Ending Two, Part 4 (or Part 80)
The road seemed to be endless as the tires ate up mile after mile of the blacktop that divided the desert. Inside the nondescript vehicle silence prevailed and weighed heavily upon its occupants. Neither of them said a word, lost in their own thoughts of the road that lay ahead of them. They each had their own path to follow and circumstances prevented them from taking either path together. Learning that after everything they had been through their paths were destined to part was a cruel twist of fate but one that could not be changed. Even if they were to be selfish, to take what time they could have together, the Granolith had already informed them that Maria would return to her universe regardless of her willingness to do so.
Maria brushed her hair back out of her face when the wind from the open window caught it, whipping it across her cheek. She used the movement as cover to wipe her eyes, catching the teardrops desperately clinging to her eyelashes in a losing battle. There was nothing to be said that hadn't already been said the night before, something she was grateful for because she could hardly swallow past the lump in her throat.
They had come so far and now it was being taken away. He was being taken away from her for the second time in less than a year. She had fallen in love with him and against what had seemed to be insurmountable odds he had developed feelings for her too. It was just as hard to leave him as it was to leave her Michael. Maybe even harder because he was still alive in this universe. It was going to hurt so much to walk away from him and she wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that she would remember her time with him. Would he remember her after his mission? No, she decided. Once he changed the timeline his future, what was his present right now, would happen differently and they would never meet like they had.
She turned her head to look at him, taking in the white-knuckled fist clenched on his thigh. His left hand was wrapped around the steering wheel in a stranglehold grip and his mouth was set in a grim line as he stared through the windshield. Her eyes slowly traveled down over his stubborn jaw, ghosting over his thinly compressed lips before sliding down over his chest and arms to settle on his fisted hand. She wanted so badly to touch him, to soothe the anger and hurt she knew he was feeling. He would admit to the anger but anything else he would deny. Her left hand rested on the seat, her fingernails picking at the thick seam that ran along the edge.
He was stubborn and he didn't like being told what to do. He hated the Granolith, resented it for taking her from him and for assigning him a mission that he didn't even want. He could go back in time, alter events, change all of their lives and have her in his life, but she knew it wouldn't be the same. If she was right and he had no memory of their time together then he would have an honest chance of finding happiness with her counterpart. It would be different, she would be different, but if he allowed it to happen they could be happy together.
Her throat worked as she tried to gain control of her voice before speaking. "Promise me, Michael… that you'll finish the mission and when you do finally find me…" she swallowed hard, unable to continue.
Michael was doing his best to keep his mind focused on what was coming when she suddenly broke the silence. He hadn't been very successful; he had spent most of the time contemplating their last night together and wondering what would happen if he told the Granolith they weren't following its mandate and she wasn't going back. What could it really do if they defied its orders? Was it capable of making her disappear as she had suggested? Could he get her far enough away from the machine to disrupt its powers? It had to have some sort of power if it could just… zap her out of existence and send her back to her universe.
Beside him Maria had been quiet with the exception of the intermittent sounds of distress that she was trying so hard to hide. He had a feeling that was mostly for his benefit, certain that if she were alone she would most likely give her emotions free rein. Part of him was ready to take the risk; tell the Granolith to shove it, and take her as far away as they could get. The other part, the part that was duty-bound to follow this unwanted mission through to its conclusion knew that no single person was more important than the survival of an entire planet. Something inside of him railed at his ability to logically separate emotion from reason.
His left hand clamped down on the steering wheel when his chest tightened at the thought of losing her. For the first time in his life he knew what it felt like to have something he didn't want to let go of. He had never gotten involved with any woman, had never understood why a man would willingly tie himself to one woman, and now that he was beginning to comprehend it she was slipping through his fingers. He didn't want to let her go. He didn't give a damn about the rest of the planet. It could go to hell for all he cared.
She had taught him more than he had ever wanted to know about love and because of that he didn't want her to go back to a universe where she would be alone. Whether or not she had her friends was of little consequence. Without his counterpart there she would waste away. She would suffer two major losses in very little time and she would have no one to lean on, no one who would be there to help her deal with that loss. That feeling of pressure on his chest increased at the thought of her trying to deal with everything on her own.
Maria was a strong woman but she had been through hell after losing his counterpart. At least in that loss there was some finality. She hadn't had the opportunity to completely accept it though. She'd had eight months to come to terms with her Michael's death, but in so many ways she was just now going to be facing that reality. She had held out hope that his counterpart would be alive when she returned but the Granolith had destroyed that for her when it had informed her that her return to her universe didn't mean the hybrid would be alive. But now, on top of dealing with accepting his death she would have to come to grips with losing him. It was too much to ask of anyone and it just notched up his anger at the otherworldly device.
He turned his head to look at her, taking his eyes off of the road and meeting her devastated gaze. She was trying hard to put on a brave face but he could see what this was doing to her. The Granolith, a device somehow connected to his race, was responsible for causing her pain and there was nothing he could really do about it. He dropped his gaze to her hand that was busy worrying the thick seam and he reached over, uncurling her fingers and sliding his through hers.
"You know what you're askin'," he said gruffly.
Maria nodded, nearly choking when she opened her mouth to speak. After taking a few moments to compose herself she tried again. "I know what I'm asking, Michael."
"She won't be you." He shrugged his right shoulder. "I mean, she will be you, but…"
"No, I know what you mean." She held his hand in her lap, the fingers of her free hand stroking over his knuckles as she forced the words out. "You'll have the chance to save her and have a life that'll be different, but you'll have the opportunity to love and be loved."
"She might not even like me," he muttered.
Maria chuckled, the sound thick. "I'm sure there'll be days when she can't stand you, but she'll love you with everything she has."
"You can't know that," he denied.
"I do know that. It might be a different universe, but she's me. You're Michael and I'm Maria, it's what's meant to be."
Michael stared at the road, his sharp gaze quickly locating the area where they would need to turn off to go to the Granolith. His mind automatically went back to his experience on the dreamplane and his meeting with his counterpart. "Doesn't matter what universe it is, Michael Guerin is meant to fall in love with Maria DeLuca. That's just how it works; the stonewall hasn't been built that she can't get past." She couldn't have any idea what her Michael had said to him but it was apparent that they both felt the same way.
"All I'm asking is for you to give her a chance, Michael. Give both of you a chance to be happy. I know you're a soldier and I know you're being asked to take on a phenomenal responsibility and it'll change your life… You deserve to be loved and she's," she swallowed hard, "she's the one who knows how to love you the way you need to be loved."
He braked and took the turn, the truck bouncing over the uneven ground. His jaw clenched but he nodded sharply in response to her request though he didn't know if he would be able to open himself up to another woman even if it was her. Or at least a version of her. H had no idea if he would even remember, unconsciously, to give that other Maria a chance. Would he somehow sense something familiar? Have some sort of flash to let him know? When he met that other Maria girl for the first time, would there be some kind of ingrained memory of what his Maria had asked?
Maria looked up when the rock formation loomed ahead and she could feel the tears leap to the surface once more. It was all happening too fast and nothing was going to stop it. Her heart thumped painfully slow in her chest as the tires ate up the distance too quickly and before long the truck was rolling to a stop at the base of the formation.
As they stood at the beginning of the path she felt everything inside of her rebel at taking that first step. She felt as if her feet were made of lead as she forced them to take one step after the other. Exhaustion and weariness colored her movements as she followed Michael and at one point her right foot caught on the exposed surface of a rock and she tripped. She was saved from hitting the ground when he turned and reached out to help her back up, taking her hand and keeping her as close as possible as they trekked the rest of the way to the hidden doorway.
They were silent as they entered the inner chamber, watching the Granolith as its color shifted to announce it was aware of their presence. "You have returned," it rumbled. "You are prepared to go on with your journey, hybrid?"
"No," Michael bit out angrily, "but it doesn't matter, does it?"
Maria bit back the hysterical laughter that was trying to bubble up. It was such a Michael reaction and in spite of the weight of the moment she wanted to laugh. She didn't dare though. She knew if she started laughing the tears would follow and she would turn into an emotional wreck. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready to let him go again, to go back to her universe and leave him for another version of her that didn't know him.
"By changing the past, you change the future. You're changing my present. I'll forget about Maria but she won't forget about me. How fair is that?" he demanded. "Whoever or whatever created you obviously forgot to give you a conscience or a heart." Listen to me, he thought with a mental shake of his head, talking about having a conscience and a heart. Damn, what had she done to him? "Save the world, destroy the girl. Have I got that right?"
"The human will be preserved in her universe as well as in yours," the Granolith answered.
"Lotta fuckin' good that's gonna do either of us."
The device shifted colors again and the humming lowered to a quiet drone in the background for several minutes. "You wish to remember?" it asked finally.
"Is that an option?" Michael questioned hesitantly. Did he want that? To know what he'd had and then lost?
"There is a way to preserve the memories." The device pulsed as Michael approached it slowly. "In the wall beyond there is a device. There is no human word for it, however it will in essence record whatever you wish to remember."
Michael jerked around when he heard a quiet hissing sound and he slowly approached the wall the Granolith had indicated. A panel slid into the wall, revealing a recessed area with a small device suspended inside. He reached out and wrapped his hand around it, lifting it out and holding it in his palm. "You're tellin' me this thing's gonna record my memories?"
"When you are ready all that is necessary is for you to take the device in your hands and connect with it. Once the connection is established the device will scan your mind, automatically recording only those memories that you choose. You will be able to carry the device with you on your journey. You will begin to lose your memories as you succeed in changing the past but the device and any information contained within it is protected by the Granolith. Whatever is recorded will remain until such time as it is no longer needed."
Michael pocketed the device and stepped back to look at the Granolith. "What happens now?"
The humming intensified and the color shifted to a midnight blue, the shade so dark that it appeared to be nearly black. "Now the human must return to her universe and you must begin your mission to save your planet."
He swallowed hard as the moment of separation fell upon them. He didn't want to let her go. "Give us a minute."
The Granolith's color faded to a calm green and the humming dropped to a quiet buzz that was barely discernible in deference to his order.
Michael rounded the Granolith and came to stand in front of Maria. "I'm not gonna bother askin' if you're ready for this. You're getting screwed in this deal and – "
Maria reached up to cover his mouth. "It's what we have to do. It's the right thing."
"Fuck the right thing. How is this right?"
"Michael…" she shook her head, her eyes locked on his and seeing the pain he wouldn't verbalize. "We agreed that this was what we were gonna do." Maria went back what felt like so many years ago to a time when Liz had told her about what she had sacrificed to save their Earth and its future. Now it was her turn to pay the price, and not even for her own future or Earth! Liz. God, she missed her so much. At lease she would have her back. She would have her best friend to help her survive this 'saving the world business' that came with falling in love with an alien from Antar.
His hands came up to caress her cheeks. "You're gonna be alone. You're goin' back into a situation with no intel. You have no idea what's happened while you've been gone. Things could be – "
Maria shook her head. "Don't, Michael," she begged desperately. "We have to do this."
His hand slid over her cheek to cup her jaw and he tipped her head up. "I'm actually gonna miss you bitchin' about everything and I'm gonna miss your cookin'. Damn, I've never known anyone who could cook like you do. I'm gonna miss havin' company around the house and havin' someone to watch a good movie with." He leaned in and captured her mouth, his mobile lips drawing the kiss out as his fingers brushed over her face. "I'm gonna miss you," he whispered raggedly when he pulled back.
The tears in her eyes spilled over at his admission and she threw her arms around his neck, pulling him close and holding him tightly. "I'm gonna miss you too." She drew back to look into his face, memorizing his features. "I hope I don't forget you. At least if I have the memories I have a part of you." She rubbed her thumb over his bottom lip. "I love you, Michael," she said quietly. She smiled through her tears as she looked up at him. "Let's get this over with. There's no reason to draw it out and make in any more painful than it already is."
He watched her as she moved away and stepped up to the Granolith, calling out to it. He stood back, his eyes on her as her hand settled against the device and she told it she was ready. The tears on her face cut straight through him and he felt it like a physical blow when she was suddenly pulled into the Granolith. It took everything he had to stand back and let her go and it was only when she was safely ensconced within the device that he approached it, pressing his hand against it as the machine began to hum in earnest. His heart literally felt like it was being ripped from his chest as he looked up at her, certain she was taking it with him. "I love you," he mouthed silently as their hands met on either side of the device.
He was thrown back when the machine emitted a powerful jolt and he covered his ears when the high-pitched whining became worse. He rolled over, propping himself up on his elbows with his forehead braced against the floor of the chamber. Silence suddenly fell over the chamber and he slowly lowered his hands, pushing himself up to look at the Granolith that was once more quietly humming. His gaze scanned over it as he stood and moved closer, feeling a hollow ache in his chest when he saw that Maria was gone.
Wordlessly he took the recording device from his pocket and held it in his palm, staring down at it as he allowed the connection to form. The connection allowed it to determine which memories he wished to retain and sometime later his eyes opened and he looked up at the alien device. He felt drained, exhausted, and only his promise to Maria kept him going as he followed its instructions and placed his hand against its surface. He barely had time to register that he was inside the Granolith before he was hit by a wave of dizziness and he felt himself blacking out.