Author's Note: Okay, I'm probably going to skip the detailed smutty stuff for a couple chapters, I'm fine with writing it but I don't want to add it in unnecessarily (do let me know if you want me to add it in, I'll take it into consideration). I wasn't very happy with the last chapter so I'm going to take a little more time writing this one, it might seem a little fast/wild but I think that is exactly how they would be, especially at the beginning. I'm also working on the balance of adding more descriptive imagery and language without getting too wordy and pretentious. Also to the person who mentioned one shots, I will consider it, but I think those would come after this story (or at least until I'm much further along in this).
P.S. The Kiwi slang for a blow job is a gobby, I had to refrain myself from finding a way to make Joker say it, purely because the mental voice I hear of Joker saying it is fucking hilarious.
Chapter Seventeen.
Harley awoke in a slow blur, she rolled onto her back and, from the feeling of silk underneath her, assumed she must be in a bed. Joker must have moved her while she slept, the thought warmed her heart causing a slow grin to spread across her face. Harley blinked her eyes open slowly, glancing around. She was in Jokers room she recognised, the warm sunlight drifting in through a nearby window illuminated the room enough for Harley to notice that Joker was nowhere to be seen.
Rolling out of bed, Harley considered what to do. She needed clothes, was her first thought. She tugged slightly at Jokers button up shirt that she had slipped on last night, perhaps she could ask Joker to have something brought to her until she could go buy a new wardrobe. That was an exciting idea, she thought, she could make over her wardrobe entirely and fill it with clothes she had not allowed herself to wear when she had been Harleen.
Harley stepped out into the brightly lit hall, the dark wooden floors felt surprisingly warm under her bare feet as she walked slowly down the hall. Harley ran her fingertips along the cool white walls. The walls around his apartment were covered in various paintings depicting everything from clowns to famous artworks (that looked suspiciously authentic), and decorative objects that ranged from wooden masks to large swords. It was an eclectic mix that suited Jokers peculiar tastes, yet it seemed to fit together perfectly.
Harley walked through the lounge room slowly, taking in more than she had when she first arrived. The room was lit brightly by a large wall of windows that Harley suspected were bulletproof, given how thick they were. The dark wooden floors were polished brightly, and red leather couches and chairs surrounded a glass coffee table that sat on top of a plush golden rug. It was a strange mix, but Harley loved it.
Moving to sit cross legged on the plush carpet, ignoring the couches entirely, Harley grabbed the remote and switched on the large wall mounted television. Flicking to the news Harley watched in fascination as what appeared to be a mugshot of Joker appeared on screen. "-crow, Killer Croc', and The Joker have staged a breakout from the infamous Arkham Asylum. At this point the casualties are known to be at fourteen, with the numbers rising as new information is received. Jonathan Crane, better know as Scarecrow, was captured by Batman before he managed to leave Arkham Asylum, though Killer Croc' and Joker are still unaccounted for" a serious looking Japanese woman said.
Harley pouted slightly at the fact that Crane had not managed to free himself, but at least Waylon had managed to escape. Harley felt a jolt of shock as her own face, the picture from her Arkham Asylum identification she recognised, appeared on the screen. "The breakout is thought to have been carried out by none other than Harleen Quinzel, The Joker's own therapist. It is believed she left with Joker unconscious, so much speculation remains around the circumstances of Doctor Quinzel's involvement" The reporter continued.
Harley's pout increased at the report, all that work and they didn't even credit her properly. She needed to correct them on her name as well, she pondered. Her name was Harley Quinn, Doctor Harleen Quinzel did not exist anymore. She rolled her eyes as the television as the reporter continued on with speculating about the events of the Arkham Asylum breakout.
Standing from the soft carpet in one smooth motion, Harley twirled around and considered her options. She was hungry, so she could check for food, but she also missed Joker. Harley bounced on her toes as she tried to decide. Joker, she agreed upon internally, turning to head back down the long hall.
Harley stopped in front of Jokers office and hesitated, she better get in the habit of knocking she decided, as she rapped on the thick wooden door. "Come in" Sung the voice of Joker from within. Harley threw the door open quickly and hurried across the golden carpet to Jokers desk, where he sat in his elegant chair. Harley perched on the edge of the desk carefully as Joker appraised her in the dim light of his office.
"Good morning Puddin'" She chirped, leaning to brush a kiss against his cheek. "It's afternoon, you slept like the dead" Joker said, cackling, though he pressed a kiss to Harley's hand. Harley turned herself so that she was facing Joker fully, shifting carefully around the various folders, papers, and designs for what looked like a small bomb.
"I need clothes Mister J, is there anything I can wear to get some supplies, please?" She asked, jutting her bottom lip out at him in a pout. Joker flashed his silver smile at her "Your Mister J takes care of you, little Harlequin. I have a tailor coming over to make you something to wear, and tonight we can go, uh, shopping" He said, his voice as thick as honey.
Harley beamed at him "Oh thank you Puddin'!" She exclaimed, Harley was not stupid, she knew that Jokers idea of shopping would be illegal and dangerous, but she was more than excited to go. Harley brought her legs up to sit cross legged on his desk and rested her elbows on her knees. "Who took care of this place while you were gone J? It's so clean and everything is already here" She questioned, a thought that had been playing on her mind since she had awoken.
Joker rolled his head around on his neck, and grinned "Frost is the only other person who has access to this floor, he takes care of things. My right-hand man" He sung. Harley nodded, it made sense that he would have a man to run things while he was away. "So there's food? I'll make you something to eat" Harley offered, still grinning brightly at him. Joker gave a playful growl and pulled Harley into a kiss "Good girl" He said as he pulled away. Harley hopped down off the desk and blew a playful kiss at Joker, who mockingly caught it. Harley didn't mind; she knew he wouldn't show his affection like a normal man, and she was fine with that. She knew he loved her, even if he didn't acknowledge it in the normal ways.
Harley was walking on air as she made her way into the kitchen. She was riding on the thrill of successfully freeing Joker from Arkham Asylum, and officially starting her new life. She knew it would be dangerous living a life as Joker's girl but that thought thrilled her to the point of giddiness.
The kitchen had no windows, was the first thing Harley noticed. It was lit instead by what seemed to be a small crystal chandelier, Harley gazed at it in amazement; a chandelier in the kitchen she marvelled. The room was modern and high-tech, with every surface and appliance gleaming in white and silver. A large marble island counter was surrounded by a couple steel bar stools.
Harley looked through all of the cabinets and through the fridge with the curiosity of a child. It was indeed fully stocked, Harley wondered if Joker often cooked for himself, she couldn't picture him standing in the kitchen making pancakes, she began giggling aloud at the idea. Actually pancakes sounded wonderful, Harley decided.
Having no music to listen to while she cooked, Harley decided to make her own. She sung loudly and freely as she mixed a quick batter for pancakes, and began drumming her spatula along while she cooked the pancakes on the hot stove top. Harley set out the pancakes carefully on the marble island, along with a selection of syrups and berries. Once Harley had laid out the plates and cutlery, she switched on a gleaming and confusing espresso machine.
She began to argue with herself in her mind, should she bring a plate to Joker or should she tell him breakfast (lunch, another voice interrupted her mentally) was ready in the kitchen, after a quick internal argument. Harley decided to tell Joker that the food was ready and she would bring him a plate if he asked.
Grinning at her decision Harley strode down the hallway to Joker's office, knocking quickly, Harley peeked her head into the room. "I made pancakes Mister J, do you want to eat them with me?" She questioned. Joker looked up from his phone, which he seemed to have been texting on, and laughed "Looking after me? How sweet" He drawled, though he stood and made his way to Harley.
Joker grasped Harley's hand and spun her down the hallway, laughing slowly as Harley giggled wildly. Harley clapped happily as Joker sat in front of the meal she had laid out and inhaled deeply. "I made coffee Mister J, how do you like it?" She asked as she poured her own cup of coffee and added a little milk and sugar. "As black as my soul and as sweet as you" He sung, laughing at his own words.
Harley laughed along as she prepared his coffee and brought it over to him. "Mmm, I'll keep you" He growled, taking a sip. "You won't be able to get rid of me Puddin'" She replied cheerily, seating herself next to Joker. They ate comfortably, in what might have been considered a normal meal had they not been discussing the store they would break into that night, and the best weapons of choice. Harley felt like she was on cloud nine.
Joker left as soon as he was done eating, telling Harley he had business to take care of. He warned her that Frost would be over soon with the tailor, and that she should send Frost to his office while she dealt with the tailor. Harley had thanked him again, in the form of heated blow-job against the kitchen counter.
Harley had just finished the dishes when the elevator dinged, skipping out to the lounge room, Harley studied her new guests. Frost was a serious looking man, well built with close cropped dark hair, and intense brown eyes, he appeared to be in his late thirties. He had his guns in their holsters in full view as he led a small older woman forward. The woman looked to be about sixty, though she carried a large brown bag easily. She appeared to be italian, and did not seem at all intimidated to be in Jokers apartment.
Harley moved forward quickly, beaming at the pair "Hi, Harley Quinn, nice to meet 'cha" She chirped, hand out stretched. Frost took her hand in a firm handshake and nodded at her, his eyes studying her with well concealed curiosity. "Frost" He said simply, before nodding towards the woman "This is Eileen, she'll get some clothing sorted for you" He added. Harley sent another beaming smile at the woman, who nodded calmly in response.
"Mister J says you can go straight to his office" Harley said to Frost, who had turned back to the elevator and was pulling a large rack of clothing covered in black garment bags into the middle of the room. Frost nodded once more at Harley and Eileen, before walking from the room without a word. Harley rocked on her heels as she watched Eileen appraise her "Are you Mister J's personal tailor?" Harley asked, moving to sit on a chair beside the rack of clothing.
"I am. Stand for me, I will take measurements now" She said, her voice razor sharp, yet not impolite. Harley bounded out of the chair and twirled in front of Eileen dramatically. "Can you make something special for me, and have it sent later too?" Harley questioned, an image of an outfit that had played on her mind since Joker had nicknamed her springing to mind.
"Yes, we will fit you for these clothes first, then I shall draw it up for you" She dismissed, wrapping a measuring tape she had produced from her large bag around Harley.
Eileen was a quick woman, sharp as a knife, and not one for speaking much. Harley rambled on about the new clothing styles she wanted as Eileen measured her, then began rummaging through the racks, picking out bags at what seemed like random and throwing them over the back of one of the leather chairs.
"These outfits, you will like" She stated "I brought undergarments for you, put them on" She instructed, pulling a white bag filled with lacy underwear and bras from her large black bag and handing it to Harley. "Wow, you're like Mary Poppins, except scarier" Harley informed her, smiling brightly as she slipt into a bra and underwear that were sized perfectly (Joker must have checked her dirty clothes, she decided) "Scary Poppins, that's who you are Eileen" Harley added, throwing Jokers shirt to the side as she stood in front of Eileen in her undergarments shamelessly.
Eileen rolled her eyes at Harley as she began unzipping the garment bags, the next couple hours passed in a blur of outfits and alterations. Eileen was a wizard with a sewing needle, she pinned and altered all of the outfits that Harley tried on faster that anyone Harley had seen before, no wonder Joker kept her as his personal tailor, Harley marvelled.
"Scary Poppins I think that you're stabbing me with those pins on purpose now" Harley said, after she had jumped yet again when she had suddenly been jabbed by a needle. "No complaining, this is the last outfit. You would not be jabbed if you could stay still, it is your fault" Eileen replied around the pins she held in her mouth, her nimble fingers sewing quickly as she put the last few stitches in the outfit Harley was wearing.
Eileen stepped back and appraised the outfit "You are done, I will put the outfits back in their bags, you go look" She said, nodding at her work. Harley threw her arms around the stiff woman "Thank you Scary Poppins, you're the best, even if you do stab me" Harley said cheerily, before turning and making her way into the bathroom.
Harley was almost vibrating in excitement as she studied herself in the mirror. The outfit was a deep purple dress, it was tight and came to her mid thigh, though the material was flexible and easy to breathe in. Thin, sparkling silver straps held up the top of the dress. Harley twirled, she loved it, she had never been able to wear anything like it. Beaming at herself once more in the mirror, Harley made her way back to Eileen.
Eileen had hung the garments back on the rack, which she left in the middle of the room, and was seated on the couch "Come, sit down, you will tell me about the outfit you want made now" Eileen said, motioning to the seat next to her. Harley sat down quickly as Eileen pulled a pad of drawing paper and a small case of pencils from her bag.
"Well I want a sort of Harlequin outfit, because I'm Harley Quinn, see?" Harley laughed at her own joke before describing to Eileen what she wanted made. Eileens fingers were just as nimble when drawing as they were sewing. "This is what you want, no?" Eileen asked eventually, holding the drawing out for Harley to see.
The outfit drawn was perfect, a skin tight body suit made of a flexible, yet sturdy material. The outfit had long tight pants with one red leg, and one black one, along with a diamond printed on the outer thighs. The top half was long sleeved as well, half being black, and half being red to alternate with the pants of the body suit. Harley had added a diamond cut out to display a fair amount of cleavage. "It's perfect! You're a magician Scary Poppins" Harley exclaimed, before thanking Eileen and lunging at her to wrap her in another hug.
Eileen packed away her things, and shooed Harley off to inform the men that they were finished. Harley skipped down the hall, excitement radiating off her like rays from the sun. Knocking on Joker's office door, Harley waited for his call to enter, before bounding into the room.
Joker and Frost were seated around Jokers desk, both looked up as Harley entered the dim office, twirling in her joy "What do you think Mister J, I love it!" She exclaimed. Joker let out a loud wolf whistle, motioning Harley over as he grinned at her, his silver teeth shining. Joker pulled Harley to him, before dipping her into a kiss, ignoring Frost's presence "I like it, I like it, I like it" He growled "Isn't my Harley a beauty, Frost?" He questioned, eyes glinting "Your girl is beautiful" Frost confirmed cautiously, his face impassive.
"Scary Poppins is done now, I like her!" Harley said suddenly, having momentarily forgotten the reason she had entered the room in her excitement. Joker threw back his head as laughed loudly "Scary Poppins" He mimicked, continuing to laugh "You're a delight" He announced, twirling Harley once more as he stood. "Frost, take Eileen home, make sure she's paid. Harley and I have a little, uh, date" He said, his voice dropping and rising in such a way that it never failed to hold Harley's attention entirely.
Frost nodded at Joker and Harley, before exiting the room. "Go get ready, baby, Mister J has a couple calls to make before we go" He informed Harley, smacking her behind as she walked from the room. Harley laughed, and blew a kiss to Joker, who this time mimicked shooting in from the air before catching it. Harley laughed again as she walked from the room, she needed a shower before they were to go out, she decided.
Twenty minutes later, once Harley had dried and redressed, she rummaged through the drawers; briefly making mental notes on all the products she would need. After brushing her hair up into a high ponytail, for lack of any hair products or instruments, and brushing her teeth, Harley heard Jokers sing-song voice calling for her from the lounge, so she hurried from the bathroom, towards his voice like a moth to a flame.
"I'm all ready!" She announced, spinning in front of Joker, who stood by the elevator doors. "You look good enough to eat" Joker said, snapping his teeth at a grinning Harley. The elevator ride was short, Harley studied Joker in the mirrored walls of the elevator, his green hair was slicked backs smoothly, his lips were a deeper red than usual with his lipstick back in place. He was dressed in his usual tailored black pants, an olive green shirt was unbuttoned on his chest, his tattoos visible once again. A black holster wrapped around both shoulders with golden twin guns at his sides. He was glorious.
Joker was soon leading Harley through the garage towards a beautiful deep purple Lamborghini. The car had a stunning white leather interior, and Harley couldn't help but run her hands along the passenger door before she hopped in, bouncing in excitement.
Harley looked over to Joker as he slid into the driver's side seat. Joker revved the engine, grinning at Harley and running his teeth along his silver teeth "Let's roll, baby" He rasped. Harley beamed at Joker, laughing delightedly as he pressed a small remote on the car visor and sped out of the now open garage door into the warm night air.
Harley looked up at the twinkling stars in the dark night sky as Joker sped through traffic. Harley laughed excitedly along with Joker as they played a game of chicken with the oncoming traffic, watching cars swerve out of the way hurriedly, blaring their horns.
Joker pulled to a sharp stop behind a high end department store. He jumped out of the car and rummaged through the boot while humming. Harley hurried to his side, as he handed her a large gun, swinging another over his shoulder. "Let's go shopping, Harlequin" He sung, walking towards the front of the building. The glass windowed front gleamed until Joker raised his large gun and began shooting, the windows shattered into a glittering rain down to the cracked sidewalk, as Joker and Harley laughed.
Harley glanced down, remembering suddenly her bare feet "Puddin' I don't have shoes on" She complained, Joker rolled his eyes, but flashed his silver grin at her and swung her up abruptly into his arms bridal style. Harley giggled uncontrollably as he hummed loudly, carrying her over the shattered glass and into the building.
Putting Harley down he glanced around at a group of guards, Harley noted the guards running towards them from inside the store, having obviously been alerted by some silent alarm. "They're trying to ruin the fun Puddin'" Harley announced, raising her gun. Joker laughed maniacally as they began to gun down the guard's. Once they had dropped to the ground, Harley skipped forward to examine them.
Noticing a glinting on the wrist of one of the men, Harley leaned over and pulled the shining golden watch from his wrist. "Look Puddin' they got me a present!" She called, laughing delightedly like a child on Christmas. Joker whistled loudly "Getting my girl a gift? Why I ought to, uh, kill them" He growled, before cackling.
Harley spun around the dark store, examining the surrounding area. Expensive shoes and clothing was held in beautiful glass cases, some now splattered with blood or shattered entirely. Harley danced to the counter and pulled out a handful of large paper bags. Harley lost track of Joker for a while as she sung while skipping around the store placing anything that caught her eye into the bags. She took the time to slip on a pair of dazzling silver stilettos before making her way to the beauty counter.
Harley had the time of her life throwing makeup, hair products, and devices into one of the bags, it was the type of shopping spree she had always dreamed of, free. Harley began calling for Joker as she finished picking out all that she desired. "Puddin'?" She called "Come out, come out, wherever you are!" She heard the Joker yell from what sounded like the jewellery counter, followed by a loud laugh.
Harley skipped towards the sound of his voice, her bags swinging as she moved. Harley found Joker standing behind the jewellery counter, new expensive rings lining his long fingers. "Daddy made you something special, Harlequin" He announced, his shark toothed smile in place.
"Oh, what did you make me, Mister J?" Harley asked, sliding over the counter, to sit on the edge, where she leaned to kiss Jokers now jewelled hands. Joker held up a thick black choker, he had slid beautiful gold letters onto the leather, spelling out the word 'Puddin'. Harley shrieked in delight, jumping onto Joker and wrapping herself around him tightly as she kissed him deeply. "I love it! Oh Puddin', it's perfect!" She all but yelled.
Joker put her down and spun her so that her back was to his front as he pulled her hair to the side. He slid the necklace around her slim throat, fastening it he nipped at her ear "Now you'll always remember who you belong to" He growled playfully in her ear.
Harley was cut off from the deep kiss she had drawn Joker into by the sounds of police sirens. Joker laughed, slinging his gun further up his shoulder "Time to, uh, blow this joint" He rasped. Harley held onto his arm loosely as the walked to the back doors, crunching over the broken glass cases.
Opening the fire exit door, they walked out to Jokers glorious car that was gleaming in the weak light from the street lamps above. Harley bounced to her side, dumping the bags in the back of the car. She slid into her seat, watching as Joker grabbed a few objects from the boot of the car, before he moved to the driver's seat; watching The Joker move was like watching a panther run, powerful, graceful, and deadly. It was beautiful.
Joker tossed the objects into Harley's lap, which she could now see were grenades. "Light it up, baby!" He yelled, peeling out into the streets. As they passed the front of the store, Harley leaned out the window. The police cars were gathered in front of the shattered store windows, illuminated by the flashing lights of their cars.
Harley pulled the pin on the grenade and threw it firmly. The grenade landed by the front police car, which was soon engulfed in a loud, flaming explosion. Harley shrieked with laughter as she watched the chaos, it was addicting to watch, a rush that made her heart feel as though it could explode.
Two of the unharmed police officers ran for their amazingly still intact vehicle and were soon in hot pursuit of Joker and Harley. Harley slid back in from the window and reached into the back seat where she had thrown her large gun. Pausing to kiss a laughing Joker roughly she leaned back out of the window and began firing at the police car.
"Interrupting is rude!" She yelled, laughing madly as she punctuated her words with bullets. Her bullets blew out the front windshield, causing the police car to spin out of control, before screeching to a stop. Harley once again slid back inside the car, breathing heavily as she laughed. Joker pulled her arm so that she fell into him, his laughter accompanying hers in a manic duet as the sped into the dark night.