As my professional life was thriving, my personal life was crumbling. Iris hated the long hours I spent on the set, the parties or events I had to make an appearance for to promote the show and how even doing everyday things like grocery shopping, eating out or going to the drycleaners was difficult for us because people recognised me. But the thing she hates the most was my association with Buffy.

Whenever I get fan mails on how Buffy and I should be together or when we come across fans who say things like how Buffy was perfect for me, she would walk off in a huff. I reassured her that it was nothing and I tried to include her in my professional world. I would bring her to events, invited her on set and even introduced her to my castmates.

However, word got around how I am with Buffy. The closeness, the protectiveness, the dependency, the assurance I gave Buffy and it was like icing on the cake for Iris. She told me to choose her or the show and I thought she was unreasonable. I have been nothing but faithful to my marriage and blamed it on her insecurities. It was evident by that time that my marriage was over. I filed for divorce and moved out.

When our divorce was finalised, Iris went back home to Philadelphia and cut off contact. To say I was sad would be an understatement. Iris was a constant in my life for so long and losing her was hard. I drowned myself in work and stayed away from dating. During the difficult period, my castmates were amazing especially Buffy. In the first few months of my divorce, she subtly organised dinners and get-togethers for the cast so I wouldn't be lonely and I was grateful to have found a great friend in her.

By the end of the second season, the show's popularity skyrocketed and we got even busier; attending interviews, conferences, photo shoots and the show even branched out into novels, games and merchandises. By then, our on-screen pairing or what the fans called, the 'Blara-ship' was considered the hottest couple on TV and pretty soon, requests for our appearance as a couple came pouring in.

When news got out that I was no longer married, the entertainment reporters were having a field day and old rumours resurfaced, stating that Buffy was the reason my marriage broke down. It hurt her as much as it did me but Buffy was a very private person and refused to comment, simply saying she doesn't mix personal and work.

In truth, my attraction towards her grew and I did consider asking her out but her statement stopped me from actually asking her. It was clear that she doesn't see me as someone she'll date. I simply shrugged it off and focused on work.

Shortly after shooting for the third season started, one of the producers called for a meeting with Buffy and me. Usually when that happens, it means there was going to be a big change for the characters.

There was a change alright and a pretty big one; I was offered to start my own show. It was exciting for me because Blaine had so much depth and having my own show meant that I could explore the possibilities. This also meant that the Blara-ship that fans loved so much had to end and that was a bit daunting for me and Buffy. Blaine was an integral character in Lara's life and Lara was the driving force behind Blaine's. These characters relied on each other as much as Buffy and I relied on each other.

We suggested letting the couple continue their relationship long distance but it was shot down for growth of character and in terms of storyline, it would not be easy and eventually, may not make sense. In conclusion, we had to break up.

The break-up scene was so hard to film. Being the passionate actor that she is, Buffy became the very essence of her character, Lara, crying her eyes out because she was a fan of the ship herself and did not want it to end. Being the other half of the ship devastated me too and seeing Buffy bawling was heartbreaking for me. I hugged her and comforted her, telling her it was going to be okay. We had a tearful goodbye on the last day I filmed her show but when we parted, she put on her sweet smile and told me my show will rock.

While promoting the first season of my show, Buffy showed her support by attending the events with me and I was so grateful for that. It was the first time heading my own show and her presence, supporting me and being by my side made the transition easier. The network renewed a second season for my show by the time the tenth episode of the first season was on air. My show was successful and the happiest person other than me was Buffy. She was constantly giving a shout-out to my show and texting me whenever she managed to catch an episode. I was so thankful to her in so many ways. I got my break because of her show and I would like to think that her constant promotion of my show was part of the reason why my show was well-received.

The rumours about me and Buffy died down slightly after I had my own show but I would still smile when people asked me about her. I would say that although I don't see her, she was in my heart and that I would do anything for her. She would do the same, telling reporters that she missed me and that Blara is meant to be. We would still try to keep in touch but meet-ups was getting difficult due to our conflicting schedules and over time, even our texts got lesser.

I got to know about her dating William Lane through the tabloids and was slightly surprised. I guess a part of me expected to hear it from Buffy herself but she seems happy and I knew she has had a crush on William since they worked on a movie previously. By that time, I was dating Nina Ash for a couple of months. We met at a party and she was a new actress with a supporting role in a show on another network. We hit it off and I liked spending time with her. After dating for about 10 months, Nina found out she was pregnant and marriage seems to be the right thing to do. This time my wedding was in Los Angeles and I flew my family in from Philadelphia. I have come to think of LA as my home now.

I was on cloud nine when my son was born and named him Liam. Nina decided to take a break from acting to raise Liam, preferring not to have a nanny. During this time, Buffy got married to William. I was invited but could not attend due to work and sent them a congratulatory gift.

From time to time, Buffy and I will cross paths due to guest star spots on each other's shows or we'll bump into each other at parties. By 2007, due to cancellation, my show aired its final episode and I bid goodbye to Blaine Mason, the character I played for 9 years. Buffy had ended hers a year earlier much to the disappointment of fans and producers because work had already started on the new season. Buffy felt it was the right time to end the show after playing Lara Kaden for 8 years. She wanted to focus on her marriage and explore new projects. Naturally, after her show ended, people asked me what I thought. Of course I support her decision and jokingly added that she can always come over to my show.

By 2009, I was working on my new show. I was a part of an ensemble cast and this time my character was a history teacher in a high school for delinquents. It was an interesting role for me and I savoured my new character. It was an added bonus that the show became popular by mid season one.

Like a curse; when my professional life was going well, my personal life took a toll. My marriage began to hit its rough patch at the fourth year mark. Nina stopped acting completely and was a homemaker. My son was growing up well and attending pre-school. All seemed well and good but there was something missing. I wasn't attracted to Nina anymore. She kept herself in shape and she looked better than most women her age but there was no spark.

I tried to relive the romance and scheduled dinner dates and romantic getaways but it didn't work. We couldn't talk. Our dinners were filled with silence or when we do talk, it's 'Liam's teacher called' or 'Liam drew you the other day' or 'Liam needs new shoes'. I thought back on how we first started dating and wondered what was it about her that attracted me and I was drawing a blank.

By the sixth year, I knew I wasn't happy anymore and realised that spending time with my son was the only thing I looked forward to at the end of the day. I decided to have the talk with Nina and explained to her that I was no longer happy in the marriage. Divorce was on my mind but after one failed marriage, I really wanted to make this one work so I suggested we see a marriage counsellor, which we did and we were fine for about a year. Nina even got pregnant again. But shortly after our daughter Kathy was born, I felt I was in a rut again.

I talked to Nina again and this time I broached the topic of divorce and she broke down, begging that we try to make it work, asking me to think of our kids and I agreed. My kids mean everything to me. They were my pride and joy. She also promised to be a better wife but that's the thing; it was not the issue. She was already a good wife and on top of that, a good mother but what I wanted was a partner. Someone I could connect with and talk to but I convinced myself that she was enough. She takes care of me and the kids, making sure the house runs smoothly; what more could I ask for?

After some time, everything was routine. I go to work, come home, have dinner, spend time with my kids, sleep and started the cycle all over again. This went on for eight more years before I told myself it was enough.

By this time, Nina and I were practically strangers. We would talk only when we had guests or when we were with family and friends but when it was just us, there was nothing. This time, I filed it before telling Nina and once again, she broke down but I was adamant in my decision. I got an earful from my parents but unlike my first marriage, I really did try to make this one work and felt that divorce was the last resort.

By the time my divorce was finalised, I had moved out and was staying in my apartment. I focused on work and rebuilding my life. My only joy was my kids, whom I got to see on weekends. When news broke out on my second failed marriage, Buffy reached out to me. We were still good friends but staying in touch was slightly difficult as we were both busy with life. She herself had two kids, Dawn and Connor. Our kids are about the same age and had been on play dates a few times.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

I sighed into my mobile phone and answered, "I'll be alright".

"I'm sorry"

"You don't have to be. Things just didn't work between us. It hasn't worked for a long time but we tried to hang on until we couldn't."

"How's Liam and Kathy? How are they taking it?"

"I really don't know…I mean, it seems like they're taking it in stride but what's in their heart, I don't know and it worries me."

"Did you try talking to them?"

"Yeah, I asked if they know what happened between Nina and me and they said they do. Honestly, I'm just winging it. I've been reading books on this, on what to say to them or how to make this transition easier for them but it's hard."

"I guess now you just need to make sure that you're there when they need you. Make them understand while Nina and you are over, you're still there for them, you're still their father."

"You're right."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"I mean, you're reading books on how to help your kids deal but what about you? How are you dealing?"

I smiled a little, suddenly realizing how much I miss her.

"Right now, I'm just taking it a day at a time. Eventually with time, it will get better".

"I know I haven't been a good friend for some time and life got in the way but I want you to know that if you need someone just to talk, or if you need anything at all, I'm always here for you Angel".

I felt a pang in my heart and recalled that at one point in my life, I had feelings for her. She was so warm and caring.

"I know. Thanks."

"I gotta go. I need to pick Connor up from school. Maybe, we could meet for a meal soon."

"Sure. I'd like that."

"Take care Angel."

"You too."

We hung up and I grinned.