Never Wake

by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters

Ch. 6: First Date

Finn nervously stood in the bar they'd agreed to meet in. She wore skinny jeans and a deep blue shirt to bring out her eyes, but now wondered if she was under dressed.

Sara walked in minutes later, dressed in a deep blue blouse and black slacks with heels, sneaking up behind Finn and resting a hand on her shoulder.

Finn spun around with a smile. "Hi. You look lovely."

"You look beautiful," Sara said, sitting at the bar. "Shall we?"

Finn blushed slightly, sitting next to her, ordering their drinks. "I need you to understand this is new territory for me... going on a date with a woman..."

Sara smiled. "That's completely fine. I'm not one to force my tongue down your throat, well, unless we were ever at that point. My point being that I'm happy you asked for this much and you're free to call the shots until you want me to."

The blonde nodded, relaxing. "It's been a while."

Sara nodded, sipping her drink. "Me too. I've just...well..."

Finn lay a hand over Sara's. "I may have only joined the team after you lost your wife, but I know what a legacy she left behind. It's ok to talk about her, and it's ok to want her to be here, just like it's ok to want to stop feeling so lonely in the world."

Sara nodded again, downing the rest of her drink, wiping her mouth. "Please, I know you're trying to help, but here isn't the place for this."

"Sorry. I tend to talk too much when I'm nervous," she smiled. "So, uh... you like baseball?"

"Somewhat. Why?" she asked, holding her hand.

"I'm a bit of a sports fan. Baseball's my thing."

Sara smirked. "You play?"

"I'm on a team, yeah."

"Maybe I could catch a practice sometime..." Her mind was already running through scenarios with one drink in her.

"We practice Wednesday's at seven and play Saturday's at one."

Sara smiled. "Sounds fun."

The blonde nodded. "Though I pretty much like all sports. What about you?"

Sara chewed on her lip. "I don't really do much outside of work and the kids take up so much of my time, but... I-no. I-I can't say this now. Even I know I shouldn't."

Finn smirked. For some reason she loved watching the brunette squirm. "No, go on."

"It's just...they can't give me everything. I need to take care of myself too. I love them, but it's so different. I guess I miss just having someone beside me at night when it's cold out or after a rough case to curl up to, you know? And, yes, I know by telling you this, I'm significantly reducing my chances at this happening again."

"Hey, I can do curling up."

"Well, that's a nice, comforting thought, but I'd prefer it was down the road when you were a bit more comfortable with all of this."

"I just meant don't rule it out. You think I don't know what it's like to feel lonely?"

"I-I never said that, but I guess I don't know you like that."

"Since I divorced my second husband... this is the first date I've been on in a long time."

"How long has it been?"

"A little over two years. In the past I've always rushed dating and marriage. I guess I've never taken the time to appreciate what the other person can offer other than in the bedroom. This time, I want to take things slowly. Get to know you."

Sara smiled. "Sounds good to me. I don't think I've been on a date since...long before I was married, so it's been a while."

"Tell me about the kids."

"Really? What do you want to know?"

"Yes, really," she smiled widely, "They're a big part of your life, there isn't any point trying to avoid bringing them up. That would make us both uncomfortable. Well, all I know from around the lab is you have three, so anything you like."

"Wow. Never thought I'd hear that. It's usually considered a date-killer," she said with a laugh, "but let's see. Lindsay's almost seventeen. She's from Catherine's first marriage and then there are the twins, Mason and Madison. They're seven now."

"Hey, I might not have kids, but it doesn't mean I didn't want them at some point," Finn smiled, nodding, "Sounds like a handful."

"Oh, they are. And, just recently, there is another thing, but I-I'd hate to scare you away on the first date, so..."

"No, it's ok, go on. Honesty is one thing I never had from the beginning in any relationship."

Sara bit her lip. "Well...ok. It's Lindsay. She's pregnant from an attack. Listen, I-I'm not trying to trap you into anything or make you feel like you have to do anything, but you said you wanted honesty and well, can't get more honest than that," she said, sipping from the drink the bartender had set in front of her.

Finn took a moment to digest the information, then sat forward, closer the the brunette. "Is she coping ok?"

Sara smiled, holding her hand a little tighter. "I-I guess so. I mean...damn, this isn't what I need right now," she said, wiping her eyes. "I-I'm sorry. It's just...it would be so much easier if the situation were reversed for this. I know she misses her."

Finn ran her thumb lightly over Sara's cheek, wiping away the residual tears. "Of course she misses her, especially now, but I'd say she's got the best parent she can given the circumstances."

She sighed. "Yes, but still..."

"You can't think like that. You'll make yourself sick with guilt, and that won't do anybody much good. Look, Sara, however this turns out... whether we date or we don't, if you need support or to talk, you only have to say."

Sara smiled. "Thank you. I-I thought I was feeling better obviously, but..."

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I could eat a burger and chips about now. Diner across the road?"

Sara nodded. "Sounds great," she said, linking her arm.

Finn smiled, walking Sara across the road. "Ah, that's much better. It's quieter for a start."

"Yes it is," she said, finding them a booth and sliding in.

Finn slid in the opposite side, taking Sara's hand across the table. "Have any questions for me?"

"Anything you want to tell me?"

"I've never dated anyone outside the police force. I like fantasy movies and right now, well, you look very beautiful."

Sara blushed deeply. "Thank you. I never really dated much either. This might be to early to ask, but... why don't you have any kids if you want them?"

Finn winced. "Want them, can't have them."

Sara nodded, squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry. I won't... do you like any other sports?"

"Apart from baseball, pretty much all of them. And, it's ok. I'm not sure that even if I could I would by now. My relationships have just never felt right."

"Oh, I was worried it might have been a medical problem, but, in reality, you still could. Never underestimate that."

"No, I... I can carry. And it is a medical problem, it's just... complicated."

Sara squeezed her hand. "Do you play any other sports?"

"Archery, sometimes. Tennis."

She smiled. "Maybe I could watch sometime. It'd do me a little good to actually interact with you instead of always being with the kids. I love them more than my own life, but I need some time for myself too."

"I understand," Finn smiled, squeezing Sara's hand, "And I totally understand if you need to cancel or leave at short notice for the kids."

Sara nodded. "I think a burger and fries sounds great too."

Finn quickly went to order, paying before sitting back down. Once they were finished eating, Finn smiled across at her. "It's getting late..."

"Is that an indication that you want go our separate ways? Or keep going?" she asked.

"I don't live far if you want to have coffee?"

Sara smiled. "Sure, let me just let Lily know," she said, calling her to say she didn't know exactly when she would be home.

Finn flicked the light on twenty minutes later, slipping her coat off. "Living room is first on the left, I'll just put the kettle on," she smiled, walking through to the kitchen.

The brunette nodded, slipping off her shoes and going to sit on the couch.

"So, now you know where I live," the blonde smiled, sitting opposite her.

"Nice place."

"Thanks. Sara..."

"Yeah? Something wrong?"

"I feel guilty."

"Guilty? Why?"

"I said about being honest and you were. I feel like I'm holding back about the baby thing."

"Holding back?"

"When I was younger, I got sick. They took eggs in case I ever wanted a baby, because my treatment would leave me infertile otherwise."

Sara moved closer, resting a hand on hers. "You don't have to tell me, but I am curious now."

"Chemo and radiotherapy. When I was nineteen."

She let out a breath. "Cancer. Wow. I-I mean..."

Finn shook her head. "Aside from my family, you're the only one I've ever told."

Sara hugged her tightly.

Finn held her close, turning her head to capture Sara's lips.

Sara kissed her softly. "It's ok if you're scared," she whispered.

"Of what?"

"Everything with...what could go on if there is more to us."

"I-I think I want there to be."

Sara nodded, smiling softly as she caressed Finn's cheek. "Then everything will be in your court. As long as you don't mind me doing this every once in a while when we're alone," she said, kissing her again, a little deeper.

A soft moan escaped the blonde's lips, kissing back without hesitation.

Sara nipped her lip gently, rubbing her back, moaning softly.

Finn deepened the kiss, pulling Sara closer.

Sara moaned, sliding her tongue across her lips.

Finn's lips instantly parted, allowing the brunette access.

Sara smiled, slipping her tongue inside. "Mmm..."

The blonde's tongue stroked Sara's lightly. "Ohh..."

Sara moaned, sucking on hers. "You can stop if you're too uncomfortable."

Finn pulled away. "It's not that I want to stop kissing you, I just don't want it to lead to more than that right now and I don't trust myself not to act on the way you're making me feel."

Sara nodded, hugging her tight. "Okay. That makes sense, but, whether you believe it or not, you really are very beautiful."

Finn blushed deeply. "As are you. You're an amazing, strong woman, Sara."

"I have to be. Is there really coffee?"

"Yes, sorry. I got distracted. I'll be right back," Finn smiled, rushing to the kitchen, needing to cool down. She didn't know another woman could make her feel so good. Five minutes later, she placed two mugs on the coffee table, retaking her earlier position on the couch. "There you go."

Sara smiled. "It's ok. Really," she said, taking a drink of coffee. "Thank you."

"Do you have to go any time soon?"

"No. Why?"

"Movie?"

Sara shrugged. "Sure. What do you have in mind?"

"I have a few comedy, some drama, but mostly fantasy."

"You can pick one."

"Hmm..." she said, standing. Having taken time to choose one, the blonde leant forward to place the disc in the player, a small amount of flowing script across her lower back poking out.

Sara smiled. "Tattoo?"

Finn turned with a nod, rejoining Sara on the couch. "I got it when I was younger."

"What does it say?"

Finn pulled up her top to show Sara the Latin phrase 'Perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim'. "More specifically I got it before I started treatment."

"What does it mean?"

"Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you."

Sara smiled, scooting closer to her and wrapping an arm around her. "And you are. Truly."

Finn kissed Sara's cheek with a smile, relaxing against her as her focus shifted to the movie.

Sara leaned into her. "Hate to bother, but movies are always better with popcorn."

Smirking, the blonde stood making a large bowl of popcorn that she knew they would never finish, handing it to Sara before sitting down. "Is this better?"

Sara smiled, snuggling into her. "Yes," she said, taking a handful.

When they'd finally put the bowl down, Finn entwined her fingers with the brunette's, running her thumb lightly over the back of Sara's hand.

Sara smiled wider, pulling her closer. "You ok?" she whispered.

She nodded. "Just thinking."

"Oh, about?"

"It's nice, isn't it? To suddenly not feel all alone in the world."

"Yes it is. Very nice," she said with a yawn.

Finn's arm moved around Sara's shoulders, pulling her closer. Dropping a kiss to the brunette's forehead, she grabbed the blanket draped over the back of the couch and placed it over them

Sara shrugged. "All right. The kids will be fine for a night," she whispered, cuddling into her as she fell asleep.

Finn smiled, turning the TV off, slowly falling asleep.

Sara held her tightly, kissing her cheek in her sleep.

Reviews: joann & helly1bradleywyatt