Never Wake
by: Liv-x-Case-Benson & dcmasters
Ch. 9: Changes
A week later, they'd had a particularly rough case that had everyone on edge and Sara wishing she could spend some personal time with the blonde.
Finn had been out at a scene all shift, and didn't return until ten minutes before it was due to finish. "Anyone seen Sara?"
"In her office," Greg said.
"Thanks," Finn smiled, slipping into the locker room before knocking on the brunette's door.
"Come in."
Finn smiled as she entered, locking the door behind her. With the blinds already down, she approached Sara, kissing her deeply. "Hi babe."
"Mmm hi. How was your scene?"
"Bloody," she replied, pulling Sara up to hold her close.
Sara wrapped her arms around her. "Are you ok?"
"I've barely seen you all week what with the twins' school play and Lindsay's appointments. I miss you."
"I miss you too. Something you want?"
"Is it that obvious?" she blushed.
She smiled. "What and where?"
"Here and now."
Sara smirked, unbuttoning Finn's top, sliding it from her shoulders.
Finn pulled Sara's top over her head, nipping her neck. "Mmm..."
The brunette moaned, quickly shedding her bra and kissing her smooth skin.
"God, I've missed this," Finn said softly, running her hand through Sara's hair.
"Me too," Sara moaned, sucking on her right breast, squeezing the other.
A low moan escaped Finn's lips, unclasping the brunette's bra, removing it quickly, hands moving to Sara's trouser zipper, sliding it down.
"What exactly are you aiming for?" she asked with a raised brow.
"That depends how quiet you can be."
"Me?"
Finn nodded with a smirk.
Sara nodded. "Can I sit back down?"
Finn moved several files from Sara's desk to the floor. "Sure," she said, lifting her onto the desk with a passionate kiss.
Sara moaned, squeezing the blonde's chest.
"Mmm..." Finn smirked, nipping and sucking below the brunette's ear.
"Mmm..."
Finn stripped Sara of her jeans and underwear, running a finger gently over her clit.
Sara gasped.
"Babe..." she moaned, feeling her wetness.
Sara smiled. "Yes?"
"You're so wet..." she breathed by her ear, sucking the lobe.
"I-I should be..." she whispered. "God you feel good!"
"Close your eyes..."
"Okay," she said, closing them.
Finn stepped from her own trousers, spreading Sara's legs wider. Taking the brunette's left nipple in her mouth, she allowed the tip of the toy she wore inside her.
Sara gasped, biting her lip as she attempted not to scream. "W-wait...please."
Finn stopped, stroking Sara's cheek. "I'm sorry. Are you ok?"
Sara opened her eyes. "Y-yes, but please...please don't. I-it reminds me of..." She was trying to keep the memories at bay, but it broke as her tears cascaded. "I-I'm sorry, ok? I w-want to..."
Finn pulled away, shedding the toy and harness. Sitting in the desk chair, she pulled Sara into her lap holding her tightly. "Shh, it's ok. Let it out."
Sara held her tightly, trying to calm down. "I'm sorry..."
"No, I should have thought. Don't be sorry," she whispered, rubbing Sara's back. "How about I drive you home?"
Sara nodded, shakily pulling her clothes back on. "Just to be clear, I do love it. I just need a bit more time. I know it sounds crazy after ten years, but..."
"No. It sounds absolutely normal," Finn replied, redressing. "I can go home if you want time or stay a while. It's your choice, I mean, the kids will be waking up."
"Will you stay?"
"Whatever you want," she smiled, kissing Sara's cheek.
"I'm going to want that sometime, I promise."
"It's not important. You, however, are very important."
Sara smiled. "It was a considerate thought. I just need to wrap my head around everything."
"You really don't need to explain," Finn smiled, leading them out to the car, "Shall I follow, or drive us both?"
"You can drive us both," she said, getting in the passenger side.
Finn took Sara's hand as she drove, humming to the music.
Sara smiled, wider, curling up in the seat.
"I can sort the kids' breakfast if you want to sleep when we get in?"
Sara nodded, walking in and going up to bed.
Finn took a deep breath, walking into Mason's room. Sitting on the edge of the bed, she hesitated before stroking his forehead. "Mason..." she whispered.
He rolled over. "Finn?"
"Hey buddy. Mommy's tired so I said I'd get you up for breakfast so she can go to bed."
He smiled, hugging her.
Finn held him tightly, not accustomed to hugs from the boy unless they were at a game and won. "You ok?"
Mason nodded. "Missed you."
Finn felt her heart swell a little, kissing his forehead. "I missed you too. It seems like so long since I've seen you."
"Finn!" Madison squealed happily, crawling into her lap, hugging her. "Is Mommy sleeping?"
"Hey," she smiled, holding her securely. "She is. I was going to make you guys breakfast."
"Can we have waffles?" she asked.
"Sure. That ok with you Mason?"
He nodded. "Okay."
"I know it's still early, but we could watch a movie after breakfast? I don't want to wake Lindsay so early."
"Sure."
"Right, come on then," she smiled, taking their hands. As soon as breakfast was done, she got them to pick a movie, sitting on the couch with a thick blanket and lots of cushions.
An hour or so later, someone shook the brunette's shoulder. Sara groaned, sitting up and seeing Lindsay. "Hey, something wrong or just not feeling good?"
"I just wanted to hear your voice."
"Come sit," she said, scooting over. "Feeling ok?"
Lindsay got in beside her, laying her head on the brunette's shoulder. "I'm scared."
Sara wrapped her arms around her. "Of this?"
Lindsay nodded. "It seems to be going so fast now."
"The end is usually fast or slow. Your mom always told me she wished it would've lasted longer. She just loved being pregnant apparently. Feeling them move and knowing they were there."
"She moves all the time now," Lindsay smiled, her voice changing to a whisper. "Sara, I'm so glad you're here."
"Why?"
"Because you've always stuck by me, even when I've been a brat, or caused you so much worry and pain. I feel so selfish sometimes, wanting Mom back when you're just as amazing as she ever was. I just want you to know I feel so lucky to have you around. I couldn't have coped with all this if it wasn't for you. I love you, Mom."
Sara smiled, hugging her tightly. "I love you too."
Lindsay smiled, placing Sara's hand on her stomach when the baby gave a strong kick, smirking. "She says love you too, Grandma."
Sara kissed her cheek. "And I bet she'll be beautiful just like you."
"You've gone all soppy in your old age."
She laughed, playfully hitting her arm. "My priorities have drastically changed."
Lindsay gave a soft laugh. "Can you hear the twins' favorite movie?"
"Mhm, Finn brought me home and offered to get them breakfast because I was pretty tired when we got back."
"Have you asked her to move in yet?"
"I've...seriously thought about it, but..."
"But what?"
"It just seems crazy. But all of the things with your mom, I never thought I'd ever care about someone again. I know she won't take her place, but..."
"You're not betraying her, Sara, in the same way you're not replacing her. You're... healing. Choosing to be happy again."
Sara sighed. "I know, but it still feels like it."
"As much as it hurts to think about, Mom's not here anymore. But Finn is, and until she showed up, well... it had been a long time since we all saw you smile this much."
"I know. Are you hungry?"
"We're starving."
Sara stood. "Come on."
Downstairs, Finn, now warm from the heat of the the twins either side of her, was fast asleep.
The brunette smiled, walking over behind Finn, kissing her.
The blonde stirred, her eyelids flickering. "Hi."
"I have a question to ask you," she whispered.
"Oh?"
Sara smiled. "Mhm."
"Back in a minute you two," she said softly, slipping into the hall with Sara, suddenly feeling nervous. "What is it?"
Sara hugged her tightly. "It's ok. It's just...I don't like being away from you and so...I wondered if you wanted to move in with us?"
Finn looked a little shocked, especially after earlier. "I... I'd love to," she grinned, kissing Sara deeply.
"Mmm. I came to realize, yes, Catherine gave me so much and she is still here, but she would want me to be happy, taken care of and the kids just adore you. I don't think I would ask if they didn't. I want you with us."
Finn's eyes filled with tears, pulling Sara into a tight hug.
Sara smiled, hugging her. "I love you."
"I love you too."
"I know earlier was...awkward, but I really haven't been with someone since her. That was why it got to me."
"I told you, you don't need to explain. I'll never be her, and I'd never want to replace her. I understand she'll always be a big part of this home, and that's exactly as it should be."
Sara smiled, walking back into the living room. "Guys, Finn's going to move in."
"So we can see her all the time?" Mason asked.
"Yeah."
"Cool!" they smiled as Finn rejoined them on the couch.
Sara walked into the kitchen, finding Lindsay at the table. "Hey."
"Hey. I warmed you some waffles that Finn made."
Sara nodded, sitting at the table. "Thank you. Okay, now I have something to ask you. Are you planning on staying with us? If so we may need to look for another house. I mean, I love this place, but your little girl isn't always going to want to stay in your room."
"Y-you want to sell the house?"
"Of course I don't. Relax. It's just a question. Maybe not right away, but it may get a little cramped when time goes on."
"But all the memories. If we get a new house..."
"Linds, the memories are in here," Sara said, lying a hand over her heart, then sighed, "but, yeah, I understand what you mean."
"And, when you both want some more space, my place is paid for..." Finn offered softly from the doorway.
"What do you mean?"
"Sara asked me to move in. I... I'm not going to be needing my place and the mortgage is paid, so when you're older and you and your daughter need space... my place is yours. If you want it, that is."
Lindsay smiled. "I'll think about it."
"That's why I even suggested that. I mean, somewhere down the road, you'll want your own life, a relationship. And...well, bringing them home here might be a breaker and I would hate for that to happen," Sara said.
Lindsay nodded. "Sorry, hormones."
"Don't worry," the brunette said, taking another bite.
Finn watched them a little nervously. Sure, they got on, but she'd spent much more time with the twins.
"You can sit down if you want," Sara said.
Finn shook her head disappearing out to the car, returning with a gift bag a few minutes later. "I... this is for you," she said, handing it to Lindsay.
"For me?" she asked, opening it.
Finn nodded. Inside the bag, there was a large box of caramel soft centers, Lindsay's latest craving. Under a layer of tissue paper beneath the box was a soft pale pink baby blanket.
Lindsay smiled, standing up and hugging her. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," Finn smiled, returning the hug before sitting next to Sara.
Sara smirked. "You know, Linds, maybe I should arrange for the three of us to have a spa day. The kids could go to grandma's. I still remember the place your mom and I went to. They have pregnancy packages by request."
"I'd like that," Lindsay smiled.
Finn's head found Sara's shoulder.
Sara smiled, running her fingers through Finn's blonde locks. "I can try to set it up soon. You ok, baby?"
"Sleepy."
"Want to go up to bed?"
Finn shook her head. "It's ok."
"You sure?"
The blonde nodded, getting up to check on the twins. "You two ok?" she asked, sitting down again.
Mason nodded. "Will you help me practice?"
"Sure," she smiled.
"Can I come watch?" Madison asked.
"You want to field?"
"Yes."
Sara walked out. "We can be your cheering squad," she said as Lindsay appeared behind her.
"Come on, then."
The brunette smiled as she sat on the porch with Lindsay.
"You two ready?"
The twins nodded.
Finn focused, pitching to Mason.
Mason planted his feet, hitting the ball with steady force.
Madison ran, catching it in her glove, throwing it back to Finn. "Great catch!"
She grinned.
Sara smiled at them. "They're really getting along."
Lindsay nodded. "It's nice to see. It's good for them."
"Yes it is. Great hit Mason!"
Mason grinned back at her, waving.
Sara waved back.
Finn smirked at Sara before pitching again.
Sara smiled, stretching out.
They played a while longer, and as Finn grew increasingly tired, she lost concentration. Mason gave the ball a hard hit and the blonde moved to catch it, but the ball caught her eye and sent her to the ground.
"Finn!" Sara yelled, running over. "Hey, are you ok, baby? Come on, let's go inside and put some ice on that. Madison, Mason, grab the ball and gear and come inside, ok?" she asked, helping Finn inside to the kitchen, sitting her at the table, quickly getting her a bag of ice for her shiner.
"Thanks," she smiled, holding the ice to her eye.
"You ok?"
"I'm fine, honey."
Sara kissed her head. "Must've been some hit."
"He did learn from the best," she smirked.
"True. Need anything else?"
"Just the bathroom," she smiled.
Sara smiled, getting up and making a drink for Lindsay and tea for herself and Finn, taking Lindsay her drink.
Finn took a sip, then disappeared upstairs.
Lindsay looked up at Sara guiltily, closing the box of half eaten chocolates.
"Oh, it's ok. Keep eating. Here, something to drink," she said, handing the drink to her.
"She looks tired."
"I know. She needs to sleep."
"She won't," Lindsay stated, shrugging.
"You ok if I go check on her?"
"I'll keep an eye on the twins."
Sara smiled, going upstairs.
Finn walked from the bathroom with a wide yawn.
"Baby, you really should sleep. You look exhausted."
"I can't."
"Why not?"
Finn sighed. "I... I feel awkward."
"Awkward?"
Finn pulled Sara into the bedroom, closing the door. "I don't want to rock the boat, make people uncomfortable, by sleeping on her side."
Sara hugged her. "You won't. But if it makes you feel too weird, I can switch. I don't mind. I love you. Or if you wanted to get a new bed...or we could swap this one for yours..."
"It's not the bed, just the side. Would you switch? Even just for a while?"
"Of course. Anything else?"
Finn nodded, taking her hand. "Stay."
Sara nodded. "Where?"
Finn got into the side she knew was Sara's, laying down. "Right here."
Sara smiled, sliding into bed next to her, pulling her close, kissing her deeply.
Finn moaned, returning the kiss. "I love you."
"I love you too. I'm regretting not doing that earlier now."
"Doing what?"
"In my office," she smirked.
Finn smirked. "Sleepy."
Sara nodded, rubbing her back. "Then sleep."
Finn unbuttoned her shirt, pulling the brunette's arms around her tightly. "I love you," she whispered.
The brunette smirked. "Sshh, I'll help you sleep," she said, shedding Finn's shirt, kissing her neck softly.
Finn relaxed. "Mmm..."
Sara snuggled her close. "Sleep baby."
Finn was asleep within seconds.
The brunette smiled, sleeping ten minutes later.
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