Part one

Walk away

Chapter I

Make it go away or make it better,
isn't that what love is supposed to do?
(Make it go away, Holly Cole)

You take your mobile and smile at the name that appears, you immediately look up and search for her. Your eyes scan the entire library and finally you spot her hidden behind a stack of books. Your eyes meet for a brief moment and she winks at you, gazes never lasting more than a few seconds.

"I'm pregnant."

Your eyes widen in shock and you turn towards your best friend who immediately bursts out laughing at the sight of your face. The whole library turns in your direction, shushing the both of you. You glare at her, but she keeps on laughing with one hand covering her mouth.

"You should have seen your face. I thought your eyes were going to explode for real."

You shake your head, "One of these days you'll get us thrown out."

You see the screen of your mobile lighting up and you read the text with a smile on your lips. You look up to see her staring at you with an amused grin. You smile back.

"And now you're back to ignore me, great."

"I'm listening, Han. And I think it's really great, I can see how happy you are lately."

She smiles widely, "I am. Now we only have to find a lovely girl for the lovely you, so we can go on double dates."

"We", you underline it, "don't have to do anything."

"You are no fun."

She sighs and you simply smile. Your phone lights up again, another text from her. Your smile grows wider. You cannot wait for tonight either.

"Seriously, though. It has been a while since you dated someone."

"I'm not looking for a relationship, Han."

"It's our last year here, you should have some fun! There is this girl that I know that..."

"I'm not interested."

You cut her off before she tries to set you up with some girl. Last time didn't go that well. It was the worst date you've ever been on. And you're actually not interested. Your interest lays in only one person.

She sighs again, shaking her head, "Like I said you're no fun."

"I promise you I'm having my fun, okay?"

Fun isn't the word you would use to describe what you two have. At least, not on your part. You don't know what all this mean for her. Sometimes you just want to ask her, but you're afraid of what her answer would be. You're scared she could figure out your feelings and just walk away.

"Fine, but if you change your mind..."

"You'll be the first to know."

She smiles convinced and she starts to gather her things as you do the same. Honestly, you don't see yourself ever changing your mind, but there's no need for her to know that.

You smile one last time at her before exiting the library and she smiles back warmly. Hanna keeps on gushing about the guy she's dating. She goes on and on about him, speaking so quickly that the only thing you can do is nod. They met a few months ago and they've been seeing each other since then. You are really happy for her. After all she went through with Travis, she deserves to be so happy.

"So, when I get to meet him?"

"Soon, very soon", she smiles dreamily, "I'm sure you'll get along."

"You're early."

"Should I come back later?"

Your smile dies. She rarely uses this tone with you. Something surely had to happen with her parents.

"No", you shake your head, "I was just surprised. I'm glad you are here, come in."

She nods and enters, without looking at you. You close the door behind her, breathing deeply, and then you turn towards her. You approach her slowly and, when she doesn't back away, you kiss her gently. You hear her sigh into the kiss and you pull away. A tentative smile appears on your lips, "What?"

"I don't know how you do it."

You cock your head to a side, but she doesn't elaborate further. You furrow your eyebrows, confused, but she just smiles and kisses you.

"I'm sorry I was rude before", she whispers between the kisses.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Her entire body stiffens and you just know you've said the wrong thing. You shouldn't have said anything. You bite your lip and look at her, her eyes are filled with anger again, you shift your gaze and look down. You hate it when she's hurting and you can't do anything about it.

"I don't want to talk about it. Actually, I don't want to talk at all."

She starts kissing you in all the right places to make you forget about everything or to, at least, make you drop it. You mentally sigh and just give in. You let a small moan escape your lips and she takes that as an encouragement to continue like that. She takes off your shirt and quickly unclasps your bra, throwing them away. You do the same as you move towards the bed, not breaking the kiss. Her hands are rough and her kisses are desperate. You know what you have to do, it's not the first time she has gotten this aggressive. You let her have complete control. She needs it, she needs it for reasons you don't know about, but you give it to her anyway.

"Am I hurting you?"

You only shake your head and you kiss her to assure her nothing is wrong. She pulls away and looks at you, still doubtful.

"Are you sure?"

"No talking, remember?"

You reconnect your lips together and then you let her take over. She slows the pace. It's a minimal change, but you feel it nonetheless. One of the things you like the most about her is her always being considerate, no matter what she feels or needs. But you want to give her everything. Every part of you is hers to take. And she must have understood that, because that's exactly what she does. But what pushes you over the edge is the way she's looking at you. It's not something she does often, she always tries to hide from you, but not this time. Her intense stare is raw and pure, and this is the most genuine her you've ever seen. Right now she's not who she pretends to be, this is the real her. And it's all in her eyes.

She holds you in her arms as you catch your breath. She leaves soft kisses on your shoulder and you smile happily. You turn to her and press your lips on hers. She pulls away and stares at you. She strokes your cheek and you lose yourself into the gentle touch. You wish you could stay this way forever.

"What are you thinking about?"

You blush and smile shyly, "I don't want you to go."

"I can stay a bit longer, sing you to sleep."

"As long as you don't sing that tremendous song again."

She chuckles with you, "I still don't get what your problem is with my take on 'I kissed a girl'. I did kiss a girl, and I liked it very much."

But her boyfriend would mind. You know she needs to make fun of it not to think about the entire situation, so you let her. She already has enough pressure on her, you don't wish to put one more weight on her. So you just smile and shake your head. She holds her arms up in surrender and smiles, asking you what you would like to hear.

"Something about you. Anything."

She stiffens and looks at you petrified. Maybe you pushed her too far. You stroke her hand gently and she relaxes slowly, then she nods. She starts singing a song you don't know, so you pay more attention to the lyrics, you know she won't give you any explanation. Her voice breaks continuously and that breaks you. You know to whom this song is dedicated and that crushes you. You wish things were different. You wish she didn't have to feel this way. You tear up as she tries to hold back her own tears. You want to hold her, but she won't let you, so you hold her hand and kiss it. She has you. You just wish you could warm it up for her.

She takes you by surprise when she suddenly pulls away and she starts gathering all her clothes and begins to dress, as you stare at her frozen. You only manage to mutter her name softly.

"I have to go. I can't... I... I'm sorry."

She's out of the door before you can open your mouth to say something. You let yourself fall into the bed and you curse yourself. You shouldn't have asked. You pushed her too far. She's gone now and trying to go after her would be futile. She's a way better runner than you are.

Your mobile beeps. You manage a little smile despite the tears on your face. She sure warms it up for you.

"You make it less cold."

Author's note: Hey, everyone. As you see I decided to give this a shot. I'm sorry about the delay. I wanted to update this regularly, but with what it's going on with the show I don't feel very inspired... But I have the entire story planned out, so I don't when, but chapters will come.
If anyone wants to know, the song Paige sings is World so cold by Three days grace.

IMPORTANT THINGS: Guys, Gasping is completed. I gave my reasons in the final author's note. So go read that.
I'm going to change the title of the story in a few days, just an heads up. It will be called 'Chains'.

I will be waiting for your thoughts. Express your opinion.

Special 'hi' to Herhers, who managed to survive without losing her patience. Hi, H.

See you someday,

Meek.