Late Wednesday morning, Connor was answering e-mails when Jude trotted into the home office and leant along the back of Connor's chair. Connor let his hands fall away from the keyboard and he reclined his head against Jude's shoulder. He smelled of shampoo and soap.

Jude nuzzled his head against the crook of Connor's neck and Connor smiled. He loved it when Jude was in a good mood; he loved Jude being happy.

"What are you doing tomorrow around …" Jude pretended to muse, "Eleven-thirty?"

"Usually I'd say sitting in here doing work, but I feel like that's not the right answer right now."

"But you don't have a meeting or anything?" Jude clarified.

"Nope. My next one isn't until next … Thursday, I think. Why?"

"Date number two?" Jude immediately sounded nervous.

"I'd really love that. What are we doing?"

Jude tapped his hands along Connor's chest. "It's a surprise. I hope you'll like it."

"I'm sure I will."

Jude kissed the top of Connor's head. "Okay, go back to work."

"What are you going to do?"

"I feel like cooking something. I'm going to make something good for lunch."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

Connor squeezed Jude's hand and then Jude uncoiled himself from Connor's shoulder. Connor watched Jude walk out of the room, because he couldn't allow himself to miss that sight. Even when Jude was gone, Connor couldn't go right back to work. Instead, he ducked his head and grinned, because he had a date on Friday, and things had gone so well the past couple of days, since their first one.

Waking up Saturday morning had been difficult. Connor had looked at Jude's scars in the sunlight, rather than the darkness, and then moved on to bandaging his hand again. Connor didn't know what he would do if Jude hurt himself again; despite everything that they were working through now, Connor still didn't know what to do with that situation. He didn't think Jude would, but he didn't think Jude had in the first place. If it came up again, they would have to handle it then. Jude had been determined and optimistic, and that had helped, but that attitude crumbled when they picked Mikey up from Chris's and JP's house. The first thing the little boy had asked about was the bandage on his father's hand. They had turned the story into a lesson about being careful around the stove and, despite Jude's fears, Mikey had accepted this story and didn't seem suspicious that Jude had done it on purpose.

Their routine had continued as normal after that, with Jude being in a good mood. There had been times that Connor had suspected that Jude was determined to make himself be in a good mood, and then there had been other times when it seemed natural and genuine, like Jude had been before the depression.

Things were looking up.

Things were going to keep looking up, Connor knew it.

(-.-)

"I like when you drive," Connor said, reclining his head against the passenger seat of Jude's car.

"Well, I like when you drive."

"Ugh. How much longer until Mikey gets his licence?"

"Ten years. But we both know you're going to have a heart attack the first time he gets behind the wheel."

"Oh, at least one," Connor agreed. He looked out the window. "Where are we going?"

"A place."

Connor had no idea. It was clearly a new place, since the area they were driving in was becoming less and less familiar with him. "Are we getting there soon?"

"Yeah. We have reservations for eleven-thirty."

"Good, you've been starving me."

"You had a muffin for breakfast!" Jude said, pulling into a parking lot.

"At, like, seven-thirty. I'm a growing boy."

The car parked, Jude was able to reach over and pinch at Connor's layer of body fat. "Definitely growing."

"Don't pinch my fat."

"Middle age is coming for you."

"I'm not that old!"

"Mhmm," Jude murmured. "Okay, old man, let's feed you."

Connor rolled his eyes good-naturedly and then jumped from the car, because he was really that hungry. He waited for Jude by the trunk, and took his hand as soon as he was close. The restaurant that Jude walked them into was a sophisticated, sit-down place. A well-dressed host checked their reservation, and then led them to a table. As he sat them and introduced the specials to them, Connor had a strange feeling that the host was looking at him. He watched the man's face – he was a younger man, perhaps by five or six years. The host met his eyes with an intense gaze, something that if Connor saw it on Jude's face during their good years, he would have called it lustful. The host then dropped his gaze to Connor's hands, and Connor made it more than obvious that he was wearing a wedding band. The host immediately looked to Jude's hands, and he looked annoyed that Jude's left hand was bandaged. Connor wondered what expression the host would have worn if Jude hadn't hurt his hand, because Jude wouldn't have had a wedding band on anyway. Jude's empty ring finger had hurt Connor immensely when Jude had first taken it off and that feeling hadn't faded at all in the last few months. It was something that Connor wasn't ready to talk about yet, because he knew that if he brought it up now, it would just turn into a fight. It was on his mind though, and he was carefully waiting for when he would be able to bring it up … and hopefully Jude would put it back on.

"Your waitress will be along momentarily," the host advised them, before returning to the door.

"This place looks nice," Connor commented.

"I picked it because of the brunch menu," Jude revealed.

Connor flipped to that part of the menu. "You know me too well."

"Not enough to know what you would order," Jude said.

"I think you could take a guess." Connor nudged Jude's shoe with his own, and he felt Jude respond.

"Well, I know how you feel about French toast."

"And since you're getting the pulled pork breakfast sandwich with hash browns, you're going to share the hash browns with me, right?"

"Someone's got high expectations," Jude said sarcastically.

"I'll share my bacon."

"There's an offer I can't refuse."

They ordered for one another, switching plates around after the waitress dropped them off. They toasted to happiness and to Mikey with their coffee mugs. They talked about nothing significant at all, necessarily. They shared did-you-know tidbits and talked about Connor's work. Halfway through, Connor slipped one foot out of his shoe to tease Jude's ankle, and was met with Jude's sock foot in return. The most significant conversation came near the end of the meal, when Jude and Connor were both poking at the small collection of hash browns that Jude still had lingering on his plate.

"I've been thinking about school. I looked into law school. My old top choice," Jude clarified. "To see if it was something that I could still do."

"And?" Connor said eagerly.

"It's still something that I can do." The smile on Jude's face was triumphant. "It would make more sense to apply for next year's winter session, rather than try to start in January. But I was kind of thinking that maybe it would be interesting to take a class or two at community college in the new year. Just for something extra to do."

"If that's something you want, then you know I'll support you one hundred percent."

"You will, won't you?" Jude whispered.

"Of course."

Jude smiled, but then he looked down, the expression becoming one of sadness. "It feels really good to have that. After so long of feeling like I didn't have that."

"We've got each other's backs now, don't we?"

Jude met Connor's eyes and smiled. "Yeah, we do."

"Ready to pay and head home?"

Jude nodded, and called the waiter over. They drove home, singing along to the radio. Connor wished that he could hold Jude's hand while they drove, but he couldn't. With his left hand bandaged, Jude needed both hands to control the vehicle. Still, Connor spent most of the drive sneaking glances at Jude. Several times, he was sure that Jude was looking back, with the strangest sort of expression on his face. Connor was sure that the expression was a content one – maybe it was even happy. By the time Jude pulled into their driveway, Connor was sure that his husband was happy.

Getting out of the car, Connor paused for Jude to circle around the side of the car and take his hand. When they got to the front porch, Connor realized that something was off about Jude. He was fidgeting almost nervously.

"Is everything okay?" Connor asked.

Jude bit his bottom lip. "I was thinking."

"About more than just school?" Connor raised his eyebrows. "You've been having a productive couple of days."

Jude cracked a smile. "About something a little more serious."

"Oh." Connor's gaze slid from Jude's neck to the spot on his ribs that Connor now knew were covered in scars. "What's more serious than that?"

"Front porches." Jude's breath hitched.

"Front porches?" Connor repeated, confusion taking over. "Is there something wrong with this one?"

"Not exactly." Jude inched a little closer. "I was thinking that a lot of first kisses take place on front porches."

First kiss. It had been twenty-three years since their official first kiss, when they were young and scared and didn't know what they were doing. Now, they were older and scared and barely knew what they were doing. It wouldn't be their first kiss, but it would be their first kiss this year. The last time that Connor had kissed Jude had been at Stef's and Lena's, last Christmas. They had gotten caught under the mistletoe, and it was Christmas, and they were still trying to pretend. They had kissed there, in front of Jude's family, both desperately trying to pretend that the other hadn't tasted of bitterness.

Whispering, Jude asked, "Can I kiss you, Connor?"

"Yes." Connor wanted nothing more.

This time, when Jude stepped forward, Connor's hands were ready and rested on his waist. He felt his breath hitch and his stomach drop as Jude tilted toward him, and he closed his eyes. He felt one of Jude's hands gently rest against his chest while the other went to the back of his neck, pulling him closer inch by agonizing inch. For one breathless moment of anticipation, Connor wondered if Jude was going to pull away from him then. But then he felt Jude grasp the front of his shirt, and then he was kissing Jude.

It wasn't nearly as fearful as their first kiss, but it was nearly as hesitant. They kissed slowly, softly, as if they were scared of letting the other know what they were feeling inside. They didn't want to push too far too fast. This mattered in a desperate way that it hadn't mattered before, because if they fell apart again, neither of them could take it. Connor's heart lurched and skipped beats; it picked up speed wildly as he gently guided Jude closer.

Kiss me, Connor wanted to beg aloud, kiss me.

Jude was close and warm and attractive and Connor just wanted more from him. He knew he couldn't push or demand but Jude was quick to react to his body language. Jude was quick to lean into him. Jude pressed his hand tightly to the back of Connor's head, deepening the kiss. Connor felt himself rising upward to meet Jude, gripping onto him like Jude was salvation. He didn't need to breathe; he didn't need to think. He just needed Jude.

It was hard to settle back onto his flat feet and take a breath. His chest heaved, and it brought him a strange sense of pleasure to see that Jude was doing the same. Connor brought his hands up to rest against Jude's chest. All that he could think to say was, "That was one hell of a first kiss."

Jude rested his head against Connor's shoulder. "Does that mean I've earnt a second one?"

"As many as you want," Connor assured him, winding his hands around Jude's back to hug him. In his head, Connor wondered if he once again had endless kisses left to exchange with Jude, just as he had thought on his wedding day.

"Kay," Jude said, shyly. He kissed the side of Connor's mouth, almost on his lips again, but not quite.

"Kay," Connor echoed.

He stepped back as Jude unlocked the front door. As they walked inside and took off their shoes, there was something else that Connor needed to bring up.

"I know we're taking this slow and still figuring it out," he said, "but, what about Mikey?"

"What about Mikey?" Jude's tone and expression flared with concern.

"At what point do we tell him? At what point do we talk to him about any of this?"

"Not until we're sure. Things are good, but things are always good at the beginning." Jude closed his eyes, leaning against the wall of the front entryway. "I want to be sure about you, but, I can't be yet, and I'm sorry."

Connor reached for him. "Don't be sorry. We're sorting this out; of course we are. Things weren't easy for us right before I moved out and we still have to be careful to not repeat our mistakes. I don't want to hurt you and I want to do what I can to make this work. To be with you."

Jude rested his head against Connor's shoulder. "I want to be with you."

"We're on the same page. We want the same things. We just need to keep talking to stay like that. I just want to talk about Mikey. At what point do we talk about us being an 'us' again?"

"I don't want to confuse him. Telling him that you were moving out and we were getting divorced was confusing enough for all of us."

"Me saying that we were getting divorced was confusing enough," Connor said.

"I hated saying it."

"Me too," Connor agreed. "The problem is that … I'm here. If this works the way that we both want this to work, we're not going to have that moment of sitting down in front of him and telling him I'm moving back in, because that conversation already happened, for very different circumstances."

Connor rubbed his thumb across the back of Jude's neck and Jude tensed.

"If you could have the choice," Jude whispered in his ear, "Would you rather the way things turned out or would you rather I never have tried and we got divorced for sure?"

"Never tried," Connor answered without hesitation. "I would rather anything beyond you being in pain."

"You love me," Jude whispered.

"I do. I really do. And I like you. And I want to be your best friend again, not just that guy you married a decade ago."

"Eleven years."

"Same thing."

"I already consider you my best friend again," Jude confessed. "You're here and I can confide in you and I just like spending time in the same room as you."

"I'm glad."

"And … about Mikey … We're working on it. And it's not fair to involve him in the behind the scenes work when he's only six."

"That's my fear. I don't want to get him involved in things that are bigger than he is."

"I think we'll just … know." Jude laughed, a little bitterly. "That sounds stupid, doesn't it?"

"Not … entirely."

Jude's laugh was more genuine this time. "We still have to decide. But we know now isn't the time. So I think if and when we hit the point where it is time, we'll know. We won't be wondering if this thing is going to work out, we'll be sure. We won't be scared for everything that might go wrong, but excited for everything that might go right."

"I think you might have been a poet in another life."

Jude laughed. "No way."

"A novelist, maybe."

"What would I write about?"

"You could write about me," Connor suggested.

Jude leant back and looked at him. "Yeah. You and Moms and our kid and … That's all I'd be able to write about."

"You underestimate yourself."

Jude laughed. "You overestimate me."

Connor shrugged because he didn't think that Jude was right at all.

"You probably have work to do," Jude mused, petting the hair on the back of Connor's head.

"Yeah … Want to watch a movie?"

Jude grinned. "Really?"

"Yeah. We're going to have to put in twice the effort tomorrow though."

"Worth it."

They headed downstairs to the couch together and picked out a trashy rom-com that would have been ridiculous when they were teens and was doubly so now. Connor tucked himself under Jude's arm, snuggling close to him.

He took a deep breath and smelled nothing but Jude – his deodorant and their laundry detergent and everything he loved about Jude. Connor realized that he felt safe here; he felt like Jude would keep him safe. And then Connor said it aloud, because he had missed so many chances to say sweet things, and the more Jude knew of how Connor thought of him exactly, the better.

"You feel safe with me?" Jude repeated.

"Yeah, I do," Connor said. He didn't need to explain to Jude that it wasn't just physical safety. He just felt like he could place all of his trust in Jude; he felt like he could place his heart and soul in Jude's hands. Jude wasn't going to let him down, not again. When Connor fell, Jude was going to freefall with him, and they were going to catch each other.

"I feel safe with you too."

They settled down to watch their movie. They were only a few minutes from the end when Mikey burst through the front door with a bang. Jude and Connor yelled back that they were downstairs. They moved away from one another just before Mikey leapt from the bottom stair into the room. He flung himself on the couch between his fathers. Together, the three of them watched the ending montage. The two main leads kissed as the sunset on their beach wedding and the credits rolled. As the slow pop song began, Mikey lolled his head back and looked at both of his parents separately.

"Do you always have to kiss someone if you love them?"

"Nope," Jude said. "Some people who are in love really like to kiss and some people like to kiss a little bit and some people don't like to kiss at all."

"But they all love each other?"

Connor nodded. "They all love each other."

"Oh, good!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Why is that good?" Connor asked.

"'Cause Ashley said that she loved me today and so that meant she was gonna kiss me at recess tomorrow!"

Jude sat up. "Well, just because someone says they love you doesn't mean that you have to kiss them."

"And just because you love someone doesn't mean that they have to kiss you."

"I don't wanna kiss anybody." Mikey shook his head violently. "I just wanna play racing games with Chris and JP."

"That's a good way to look at it." Connor chuckled.

"You tell Ashley that making someone kiss you is never a good thing to do to someone," Jude said seriously.

"You should never make someone do something they don't want to do unless it's eat their vegetables and brush their teeth," Mikey explained to his father. "Right?"

Jude laughed, while Connor said, "He's like the perfect kid. What did we do?"

"I had good parents," Mikey said matter-of-factly. "But, I'm right, Father, right? Teeth and vegetables."

"Teeth and vegetables."

"And bedtime," Mikey added with a growl. "Chris and JP are allowed to stay up until nine!"

"You're allowed to stay up until eight-thirty," Connor said.

"That's not nine."

"You can stay up until nine during the summer," Jude said. "When there's no school."

"It's November."

"I know," Jude said.

Mikey sighed, then hopefully added, "Other kids in my class get to stay up until nine."

"And when you have their parents, you can stay up until nine," Connor told him.

"I don't want their parents. I just want a nine o'clock bedtime."

"Maybe next school year," Jude suggested.

"That's forever away!" Mikey complained.

"Best we can do," Connor told him.

"I won't forget," Mikey swore.

"I'll count on that," Connor promised him back.

Mikey kicked the couch cushion. "Hey! Want to see what I did in art today?"

"We'd love to," Jude encouraged.

With an excited smile, Mikey raced away from the couch and back up to the stairs to get his backpack. Connor shook his head as he watched his son scramble away.

"How'd we get so lucky with him?"

Jude didn't answer. Rather, he said, "He makes me happy. How could I ever thought about leaving him behind?"

Connor reached out and rubbed Jude's arm. "It's okay. You're here. You're always going to be here, right?"

"Right," Jude confirmed.

Mikey thundered back down the stairs. "All of us had a stuffed animal put on our desk and we had to draw it. We got to use … um … oil crayons!"

"That's exciting." Connor asked, "What was your stuffed animal?"

"A purple elephant!" Mikey settled between the two of them and presented his large picture. "I messed up on its trunk, though."

Jude put an arm around his shoulders. "I think it looks really good."

"Mmm," Mikey mused. "What do you think, Dad?"

"I think we should put it on the fridge!"

Despite Mikey's claim that the elephant was messed up, he latched onto the idea. He flung himself from the couch once again. In one hand, he held his picture. With the other, he grabbed onto Jude. "Let's go put it on now!"

Jude allowed Mikey to sweep him from the room, but not before grabbing onto Connor so that he was caught up in the excitement too. They stood in the kitchen, surveying their fridge. It was mostly a shrine to Mikey – his photos and drawings from over the years.

"Where should we put it, Mikey?" Connor asked.

"Up top!" Mikey pointed to one clear space on the freezer. "Can you do it, Dad?"

"Sure." Connor took the picture from his son and carefully positioned it at the appointed spot. He secured it with a B magnet. "What do you think?"

"I like it."

"We're going to have to clean the fridge off soon to make room for the new stuff," Jude mused.

"Cleaning is boring," Mikey said.

"You have to clean your room soon," Jude replied.

"Not right now!"

"Saturday," Connor replied. "You can clean it on Saturday."

"Do I have to?" Mikey complained.

"Yes," Jude said.

"I'll clean my room at the same time," Connor offered. "So that you're not the only one cleaning."

Mikey looked at him, considering, and then he said, "Your room at your apartment? You don't have a room here. You've been sleeping in Father's room." His chin tilted upward, like he was issuing a challenge.

"Mikey," Jude started, but Connor shook his head.

"Do you want me to go back to my apartment?" Connor asked Mikey.

"Well, no," Mikey admitted hesitantly.

"This is your house," Connor said. "I don't want you to be unhappy with me here."

"I'm not!" Mikey cried. "But … but … Do you still have your apartment?"

Connor nodded. "I do."

"Are you going to move back to it someday?"

Connor didn't know. He wanted to say no, because he was hoping that he and Jude would work well enough that Connor could just move home. But Jude and Connor could move slowly enough that it might be best for them to live apart again for a while. He wanted to say no, but he couldn't to Mikey, because he and Jude still weren't sure. "Someday."

"When?"

"I don't know."

Mikey looked down at his socks. "I don't like not knowing things."

"It's hard," Connor acknowledged.

"I like you being here. I like seeing you every day again." This time, Mikey's eyes flicked to Jude. In a child's whisper, he told Connor, "I think Father likes seeing you every day too."

Connor sidestepped the issue by focusing on Mikey. "I like seeing you every day. But it doesn't matter how much we see each other, because I'm always going to love you. Whether we just see each other on the weekends again or every day, okay?"

"I want every day."

"Well, maybe when I go back to my apartment, we can see each other a little bit more. We can talk about that when it happens, okay?"

Mikey sighed. "Okay."

Jude stood behind Connor and asked, "Is there anything else you want to talk about?"

Mikey shook his head. "No. Can I go play in my room?"

"Of course," Connor and Jude told him.

They waited until they could hear him upstairs before they turned to one another.

"There's something he's not saying," Connor said, and Jude nodded vigorously.

"We can't force him to tell us anything," Jude added quickly. "He tells us a lot as is."

"We'll just keep an eye on him."

"Do you think you being here is hurting him?" Jude whispered. "It's a weird situation, especially from his perspective."

"I mean, he's never seemed mad about it before," Connor reasoned, thinking back over Mikey's behaviour. "I just think it's the length of time I'm here. The longer I'm here the less likely it looks like I'm leaving."

Jude looked away from Connor's face. "It's too early to say you should give the apartment up."

"I know. I wasn't trying to suggest that."

Jude bit down on his lip. "We'll just make sure we're around if he needs to say anything."

Connor nodded. "Should we start dinner before it gets too late?"

"Yeah," Jude agreed. "Let's do that."

There was nothing more they could do.

So, it was pointed out to me that I forgot to tell you what the song in the last chapter was, and it's Promise I Always Will by Steffany Gretzinger. Don't forget to send me playlist ideas if you have them! This week's songs are: Fly by Sleeping With Sirens; Find Me by Tatiana Manaois; and I Still Ain't Over You by Augustana.

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Hand In My Pocket, to my tumblr URL add backslash tagged backslash hand dash in dash my dash pocket. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~