It was a perfect spring day with rain in the morning and sun in the afternoon. One of the rarest of days, when Adam and Lindsay were both off of work and able to spend some real time together. They had originally planned to spend the day out, enjoying the weather, running errands and treasuring every unencumbered second. The rain and the slight chill had kept them inside, which was just as well because they were all together. Colton was loving the attention from both of them, and showing off his new skills of rolling over, at least from front to back. He would smile proudly, then wait for one of them to move him back to his stomach so he could perform his trick again.

The stereo was on, and they had been listening to Jimmy Eat World all morning while they leisurely played and read the paper. By ten though, it was really time to change into regular clothes and shed some of the slothfulness they had been practicing so far. Lindsay took Colton into his bedroom and stripped his pajamas off, then blew raspberries all over his stomach. He shrieked and tugged on her hair, giggles tumbling out of his mouth louder than she had ever heard them. She laughed too, finding herself wonderfully blanketed in his cries of happiness. The moments when his eyes lit up for her, when he reached out for contact, when he looked at her as if she was the only thing he would ever need, those were the moments she lived for, craved and cherished. She knew he would grow up and he wouldn't need her anymore, she wouldn't be his whole world, but she prayed that he would always give her that smile.

She changed his diaper and popped a red onesie over his head, chuckling at the way his hair stood up from the static electricity.

"Guess daddy forgot the dryer sheet in that load of laundry," she said, snapping his overalls as there was a knock on the front door. "I think you need socks today."

She settled him on the floor and went in search of socks, a task that had become quite the feat. Between the dryer and the cats making the socks into toys it took her a while to find two that matched.

"Okay little man, give me those piggies."

He chewed on his finger and watched her intently as she slid the socks on, then lifted him so he was standing up.

"Big boy," she commented, leaning in to kiss him. He patted her cheek and she pulled him against her chest, sighing when he curled into her, his head on her shoulder. Adam came into the room and quietly stooped down to drop a kiss onto her head.

"Who was at the door?"

"Oh it was nothing. I'm going to go for a walk."

She turned and looked up at him, her quizzical expression meeting his unreadable one.

"What's the matter babe?"

"Nothing. I just need to…"

She nodded with a sliver of understanding and he gave her a half smile.

"I won't be long."

"Kiss."

He smiled and obliged her then walked out of the room, leaving her worried and confused. She wasn't sure what had changed him from happy and relaxed to needing to get out of the house in the space of five minutes, but she was pretty sure she didn't like it.

"What's the matter with daddy?" she asked with a sigh. Colton rubbed at his nose in response. "Are you getting tired? That's what happens when you get up at the butt crack of dawn. You can take a snooze while I shower okay?"

He didn't protest when she placed him in the crib and tucked him in, then turned the light off and slipped from the room. She went back to the front room and looked around, trying to see if there was anything out of place that would indicate the sudden change in Adam's mood. There wasn't anything to tip her off, so she went back into the bathroom for a quick shower. Maybe she had been reading him wrong. Maybe nothing was bothering him and he really just wanted to take a walk. Maybe he had forgotten to pick up the milk on the way home last night and this was his way of covering for himself. She was sure that whatever it was, he would tell her soon enough.

She dressed and fixed her hair then went and peeked in on Colton before going into the kitchen. It was kind of late in the day for breakfast, but she wanted pancakes, and pancakes she was going to have. The music floated around her as she worked, the smell of the pancakes taking her back to Saturday mornings as a kid, sitting on the couch with her brothers and watching JabberJaws and The Smurfs, eating breakfast and hearing her parents talk faintly in the other room. It was consistency and security and the exact life she wished for Colton.

She was just taking the last pancake off the heat when the front door opened and Adam returned.

"Hey honey," she greeted, wiping her hands off. He smiled and crossed the room to her, taking her in his arms and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "You okay?"

"You're good to come home to."

"I'm glad, but are you okay?"

"Can we talk?"

"Always. You hungry?"

"Yep."

She handed him a plate and took one for herself, then followed him over to the couch.

"So what's going on?"

"That was my dad at the door."

She nearly dropped her fork and did drop her jaw in surprise.

"What?"

"Never in a million years did I think he would show up here."

"What was he doing here?"

"Apparently my gregarious Aunt Abby let slip where I was at. Not that it's been a secret, but he's never cared so no one ever told him. But get her going and she's going to tell you things that you never knew you didn't want to know. I mean she talks more and faster than the chicks on that one show you like and she's in her fifties. I can only imagine what it was like when she was younger and-"

"Adam."

"Sorry. I guess he wanted to see me and she told him I was here and married and had a kid and he thinks that somehow we're going to bond over that or something."

"Is that what he said?"

"Not really. He just acted like everything was normal, calling me son, asking how I was, wanted to come in and meet you guys. He didn't apologize or anything. It was like nothing ever happened, we'd just been apart for a while. You know, I haven't talked to him since I was thirteen, I haven't seen him since my college graduation, which he showed up to drunk by the way. It's like he just decides every ten years or so that he needs to drop in on my life to keep up appearances or something."

"I'm sorry baby," Lindsay soothed, running her hand over his arm.

"You know what I hate? Seeing him makes me so mad. Seething. To the point where I think I'm going to explode. And that's something I get from him. And that makes me even more mad."

"That's why you had to walk," she deduced, the pieces falling into place.

"He loves playing these head games and he does it so well that he doesn't have to do anything other than exist and he wins. He just shows up and suddenly I feel inadequate, I fear that I'm going to turn out like him, I don't want to be here because I'm afraid it's going to happen to me and I'm going to hurt you."

"Adam, that's not going to happen."

"Lindsay, you've never seen me mad," he rebutted, lifting his eyes to meet hers. "Not really. It doesn't happen much, and I don't think it's even happened in the last three or four years, but it can happen. It's the temper I got from my father. I worry that someday I won't be able to control it and you're going to be standing there and you're going to get hurt. I don't want that."

"It's not going to happen."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know you. I know how much you love me. You're aware of the issue and you won't let it happen."

"But how do you know?"

"Do you remember when you told me about your dad the first time?"

"Yeah."

"I'm not an idiot, Adam. I know that these things sometimes end up being cyclical. But that's not you. I know you, honey and that is just not who you are. And I trust you completely."

He sighed and rested his head on the back of the couch and she gently ran her knuckles over his chest.

"What are you thinkin' honey?"

"You know, even after all these years, even growing up and moving on, seeing him still makes me feel… small. Just the way he always wanted me to feel. I still believe it. I can still feel him hitting me, I can still hear him telling me that I'm worthless. And I don't think about it much, but it's there in the back of my mind and I think subconsciously I make decisions based on that. Maybe I could have done more with my life, you know? Maybe I could have done something with more of a challenge and I'd be making all this money right now. And maybe I settled for being a lab rat because that's as good as I thought I was. Maybe I could have gone to Yale or Harvard or Princeton, but I didn't think I was good enough, so I didn't even apply."

"Stop it."

"What? This isn't a pity party, I'm just saying-"

"Stop it! I hate hearing you talk like that. You are not small or worthless or any of the things that he ever said you are. You could have chosen whatever life you wanted and you wanted this one and you got it. That's more successful than a prize winning scientist or the guy who figured out that Windows Vista sucks. Adam, why do you believe what some loser told you years ago when everyone else is telling you something different?"

"I don't know, Linds."

"C'mere."

She pulled him into her arms, comforting him just as he had done for her so many times. She pressed kisses to his face while saying the words that she said so often, but that he needed to hear again more definitively and sure than she had ever said them before.

"You are amazing. You're perfect. No where on earth exists a man that is a better husband or a better father. And that's why I picked you. I love you. Do you get that?"

"I got it."

"I want you to stop hearing him. Hear me instead. Hear me."

He nodded and relaxed into her arms letting her be the strong and soothing one for a little while.

"I hate him," she whispered softly after a moment, scratching her fingers through his hair.

"I know. I do too."

"I hate what he did to you and your mom."

He was quiet for a moment, then sat up and turned to face her.

"Lindsay, if I ever turn out like him, promise me you'll take Colton and leave."

"Adam."

"Promise me."

She took his hand and rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes against the thought.

"I promise."

He crushed her into his arms and kissed her.

"Thank you."

They sat like that for a long time, every second feeling more and more like they could overcome anything thrown at them, whether it be outside forces or each other. They had the foundation and the strength to hold hands through it all and come out the other side even closer.