Author's Note: Okay, so I'm thinking I want to start on the part where Harley is taken soon (not this chapter). I'll cover the jail parts between her capture and Suicide Squad, because there a couple interesting things I want to address there. So do let me know if you want more or less of this Harley and Joker madness before Suicide Squad starts, otherwise it may be in the next couple chapters. I apologise for the wait, I'm a bit unsure of this chapter, I'm not sure how the characterisation was.
Chapter Twenty Two.
The months twisted and blurred into a year before Harley knew it. Harley considered this as she lay in bed beside Joker. Their bodies were tangled in the silk sheets, the hazy morning light casting shadows over their naked bodies. Harley trailed her fingers along Jokers tattoos as he lay with his eyes closed, he slept very little, but he slept more with Harley beside him, someone who would defend him should it be necessary while he slept seemed to ease his mind slightly, not that either would say it aloud.
"Puddin'" Harley rasped, her voice gravelly with sleep "We should do something special for the year anniversary of our start" She stated. Rolling onto her side, propping her head up on her hand. Joker opened his eyes slowly "Mmm yes. We should celebrate" He growled, running his pale hand through his mint green hair. Harley pressed her head onto Jokers bare chest, moving to lay almost sideways, her feet hanging just barely off the side of the bed.
"I think we should have some fun. I want to cause some chaos, no business just thrills" Harley decided, saying as much aloud. Joker laughed "All work and no play makes Joker a dull boy. Okay, what baby wants, baby gets" he sung in a slurred tune. Harley rolled to press kisses along Jokers tattoos, as Joker laughed madly.
Harley spent her free time that day in the gym, she had put a lot of work into using her gymnastics in both offensive and defensive situations, and Joker himself had taught her extensively about the vast range of weapons he had, and how to use them. At random points, Joker would test Harleys abilities by sparring with her himself, it often resulted in Harley bruised and battered, but the fights were thrilling. Joker would help Harley patch herself up if she needed.
A show of the trust between them, Harley considered as she sharpened her pink throwing knives, was that they only allowed each other to patch themselves up. Joker had kept a man under the club, in what Harley called his torture chamber, for a week before ending him when he had attempted to wipe a wound Joker had with a sanitising wipe. It had been interesting to see Joker cauterise the stubs where the man's fingers had once resided, though the smell was awful. Harley had sprayed her floral perfume around the room helpfully.
Joker had spent most of his day ordering his goons around, and organising supplies for the night. His genius may be primarily focused on what most considered 'evil' but it was undeniable. Harley was bouncing in excitement as she pulled her hair into pigtails, her eye makeup as beautifully dramatic as always, one eyelid red and the black to match her Harlequin suit. The suit was amazing, exactly as she had discussed with Eileen.
Harley put her suit on whenever she felt the need, her suit had seen her biggest events with Joker. She truly was The Harlequin when she put it on. Harley walked out to the lounge in her underwear as she had finished her hair and makeup. The lounge was lit brightly against the night sky, illuminating the display case that held her suit. Harley hummed as she reached to the back of the case and pressed in the pincode, before pulling her suit from the display model.
Harley pulled her suit on where she stood, shimmying into the tightly fitted material. Harley stretched in the suit, twisting her body to get used to the material. She then made her way back to her dressing room to slip into a pair of deadly black heeled ankle boots. Standing to examine herself once more in the mirror at her vanity, Harley popped a piece of her usual strawberry gum into her mouth and nodded in approval.
Making her way to Joker's office, she knocked before entering the dimly lit room. Joker stood by one of his many weapons racks as he collected various tools, he was dressed in a dashing deep purple suit, his elaborate cane leaning against a rack near him. Harley moved to stand beside him, kissing the side of his neck loudly to announce herself. Joker laughed "All dressed up for our date?" He asked. Harley beamed as she moved to collect her own weapons, definable from Jokers by the lack of any black or grey colouring.
"I'm excited, I want to play" Harley responded, pushing a pair of golden knives into either boot. Joker grinned at Harley, his teeth glinting even in the dim lighting, as he threw a pearl handled pink revolver to her. Harley kissed it before slipping it into a thigh holster. Once the pair were equipped with their usual weapons, and Joker had called Frosts cellphone to tell him to start loading up the trucks, they made their way down to the garage.
Joker's men were nowhere to be seen, Joker had sent them all out to their tasks, having wanted them to set things up ahead of time, but to stay out of the way for the majority of the evening. Harley was excited as she slipt into Jokers deep green Ferrari, the evening would be spectacular for the twisted couple, and would certainly be memorable for everyone else.
Joker sped in his usual manner through the clear dark night to 'Taste of Italiano', an expensive restaurant in the outskirts of the city. "I was thinking Italian, I had the place, uh, reserved" Joker said, screeching to a twisting halt in front of the restaurant. "I love Italian" Harley replied, playing along with their date night theme as she stepped from the car.
Joker took Harley's hand smoothly as he lead her to the doors. One of Joker's men stood outside the front doors, dressed in a panda suit and heavily armed, he opened the doors silently. The restaurant was elegant, beautiful white walls decorated lightly with various paintings and vases, the golden floors led to small white clothed round tables. The room was warmly lit, with flickering candles at each table casting shadows on the walls that seemed to dance in time to the soft Italian music playing.
Joker lead Harley to a table where he pulled a seat out for her in an exaggerated manner, before seating himself and whistling loudly. Two of Jokers masked goons lead two trembling middle aged men dressed in white chef's outfits to the table. "Ah seen to personally by the cooks how wonderful" Joker announced, throwing his hands out.
"Please let me go, I haven't done-" The trembling plump, bald chef began before being cut of by Joker tutting "Ahh, ahh, ahh. Lying isn't good, do it again and I'll cut your tongue out" he rasped, waving a gloved finger at the man. "Now I know some dirty little secrets about you two. Would you like to share with the class?" Joker continued.
The men remained silent. The other chef, a thin brunette man opened and closed his mouth, though made no sound. "No? How about I start then" Joker said finally, as Harley made herself comfortable in her chair. "We have chef number one, Dave. Now Dave, why don't you tell us all about how you tried to pay off your gambling debt in one of my esteemed clubs" Joker said. Dave turned pale at Joker's words, shaking his head frantically.
Harley pouted "I don't think he wants to share, Puddin'" she said. Joker sighed dramatically "I have to do all the work" He said, rolling his eyes. "Now Dave, you have been a bad boy, something I would encourage normally, but not so much when you owed me money. So you decided the best bet was to use the life insurance money from the tragic death of your wife and daughter" He announced, moving his hands cuttingly through the air.
"Ooh poor little Dave. But that wasn't a tragic accident, was it Davey?" Harley continued, moving to sit cross legged in her seat. All the colour had drained from Dave's face as he trembled like a leaf. He shook his head frantically "No, no, I didn't do it. I didn't mean to" He rambled. "Liars are bad boys, Davey" Harley sung. "Finish the story for Daddy, Harls" Joker said, draping himself backwards in his sturdy wooden chair.
"See, James" Harley turned to address the other chef, who was a pale green colour "Dave here swapped a gas pipe in his house, the clever boy swapped it out for a pipe that leaked dreadfully. Then he left his little wife and daughter to die while he drank at the bar, isn't that right Davey?" Harley continued. Dave sobbed loudly, though his pudgy face remained dry of tears, he did not respond.
Joker tutted "But James don't look so horrified, why don't we share with the class what you have done next?" Joker grinned widely. "Harley, baby, why don't you go on, I love it when you talk dirty" Joker rasped, before laughing loudly. Harley winked exaggeratedly at Joker "Of course, Puddin'. See James we know all about the little rivalry you had with your fellow chef, he was up for the promotion that you oh so wanted, wasn't he James?" Harley teased, blowing a bubble with her gum.
"So you went to his sweet little wife and told her that he was cheating. Tell us what she did James" Harley continued. James opened and closed his pale lips "Do what the pretty lady says Jamesy-boy" Joker chimed in. "She killed herself" James whispered, his voice hoarse with fear. Harley nodded "But that wasn't the end was it Jamesy" Harley went on, in a sing song tune.
"You told the poor widowed chef that it was all his fault. So he started to drink his problems away and guess what happened Davey" Harley said, turning her attention to the still shaking Chef "He got in a drunk driving accident and tore his head off, so messy" Harley finished, mimicking tearing her head to one side, her tongue hanging out the side of her mouth. James' hands were clenched into fists, his pale face crumpled like paper "I didn't think any of that would-" James was cut off by Joker slamming his hands onto the table "I said no lying!" He said loudly, before easing back into his seat, devilish grin back in place.
"Now you are both going to cook something lovely for my Harlequin and myself, whoever cooks better, lives. You don't win, and, uh…" Joker pulled a large glinting knife seemingly from out of nowhere and ghosted it across his neck, mimicking slitting his throat. The chefs glanced at each other swiftly "Hurry up, Puddin' doesn't like waiting to eat" Harley said, blowing a kiss to Joker as they both laughed loudly.
The chefs turned and all but ran back into the kitchen, accompanied firmly by the masked goons. Harley leant across the table carefully, kissing Joker fiercely before sitting back in her seat. The two spent the time drinking wine and laughing loudly at their own little games as the chefs came and went, delivering courses with trembling hands.
Harley popped another piece of gum into her mouth as Joker stood once the meal had ended, holding out a hand for Harley to clutch as she stood to join him. Joker lead Harley out back into the brightly lit kitchen, the gleaming surfaces accompanied by the quiet hum of the refrigerator and the bubbling of an industrial fryer. One of the goons jabbed a gun in the direction of the chefs, who stepped in front of Joker shakily.
"Want to do the honors, Mister J?" Harley questioned, swinging herself up onto a bench to sit on. Joker pulled a large knife from his jacket "A close call men, so, uh, eenie meenie minie… moe" Joker sung chillingly as he waved his knife between the two chefs. His knife drifted slowly to a stop on James "Our gracious loser!" Joker called. James attempted to step back, soundless pleads escaping his mouth, only to be stopped by one of the goons. Harley made mocking cheering sounds as Joker raised his knife and slit the man's throat. James dropped to the ground, blood gushing through his fingers clamped around his opened throat. The gurgling noises ceased as the pool of blood spread along the white tiled floors.
Dave took quick steps to the side, moving to stand by the industrial fryer of oil to avoid the spreading pool of thick viscous fluid. "Thank you Mister Joker, thank you" He stuttered, still a sickly white colour. "You know Puddin, I don't think he ever did pay you back" Harley sung slowly, slipping from the bench and gliding forward. Joker hummed, tapping the blunt side of the knife against the bench.
"I think you're right Harls. What a bad boy" Joker played along, grabbing a large pair of long thick metal tongs as he stepped forward. "No, please, I can get the money. I can-" whatever he was going to say was interrupted by Joker spinning the man viciously, and clamping the tongs around the back of his head. Daves face was then abruptly shoved into the bubbling oil of the fryer. Daves hands scrambled frantically against the sides of fryer, grasping for anything to pull himself up.
After a minute his muffled screams and scrambling hands stopped, Joker release the tongs, Dave's head remained floating in the oil, his lifeless body slumped over the fryer. "That smells much better that the fingers did" Harley said lightly, as she moved to loop her arm through Jokers "They do say all that fried food will kill you" Joker added. Harley stopped at James' body as they made their way to the door and unfastened the watch from his wrist, she wiped it along the clean part of his apron before fastening it to her wrist, where she would add it to her collection later.
Joker laughed loudly as he lead Harley to the kitchen doors, he spun her as he burst through the doors and made his way to the exit, Harley twirling ahead of him. Harley slid into the car smoothly as Joker sat behind the wheel and revved the engine. Harley beamed at Joker as she put her feet up onto the dashboard. "Can you believe it, Puddin'? One year since we got together officially" Harley sighed wistfully, her beaming smile still in place.
"I've got one more surprise planned to, uh, mark the occasion" Joker replied. After ten minutes of swerving through the dark streets, he pulled to a screeching halt at a scenic overlook. Harley stepped from the car, gravel crunching below her boots, as she looked out at the city of Gotham lit by the bright lights of the city. Overhead the dark night sky was illuminated by twinkling stars, the light wind blocked by the swaying trees either side of the overlook.
Joker joined Harley at the overlooks edge, where he pulled two things from his jacket pocket, a cell phone and a detonator with four buttons on it. Joker laughed as he handed the detonator to Harley, before dialing a number on the cellphone. "Gordon" Came the short answer from the phone. "Mayor! Guess who" Joker sung lowly, his voice rasping through the night.
"Joker. What do you want?" Mayor Gordon's reply came sharply. Joker laughed slowly "What do I want? Straight, uh, straight to the point I see. Well I have a little deal, you open up a bank, all police lining the area, or my little Harlequin blows up both bridges out of town and blast the walls to Arkham Asylum open. Turn this city into a little playground" Joker said, his voice still velvety. Harley laughed loudly, thrills of excitement running through her.
"You don't have the ability-" He was cut of by Harley pressing one of the buttons on the detonator "Wrong answer Mister Mayor" Harley teased, watching the night sky explode into flames as one of the bridges lit up before her. Swearing could be heard over the phone as Harley and Joker laughed, Harley wrapped her arms around Joker's neck "Look at the pretty colours, Puddin'" Harley exclaimed.
"The bank is open, no more explosions Joker" The Mayor said finally, panicked voices overlapping on his end of the phone. Joker grinned, his silver teeth flashing in the night. He hummed as he opened what seemed to be cameras set up at the bank on his phone, revealing the open doors, with Police cars outside on the street. "Good dog, Gordon" Joker said, before motioning to Harley.
Harley pushed two more buttons on the detonator, the bank exploded into the night, police scrambling for cover as they were pelted with debris and flaming heat. A wall to Arkham Asylum also crumbled into inferno, the explosions setting off fireworks into the night sky. Harley and Joker's laughter carried out into the night as Harley threw the detonator off the ledge before her.
More swearing carried from the cellphone as Harley kissed Joker deeply, the fire illuminating their passionate, violent kiss. "Joker you-" More panicked voices carried over the phone as Harley and Joker continued cackling "I left you a bridge for being a good boy" Harley spoke up, giggling into the phone. "Harleen Quinzel? You-" Harley sighed and rolled her eyes as she pelted the phone over the ledge, watching it plummet to the trees below.
Joker laughed ecstatically as he watched through the cameras of Arkham Asylum "Batman comes to save the day!" He called, watching the vigilante work with the guards to stop the criminals from escaping "Batsy ruins all the fun" Harley added, giggling. Joker slipped the phone into his jacket as he looked out at the fires still burning from their explosions, Harley kissed his neck quickly, their manic smiles still in place as they watched over the end to their date night.