OMG I didn't really think people thought this was zadr XD Well, it's not. If you've read this far only for the ship, then I'm sorry. No, not really. I'm laughing my ass off.
I wrote this more than a week ago, but I've been without internet so I couldn't post it, sorry for the wait fellow Humans!
Guest: Good! That's exactly what I want you to feel! I have succeeded! And yes, Dib must be horrified XD
Fancykitty1123: Hehehe, it was very tempting to have them to so XD but it would be weird lol XDDDD
Chapter 8:
2024, March 30, Saturday, 04:45pm, planet Irk
After two months on Irk, the crew had gotten used to the daily routine. Zim got allowed into the Piggie at any time, Gaz and Torque started scouting some more area, Dib took notes of everything, and learnt from Zim just as much as Zim learnt from him. Sometimes, other Irkens came around, but none of them really stayed for long. Dib managed to get some photos of them, and a few bruises from them. Lucky thing Zim usually stayed close. Keef's birthday came and went without anything special happening, except for some surprised faced when they realized he was the oldest (except for Bitters and possibly Zim).
It was Easter time. A time where they all knew people at Earth were trying to make a small celebration with their friends. The crew didn't have the time to slack off, but, with a friendly flick from destiny, one of their traps finally captured a bird, which they thankfully accepted as Easter food. Dib watched happily when the letter M opened up the bird. The took notes on a tiny computer about how it's insides looked.
Zim sat on the kitchen island where the letter M worked (even though he wasn't allowed to) and devoured leftovers no Human wanted. The Irken failed to understand why anyone would throw away the feathers and bones instead of eating them! But Humans were weird when it came to food; they were extremely picky. They didn't even eat their meat raw!
"Zim, aren't there any seasons on this planet?" Dib asked as the letter M put the bird thingy in the oven.
"Off course. You put seasoning in all your food",Zim said and nodded with a smile. Dib sent him a look.
"Not seasoning. Seasons. Like winter and summer. It hasn't even rained ever since we got here!" he said.
"Zim knows of nothing like that", Zim said with a flick of his wrist. That got Dib thinking about how Zim would react to Earthen weather. He didn't notice Zim leaving.
"Zita! Why is this east-urrr so important?" Zim asked as he marched into Zita's office without knocking. Zita jumped slightly, startled by Zim's loud voice.
"Easter? It's just a thing we celebrate", she shrugged," isn't Dib supposed to explain this stuff to you?"
"The Dib is busy talking to himself", Zim said. Zita sighed.
"I actually don't know why we celebrate easter. It might be something from when Humans were religious. Something Christian or Jewish," she mused. Zim understood nothing.
"You speak of stupid", he concluded. The nurse frowned at him but decided to ignore his rudeness. "Zim will go outside and forget he ever asked you!"
2024, March 30, Saturday, 06:02pm, planet Irk, outside the Piggie
The Easter dinner was quick and not very celebrative, but still a nice change from the ordinary routine. The bird was the topping on the cake.
Dib had tried teaching Zim how to use a knife and fork, but in vain. The Irken usually didn't want their cooked food anyway. He managed on fruit and a big bug every now and then. Dib made a theory that Zim needed more sugar and less protein than a Human body. Maybe that was why he didn't kill Dib the first time they met. It was too much meat for one tiny Irken. The alien also barely reached to their table when he sat at a chair, so he usually sat on the table, despite everybody's attempts at making him sit correctly.
"Easter is a foolish thing to celebrate", Sergeant Mayor Bitters sneered," when I was in your age during world war 1, our skool taught us that this man, Jesus, died to save humanity. Now we know that no matter what we do, in the end humanity is doomed anyway."
"You were nineteen during world war 1?! B-but that's one hundred and ten years ago!" Dib choked on his food.
"That's correct, Dib. Your math teacher would be proud of you", Bitters said. Zita snickered. Dib's ears blushed a deep red.
"But that would make you ... 121 years old! That's insane!"
"You're insane", Zita said between fake coughs.
"Gee, thanks for the support, Zita!" Dib sighed," don't you think it's weird, though? Why would the government let a 121 year old woman into space?"
"Dib, it's not up to you to question the government's decision, your job is to blindly follow orders!" Bitters snapped.
"The world is harsh, Dib", Zita said.
"Well said, Zita", Bitters commented. The girl smiled teasingly at Dib. He frowned at her and looked away. At his left, Keef was blowing kisses towards Zim, who tried to figure out what that meant. The Irken looked like he might stick his fork into Keef's brain.
"Keef", Dib started carefully," if you want to live, you should stop."
"No need being overprotective, Dib. I'm just flirting, 's all", Keef smiled. That was just freaky.
"Uh ... let's just say I warned you ..."
2024, March 31, 05:12pm, planet Vort, the royal laboratory
"Oh my Gkivbas!" Sev En gasped. He scrolled through the pages of this particular Human," this man was a genius! How come we didn't think of this?"
"His name was professor Membrane", Lard Nar said," he was one of Earth's most succesful men. The records say he saved mankind more than eleven times!"
"I know what the records say! I'm reading them too!" Sev En reminded.
"Here it says that one of his experiments was to create a super robot, just like we are!"
"I know! I'm reading this too!" Sev En snapped.
"Apparently his plan was to make a cyborg out of an animal that would be extremely powerful and loyal!" Lard Nar continued. Sev En put down his reading device and listened to his companion instead.
"The project cancelled when he sadly passed away, though. One of the test subjects got a short-circuit and attacked him and three other scientists. After that the experiment was deemed too dangerous."
"Interesting. We should ask for permission to continue his studies", Sev En mused," let's send a message to Her Highness immediately!"
TBC
It's one of the shorter chapters, I know. But there was nothing else to put in here.
Next chapter is already written! I just need to control-read it.