A/N: I don't own Merlin. That was the luck of the BBC.
So there was a bit of a delay with this chapter.
The tone wasn't quite right, the dialogue was clunky, the tone wasn't right again, the characters were too out of character…
I had a fight with Word (basically lost 500+ words due to me being an idiot), and I got struck down with one of those niggly colds that won't properly go away and, weirdly, a ton of self-doubt. I think because I've been trying to write out the next few chapters and they just seem pretty aimless, and the setting has really changed all of a sudden. It's a lot easier to write when there's just that one place they've been in since chapter 1.
I know this is a cliché, but your reviews really do mean a lot to me, they really helped spur me on to edit and publish this.
Arthur's contemplation was interrupted with the changing of guards, Leon switching places with Percival who was taking up vigilance by one of the trees that offered the most protection. Both Leon and Elyan were quick to fall asleep, exhausted and hungry from their efforts and their ordeal. None of them had slept nor eaten particularly well whilst being held by Drin, they'd received the same rations as Merlin, murky water and desiccated bread, and they had travelled at quite a pace to cover enough ground in an effort to evade recapture whilst they rested. However, even in their tiredness, Arthur and Gwaine couldn't bear to sleep when Merlin could worsen at any time.
"What now?" Gwaine scanned Merlin for any more injuries that would need treatment, but to his relief could see none.
"Now we wait. We can't do anything else for him with what little we've got. He needs someone who knows what they're doing."
We need Gaius.
The thought wouldn't leave Arthur's head, especially as he glanced over to Merlin who'd grown silent, save for the haggard breaths coming in and out of his mouth.
"Then I believe this is where we part ways." Gwaine uttered, staring thoughtfully into the dwindling flicker of orange flames as the fire died away. Daybreak was dawning, the darkened sky becoming a calming blend of orange, pink and blue pastels, and the sun was beginning to rise, warming the land. "I'm grateful to you for treating him and helping to get him away from that wretched place, but I can take him now." Gwaine nodded at Arthur. He'd been surprised when Arthur had caught Merlin when he'd first collapsed and helped Gwaine carry him out of the tower without a word, and even more so when Arthur had begun to treat Merlin's wounds, neither of them physicians.
"And you're going… where?" Arthur was incredulous, believing Gwaine wouldn't last five miles carrying Merlin on his own, with no supplies or an idea about where he was going.
"To Ealdor I think, he has family there, does he not?" Gwaine's tone was far too nonchalant for Arthur's liking; he was treating this as if it were any other conversation, and not the fate of their friend.
"He does." Arthur gave a slight nod, reluctant to carry on the conversation. "But he needs the knowledge of a physician. You know that Gaius is the best physician for miles." It was the truth that Gaius was considered one of the most knowledgeable physicians of his time, and he also knew how strong the relationship was between Merlin and Gaius. The old man wouldn't forgive Arthur if he came home and recounted the tale, only to reveal he'd left Merlin with Gwaine to make the arduous journey to Ealdor, where he'd receive basic medical care at best, with their supplies gravely lacking.
"Then Gaius can be sent for to come to Ealdor, he may be elderly but I'm sure he can make the journey." Gwaine countered, waiting for Arthur's next move.
"How are you two going to get there? I'm assuming Merlin's navigating." Arthur slightly regretted the throwaway comment he'd made, but it was the truth. Merlin would be next to useless at walking, let alone keeping track of where they were and pointing Gwaine in the right direction.
"You think I never passed by Ealdor on my travels?" Gwaine smirked, cocking his head.
"And tell me, oh mighty traveller, how you're going to get to Ealdor from wherever the hell we are?" Arthur disparaged, thinking his knight to be delusional.
"No," Gwaine emphasized pointedly, "I'm going to ask someone when we get to the nearest village." His tone was deliberately slow and provoking, as if speaking to a small child, which only sought to wind the king up further.
"The next village could be three days walk!" Arthur exploded in exasperation, surprised his outburst didn't wake the sleeping knights, nor alert Percival.
"So could Camelot! There could be a village half an hour's walk from here." Gwaine retorted with equal temper. He continued after a beat, letting the air settle. "All I want is for Merlin to be safe." Gwaine emphasised his seriousness, stressing the word 'safe', another blow straight to Arthur's chest.
"Safe?" Arthur repeated numbly, the implication of the word hanging thickly in the air. "Do you think Ealdor is the better choice for him than Camelot? You think he'd be safer in Cenred's lands than mine?"
Every word Gwaine spoke made sense. If Merlin returned to Ealdor then Arthur wouldn't have to make the anguishing decision about his fate, neither option, be it banishment or pretence, were particularly inviting. But Gwaine wanted to take Merlin away from him, something Arthur knew he couldn't let happen. He still had to have that long discussion with Merlin about his magic, he was intrigued and beguiled by the servant, and he wanted to repair their damaged relationship so badly. He didn't want to lose Merlin, the thought of living day to day without his smart remarks and infectious grin didn't bear thinking about.
"I do. Until you prove me otherwise, and assure his safety, I do." Arthur simply scoffed and shook his head. "Just let me ask you something princess; throughout this whole ordeal, did you ever consider executing Merlin?" Gwaine looked at Arthur, already knowing the answer but he wanted the king to acknowledge that Gwaine wasn't acting on a personal vendetta, or trying to hurt him, but that he was doing this for Merlin and his safety.
Arthur looked crestfallen, his shameful silence speaking a thousand words. The thought had crossed his mind for a fleeting moment in his hurt and anger when Merlin had first been outed, but he'd banished it to the depths of mind. Nevertheless, it had been there.
"Then you know that I can't leave him with you, I have to take him away from Camelot, away from your authority." Gwaine gave Arthur an imploring look, running a hand through his dark locks. "What's to say one day you won't just snap and have him hung? Or burnt?" The worry for Merlin was evident in his eyes, but Arthur wouldn't accept Gwaine's reasoning.
"Look, the thought of Merlin's…" Arthur couldn't follow Merlin's name with 'execution', he just couldn't. "The thought was momentary and I was angry, I didn't mean…" Arthur didn't know why he was trying to explain himself to Gwaine, he was the king after all, and could simply order the two of them to return to Camelot with him. However, he knew in his heart that he would not win Gwaine with commands.
"But you thought it Arthur!" Gwaine shot back, and Arthur was stunned to hear him call him Arthur. It was an extremely rare occurrence, emphasizing the severity of their situation. "Yes, it may have been in your mind for only a second, but what's to stop it happening again, when you've got an army at your disposal? You can't take it back if he's dead."
"I would never!" Arthur was incensed at the accusation. He knew deep in his heart he could never hurt Merlin; the most he'd considered was banishment for life. Apart from that fraction of a second he'd never be able to take back. Arthur was not going to lose Merlin over half a second of stupid thought.
"Really?" Gwaine pushed. "And how can you be so sure of that?"
"Because he's my friend! I don't care that he has magic." The words slipped out of Arthur's mouth before his brain had time to catch up, leaving the king stunned as the thought slowly sunk in. I can't let him go. "I don't care… that he has magic." Arthur repeated, confirming it to himself, and to Gwaine.
"You're serious?" Gwaine squinted at the king, trying to judge whether we was telling the truth or if this was just some kind of elaborate deception.
"I am." Arthur nodded with a heavy breath. "If there's one thing I know, it's Merlin, even if he kept something this big a secret. There's just one thing that I still can't get my head around."
"What's that?" Gwaine mused.
"Those manacles, they were suppressing his magic, that's why he couldn't fight back against Drin. I've seen those manacles before, my father kept an abundance of them in the cells." Arthur purposely ignored the indignant looking Gwaine was giving him. "Not once did a sorcerer break free from them. They prevent any kind of spells or enchantments from taking hold."
"But Merlin did." Gwaine finished, shaking his head out of utter amazement. "He must be more powerful than we imagined."
"I can't believe it, all this time. He's been hiding away all this time." There was a note of sorrow in the king's voice. "It makes you wonder all the things he's…"
"Shh!" The king was silenced by Gwaine raising his hand, though Arthur was so caught up in his moment of realisation he didn't immediately clock the growing panic in Gwaine's eyes.
"Gwaine, may I remind you that I am the king of Camelot, and you better not have-" Arthur growled, but was unceremoniously shushed once more, however this time took note of Gwaine's dread.
The king and his knight turned around in sync as they both noticed the absence of a certain sound that had been filling the air for the last couple of hours. The horrific reality dawned on them as they reached the body lying next to the fire.
Merlin wasn't breathing anymore.
I'm a horrible person and I know it.
On the bright side, Arthur's less of a prat, and I am going to release 15 almost immediately, so you know, swings and roundabouts, right?
*runs and hides from angry mob*