Chapter 78:
It was a couple of hours before Mr Weasley's funeral, and though Harry knew intellectually that he should probably be with the Weasley's, he was sitting with Tom by the window overlooking London.
It seemed to be Tom's favourite spot in the house.
His black suit felt stiff and claustrophobic, an his tie was choking him. Tom was quiet too, subdued from the conversation with the Horcrux two nights back.
Neither of them had worn the Locket since, but they kept it close nonetheless.
"Tom, you know we'd still be able to see what's in the remembrall, if you wanted," he said, not knowing the words were going to be released from his tongue until they hung in the silence between them.
Tom's head angled in his direction, making Harry quickly continue.
"We could work around whatever the 'tragedy' is, together," he said.
Tom's lip curled upwards slightly, but his gaze was intense, and Harry got the feeling that he was being searched for something. He kept still, staring back curiously, social norms damned a long time ago.
"Stubborn," Tom murmured, eyeing him. Harry smiled, just slightly.
"You've said that before," he replied. Tom was quiet for a moment.
"Do you believe in Alternate Universes?" he asked, suddenly.
Harry frowned, some instinct warning him of this conversation, though his mind could scarcely fathom as to why.
"Y-" he began to give his affirmative, automatically, after all, if time travel was possible, so must be Alternate Universes…but then he stopped. His mind flashed back to Third Year, the time turner, and everything that happened. That had been indicative of only one time stream.
The sense of bad was growing in his chest.
"I don't," Tom offered quietly, as if sensing the 'no' in his lack of response. "There is only one time stream, that's why it has always been said that it is so dangerous to meddle with time…you could end up deleting yourself and your world from ever existing."
Harry swallowed. He was trying to change the past in a big way, he was trying to prevent Voldemort. He looked at Tom, sharply. The other leaned forwards slightly, seeming to somehow know when he'd reached his conclusion.
"If Voldemort never happens, this whole world, your whole life, will cease to exist," Tom continued. "Everything will be gone. The Weasley's, the Slytherins, the Death Eaters…everything will be changed for something new. You will die."
There was a relentlessness in Tom's tone now, a dangerous urgency that forced Harry's attention.
"None of this would ever have happened. We never meet as we are, now."
Harry bit his lip, meeting Tom's gaze squarely.
"So be it," he said weakly, "if the new world is better - it's not like I'd be able to tell the difference, would it?" he laughed, nervously.
"No," Tom said quietly, "but I would."
Harry couldn't tear his gaze away, for the life of him he couldn't, transfixed.
"Tom-" he began, helplessly.
"You are in denial that Voldemort and I could be the same person," Tom continued ruthlessly, cutting over him, "because you cannot bear the idea that he and I could ever be the same, that everything here would go to waste, that he cannot seem to remember any of it when you so clearly can and it hurts you, so you deny it, because you have to."
Harry clenched his fists, his jaw tight, breathing shallowly.
"You wouldn't let this whole country go to magical civil war just to keep-" he started.
"-I would let the whole world burn before I willingly let go of you and these memories," Tom said, no embellishments in his voice, nothing, just that dark gaze fixed on his with a deadly intensity. "You may have a hero-complex big enough to destroy yourself, but I'm shall we say less selflessly inclined…I'm a psychopath."
Harry's thoughts spun to Tom's definition and words, twisted in a thousand different ways and variations, essentially falling down to the simple cold fact that Tom put himself above everyone else, always. His breath caught in his throat as Tom smiled, humourlessly.
"I am the most selfish person you will ever meet Harry, don't fool yourself into thinking that I would ever destroy Voldemort when it simultaneously destroys you, even if I may be willing to otherwise let the persona go if you asked me to."
"Careful," Harry murmured, looking to relieve the suffocating tension in the room, "I might start getting the impression you're in love with me or something, with all these passionate declarations."
"No," Tom replied, flatly, "I just have an obsessive personality and I'm not disposed to let the only friend I've ever had not just murder himself, but wipe himself into total oblivion so he was never even real."
"And I could never watch you become Voldemort," Harry snapped, "especially not on my behalf. I hate him! You know that! I could never forgive you."
"Which, my dear," Tom said, dryly, bitterly, "is why this is a tragedy."
Harry felt sick, nausea bubbling in his stomach like a one of Neville's disastrous potions. He looked away, unable to hold that unyielding gaze any longer, letting his head fall into his hands to escape it.
"So what, you go back in time to become Voldemort because that's the only way I exist, as I am? In case you hadn't bloody well noticed, he - you - are trying to kill me anyway and don't give a damn -" Harry tore his hands out of his hair in frustration, glaring at Tom. "Forget it. I won't let you. I forbid it. You're not doing it. I'd rather die."
Tom stared at him, unmoved.
"And we're back to the fact that unlike you, I am quite selfish enough to let the whole world go to hell for this, whatever this is, because frankly the world sucks anyway and it really doesn't make much of a difference, and honestly, it's not like I have that much opposition to Voldemort's views."
"You don't," Harry growled, "but I do! Damn it, Tom, you do NOT get to choose this for me. I'd freaking shoot myself-"
"-And if you dare, I'd do it just to spite you," Tom said, irritation in his voice now. "You raging hypocrite, you're trying to ease your own guilt and life by making sure Voldemort never happens, but would begrudge me from doing the same."
"I'm not doing it for my guilt," Harry yelled, his temper past fraying point, "I'm doing it because I don't want to see someone I care about turn into a heartless, pathetic monster!"
Tom stared at him, frozen, before speaking, the harshness gone from his features to be replaced by something far more painful: fondness.
That uncharacteristic affection that screamed of the differences between Voldemort and Tom.
"Ever the hero, Harry. I should think you'd be at least somewhat appreciative of the fact that I'm saving your life, and more, your world, your friends lives too…but I suppose you always were on the self-destructive side."
"And I thought," Harry said, praying his voice wasn't choking up or something ridiculous, "that you had enough self preservation not to do something as "foolishly sentimental" as sacrificing yourself for a world on the brink of war, where I and many others are liable to die anyway, under your wand."
Tom stared at him quietly for a moment.
"It's just as well I'm still in this time until at least the end of this year, I have time to make sure you accept the necessity of this happening.
""It's just as well I have time to persuade you to change your mind. This isn't how the story ends."
Tom sighed, squeezing his shoulder as he brushed past.
"Go and find your friends, Harry. I have some errands to run, we can talk about this later."
A/N: I was going to put the funeral in this chapter too, but this seemed like a good place to stop. Thank you for the reviews, I am now going to go hide until I next surface with a chapter…and eek, i'm nervous that this is going to be completely...anticlimatic or something. I shall go skulk and do work like i was supposed to be doing this. In my defense, I wanted to know what happened...
FIC RECOMMENDATIONS :
I got asked lots for Dark!Twin!Harry fanfiction
Harry Has A Twin Who Is Wrongly Hailed As The Boy Who Lived, Harry is Ignored And Neglected By Their Parents And Goes Dark
Non-Slash Dark!Harry fic reccomendations, so….
For something unusual, Dark Cyan Stars "His Slytherin Descendents." A wrong sibling favoured fic, but not Boy Who Lived….
Wrong Boy who Lived community = /community/Wrong_BoyWhoLived/18135/
(I forget what I've read, unless it is was outstanding, but you should find something good here, some of the names ring strong bells…but I've heard Darkly Treacherous is supposed to be quite good…along with "One's most hated name")
Welcome To Hogwarts 1949 and in the Darkness binds them, both start 'light' as Harry gets darker, though they are WIP But they're excellent.
Out of the Night, by Raining Ink…dark, but side not certain I don't think…
The Weapon Revised! By QTuani7, on the light side, but definitely not light. ) Kurinoone's series, kinda…Harry is most definitely dark, but…
Time To Spare by EmySabath.
Lord of Caer Azkaban, I remember to be quite good, but not much else. I read it ages back, but yeah, if the name stuck in my head…
I've been told Dark as Night by Lavender Storm is good, though I can't remember if I've read it myself…
I forget what I've read, honestly, unless I found it truly exceptional and kept returning back to it, and I largely favour Slytherin Harry and grey Harry, not necessarily dark…I'll get back to you if I remember any more…or I any of you guys have some recommendations that I should offer out…