Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Two

"Fuck me," I groaned, refusing to open my eyes.

"Again?" Edward's amused voice croaked next to me.

"You. What are you doing in my bed?" I asked, needing water and a toothbrush and a breakfast burrito or ten.

"Your bed?" He poked my shoulder. "You're in my bed."

I opened one eye. Yeah. I was in his bed. I closed my one eye.

"Awful decision on my part." I yawned. "I forgot that your window faces east."

It was quiet for a second and I assumed he had fallen back asleep. "What are you talking about?"

I peeked at him with one eye. "The sun. It hits your window first in the mornings. My window faces west."

"For the sake of everyone you have to come into contact with today, I'm going to advise you to go back to sleep," he drawled. "Unless you wanted me to fuck you again. I'd rather you stay awake for that."

I laughed, or choked. I still needed water. "I can hardly blink right now, so just pretend I'm rolling my eyes at you."

"So, you're allowed to do the hungover ramble, but I can't?"

"You're just trying to creep me out so I'll get out of your bed. You forget I'm immune to your creepiness by now."

"You're good."

I gave him a sleepy smile. "I know your games, Cullen."

"No, I mean, like, you're good in bed. Mind blowing. You rocked-"

"Okay, fine. I'm leaving." His laugh was scratchy and too loud for how much tequila we had consumed the night before. I threw the blanket off and thought seriously about getting up. Cool air hit my body, which was clad in Edward's clothes, and I shivered, realizing I was fine where I was.

"You have no intention of leaving my bed, do you?" I ignored his smug smile and rest my head against the pillow. "So, how's that breakup hangover?" He annoyingly tugged on a strand of my hair.

"Ugh." I pushed his face with my hand. "Keep your hands to yourself."

"You tried to make out with me last night," he teased, pushing my hand away.

I thought back to the night before, knowing there was a chance he was right. "You're such a liar," I mumbled anyway.

"Okay, yeah. I'm lying. But I did stop you from attempting to drunk dial Peter. I'd say it was a successful night."

I gasped. "No! What?"

Edward laughed at my response. I glared, watching him tiredly run a hand over his mouth before stifling a yawn. "Yeah. You wanted to bitch him out and make him feel bad for breaking up with you."

"Well...that actually sounds like a reasonable excuse to drunk dial someone. Why did you stop me, punk?"

"Because I didn't want you to do that to the poor guy," he said simply.

"Poor guy?" I screeched, sitting up, dramatically clasping my hands to my chest. "I'm the one who got broken up with!"

"Exactly. He's clearly not in the right state of mind." He grinned, tugging on my hair again.

"By the way," I waved my hands around his face, "Worst sleeping partner ever," I hissed. "You wake up too early, you talk too much, you pull my hair-"

"You don't like it rough?" he asked, not even cracking a smile.

I stared at his bare chest, reached over and twisted his nipple. "No, but you do, right?"

"Ow! Fuck!" I yanked my hand back before he could slap it. Instead, he laughed, rubbing a hand over his chest.

"It's annoying when someone messes with your hungover ass, huh?"

"You just gave me a titty twister. How very middle school of you."

"It was the best I could come up with on the spot, okay?"

He smiled, playfully narrowing his eyes. "Okay."

"Since I'm fully awake, I guess I have to actually leave now. Thanks for letting me crash." He flinched as I lifted my hand, but I gently pinched his cheek instead.

Edward grabbed my wrist, keeping my fingers on his face. "No problem. You were a very respectable young lady. I can't wait until our next sleepover."

"Respectable young lady?" I snorted, pulling my hand from his grip. "I'm willing to bet I was a hot mess. Come down to the apartment if you want coffee," I offered, leaving the bed. "If you do come over, you should make your famous scrambled eggs."

"That's all you use me for." He sighed dramatically, pretending to scowl. "You claim to love my eggs because you're too lazy to make them yourself."

"What?" I was about to feign confusion, then realized I was too tired and didn't care. "Okay, that's true. Laziness aside, you have no idea how incredibly un-edible my eggs are."

"I think the word you're looking for is 'inedible'."

"I know, but the phrase is 'incredible edible egg', so I figured more people would understand what I was trying to say if I said un-edible."

An annoying smirk crept over his face. "You were planning to use that joke on people other than me?"

I stole a pair of his socks from the floor. "Well, yeah..."

"You overestimate how much people like you. I think you should keep the egg jokes between us."

Scanning the mess of his room, I searched for my cell phone. "You never let me have any fun."

"If I let you have what you consider to be 'fun', you wouldn't have any friends."

"But I'd still have you." I smiled, grabbing my cell phone from his dresser.

"You'd still have me," he agreed softly, sitting up. "Anyway, I'll shower then grab some coffee from you before I head to work."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll see you later."

A/N: Y'all make me so happy. Thanks for reading!