Two Weeks Later
"Merry Christmas, son," Mrs. O'Neill says, wrapping her arms around Jack as she gets off the plane.
"Wow, what was that?" she asks pulling back.
"What?" he asks.
"Your stomach just moved!" his mom says.
Right, how did he think he was going to get away with her not noticing? "Tacos."
"Tacos?" Mrs. O'Neill asks dubiously, "And it looks like you've gained a little weight."
"Well, tacos," Jack replies.
"You can't fool me."
"Ah… I can't?" Jack asks nervously.
"Nope, you've been eating all of Samantha's cravings with her, haven't you?"
"Yep, that's it," he says. His daughter kicks again, and Jack wants desperately to put his hand over his womb to feel his daughter moving. But his mother is already suspicious enough.
"Where is your wife and son?" she asks.
"Sam's actually out of town on a mission. She'll be home tomorrow. Jacob and Ty were very involved with a lego construction project when I left."
"Samantha is out of town? Isn't she on maternity stand-down?" his mother asks, concerned.
"Yeah, well it's not like she's in Bagdad."
"Where is she, exactly?"
Jack pauses, running through the letters and numbers of the real answer in his head, but doesn't say anything.
"Let me guess. Classified?" his mother says with a laugh.
"You're used to that, right?"
-0-0-0-
"Grandma!" Ty says, running up and hugging him.
"Hey, little man, I got you the best present ever."
"Mommy says the best present is the fact that Daddy is carrying my little sister," Ty says.
"Yeah," Jack covers, "We got one of those little backpacks where you can strap the kid up on your back when she gets here."
"Sorry, dad," Ty says, looking shocked.
"Hey, that's ok. The rule about not telling Christmas presents doesn't apply when you're telling someone other than who the gift is for," Jack says smoothly.
Jacob stares at his son-in-law in awe. Black ops has turned this man into a really good liar. He makes a mental note of this. He is pretty sure he can never believe anything that this man tells him.
"Grandma, do you want to color?" Ty asks.
"I would love it," she says, grinning at her grandson.
-0-0-0-
Ty screams in his sleep. Sam and Jack run out of their bedroom to comfort them. Of course, Sam doesn't bother with the posthetic stomach. She nearly runs into her mother-in-law in the hallway.
"Buddy, are you ok?" Jack asks, going into the room.
Ty blinks at his dad, "Yeah."
"You were screaming in your sleep," Jack informs him.
"Huh, I don't even remember it," Ty says.
"You want to snuggle?" Sam asks.
"Not really," Ty yawns, "Too tired."
"Ok, night, kid," Jack says, giving him a quick kiss before heading out of the door.
"Samantha," Mrs. O'Neill's voice stops her in the hallway, "You've lost some weight," she says pointing to her stomach.
"Ah… it's a very slimming nightgown," she says, nervously crossing her arms over her flat stomach.
Mrs. O'Neill turns her head to her son. "Tacos?" she asks, lightly touching her son's stomach. He certainly hasn't magically lost any weight.
He just looks at her.
"Jack, are you having a baby?" she asks.
"Of course not, men don't have babies," he says softly.
"No, they usually don't," she agrees.
"Mrs. Carter, it's classified," Sam says.
"You need to start calling me mom, honey, and my son is having a baby," she says with firm certainty.
"I am," Jack confesses.
She engulfs her son in a hug, and giggles as she holds him tight. "This is weird, right?" she asks.
He smiles at her, "Yes, very weird."
The Next Day
"Daniel, do you have somewhere to go for Christmas?" Janet asks.
Daniel wraps himself in the tightest self-hug she's ever seen. "I don't really do the whole Christmas thing," he says.
"Are you Jewish or something?" Janet asks in surprise.
"Well, certainly something. I grew up in a lot of different cultures. My parents were big believers in participating in whatever culture you were in. We did a lot of ceremonies when I was a kid, but nothing that was like Christmas. I was just planning on working over the break."
"Oh, Daniel, that is not going to happen. Please, come to my house."
"Really? Ah… ok, if you're sure that you don't mind," Daniel says carefully.
Two Days Later
Daniel wonders if he got the address wrong. There is a lot of noise coming from the house right now.
He rings the bell, and an old woman answers the door. This would be confirmation that he was at the wrong address if it were not for the fact that she had a remarkable resemblance to the good doctor.
"Ah… hello," he says awkwardly.
"You're that Dr. Daniel fellow. Come on in," she says, grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him into the room.
"Ah… Daniel Jackson, yeah. How do you know about me, exactly?" he asks.
"Why, little Jan told us all about you. You need some cookies, right? Christmas cookies, you poor little orphan," the woman says, pulling off his coat.
Daniel stands there with his mouth hanging open. Janet rushes up with cheeks aflame. "Grandma!" she scolds. Then she turns to Daniel, "I did not tell them all about you. I just mentioned you were coming, and this was your first real Christmas."
"Daniel!" another woman with Janet's features and an age half-way between her grandma and herself rushes forward to pull him into a tight hug. "I am so glad that you came."
"If I would have known, I would have brought more gifts," he says bashfully.
"Gifts certainly aren't necessary, and I'm sorry I didn't give you any warning," Janet says, nearly whispering, "I was just worried that you wouldn't come if you had a heads up."
"You would have been right," he whispers back.
"I just wanted to share my family with you," she whispers back.
"Bob! Daniel's here! Come up here, and take him down with the other men won't you?" Janet's mother yells down the stairs.
"Ah… Merry Christmas," Daniel says, handing Janet a brightly-wrapped bundle as he is ushered downstairs by a collection of women who seem to have come out of the woodwork.
"Ah, Danny-boy!" a stout man says as he runs up the stairs, "You ever shot a blow-gun?"
"Ah… in grad school, on a dig, the Yogua taught us," Daniel replies bashfully.
"Daniel knows what the hell he's doing, move aside," Bob proclaims.
-0-0-0-
At supper time, Daniel is put next to a girl who is about six years old. "Are you going to marry Jan?" the girl, named Annie, asks.
"What made you ask that question?" he asks nervously, looking over at the woman in question. She is looking exceptionally good tonight. She looks great in a white coat, powerful, but she looks even better when she was all dressed up.
"She didn't even bring her husband to Christmas until after they were married. Of course, those Christmas were far away at someone else's house. But I don't think she brought you just 'cause Christmas was here this year."
Daniel smiles, "Janet and I work together. We're friends. I'm sure she felt sorry for me, because I don't have any family, and my wife died not too long ago. She's a nice woman that just didn't want me to be alone for the holidays."
The girl stabs a huge piece of turkey with her fork. She jabs it into the ketchup with far more force than is necessary, and then she brings it up to her mouth, still all in one piece. She leaves a trail of ketchup across her face. "I don't think that is all of it," she proclaims.
"Do you want me to cut up your meat?" Daniel asks her.
"No, why?" she asks, truly confused by his offer.
"You're making quite a mess there, little one," he says, wiping the ketchup from the corners of her mouth.
"It's a Christmas-colored mess, though," she offers with a grin.
"Yes it is," he says with a smile.
Janet's sister leans toward Janet, "He's good with kids, huh?"
"Yeah, I guess so," Janet says, shoving some stuffing into her mouth.
"Doug was never very good with kids," her sister reminds her.
"It wasn't that he wasn't good with them. He just didn't like to be around them," Janet clarifies.
"Well, anyway, what's the deal with you and Doctor Delicious?"
"You're as bad as my nurses!" Janet hisses under her breath.
"Is that because I have nicknames for Professor Yummy-Pants, or for realizing that you like him?" Mary asks, taking a dish from her sister's hand.
Janet sighs, "Things with Daniel and I are a little complicated. We went on something that I thought might have been a date, but… I don't know. He avoided me for a while after that. And he included me in something. It was sort of work related, and there was a group. That definitely wasn't a date. But it also wasn't exactly something you'd take a stranger too."
"You invited him to Christmas," her sister points out.
"I did," Janet agrees.
"So that means something, right?"
Janet shrugs, "I just couldn't bear the thought of him being all alone on Christmas."
"But he came."
"Yeah, he came," Janet agrees.
"So that means something, right?"
"I don't know, Freud, I just really don't know."
-0-0-0-
"Hey, I'm going to take off," Daniel tells Janet much later that night.
"Let me walk to your car," Janet says, pushing past the group of cousins she's chatting with.
"Ooh…." A teenage boy says.
"Shut up," an aunt mutters to him, poking him in the ribs.
Daniel and Janet make their way out to the porch.
"You've got a big family," Daniel says.
"Yeah, sorry, they're a little bit crazy," Janet laughs.
"They're… great. I haven't seen an extended family like this since I left the Middle East."
"I really appreciate you supervising whatever they were doing with weapons in the basement. They needed adult supervision."
"I'm reasonably certain I was the youngest one there."
"Youngest, and most responsible, trust me," she says.
They've reached the car by now. "So, thanks for including me," he says, fidgeting.
"Any time, Daniel," she says.
"What an invitation, Doctor," he says, climbing into his car.
Janet blinks in surprise as he drives away. Daniel flirts? Since when?