Connor was awoken by a bright light flooding into the bedroom. Confused, he pulled his arm out from underneath of Jude as they both sat up, blinking. The door to their room was wide open – the light was from the hallway. Mikey stood at the threshold of the bedroom.

"I had a bad dream," he squeaked. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Come here," Jude yawned.

Mikey shut the door behind him in order to keep the monsters out, and then he climbed up on the bed, settling between his parents.

"What happened?" Jude asked.

"There were crocodiles under my bed." Mikey dove beneath the comforter.

"We don't have any crocodiles under our bed," Connor assured him. "You're safe here."

Mikey was cuddled up in Jude's arms more than Connor's. After a moment of security, he looked to his father inquisitively. "Did you have a bad dream too, Father?"

"What?" Jude asked.

"Dad's sleeping with you."

"Yeah," Jude said. "I had a bad dream. We can protect each other, can't we?"

The pillow rustled as Mikey nodded. "And Dad can protect us both."

"I will," Connor promised him. He reached out and ruffled Mikey's hair. "Try and sleep. It's almost time for school."

"Night, Dad. Night, Father."

"Night, Mikey."

The little boy fell back to sleep fairly quickly. He flipped onto his stomach, his limbs flying over both Connor and Jude.

"He's such a violent sleeper," Connor whispered.

"We could carry him back to bed."

"You don't really want to do that."

"No," Jude confirmed. "I don't."

"Night, Jude."

"Night, Connor."

Connor smiled as Jude reached across their son and took his hand. They went to sleep, fingers intertwined.

(-.-)

Jude knocked on the office door and Connor looked up with a smile. "Hey."

"Hey," Jude replied, leaning his head against the office door. "I need to talk to you about something."

Connor closed his laptop. "What is it?"

Jude bit his lip and walked slowly into the room. He didn't go to his usual spot or over to Connor. Rather, he stood by the window. Connor spun around in his chair to face him, a little concerned.

"My birthday is on Monday," Jude said shyly.

"I know. I've got your present already. I don't need reminding."

Jude looked at him. "You never forgot my birthday."

"But there's a reason you're bringing it up."

"Moms are having a birthday cake and stuff for me on Sunday at the family dinner."

"Right." Connor knew that too.

"You can say no, of course, but I was hoping you'd come. I know we'll be here together on my real birthday but when my family celebrates always feels more like my real birthday anyway. Please?" Jude said, and then he held his breath.

Connor hesitated, because he was still avoiding Jude's family. He saw Stef and Lena often, particularly since they had learnt of Jude's suicide attempt, but he hadn't seen anyone else. He was scared to see anyone else. He didn't think that Jude would trash talk him to his family – it wasn't a Jude thing to do. If Jude had vented to anyone, it would have been his parents. But Callie was still as protective as Jude as she had ever been, and Connor knew that she would hate him on principal now.

"Jude, I don't know …"

"They won't say anything to you about us. Moms and I will make sure they won't. They don't need to know anything but that we're trying to be friends –"

" – we're living together again! And ex-husbands don't just show up to each other's birthdays!"

"We're not divorced yet!"

"They'll think we're trying to get back together."

"We are."

"I thought that we both didn't want anyone to know!"

"We don't!" Jude agreed. "But, please? I don't want a present. I just want you to be there."

How could Connor say no to him? He left his office chair and joined Jude at the window. "Okay. If you want me to go, I'll go."

"I know it'll be weird but I want you there."

"I can deal with weird. I'll deal with more than weird for you," Connor promised him.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable. I'd just –"

"If you want me there, I want to be there. What kind of friend would I be if I didn't show up to your birthday party?"

Jude smiled shyly at him. "Kiss me?"

Connor nodded. So far, they had been shy with their kissing. They had only exchanged one since their last first kiss. Connor was treading carefully. He knew that he had a tendency to push Jude a little bit. He had to be pushy when it came to Jude's mental health – he went through his things and checked his ribs for new cuts before bed; not only that, but Connor was both extremely in love with and extremely attracted to Jude. Connor didn't think that Jude was any less in love or any less attracted to him; Connor simply thought that Jude had better self-restraint than he did. In his head, Connor knew how slowly he and Jude should proceed. But when Jude got close, all of his logic went out the window.

Jude leant close to him. There was barely any moment of anticipation before Connor lightly felt Jude's lips brush his own. Connor would have been content with that – he would have been content with anything that Jude had to offer – but Jude surprised him by grabbing his hips. Connor felt passion flare between them.

"Really kiss me," Jude whispered against his lips.

Connor didn't need to be asked twice. His hands landed on Jude's hips and then he pushed his husband back against the wall. More than anything, though, Connor just wanted to kiss him. He had missed the gesture. He had missed the closeness. Connor didn't let his hands roam any further than they had, although he found that one hand eventually moved to Jude's chest, gripping tightly at his t-shirt. Jude slumped down the wall so that they were more on the same level. Connor could have stayed like that all day, leaning close to Jude's warmth and their lips pressed together. One of Jude's hands was one the back of his head and the other was flat against the small of his back.

Connor let out the smallest of sounds as Jude's teeth grazed his lower lip; Jude knew how much he loved that. Connor went for a full-mouthed kiss, just as the downstairs door banged open.

"Dad? Father?"

"Office!" Jude yelled, pulling himself upright.

Connor didn't want to let go of Jude. "Is it really that late?"

Jude nodded. "He needs to see more of a bubble."

Connor reluctantly let go of Jude and they managed to settle themselves in their respective chairs before Mikey came in.

"How was school?" Jude asked.

"Can I have a sleepover soon?" Mikey asked.

"Sure. Chris and JP?"

Mikey nodded. "I always go to their house. But they want to come to my house."

"We're always happy to have them," Connor said. "Whenever you want."

"What about next weekend?" Mikey asked.

"Sure. Friday or Saturday night?"

Mikey flopped down on the floor, pondering the question. "I like Saturday!"

"Sounds like a plan. When you see them at school on Monday, tell them that their parents should call us, okay?"

"Okay!" Mikey grabbed one of the trucks sitting in the corner and rolled it toward Jude's feet. "What did you do today?"

"I picked out my birthday dinner," Jude told him.

"Your birthday's on Monday," Mikey informed him. "I remember!"

Jude bent down and rolled the truck back to Mikey. "It's nice to remember birthdays."

Mikey nodded. "I don't remember how old you're going to be."

"Thirty-seven," Connor replied. "Father's going to be thirty-seven."

Mikey turned to look at him, and then aimed a truck under the desk. "That's how old you are."

"Right. I already had my birthday this year."

"My birthday comes first!"

"Yep. Perks of being a February baby."

"Perks," Mikey whispered, echoing Connor. "I like that word!"

"It's a fun word," Jude agreed.

Mikey sent another truck under Connor's desk. This time, it bounced off Connor's feet. "Got you, Dad!"

"You definitely did."

Jude stood up. "Let's go downstairs, Mikey. Dad's got some work that he needs to finish up."

"Okay!" Mikey jumped up. "Are you gonna make supper? Can I help?"

"Sure," Jude agreed. "But we don't need to start supper for a little bit yet."

"But what are we making?"

"Chicken burgers and onion rings," Jude answered.

Their voices faded away and Connor reopened his laptop. He could still feel Jude's mouth burning on his own. Even thinking about it, caused Connor's heart to race. He was lost in love, completely. Connor hid his face in his hands, grinning like an idiot. He and Jude had been on two dates, Mikey didn't know yet, and nothing was official, but he felt it settle into his bones.

He had his family back.

He finished his work up as quickly as he could, although he didn't get downstairs until dinner was finished. Mikey demolished his chicken burger and immediately asked for another one. Jude gave him half a one, which he didn't finish. He filled out his book report chart while Jude and Connor cleaned up from dinner. Afterward, Jude signed it, and then they watched some TV before bed. Mikey went to sleep easily. Jude decided that he wanted to watch TV in bed, instead of going downstairs, so while Connor went to lock up and turn out the lights, Jude got ready for bed.

When Connor walked back into the bedroom, Jude was sitting up against the pillows, directly in the middle of the bed. Connor hesitated by the futon. He'd had a little bit of a feeling that Jude had grown distant over the course of the afternoon and evening, but this proved it. Connor had definitely done something wrong.

"Jude? How's your hand?" Connor sat down on the edge of the bed anyway. They could talk about the distance later. Now, they needed to talk about the most important thing: Jude's overall health.

Jude looked down at the bandage. He picked at the edge of it and sighed. Connor knew that he was very frustrated with how slow the healing process of the burns were.

"The bandage probably needs to be changed by now, right?"

"Yeah. I left the stuff on the counter so you could pretend you were being sneaky while you went through my drawers."

"I wasn't hiding that from you," Connor said, standing up.

"You know that if I were hiding something, it wouldn't be in the places you check?"

"Are you hiding something from me?" Connor asked.

"No," Jude replied immediately. "Do you trust me when I say that?"

"Of course."

Jude looked satisfied with the answer. This time, when Connor collected the bandages and antiseptic cream, he didn't pause to go through the drawers in the bathroom, just to prove the point. It was never that he distrusted Jude at all. It was that he knew Jude's mental state had a reason to lie to him, however, even as it was improving. He bandaged Jude's hand in silence.

"Thanks," Jude said when Connor was done.

"Are you okay?"

"Are you?"

"Don't distract from the question," Connor said.

"I'm not." Jude peeked at him. "That's one of the reasons that I'm not okay."

"Because you think I'm not okay?" Connor clarified. "Jude, I'm great."

"No. Because I don't think that you would tell me otherwise. I worry about that."

"I'll never lie to you –"

"I don't think that," Jude interrupted. "But … I tell you everything. I can't not. But … sometimes I worry that you don't voluntarily tell me things. That you wait for me to ask. I think that you're trying to protect me or keep from upsetting me. I don't feel like we're totally equal and that worries me. I'm not fragile, Connor. I know I'm a little more … needier, maybe, sometimes, than you are, but I'm not weak."

"I don't think you're weak, Jude. I just don't want you to have to worry about me. I know you worry a lot about you and about you and relating to everyone else, so I don't want to add to that. On top of that, I really have nothing else to say, because I … I don't have anything I'm hiding. I'm happy to be here with you and Mikey. I'm happy to be here. This is what I've been wanting."

Jude nodded.

"Is there something else you need to talk about? You seemed a little off this evening. Was it the kiss?"

Jude nodded again, but he stopped being able to look at Connor. "It's not that I didn't want you to kiss me and it's not that I didn't want you to kiss me like you did. I'm scared, though. It's hard to try to be us again because …" He paused to search for words.

"Because of the way we were before?"

"No. I think I've managed to forgive that because you've proven that you aren't the person that you were when you left."

"Then what is it?"

"Sometimes I wonder if it's just about … my attempt. Of keeping me better. And I wonder about what it's going to be like when you don't need to take care of me. If I hadn't tried, you wouldn't be here. We would never have tried to be together again. We would have just gotten a divorce and moved on with our lives. So, what happens when I don't need to be taken care of?"

"Jude, in the entire time that I've loved you, this is the first time that you've ever needed me to take care of you like this. I don't mind taking care of you but the thing that I want the most is for you to be you and independent. I don't need you to need me. I just want you to get to that place where you are truly happy and content, because it does hurt me to see you like this. When you don't need to be taken care of, I'm not going to be stuck in place where I trying to keep you in a place where you need me like this. Does that make sense?"

Jude nodded, although he looked like he was going to cry. "I don't want to be scared of you. I wish we could just snap back into kisses like that and everything that I want to do with you but I can't."

"I know. And neither can I. We want the same things and we both know the same things. Don't be scared."

"You're not scared?"

"Terrified. I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose you again."

"I don't think you're going to."

"I think you're right." Connor kissed Jude's knuckles. "I'm going to go get my pyjamas on, okay?"

"Okay," Jude whispered.

Connor got ready for bed as quickly as he possibly could. When he rushed back into the bedroom, Jude was cuddled up on his own side of the bed, leaving Connor's side clear for him. Connor practically dove under the covers; that was how happy he was to be in bed with Jude. Jude picked up Connor's arm and settled himself beneath of it.

"What are we watching tonight?" Connor asked, looking up at the paused screen. "Mythbusters? You're getting desperate, Jude."

Jude shrugged and Connor pressed play. They were only about half a minute in when Jude whispered Connor's name.

"Yeah?" Connor asked, turning his head.

He was met with Jude's lips. Their kiss was sweet and brief, but it was exactly what they needed. Their lips evened out into a smile at nearly the same time and Connor held Jude even closer to his side. Connor was never giving this up; he was right where he was supposed to be.

Don't forget to send me playlist ideas if you have them! This week's songs are: Call Me by Shinedown; and Move Together by James Bay.

So, on tumblr I'm: we are all of legend now (with dashes between every word). If you want to find my replies to anon reviews, add backslash tagged backslash anon dash replies. If you want to see anything I post about Hand In My Pocket, to my tumblr URL add backslash tagged backslash hand dash in dash my dash pocket. Punctuation is spelled out due to Fanfiction's restrictions. If you're having any trouble accessing the tumblr content please send me a pm and I can format it for you in a different way.

~TLL~