It's a little after 5am when Carla places her key in the lock and slowly opens the front door. She makes her way into the house and is instantly hit with so many memories; this was their family home. The place they'd brought both Willow and Pippa home to when they were first born.
'Carla...' Michelle says pulling her from her thoughts. She instantly glances up, tears streaming down her cheeks as she bites her bottom lip.
'I'm so sorry.' Michelle adds as Carla shakes her head.
'It's not fair, Chelle... We barely had a chance to get our head around this and now he's gone... He's gone and I'm all alone.' She sobs as Michelle wraps her arms around her.
'I know it's not fair. It's really screwed up but you're not alone, Car... You're always going to have me. I know I'm not Nick but I'm here.' Michelle says.
'You should get some sleep... Do you want me to bring your covers downstairs? I'll make you a bed on the sofa?' Michelle asks as Carla clings tightly to her.
'N-No... I'll go upstairs to my bed.' She replies.
'Are you sure? You don't have to do that just yet.' Michelle says.
'I want to.' Carla replies quietly.
'Okay... Steve and I will deal with the girls in the morning. Don't you worry about them.' Michelle says kissing Carla's cheek.
'Thanks, Chelle.' She whispers. She makes her way upstairs and stops outside her bedroom door. Just over twelve hours ago they were in this bedroom getting ready for a night in with the girls.
'As if nothing has changed.' She mumbles making her way into the room. Everything is exactly the way they left it; his pyjama trousers are neatly folded at the bottom of the bed, his jacket slung over the chair at her dressing table. Making her way over to the dressing table she runs her fingers over his jacket before pulling open a drawer and lifting a little white stick out.
They'd always wanted a third child, they'd been trying for a third child since Pippa turned 9 months but nothing seemed to be happening. As soon as they'd received the diagnosis they'd stopped trying, although clearly they'd been too late...
'Carla...' A voice says softly as they bedroom door creaks open.
'Mumma.' Another little voice adds causing Carla to smile slightly. She pushes herself into a sitting position as Kate enters the bedroom carrying Pippa.
'Hi, come in.' Carla says quietly, wiping her eyes as she sits up in bed with one of Nick's baggy t-shirts on.
'Stupid question, I know... But how are you?' Kate asks as Pippa reaches out for Carla.
'Ummm... I don't know.' Carla admits taking Pippa into her arms. She let's the little girl cuddle into her as she leans back against the pillows.
'Did you get any sleep?' Kate asks and Carla shakes her head.
'Everytime I close my eyes I see his face. I see how much pain he was in and the life slowly draining out of him. I hear those machines. He was so, so scared Kate and I couldn't do anything to make it better... I couldn't do anything.' Carla replies, tears streaming down her cheeks as she glances down at Pippa.
'I'm sure the fact that you were there with him made things a lot better for him.' Kate says placing her hand on Carla's knee.
'He asked me to never let the girls forget him... Willow probably won't even understand what's going on. Pippa's never going to remember him, she's too young...' Carla mumbles and Kate glances down at Pippa.
'Well we will just have to make sure Pippa knows what a fantastic, loving daddy she had then don't we?' Kate says and Carla sighs.
'I should probably come downstairs.' She says and Kate shakes her head.
'Not if you don't feel up to it. You can stay up here all day if you want.' Kate replies.
'I'll come down.' Carla says quietly.
'Hi, sweetheart...' Johnny says softly as Carla makes her way downstairs, followed by Kate who is carrying Pippa. Over the years things between the father and daughter have improved slightly. He's always been a grandfather to her children and they call him papa.
'Dad...' She sobs practically throwing herself into his arms. He glances at Michelle who has tears in her eyes before wrapping his arms around her.
'Hey, you're okay. I've got you.' He says hugging her tightly.
You wonder why the earth still moves
You wonder how you'll carry on
But you'll be okay on that first day when I'm gone