One
Negative × Negative = Positive
x
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The concrete, heated by the sun, itched beneath her soles as she walked down the street. But Ran was not in any hurry— not anymore. She had given up on running after him a long time ago.
'Shinichi…'
The high school student let out a soft sigh, her hair brushing her shoulders while the spring sun gently warmed her skin. The daylight was so bright she could barely see the blue sky at all.
Ran found it hard to swallow; the lump in her throat betrayed her inner turmoil as she closed her eyes, watching the colorful afterimages of the sun dance behind her eyelids.
Two weeks had passed since he had returned. He sat at his old desk in the classroom, he did not disappear after class, and was back again the next day. But something was still missing…
He was missing.
Ran pressed her school pack closer to her chest as she walked towards her home. The "case" Shinichi had been working on was finally over, and had turned out to be not just one simple crime, but a whole criminal organization that he had helped to take down. Of course the press had been going crazy about him— the "Sherlock Homes of the new century", as he had been dubbed. It was through her dad's favorite newscaster that she had found out; she could still remember what she had cooked that night, and how a bit of her dinner had gotten stuck in her throat once the news made it through the different channels.
He himself had not told her about it.
Never.
When the whole extent and depth of the organization had been revealed on the news, her feelings churned into a maelstrom of confusion in her heart.
Betrayal - Why hadn't he told her anything?
Understanding - Therefore, all those secrets.
But most of all…
Fear.
She could have lost him, so often, so fast, without her even knowing where to look for him.
He simply would have simply disappeared.
Her fingers searched for her mobile, typing in his number before her mind was able to realize she had entered them incorrectly. The dial tone of the empty line ringing steadily in her ears was the last thing she remembered. The panic had simply deleted her memory.
Only her dad had been able to make her understand that she had been sitting on the silent phone, screaming, cursing, and crying… though he did not know what to do with his daughter's reaction. He had tried to get a hold of Megure that evening, to get at least some information about the wannabe detective.
Ran remembered that, when Megure finally told them that Shinichi was fine, her heart had skipped several beats. Anger and fear left her soul with a warm shudder of pure relief, which finally brought her right into Morpheus' awaiting arms.
The next days had been full of worry, hope and waiting, for her classmates and reporters asked her, of all people, about his whereabouts.
She had sent more messages to his mailbox than she could count, and had bothered a slightly annoyed Megure who could only tell her that he was all right yet again. Nothing more.
Nothing had happened…
Until one day he simply was back again, slipping into class a little late before taking his seat as though the past one and a half years had never exist.
But for those who had been able to take a closer look at him they could tell that that was not true. For Ran, it was not the obvious things like the little bit he had grown, his thinner figure, his paler face, the well-hidden wounds, or the slight limp that gave him away… it was his eyes.
His eyes told her of the time in between.
A time between the Shinichi Kudo she had known and… him.
His gaze still sent shivers down her spine, but in this first moment in the classroom while she simply gaped at him in silence, was the point at which she recognized that something about him was off… because Shinichi never met her eyes.
His gaze traveled between his desk and the board, as it did today. He was definitely avoiding her.
Ran swallowed, tucking a strand of her hazelnut-brown hair back behind her ear while she waited for the pedestrian lights to turn green so she could move on.
He avoided being alone with her as best as he could: of course he talked to her, but Ran could not ignore the fact that if felt like he was doing so more out of courtesy than any real interest. At first she had thought that he was acting like that because of the case— maybe he had been through too much, and so he simply did not want to talk about. But as time had passed, it grew more and more difficult for her to hold back her questions, and the more she asked the less receptive he became.
He did not shout at her— never would, but his voice and his manner made it clear that he did not want to talk about it— and even less so to her.
Shinichi was always the first one to leave school after class. Apparently he had found a shortcut, to be able to leave her behind even with his limp, making it even more obvious to that he did not want her near him.
Ran took a deep breath, the pain in her chest making the simple deed nearly impossible. All of this felt so wrong.
He could not look her in the eye, and ignored and avoided her. Shinichi seemed to pretend as though London had never happened.
That he never told her…
'Oh, quit it already.' The high schooler sighed and shook her head to get rid of the past memories. She had talked to Sonoko about it; maybe she had wronged him in some way, or maybe she was just making things up- because she simply did not know what to do with him, now that he was back. At least it was possible that her mind was playing tricks on her.
Her best friend's meaning, of course, was completely different. Sonoko had found Shinichi was to blame: "The case might just clouded his mind," and, "You always were too good for him anyway," had been just a few of her statements about their situation. The supposed-to-be "best idea" the blonde had come up with was to get a date for her to wind him up. Ran, on the other hand, was not entirely pleased with the idea. Shinichi looked as though someone had hurt him and the last thing she wanted was to make it worse… that was, if he would ever be interested anyway.
A bright peal of laughter made her stop in her tracks, and her eyes wandered to the playground she always passed on her way home. A group of grade schoolers climbed all over the colorful construct, beaming with joy.
Her lips arced into a small smile, like a ghost from the past, before she carefully mouthed his name.
Conan.
She never thought that she would miss her "little brother" that much, but the truth was that she wanted nothing more than to see him right now. It shamed her to admit that her heart called out for the little boy, since her worries were nothing to talk about with a grade schooler. He was back with his parents, and she knew she should be happy for him for all that mattered. However, it was Conan who had always listened to her, who sometimes even gave her the best advice depending on her worries. Compared to Sonoko, he had always listened to her in quiet peace before he spoke to her in his childish manner that only revealed his true wisdom to the people who listened well enough. Like a wise monk who covered the truth in riddles and rhymes, Conan carefully gave his answer so that only someone who wanted to follow him could hear what he really meant behind his cheerful behavior.
Ran chuckled, shaking her head in amusement before her gaze drifted back to the grade schoolers.
'Maybe that was just my imagination. He's a child after all, and I bet he didn't know what I was talking about half of the time anyway.'
Still, her heart grew heavy when she thought about him. She should be happy that he was able to be with his parents again, like every child his age should, but she still wished for him to be at her side right now. Because any time Conan was nearby, it felt like a small part of Shinichi also walked beside her.
Right now, she missed the both of them.
Right now… she was alone.
He let himself fall against the front door with a heavy sigh, the throbbing in his leg matching his heartbeat. He was lucky that he knew Tokyo inside and out, while Ran easily got lost in the winding passages of the city.
But as time passed it became easier to lose her, because maybe she was slowly beginning to give up on following him. Was slowly giving up on him.
'It's for the best…' But the thought alone left a nasty taste on his lips, revealing to his mind that another part of his body was not happy with his "great plan". 'It's better that way… for everyone.'
Shinichi shook his head, pushing his body from the door to drag himself over to the library where he crashed heavily into his father's chair to enjoy the peace and silence between the walls of paper. The smell of the printed works tickled his nose; he took a deep breath, trying to clean his mind. But the smell of truth and justice of the mystery novels surrounding him only brought back bitter distaste on his tongue.
The truth…
The detective swallowed, digging his fingers deeper in the armchair of his seat. He had once believed that once the organization was brought down, he would be able to tell her.
Everything.
But things had changed.
He had changed.
Hattori and Shiho, like all the others, had only shaken their heads at his behavior, through no one dared disagree. Shinichi Kudo—the one they knew and the one Ran had been waiting for— was gone.
Ran had not known how close they had been to capturing her, and if Shinichi had his way, she would never know. It was true that the black shadows that had darkened his life were finally imprisoned due to the help of the FBI, but Shinichi knew that the organization would not be the last danger he could get her into. To be near to her again would not only mean danger for her, but also for him coming to terms with his lies— and that thought scared him even more. The whole "Conan" thing would only open up old wounds, which quite possibly would never heal. And even if she was able to forgive him for all that he had done, he was not sure if he could do the same…
Too many things had happened in the past and new danger had always been easy for him to find. The past year and a half battling the organization had shown him that much.
The danger would never leave his life… so maybe his feelings for Ran had to change.
'Maybe Holmes was right after all…'
He could not put her through that. He could not burden her with all the pain that would come with the knowledge about what had happened in the past weeks and years. What sense did it make for him to have protected her all this time just so that he himself could hurt her now?
Why should he?
Shinichi felt empty. The purpose he had clung to all this time seemed to have vanished, and alongside it the hoped for change his victory would bring. He might have defeated the black organization, but this win had cost him.
The biggest threat the world posed for Ran now was nothing more than himself…
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An icy wind tickled her skin and raised the small hairs on her neck as she stopped at the detective agency. Her dad was not home but gambling at his weekly mahjong appointment. Since Conan had left, the luck of the sleeping detective seemed to have vanished as well. Of course, her father would never admit that the rising beer can tower had anything to do with the missing brat. Without him and Conan the apartment felt empty, and to be honest, right now she did not know how much longer she could bear this loneliness.
'Pull yourself together Ran, there's no point in standing here waiting for a miracle to occur!'
She took a deep breath before taking the first steps up to their apartment. She dug her keys out of her school bag, stopping at their mailbox. The keys jingled in her hand, creating a far too happy melody for her ears while the charm Shinichi had given to her in middle school grinned its cheeky plastic smile.
A lonely letter between various promotional fliers caught her attention. Ran frowned once she noticed the name on the cover, along with the lack of a stamp.
'Mori Ran'
The letter was addressed to her.
Ran left her bag on the floor and used her key as a makeshift letter opener in order to withdraw a neatly written note. But her racing pulse slowed once she realized that it was not his handwriting.
Instead, a feminine script greeted her on the little sheet of paper. Her breath caught in her throat as she hastily red the few lines before her eyes rested on the signature.
'Meet me today at 5 p.m. at the Kichiro Bridge in Beika Park, if you're searching for answers.
Shiho Miyano'
Miyano… Miyano Shiho.
She recognized the name. A young woman, with strawberry blonde hair that framed her pale cheeks came to mind. She was living with the Professor right now, helping him here and there. Ran thought that she recognized the heroic woman from a picture of Mitsuhiko's. She had rescued the Detective Boys once, but Shiho had quickly dispelled her suspicions. Ran guessed that she might be related to Ai, who had left the Professor a little while ago to live with some distant relative. Shiho was always there when Ran visited the old inventor and neighbor of Shinichi's, always full of hope that the man might be able to explain her best friend's strange behavior.
But the old man always tortured her with a sad smile, shaking his head with a sigh.
"He has gone through a lot, Ran."
These words only stabbed needles through her heart. If Shinichi was in such a bad condition, why would he not let her help him? Why was he shutting her out, when he needed her the most?
'Because he doesn't want you.'
Ran swallowed, shaking the thought off. Of course she had overheard her conversations with the Professor…
Admittedly, Shiho had always been polite enough to give them some space, but her eyes had made it clear that she had a good idea about what was going on. The answers she was referring to in her letters could only mean that this was about him.
x
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Ran carried herself soundlessly through the narrow pathways of the park. The slowly setting sun squeezed itself through Tokyo's skyscrapers to lighten the sky with its golden rays. But the cherry trees she passed were all withered, and the once-pink blossoms gathered in piles in every crevice they could find. Their color was fading from pink to a rusty brown, giving the atmosphere a more ghostly than friendly touch. She swallowed, buttoning the bottom of her jacket as she tried to ignore the images the rust-red puddles evoked in her memories, instead looking for her appointment.
Shiho was waiting on the bridge, as promised. Her red hair danced playfully in the cold wind while her eyes studied the little stream beneath her feet.
The high schooler took a deep breath before she approached the woman, each step making a hollow sound on the wooden bridge. Shiho's gaze drifted to her before it searched the burbling stream again.
Ran swallowed, but held her tongue, taking the last step towards her and carefully leaning herself on the handrail. The golden light reflecting off the water shimmered on the faces of the women, energetically illuminating their features.
Silence stretched between them for a while, so that the only sound that filled their ears was the gurgling of the water until Shiho's quiet voice ripped her out of her thoughts. Ran looked at her, but the red head still avoided her gaze.
"You know… I never thanked you."
"Huh?" Ran blinked, looking at her even more confusedly now.
Shiho sighed, finally turning to face her, but her eyes still stared at the floor.
"That time when you jumped in front of me. You saved me back then, when Chris Vineyard had tried to shoot me."
A cold shiver ran down her spine. 'What?' Ran's eyes grew large, and it felt like a cold hand was choking her.
But Shiho didn't give her any time to ask her question aloud, as she continued to speak while her eyes twitched from side to side, as though she lived through the scene anew.
"There was no reason for you to do that… You could have stayed in the trunk, safe. But you saved me." The chemist swallowed, her dry throat itching while her brain remembered the smell of the dusty street beneath them. She could still recount the exact number of bullets from back then and how it felt to be protected by her.
Shiho suppressed a sigh, combing back a strand of her red-blonde hair.
"Just endure a bit more…" She quoted Ran's words form back then barely loud enough for her to hear.
"And I did." A knowing smile formed itself on her lips, and she finally was able to look up.
"Thank you."
Ran was not able to move, her heart was hammering in her chest like it would burst any minute now while her mind had already caught what she just heard, making her eyes burn with hidden tears. She gasped for air when the next moment the figure of Shiho blurred before her eyes, leaving a much more familiar face behind.
"Ai…"
The grade schooler gave her a fragile smile, the smile fading away as she watched the woman Shinichi loved pale and sway precariously with each realization.
"I don't think I have to explain much more to you," Shiho sighed, averting her gaze to the stream once more, its contents much less salty.
"He never meant to hurt you. He's gone through so much just to keep you safe… and he's still doing it. But he's going to make mistakes, Ran." The chemist swallowed and looked up to her one last time.
"Please… take care of him."
x
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Her breath felt like fire in her lungs; she had run the whole way from the park. She did not stop running once her shock paralysis had dissipated and had left Shiho-Ai at the park. The chemist had simply stood there waiting for her reaction while steadying her with her gaze, which she had really needed in those initial seconds. She had not called after her, nor tried to stop her when she had run away. As a result, Ran had not seen the ghost of a smile that stole across her lips.
The high schooler gasped for air and her heart beat like thunder in her ears, but Ran could not care less. The dust of the city covered her face and revealed the path of her tears as she pressed his doorbell for the third time, waiting…
With a rustling tone of the intercom system, the house suddenly became alive.
She eagerly listened to the cracking noise until his voice came out of the speaker.
"Hello?"
Ran tried to swallow, her throat suddenly dry. It was not the first time she had stood here in front of the closed doors trying to get him to open up rather moderate success. She knew quite well what his reaction would be. She did not say anything besides whispering his name.
"Shinichi."
She could hear him falter, clearly recognizing her voice. A little rustling noise from the speaker conveyed his sigh, and she could almost see him right before her eyes. Tired features, the handset pressed to his ear as he brushed a hand through his hair in annoyance.
"Ran? What do you want?"
"To talk to you." Her tongue seemed to be glued to her gums. Ran could hear how he swallowed while he tried not to sound too harsh, but his words hurt her either way.
"Fine, but I don't want to. You should know that by now."
Ran closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to ignore his impossible behavior; instead, she tried to understand why he was acting like that, only softening her tone a little more.
"Shinichi…"
"No, Ran. Please… go." His anger faded by the end of his sentence; his voice instead held a begging, nearly pleading tone that made her heart ache.
"Leave."
She tried one last time, but his voice blocked her immediately.
"Please Shinichi, I—"
"Go away Ran!"
His anger rubbed onto her; he was not the only one who could be stubborn and he should know that by now.
"No, not this time Shinichi. I`ll stay." She could hear him huff. It would not take much for him to throw the handset back on the hook.
"Fine, stay. But outside."
That was it.
"Edogawa Conan, youopen this door immediately!"
"…."
Silence was following her fierce voice. Nothing but the rustling of the intercom, her own heartbeat, and the quiet between them, which seemed to loom louder than everything else.
She waited.
Had she gone too far? Her tongue had been faster than her brain for once. She had instinctively used the authority she had held over Conan for the past two years with the hope of metaphorically breaking through Shinichi's thick skull.
He obviously did not want to tell her, so what if she had just driven him away further? The anger bled from her bones with every passing second, leaving her hollow and fragile. 'Shinichi, please…'
The near-silent crack of the lock caused Ran to twitch; the door opened just wide enough to frame his form in the created space. Their eyes met, and his gaze pierced a nail straight into her heart.
She stood before of a ghost. Whatever had been left of Kudo Shinichi was now looking at her with terror in his empty blue eyes.
"Ran…"
His hand clutched his throat as he wondered about his suddenly raspy voice. He could feel her eyes on his skin as he took a step aside to let her in. She passed him, moving on until she stopped in the living room before he followed and invited her to sit down while he himself kept standing. It was Ran who could not bear the silence any longer—before he was able to prepare what he wanted to say.
"I—I'm sorry Shinichi. At the door—I didn't want to…" The high schooler paused, closing her eyes to take a deep breath before she spoke again.
"Shiho told me." Ran swallowed, looking up at him with so many questions in her eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me? It's over, right? You could have told me, but… you didn't. Why?"
Her pleading tone was like a knife to his gut. She was here, willing to talk to him, to understand, while he had spent the past weeks being the biggest jerk in the country. Shinichi swallowed, unable to look at her again.
"Because… I didn't want to."
"Why?"
Her voice demanded his attention, and he could not refuse to look at her this time—even when the hope, love, and hurt in her blue eyes tore him apart. "Please believe me Ran, it was better this way." Shinichi sighed, letting himself sink into the cold embrace of the leather couch beside her.
"You really don't want to know…"
Ran swallowed; she saw how his face lost more of its color before she carefully laid her hand on his knee, catching his attention again as he looked at her with feverishly glinting eyes.
"Maybe you're right Shinichi but… I have to know." She paused, but her gaze never wavered, steadying him for the moment.
"What happened?"
x
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Of course, Conan's story was not enough for her.
Ran wanted to know everything.
So he told her.
How he had been able to get a hold onto the organization with the help of the FBI, how they planned everything until they caught him. One argument had been enough to bend him to their will, at least at first. Only now, Ran recognized the meaning of the sudden holidays Masumi had invited her to. Why her mobile would vanish and why the phones in the hotels would not function as well.
Shinichi remembered angry voices behind closed doors that had sent a relieved shiver down his spine when he knew that she was safe. They would not find her.
The organization, however had simply switched to other methods.
He swallowed, grasping at his dry throat as he listened to the deep silence his story had left between them. His eyes had never left her, and watching her reaction was far worse than any torture.
Her anger and disappointment when he had talked about his time as Conan had changed into fear, unease, and far worse: pity. Shinichi would have rather borne her anger, wished that she would scream at him, left her footprint in his gut, anything… anything else than this horrible silence.
Far more than Conan's lies and her abused trust stood between them now; it was the truth itself… which seemed to open up a deep, yawing canyon.
A hollow sigh escaped his lips, and his shivering fingers curled into a useless fist in his lap.
"I'll never be able to make it up to you …" He looked up again and she caught his gaze with her eyes— eyes like a deep blue lake that had burst its banks far too often, all because of him.
Shinichi swallowed, a nasty taste glued to his tongue. He hated himself because of what he had done to her… perhaps hated himself even more than he loved her. Trying to ignore this thought, he pressed it back into the dark corners of his mind, where it would later haunt him in his dreams before he tried to speak again with a broken voice.
"I'll never be able to protect you… I wasn't able to protect you from Conan, from my lies…"
' …And almost from the organization.'
He looked up again, his pale face looking sick and waxy, but Ran's eyes never left his.
"Not from the truth… But I can protect you from this life Ran."
'From me.'
The words did not pass his lips, but Ran knew exactly where his thoughts were wandering off towards. Shinichi was a detective and his work would always bring danger, not just to him, but her as well.
"You don't have to." Ran's voice alone made his heart beat fasten.
'Ran…'
His lips twitched into a sad smile.
"Maybe you're right… but I don't know if I can. I don't even know if I still want to…"
Love.
Was it really worth it?
It had only made him vulnerable and had hurt her. This feeling had caused him nothing but pain and suffering. Was it not logical to simply let it pass? To forget about it?
The frail word hovered unsaid between them, making the air heavy and hard to breath.
Shinichi sighed and shook his head.
'Love…'
"I fear on that score I now reached a negative one."
His voice sounded blunt and hollow; even his own hurt could not stick to his words. Ran did not need to remember his words in London to know what he was talking about. In the past, time had caused her to lose her goal, and the path they were currently walking on did not seem to lead them towards a future in which they shared.
An icy feeling numbed her fingertips, deepening the feeling of guilt in her body. His pale face had gained new shadows like dark wounds that Ran now understood, but still refused to think about. They were sitting close enough on the couch that she could feel the warmth of his body, and yet still there was a deep abyss between them that seemed to drag everything into its darkness. She swallowed. She knew why he lied to her now, but somehow knowing that he had been right beside her watching her hurt in silence still ached deep in her heart.
On the other hand, she had been the reason that the organization had had an easy job with him. She was the very reason of his misery right now. Tears began to well up in her eyes.
He had caused her pain, and she his wounds.
'Where will we end up, Shinichi? Where did this path bring us?' She took a shuddering breath as her heart spoke before her mind could gather control of her lips.
"It seems that applies to both of us…"
'…negative one.'
Her own words cause Ran to shiver. Too much had happened. Far too much.
Love is zero.
The words of the tennis-star echoed hollow in her memories. They were not at zero. No longer at the start like Shinichi had described it, but somehow at the end instead.
The feelings and emotions drained from her body, leaving her hollow, numb, and empty. Ran shivered and Shinichi saw it. He did not ask for permission but simply put his arm around her shoulders, holding her closer to himself so that her head could rest on his shoulder.
But they were not able to keep each other warm. Neither of them was able to feel anything.
They had not been that close in a long time, but at this very moment, they seemed to be further apart than ever, unable to feel each other's touch.
They were alone.
Ran swallowed, thankful that his arm around her helped her to get a grip on reality. That was what he had been fighting for? That was what she had been waiting so long for?
She did not want to believe it. After everything they— he had been through, should that be it?
'Shinichi…'
Her eyes wandered from his face to his leg. Now, she knew that beneath the fabric of his blue jeans was a splint, which steadied his bones where muscles had been supposed to do the job. Now, she knew why he limped, and she wished for nothing more than to be able to forget it again.
Ran swallowed and buried her fingers deeper into his jacket. Maybe it was stupid to think about it, but of all things she would miss the most was his tired but triumphant face: the smile on his dirty face when his team would win the match after a hard game of soccer.
Because Shinichi would never be able to win again.
He would never play again.
Never run after a culprit.
Never be the first at the crime scene.
Because he could not.
They had cut this part of his life out. The organization had managed to make him vulnerable. Broken.
But even so, he still had managed to run away from her, had endured the pain it caused him to lose her in the streets so that he could lock himself in here. All to protect her from what she might see… To protect her from this.
He was right.
One look into his eyes told her so. He did not wallow in self-pity and fear, but was telling the truth, for the first time, after such a long time.
Shinichi— her Shinichi, whom she had been waiting for, had ceased to exist. A stranger now sat beside her, held her close. A stranger… whom she still loved?
Ran swallowed, biting her own lips so that her teeth left a white, bloodless line behind like a scar that soon would heal.
Negative one, zero… numbers and dates.
A bitter smile flashed over her features. Who had come to the idea that something as fragile as love could be calculated with logic, numbers, and facts?
Twice times a negative… what could result in that anyw-
Rans glassy eyes suddenly grew when her pulse began to race. It felt as though someone had wound up a musical clock, like her heart had been standing still and only just now had begun to work again, humming a melody in its still irregular rhythm.
"One…"
The word had been barely more than a whisper, but still grabbed his attention. Shinichi looked at her skeptically, taking his hand from her shoulder to look really at her, but Ran did not react.
"A negative multiplied by a negative is positive."
The soft smile on Ran's lips, along with her whispered words made his heart skip a few beats, but even being a detective and all Shinichi was not able to understand what was going through the mind of the woman at his side.
"What?"
The unusual unease in his voice caused Ran to finally look at him. Her hand searched for his, and she enjoyed the tingling in her fingertips once she felt his warmth. It was like her whole body was slowly warming up again. She had endured so much, and yet still they were sitting here together.
They were still here.
Was that not proof enough about how they felt? Where they really stood, and damn the scale?
The questioning look in his face amused and frightened her alike. For once, her clever detective had no idea. And yet it was so important for him to understand. He needed to know that they had been wrong, both of them. If he could not nurture this little spark of hope, then—
He had to understand.
Ran swallowed before she touched his hand with shivering fingers, feeling his muscles twitch beneath her skin.
"Don't you understand Shinichi? Whatever had happened wasn't able to tear us apart. We've moved on … we're no longer at zero."
It took him a moment before his brain was able to follow the mathematical rules and even longer to understand what Ran's heart had made out of the formula. "Ran…" His voice was dry and raspy in comparison to her clear words. A gleam of hope grew inside him, but her still red eyes darkened his smile again.
Shinichi's features hardened, a bitter taste crawled up his throat and caused his voice to be harsh and cold. "At what cost Ran?" He swallowed, shaking his head in defense.
"We… you shouldn't—" But she interrupted him.
"Shinichi." She brushed his temple and let her hand rest on his cheek. He could not avoid looking at her any longer, sinking deep into her blue eyes, which carried more hope that he even could understand.
"You were there… all this time. I know that now. All those things I liked about Conan belong to you as well. I know the Shinichi before the Organization happened and I'll get to know you now. We change, Shinichi… that's the only way for us to grow."
Ran swallowed while a soft red color flushed her cheeks. Her fingers glided from his cheek into his own hand, weaving her fingers into his.
'Finally…'
They fit into each other again. But her smile still could not reach him.
He could not stop looking at her. How could she be that strong? How was she able to gain hope out of their situation?
'How, Ran?'
Shinichi didn't know. But what he knew was that her strength, courage, and hope were the reason he was still alive. The reason he fell in love with her… still loved her.
'Ran…'
He knew she was right. After all, he could read it from the slight twitch of her nose when she disliked something. He saw things some people would not to catch—even Ran might not know of them sometimes, but he loved details. They filled a part of himself, fitted together like a piece of a puzzle. His fear seemed to fade behind her hope. Maybe it was worth it to risk a few puzzle pieces to get a glimpse of the whole picture.
A warm shiver ran down his spine once she began to speak again. Her smile was still fragile, but her eyes told him wwhat her mouth still struggled to voice. "It's true that we've been through a lot. And maybe you're right, and we both lost ourselves on the way, but… we've found something else instead Shinichi. We found us." Tears threatened to break through again for a second, but Ran simply hardened her gaze just like the karate champion she was, ready to fight. "And if it's necessary to fight to be by your side, I'm ready to bear everything that will get in our way."
Her words hung in the air like a declaration of war, made him blink before her cheeks turned pink once she realized what she had implied—that she had spoken for the both of them. Ran swallowed, avoiding his gaze while her voice suddenly shivered again. "
I—Of course, that's if you want to… I mean—"
But Ran could not say anything further. She felt his fingers in her hair, noticed a soft tingle on her neck before their lips finally met.
He kissed her.
Ran closed her eyes; she could feel Shinichi's lips on hers, his face so close that she could feel the warmth radiating from his skin.
He kissed her!
A firework burst within her, colorful sparks of feelings and emotions making every hair on her neck stand on end.
The moment passed, but did not seem to be over. His lips left hers, but the happiness in her veins stayed, conjuring a bright smile on her face. That smile he had been waiting for too long to see.
"I love you, Ran." The soft taste of her lips accompanied his words.
"I love you too." Her voice touched his ears and made his heart skip a beat. He nearly lost himself in her eyes, and he treasured the words he had thought that he would never hear.
But that was not quite true. Shinichi swallowed, but was not able to hide the grin on his lips once the memory of his first day as Conan crossed in his mind.
"I know."
Rans cheeks darkened; she knew exactly what he was talking about and grimaced.
"Idiot!"
He could only laugh about it and pulled her back into the soft leather that embraced them with warm arms this time. But his smile satisfied her for now, and she simply enjoyed having him by her side. She leaned her head against his chest, listening to the soft beating of his heart.
They were together.
'One…' An appreciative sigh escaped her lips as she lost sense of time. The moment could have lasted forever, so she did not know how much time had passed until he cleared his throat. His tone sounded doubting, maybe even hidden with sarcasm while his fingertips drew little circles on the back of her hand.
"You already know that your logic is completely ridiculous, right?"
A cheeky smile crossed her lips; she didn't even look up to him while she enjoyed the tone of his voice.
"That's Holmes logic, not mine."
Shinichi could only smirk at the slightly peeved tone of his girlfriend while he softly brushed a strand of her hair out of her face.
"Well if that's the case, I would never doubt it." She looked up to him and caught his amused smile while he shook his head.
'You're simply incredible…'
Shinichi kissed her temple with a soft sigh, taking a deep breath of her fruit-scented shampoo.
His eyes wandered across the room, observing the little specks of dust, which danced in the last rays of the sun. He did not know how she had managed to turn everything around so fast. Her presence had helped him so much and healed wounds from which he had believed would never stop hurting. But even her hope was not able to cast away his fears. Her calculation might work for the moment, but what if—one day there was only one negative left?
"Shinichi?"
Her questioning look scared the shadows from his face. Maybe she was right; maybe their shared luck was worth taking the risk. Who knew what the future held for them? She was here, now, right beside him, that was all that counted right now. So what right did he have to leave now?
Especially since he did not know how long the peace between them would last before a new case caused new dark clouds to grow in the sky. If they had to fight for their love, then it should be worth it—and besides, they already had much catching up to do.
Ran watched how his features changed, but she was not sure if she liked his bright smile and smug tone better than his creased eyebrows.
"So all in all, we've got a 'one' now right? Well- then let's see how far we'll go."
"Shinichi!"
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Hey everybody!
So that´s it my first try to translate one of my Fanfictions into another language.
I really hope you like it ^^,
I know it´s not a super fluffy romantic story- don´t get me wrong, I do like romance and I'm a big fan of Ran x Shinichi but I´m not the fluffy kind of person.
Ah, whatever ^^, I hope you enjoyed reading.
My heartful thanks goes to the lovely Taliya, who worked really hard on this story to get rid of all my mistakes and corrected a few of my sentences. I couldn´t publish it without her!
Well... A little comment would REALLY be helpful!
If you like the story I´m willing to publish some more in the near future.
Till later then!
Shelling ~