Chapter VIII
It's just my soul responding to the heavy heart I'm holding.
And it's just my soul responding to the love you took from me.
~Just My Soul Responding by Amber Run
…
Four months later
Sonoran Desert, Arizona
Dust from the intense battle was still settling when back-up arrived. Rogue ran out to meet them, explained that the situation was under control, but the containment wasn't permanent. More re-enforcements poured in. SWORD erected a container and sent in their bravest and brightest. Only then could she surrender to the fatigue and starvation. Thankfully, her back-up had planned for this.
"Your team's been out here ten days," an agent commended. "Take a load off."
"With three days provisions," she crawled into a helicopter and chugged a bottle of water. Tearing into beef jerky, she checked her messages.
'We still on for dinner?' Remy had texted nearly two weeks ago. Then: 'Hill says you're out. Call when you land.' Lastly: 'I miss you. Can't sleep alone. Still got that extra toothbrush holder?'
Her heart skipped a beat. Was he serious about moving in? Truthfully, going home to him and sleeping in his arms sounded like heaven. She fired off a text and then called Raven. Prior to this mission, she and Raven had been working together to give the orphanage a big day at Grey. Rogue arranged for the press to cover it – another pro-mutant story never hurt public perception – and hoped Raven could handle them on her own.
"It was great!" Raven panted. "I emailed you some videos and the story published yesterday. They even talked about Samuel's suit!"
"Where are you?"
"Rachel and I are at the park. Everyone keeps stopping me, thinking I'm you! Isn't that funny?"
"Should Ah call you back?"
"Don't be silly. How was the mission? Coming home soon?"
"Wrappin' it up now. Remy and Ah have plans tonight but Ah'd like to see you tomorrow." She reigned in her temper. "So we can discuss that college offer."
She could practically hear the steam coming from Raven's ears. "I told you it's not possible. I only applied because Rachel pushed me."
"M.I.T.'s one of the best schools in the world."
"I'm not that stupid!"
"Obviously, or they wouldn't be interested! Ah know you've got friends and a job, but those things will still be here when you graduate. And imagine everything you could accomplish!"
"If you'd seen the way Samuel lit up-" Her voice broke and she stopped running. She sniffed and continued: "This is where I belong, Rogue. I'm sorry it's not my dream to be rich and famous and powerful like you, but this is my dream."
Rogue sighed and rubbed her face. "Ah don't want you to be like me. Ah want you to be the best you can. Anyone can teach those kids, but if you push yourself outside your comfort zone, you'll inspire them to do the same. You could go to school, make connections, and help all the Samuels out there. Not just one."
"You know, most people would be really proud of my work. What's it take to make you happy? You're always running towards something better. My work, my sacrifices, my feelings – worthless to you! I hope you tell yourself that if I could just do a little more, you'd be proud of me. But I know that'll never happen. And one day you'll be shocked to realize we've had our last conversation and you never told me you loved me or you were proud of anything I ever did!"
Her patience snapped. If she wanted to fight dirty, two could play that game. "You know it's what your momma would want!" She slammed her phone down and punished the defenseless jerky.
Before she finished the bag, the secondary containment failed. A third wasn't ready to deploy, so Rogue and her team rushed back inside and attempted to seal the Terrigen Mist. They failed. Refusing to give up, Rogue stayed till the bitter end with Raven's words echoing mercilessly in her mind.
…
She knew what it felt like to wake from a coma. Never a pleasant experience. The worst part was finally peeling back her eye-lids to find her hospital room vacant. A few wilted flowers lined her room, but Gambit's jacket wasn't draped across a chair. Raven wasn't sulking in the corner. Hell, she would've even been glad to see Rogers. She tried and failed to move her limbs. She continued flexing and her increased heart rate alerted the doctor.
"Welcome back to the land of the living! How're you feeling?"
She tried to speak but had no voice.
"Been out for quite some time," said the doctor. "Blink once for no and twice for yes. Are you in any pain?"
No.
"Feel like you're breathing okay?"
Yes.
"Can you move at all?"
She was still working on that.
"We'll keep an eye on your vitals and I'll check back in an hour, alright?"
"Wait!" She croaked. "…team…"
"Your team? Yes, they're alive. You were the most severe case, although your body was already compromised, so that shouldn't come as a shock. We'll talk more when you're feeling better."
"…Gam…bit…"
"Gambit? Sorry, I don't know how to reach him."
She tried to tell him to use her cell phone, but the words wouldn't come and this time he insisted she rest. To hell with that! She worked to awaken the muscles in her toes, legs, fingers, and arms. Nurses came and went but that lying doctor never re-appeared. Exhaustion consumed her and when she awoke again, Rogers was there.
Somewhat lacking bedside manners, he explained that she'd been exposed. Mutants reacted badly to exposure and she'd suffered extremely. Worst case so far, in fact. But since she'd survived, she could expect her powers to be exaggerated. Infertility was another side-effect. She was off-duty until they could determine whether or not she was fit enough for duty. Her body might be stronger, but if her heart wasn't, she remained a liability.
Tears slid over her temples and he quickly explained that her pay would continue and they'd find another role for her if active duty wasn't an option. Stupid man. Shoving her feelings aside, she shook her head and asked for Gambit.
"I… haven't seen him. Is there someone I could call? Maybe they'd know where he is."
"Raven," she squeaked.
His weathered brow crinkled in confusion. "Mystique?"
"No. Raven." Her voice was audible now. "My daughter. Other world."
He chuckled. "X-Men. How did I miss that?"
"You… didn't…"
His face mirrored her bewilderment. "Rogue, you've been in a coma for almost a month. You're confused. I'll track down Gambit and bring him when I come tomorrow. Can I bring you anything else?"
But the next day came and Rogers couldn't find Gambit. Her strength gradually returned, and as it did, she learned how much the world had changed in thirty days. The Terrigen Mist had devastated the already sparse mutant population. Apparently, this was the proverbial back-breaking straw for Scott, who spiraled from madness into death. To protect her students, Storm moved Grey School to Limbo and opened it as a haven for mutants. Nation X had scattered to the wind, and although the Avengers carried on business as usual, no one had bothered to track down her friends. And so far no one had the gull to tell her the obvious truth – her team was finished. If mutants were an evolutionary dead-end, why should anyone care about them?
…
Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn
'Emma Frost. Private Investigator.'
"From the moment I walked into her office," Rogue said in her best film-noir narration, "I knew this dame was gonna be trouble. She was a tall, cool glass of somethin' I didn't need. But damn was I thirsty."
"Rogue, darling!" Sauntering across her pristine office, Emma approached with outstretched arms. She looked great. And as her white leather jacket embraced Rogue's green cotton coat, she felt great, too. An apocalypse, dead lover, and career change were not excuses to not look fabulous.
"So you're a detective now?"
"Pays the bills. So many people are missing since the M-Pox. I assume that's why you're here? Have a seat."
"Ah'm sorry about Scott," she sat in the leather chair across Emma's wide desk.
"I charge $600 an hour. Is this really how you want to spend it?"
"He was a good man and Ah'm sorry the world broke him… People forgot all the good he did."
"Please stop. Everyone tells me this. I'm not his widow. We weren't even together in the end." She grabbed her notebook and pen. "How can I help you?"
She took a deep breath. "Do you remember Raven?"
Emma's expression was unreadable and Rogue looked ready to bolt. Slowly, she answered: "Do you mean Mystique or your timid look-alike?"
"Oh, thank heavens!" She reached across the desk and held Emma's hands. "Everyone thinks Ah'm crazy! She's gone, all her stuff is gone! When Ah kept searchin', they locked me up for three days until Ah said Ah made it up! Ah was beginnin' to think maybe she was my daughter and the M-Pox erased her existence. But look!" She revealed a white business card with the inscription: 'Bet you can't kill this! – Raven'
"What is this?" Emma asked.
"It was attached to some flowers at the hospital."
"Did you show it to anyone?"
"They think it's from Mystique."
"Tell me everything."
She started with their last conversation – the argument about education, which Raven ended with 'one day you'll realize we've had our last conversation'. The part about Rogue not saying she was proud of Raven seemed irrelevant so she left it out. The next thing she remembered was waking up in the hospital. The staff said Gambit had visited, but not recently, and no one had seen Raven at all. When Rogue finally got her cell phone back, Raven's number and all their interactions had vanished. It was strange, but not as alarming as Gambit's disappearance. He always returned her messages.
"He must've remembered her, too. Ah think he went after her on his own."
"Let's not draw any conclusions yet. Who else did you call?"
Since SHIELD was vehemently against Raven's possible existence, Rogue had turned to some of Gambit's friends. Fence should've been able to trace whoever had tampered with her phone, but when she turned up uninvited, Darce shouted about Rogue's disgusting sickness until she fled. Then she battled her way to Grey School, where Rachel laughed at her. 'An invincible bestie? Did youdream that up or did I?' But when she pressed, Rachel snapped, 'Look, I know you're dealing with a lot, but so is everybody else. There isno Raven. Neverwas. Sorry but I can't help you right now. I've got realpeople to save!'
"They were close?" asked Emma.
"They did everything together. People called them 'Ray-Ray' because they were always together. Rachel's the one who convinced her to apply to M.I.T. How could she forget? She's one of the world's strongest telepaths."
Emma laughed bitterly. "And she's been forced to hurt people against her will before."
"Ah know she was a hound but… You don't think..?"
"As I said, let's not jump to conclusions yet. Any other friends?"
"Remy. He was her protector…"
"And now he's missing."
"So?"
"Rogue, you were in a coma. No one knew if you'd make it. If Sinister or someone else promised to save you, do you honestly think there's anything he wouldn't do? Do you think there's anything he wouldn't sacrifice?"
Her mouth twisted on bitter denial and furious dread.
"Any other contacts?"
Rogue went down the list: Nate, who was on some far-flung mission to save Hope; Sam, who'd been on Mars; and a 'friend' called Nil that Rogue knew nothing about. All had been unreachable.
"You're my last hope, Emma. Ah've looked everywhere."
She set down her notepad and laced her fingers. "I have a few ideas, but as I said before – we're not going to jump to any conclusions. We'll track every lead until she turns up."
"Thank you," she sighed.
"Don't thank me yet." Emma retrieved a file from a locked cabinet and handed it to Rogue. It was a plain manila folder with 'H. Gordon – AU – Closed' written across the front. "Mr. Gordon was one of my first clients: a survivor of Raven's world tracking down others. Obviously, she was the only survivor from ground zero. Everyone else was off-planet and they were very interested in her."
Her stomach plummeted. "You helped him?"
"I gave them a way to contact each other, yes. When I spoke to Raven, she seemed intent on returning. I would never endanger her. Please trust that I took every precaution to verify his story before I accepted the case."
"But… But that doesn't explain why no one else remembers."
"Do you think Gambit would've gone with her?"
"No." She shook her head firmly. "We were talkin' about movin' in together. He said he'd never leave me…"
Again, her face was unreadable. "I'll get started today."
"How can Ah help?"
"Go home and rest, dear. You look like hell."
"Ah can't. Ah'm pretty sure SHEILD has my place bugged. One more word about Raven and they'll throw me in the insane-and-deadly cell."
"All the more reason to carry about your routine."
Emma promised to call the following afternoon. They made quick good-byes and Rogue walked the long route home, hoping to leave her racing thoughts behind.
…
To Be Continued…
…
Author's Notes: Marvel never bothered to explain why Rogue responded particularly poorly to the Terrigen Mist. If her health was already compromised, I thought it would clear up a lot. Instead of just, you know, making her a plot point. I'm not sure where Emma ended up after the eight month gap. If anyone knows, please share. But I didn't think that her moonlighting as a P.I. was too far-fetched. Gambit also seemed to vanish. He's not seen with Rogue at the hospital or in Limbo with Storm. So wth was he doing? Hmm…