Dragon Moon Z! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: SM, R1/2, DBZ and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This story is a multi-genre story. C&C are welcome.
Special Note: This story is part of the SMST/TRT series, and is inspired by Team Four Star's Abridged Parody series.
Part 34: "Revenge of Cooler Saga"
It's been four months since Usagi returned from the planet Namek. Other than the incident involving Garlic Junior, life on Chikyuu has been quiet, so much so that when Bulma was able to track down Goku's last known location, Ranma Saotome and his wife Usagi Tsukino Saotome decided that it was time to leave the planet. After all, they did promise to bring Goku back…
In the mean time, one last outing between friends and family was called for…
"Man, I surprise that Chi-Chi is allowing you to go out with us…again," Krillin said, as he stirred a pot of stew on an open camp fire.
"Well, Mom said that as long as both Grandpa and Grandma are out here with me, and as long as Oolong is not around, I could go," Gohan said, as he read his text book. No matter what, Chi-Chi was determined to make sure that her only son was academically inclined…even on camping trips.
"Heh," Ranma said, as he continued to fish for food nearby.
"Well, Chi-Chi does have a point, you know," Usagi said, as she sipped on her homemade alcoholic beverage (called "mead"). "Besides, we can't always rely upon the Dragonballs to get ourselves out of a jam."
"She's right, you know," Ranma said, as he hefts some large tuna from out of the stream where the campsite was. "Especially since Shen Long doesn't like to see the same set of characters wishing the same freaking wishes every year…"
"Well, we shouldn't have to worry about anything other than Krillin's cooking," Usagi said.
"Bunny, I resent the implication of that remark," Krillin replied.
"Tough-"
"Wait," Gohan said, as he suddenly perked up. "I sense a presence…"
"Ranma?" Usagi said, as she suddenly stood up and looked around the area.
"Yeah, I sense that, too, babe," Ranma said, as he sits down his rod on hooks, which were planted near the firepit.
"Me, too!" Krillin said. "And it's huge! I haven't sense a power level sense we ran into Freeza-"
"You met my brother?" said a voice near the river.
All eyes turned towards a familiar sight, save for the height and skin color difference.
"What?" Usagi said in alarm, as she realized who this person was, even as three more individuals showed up to surround the campsite.
"Who ARE these guys?" Krillin said.
"And what are you doing here?" Gohan said.
"Ah, let me properly introduce myself," the apparent alien said. "My name is 'Cooler', and these are my associates who work for ME…"
Pause.
"And I am here to avenge my family's dishonor with your collective corpses," Cooler said. "Nothing personal."
"For the record, your brother killed a lot of people," Usagi said.
"And from your looks, you must be the Moon Princess, the one my baby sister Ice talked about," Cooler said.
"She's alive?"
"Yes. You did not kill her, and yet she was punished for failing to properly assist our brother's quest for the Dragonballs on old Namek."
"Whatever happened to Freeza?" Gohan asked. "I kind of had to leave the area after my father went 'Super Saiyan'."
"Thankfully, Ice was present to pick up what was left of Freeza, before making her escape to safety," Cooler said. "Now, my original plan was to destroy the one called Goku. However, from what I can tell, he is not on this planet, yes?"
"He's not," Ranma said evenly. "We plan on searching for him starting next week, rather than wait for his return."
"Good. Unfortunately for you all, Goku will be returning home to a dead world."
"Ha!" Krillin said. "Shows what YOU know! Just because Goku isn't here, that doesn't mean we're totally defenseless."
"Oh?"
"Bunny, like Goku, can transform into a 'Super-Saiyan', and we seen what happened to Frieza after Goku had gotten through with him."
"My, oh, my," Cooler said, as he turned his full attention towards Usagi. "I almost forgot about that little detail, especially after my sister Ice was debriefed."
"Nice going, idiot," Ranma said, before stepping forward. "It doesn't matter. I'll fight ya."
"I do not fight 'humans'; that is why have minions to do that for me," Cooler said. "At any rate, my first task is to make Goku pay for his sins, and what better way to give tribute to my fallen brother, but by tying the body of his mother to the bumper of my ship?"
"If you dare lay a hand on my wife, I'll-"
"Ranma, you, Gohan and Krillin deal with Cooler's henchmen," Usagi said.
"But-"
"Gohan needs protection more than either of us," Usagi said.
"Hey, what about me?" Krillin said.
"Oh, and Krillin, too. But the point is that I rather die knowing that Goku's legacy was assured…"
Pause.
"Besides, don't you want a challenge to test your new powers?" Usagi said.
Ranma merely smiles at his wife, as he nods his head. He then turned towards Gohan and Krillin.
"Krillin, you and Gohan go to Korin's Tower, and stay there until otherwise," Ranma said.
"But Grandpa!" Gohan said. "I want to fight!"
"I know, but I…I need this."
"Listen to your grandfather," Krillin said with a shrug. "Some people are just a glutton for punishment."
"Very funny, Krillin," Ranma said. He then turned towards Cooler's minions.
"You, freaks, let's give my wife and your boss some privacy."
"Ooo, kinky," said the handsome Souza in a French accent.
"Wait a minute," Krillin said. "Are you from 'Space France'?"
"Why, yes!" Souza said. "How did you know?"
"It's a lucky guess. Come on, Gohan."
"Coming," Gohan said, as he takes one last look at his grandparents, before taking off after Krillin…
"Good luck, babe," Ranma said, as he gives his wife a peck on the cheek. And then, he, too, leaves the area, with Cooler's minions in tow…
"I do hope you know that I do not relish striking a woman," Cooler said. "However, in this case, I will gladly make an exception."
"Well, how gentlemanly of you," Usagi said. "But before we do this, I need to change into my working clothes, if you don't mind."
"Fine, but make it quick. I have a busy schedule of mayhem ahead of me."
"Thanks. Crescent Moon Prism…MAKE UP!"
Within moments, Sailor Moon appeared. As always, Sailor Moon's newest outfit was styled to be combat ready, which is why she wore a form-fitting body suit rather than the traditional sailor fuku…
"I am Sailor Moon, champion of Love and Justice," Sailor Moon said. "And on behalf of the Moon, I shall punish you!"
"Nice show," Cooler said. "And by the way, this world does not have a moon."
"I know, but we're working on bringing it back," Sailor Moon said. "Now, let's do this!"
"Let's," Cooler said.
For what seemed to be an eternity, the two would-be combatants stared at each other…
A fish jumped out of the stream, seemingly signaling for the fight between Cooler and Sailor Moon to begin.
"Yahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Cooler and Sailor Moon yelled, as they rushed each other…
Meanwhile, the fight between Ranma and his henchmen began in earnest as well.
"Okay," Ranma said, as he faced his opponents. "I got this one. You're the pretty one, you're the strong one…and you're the one with the weird powers."
"I prefer to be handsome than pretty!" said the strong one, who went by the name "Doore". He spoke in an Australian accent.
"And my powers aren't weird!" said the handsome Souza.
"Quack!" said the strange-looking creature named "Neiz".
"And you're all stupid," Ranma said.
"You take that back!" Doore yelled.
"Heh. Make me."
"Yahhhhhhh!" Doore said, as he rushed Ranma. He threw a punch into Ranma's after image.
FWASH!
"Huh?" Doore replied.
"Ole!" Ranma said, as he elbows Doore in the head from above.
BAM!
"Yahhh-!"
"Quack!" Neiz yelled.
"Get him!" Souza replied. "Let's double-team this guy!"
"Sorry, but I don't go that way," Ranma said.
"Yah!" Souza yelled, as he and Neiz rushed Ranma. At the same time, Ranma expertly dodges the punches and jabs while delivering his own counters.
WAM!
BLAM!
BASH!
Ranma decided to change stratagems using a fake out, as he notices that Doore was about to return to fight.
"Moka Takabisha!" Ranma said, as he delivered a potent energy wave attack that nearly took Neiz's head off. However, Neiz merely retracted his head into his body.
PLUNK!
When the energy attack went past Neiz, he extended his head again.
FLOWMP!
"Quack!" Neiz said confidently.
"You fool!" Souza said, haven't caught on what Ranma was trying to do. He wasn't trying to aim for you!"
"Quack?"
Doore realizing too late as to what was happening, sees Ranma's attack.
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!" Doore said, as Ranma's attack engulfed the strong guy, knocking him out of the fight in the process.
BWOOOSH!
"Doore!" Souza yelled.
"QUACK!" Neiz yelled, as he began to charge up his powers, which appeared to be electrical in nature. "Quack!"
Ranma was suddenly caught up in Neiz's attack, receiving what appeared to be the shock of his life.
ZZZAAAARRRRRRKKKKKK-!
"Gah!" Ranma yelled.
"See?" Souza said confidently. "There are more of US than there are of YOU!"
"Actually, more like less of you and more of ME," Ranma said, as he used Energy and Lightning Bending to redirect Neiz attack away from himself and back to Neiz.
"Quack?"
ZZZZAAAAAARRRK!
"Neiz!" Souza said.
"And that leaves just you," Ranma said.
"Grrr! You'll have to catch me, first!"
Souza then went to ground for tree cover.
"Ah, hell naw!" Ranma said, as he gave chase. "You're not going to get away with it after all THIS!"
"Hehehehehehehehehe!" Souza said, as he flew into the forest with Ranma on his proverbial heels. He knew that things would be harder on Ranma if he used the trees for cover…
Meanwhile, the battle between Cooler and Sailor Moon rages on.
"Huh!" Sailor Moon said, as she performed a spin kick while she and Cooler were in the air.
BAM!
The Moon Princess then followed through with a reverse punch and an upper cut.
POW!
KRACK!
Sailor Moon was about to deliver a tumble axe kick, when Cooler caught her leg.
"Here, let's go for a swim," Cooler said, as he flings Sailor Moon into a nearby lake.
SPLASH!
As Sailor Moon surfaced, Cooler lands a nearby rock.
"Not bad," Cooler said, as Sailor Moon gets on her feet, by standing on another rock near a waterfall. "Your skills are indeed worthy. But remember, it is one thing to have skills…"
Suddenly, Cooler 'hulks-out', as he becomes massive. He now sported horns, red eyes and a face mask.
"…It is another to possess the power to back up those skills," Cooler said, as he spoke in a deeper voice.
"Huh, so, you have a transformation power," Sailor Moon said.
"But of course, my dear. And now, you will be the beneficiary of that transformation. YARRGH!"
Cooler moved faster than normal, as he rushed Sailor Moon's position.
"Yikes!" Sailor Moon said, as she moved faster than normal, as she took to the skies. Cooler did likewise, and punched Sailor Moon in the back, knocking her into the ground.
THOOM!
The Moon Prince gets up, only to have Cooler punch her in the stomach, and then driving her into a cliff.
THOOM!
"Uck!" Sailor Moon said.
He then picks up Sailor Moon by the neck with his other hand, slams her into the ground, and then blasts her across the ground and into the lake.
SKRRRREEEEE-THOOM!
"I find it curious that you have not fought back," Cooler said, as Sailor Moon rises from the lake. "Is that ALL that you got?"
"No," Sailor Moon said, as she initiated her own attack. "Lunar Beam BLAST!"
The immediate area was engulfed by a concentrated energy discharge.
"Oooh, nice," Cooler said, as he flew directly into the beam, and clocked the Moon Princess in the stomach.
"Oof!" Sailor Moon said, as she flew into a nearby cliff.
BAM!
This was followed by a power stomp by Cooler, driving Sailor Moon deeper into the cliff.
THOOM!
"Urk!"
"Look at you, gasping for air," Cooler said, as he backed off a bit. "But I will not let you die FIRST. Only when your planet is in ashes, will you be permitted to DIE."
"Heh," Sailor Moon said, as she began to laugh.
"I find it disturbing that you would be laughing at your predicament," Cooler said.
"Actually, I am laughing at yours," Sailor Moon said, as she removes herself from the cliff.
"Enlighten me," Cooler said.
"There is an old martial arts concept known as the 'Rope-A-Dope'," Sailor Moon said. "Basically, it's when one combatant takes a beaten from another, while one of two things happens. One, the combatant being beaten upon observes the techniques and strategies of his opponent. And, two, the combatant being beaten upon lets his or her opponent expend useless energy…"
Pause.
"And thanks to the beaten you gave me, you fulfilled both objectives," Sailor Moon said, as the air around her crackle with energy. "HA!"
Sailor Moon's battle aura exploded outward, causing Cooler to be blown away, even as Sailor Moon becomes Super Saiyan Sailor Moon…
"Ha!" Cooler chortled. "My brother may not be able to handle a 'Super Saiyan', but I am much more prepared to deal with the likes of YOU, my dear-!"
"Really, Cooler?" Super Saiyan Sailor Moon said, as she whispered into her opponent's ear.
"Huh?" Cooler said, as he was startled by the fact that the Moon Princess was using multiple after images to be in more than one place.
"So, give me your best shot, so I can end this," SS Sailor Moon replied.
"You end it?" Cooler said. "Never!"
Cooler delivered an energy attack that would have fell mountains in mere moments…
"What?" Cooler said in surprise, as SS Sailor Moon floated in the air unperturbed, albeit it barely covered up at this point, due to Cooler's attack.
"Really?" SS Sailor Moon said. "Why is it that I'm always fighting perverts?"
"I am NOT a pervert!"
"SURE you are. Now, if you don't mind, could you leave this planet? You're wasting your time at this point, you know."
"Leave, huh? Well, how can I leave a planet…that no longer exists?" Cooler said, as he creates a giant orange sphere. "Say good-bye to this world, you witch!"
And Cooler throws the ball of death at the Moon Princess, as she braces for the impact…
THOOOM!
"Now, let's see you get out this," Cooler said, as he sees if his opponent will be able to circumvent his latest attack…
FWOOOM!
Suddenly, the energy ball becomes smaller.
"What…is…happening?" Cooler said incredulously, as SS Sailor Moon rises to Cooler's eye-level. She was now guiding Cooler's attack, which was now the size of a tennis ball.
"Honestly, you guys rely too much on energy attacks," SS Sailor Moon said, as she dissipates Cooler's attack completely. "Even if I hadn't learned Energy Bending, there are other means to neutralize this attack of yours."
"No!" Cooler said. "I cannot be like my brother Freeza!"
"You can, if you are willing to walk away from this, like your sister Ice," SS Sailor Moon said.
"Humph," Cooler said, as he reverts back to his normal form. "I do not need to be patronized by you…"
Pause.
"But, perhaps, I am getting a bit rusty, where martial arts is concerned," Cooler said. "Of course, it is possible that being a part of a conquering space organization is a bit old hat these days…"
"Hey!" yelled Ranma, as he drops off the unconscious bodies of his opponents from the ground while looking up. "Are we done?"
"I think so," SS Sailor Moon replied, as she reverts back to her normal guise. She then tuned to face Cooler.
"You know, this Universe could always use more heroes, Cooler. There will always be megalomaniacs out there that need to be put down."
"Perhaps, I should look into that," Cooler said with a nod. "Consider what I say as an acceptance of your challenge, madam."
Sailor Moon merely nods her head.
"Now, if you can excuse me, I need to find some clothes," Sailor Moon said. "I don't mind going au natural, but a girl has to be aware of the perverts in this world…"
Fin.
Next Time: "The Android Saga"