"O'Neill, General Hammond has cleared me to see part of your world, provided I can secure a fellow member of Stargate Command as an escort," Teal'c says.
"Yeah? It's about time, where do you want to go with me?" Jack asks with a wide grin.
"I have a selection of cultural experiences I would like to partake in," Teal'c says, holding up a note.
"Museum, church, a school board meeting?"
"I wish to experience all vital aspects of your culture," Teal'c replies.
"I wouldn't call any of these vital aspects. Why don't we go to a movie or a national park?"
"I have seen many movies on your television. And I have seen the wonders of many worlds."
"Ok, true, but these things are all boring."
"If you do not wish to accompany me, O'Neill, I shall wait for Daniel Jackson to return."
"No, that's ok, we'll go out today and experience culture. I did promise you that I would show you my culture."
"I am especially interested in experiencing the worship of gods which are no Goa'uld," Teal'c says.
"Well, that I can understand," Jack says.
The Next Day
"I hope you didn't mind that I brought along Ty. He, too, wants to participate in this cultural experience," Jack says, as he pulls up to the gate where Teal'c is waiting for him.
Teal'c nods his head slowly, and gets into the passenger seat.
"I read the Bible in preparation for this event, is anything else required?"
Jack's jaw drops, "You read the entire Bible?"
"Indeed."
"You're going to be fine, most of the people in the church probably haven't even done that."
-0-0-0-
By the time they arrive at church, there are only a few minutes left before the service starts. They slide into a seat next to a young women. She shoots them a grin. Then everyone stands to begin the first song.
After the first song the pastor talks for a little bit, and then all the people in the church start shaking hands with one another. The girl sitting next to the SG-1, contingent moves over quickly, and extends her hands to Teal'c.
"Hi, I'm Shelby," she says.
"I am Teal'c," he replies.
"Interesting name. I've never heard it before"
"My name is a synonym for strength," Teal'c replies.
"It fits you," she says with a nod of her head.
"Jack O'Neill," Jack stays extending his hand.
"Nice to meet you," Shelby replies. "And who is this little one?"
"I'm Ty, and I've got a baby sister," he announces.
"You do, huh?" she asks.
"Yep, but she stayed at home with Grandpa 'cause she's a baby, and babies can't be good in church. Daddy doesn't think I can be good in church either, but he's wrong. Don't you think so?" Ty asks, showing a bit of insecurity at the end.
"See, I don't know you yet, kid. You're going to have to prove to me that you are old enough to be a good kid in church."
Just then the pastor begins speaking again, and the conversation falls silent.
-0-0-0-
"So, are you going to the fellowship afterword?" Shelby asks, once the final song has been sung.
"Ah… I don't think so, Teal'c has a pretty big list of things we're supposed to be doing, and we just didn't get very many of them done yesterday," Jack says.
"O'Neill, is this not part of the cultural experience?" Teal'c asks.
"Right, let's go eat," Jack says.
"Food? Do they have cake?" Ty asks.
"I don't know, bud, but it's only ten o'clock in the morning. I'm pretty sure you aren't having cake."
"But Daddy, I was really good in church," Ty whines.
"It's true, you were, but there isn't going to be any cake. There will, however, be caramel rolls, which are a totally legitimate breakfast food," Shelby says, with a grin toward the boys.
"Caramel rolls? That's one of Teal'c's favorite foods from the mess," Jack says.
"Ah, so you guys are Air Force. I can see that."
"I am not a part of your Air Force," Teal'c replies.
"Teal'c is a consultant with us, he's not from America," Jack explains, giving the man in question a glare for the amount of information that he is revealing.
By now the group is filling their plates up with the pot luck brunch. "So what do you do for a living?"
"Well, I guess that depends on the time of day. I am an RA for my building, and I waitress at a dive diner, and of course I'm in college."
"What's your major?" he asks.
"I was unaware that individuals not affiliated with the military have rank," Teal'c says in confusion.
"No, it's a different kind of major, Teal'c. It means what she's studying in college."
"Nursing," Shelby replies.
"Emma's mommy was a nurse, but she lefted Emma," Ty replies.
"Oh, that's horrible, is Emma your sister?" Shelby asks.
"No, she's my friend from daycare. But I don't go to day care 'more 'cause Grandpa isn't sick. So now she's just my friend," Ty replies.
The group sits down at one of their tables. "So what country are you from?" Shelby asks.
"Chulak," Teal'c replies.
Jack shoots him a glare.
"Do you consider yourself an expert on this religion?" Teal'c asks abruptly.
"Expert? No, but I know as much as the next person," she reveals.
"May I ask you some questions about the inconsistencies in this book?"
"Sure, but you know it's not really about the inconsistencies, it's about the story, and it's about the love," she explains.
"I am intrigued by the concept of a loving god," Teal'c says, looking seriously at the young women. "Where I come from, the gods show no mercy."
"What is your religious background?" she asks.
"I used to be in service of Apophis."
"Apophis, like the Egyptian god? I wasn't aware that people still worshipped him. And what does it mean, that you were in his service? Were you like a priest, or something?"
"You know what, Teal'c, I just remembered you were due back on base," Jack says.
"You previously informed me that we were going to teach me to skate," Teal'c says quickly.
"Another time," Jack says, lifting his son away from the half-finished plate and making for the door.
"Will you come again?" Shelby asks Teal'c.
"Indeed," he says, bowing low to her before Jack grabs him by the elbow to force him out of the building.
Once they are in the parking lot Jack hisses, "What the hell was that?"
"I believe that was a worships service dedicated to the benevolent god, Yahweh."
"I'm not talking about that, I'm talking about the giant leak you had going on there," he says.
"I did not notice the presence of any water, O'Neill," Teal'c replies, sans facial expression.
"You had a bit of on honesty problem back there didn't you? Chulak? Apophis? What were you going to tell her next, the fact that you were an alien?"
"I do not understand why honesty is a bad thing."
"You just can't tell them anything classified," Jack says, jumping open the doors to the pick-up.
"O'Neill, is my whole life classified?" Teal'c asks.
Jack pauses, and sighs before he says, "Yeah, bud, pretty much."
-0-0-0-
"Pssst, Daniel!" Cassie whispers, as she sits next to her father-figure in a crowded auditorium.
He leans his ear now so he can hear what she whispers to him.
"He's telling a lie," she whispers, "Nirrti isn't an Indian goddess, she's a Goa'uld."
"I know that, but they don't," Daniel whispers back.
"You should tell them," she says.
"Remember, the Stargate is a secret," Daniel whispers back.
"But they are making her sound like she's such a good person," Cassie says in a whining voice.
"Do you want to go outside?"
Cassie shakes her head, her eyes suddenly brightening, "There really is a world untouched by the Goa'uld."
Daniel nods her head, "And maybe one day there will be a whole universe that is free of the Goa'uld."
The Next Day
Cassie grips Daniel's hand as they stand in line for the Dumbo ride. She lets out a deep sigh.
"What's wrong, little one?" he asks, expecting an answer that has something to do with having to go to the bathroom, or being hungry.
Instead she says, "Can we go home yet?"
"Home? You want to go home?" he asks in shock. "You do realize that we are in Disneyworld, every little kid's dream, right?"
"Every kid from… you know, America," she says, catching herself just before she said Earth.
"But you love Disney movies."
"Sure, movies, when everything stays on a nice little TV screen, and you don't have to wait hours on black ground in the scorching sun to ride on things that make your stomach hurt."
"Cassie, we've been here four hours, why didn't you say something sooner?" he asks, bending down in front of her.
"You were so excited," she says simply, "But now the heat is starting to give me a headache as well as the rides giving me a stomachache. I don't think it gets this hot where I am from."
He picks her up, and starts walking backward out of the line, "Tell me if you don't want to do this, because we can just go sit in the hotel room if you want. But I know of a couple of really good museums in the area."
Her head perks up from his shoulder, over which it was drooped, "Seriously? There are museums in other places besides just Denver?"
"There are museums all over the world, darling," he says.
"And they have the special cool air don't they?"
"I'm sure they do, love."
"And do they have ice cream?"
"How about we get ice cream here before we leave."
"Is there going to be a really big line for it?" she asks with a skeptical frown.
"Strangely, no, the food lines are much shorter than the lines for the rides."
"Ok, then," she says, grinning as they approach the bench where Janet was waiting for them. "Mom, I hate Disneyworld, but it's ok, because there are museums in Florida!"
Everyone within ear shot turns to stare at the little girl with confused looks on their faces.
"My dear, sometimes I think you are Daniel's kid far more than you are mine," she says, taking the child from his arms into her own.
Six Days Later
"O'Neill, would you not accompany me to a religious service this weekend?" Teal'c asks.
"You want to go to church again? This wouldn't have anything to do with a certain blond would it?"
"Shelby was most helpful in my quest to understand Earth culture," he replies.
"Ok, sure, as long as that is all that is, because you have to have what, thirty years on her?"
"I believe the number to be closer to fifty years."
"Fifty years? Really, you're over seventy?" Jack asks in shock.
"Indeed."
"Wow," Jack says with raised eyebrows, "Ok, off to church we go."
The Next Day
"You have injured yourself," Teal'c says, as he shakes Shelby's hand during the church service the next day.
"It's nothing," she says, trying to pull her short sleeves over large and four-appendaged bruise just before her elbow.
"It is a substantial injury," Teal'c insists.
"I just ran into a wall," Shelby says.
"Don't you mean a door?" Jack asks, with sarcasm obvious in his voice.
"I believe this injury was caused by a human hand," Teal'c says, looking at Shelby.
"I'm just clumsy," Shelby says, taking a few steps away from them in the pew, sitting down, and staring at the front of the church, even though the pastor is still shaking hands in the third row.
Teal'c is undeterred by this. He sits down next to her, and says, "I will seek revenge on whoever has injured you."
"I've got this," she says.
"If you did not require assistance, you would not have been injured."
"I injured them back, ok? I'm fine," she says.
Jack scoots over next to the two of them, and is suddenly glad that Ty didn't want to wake up this morning for the church service. "Come on, Teal'c is a seriously scary. One look at him, and whoever did this to you is never going to hurt you again."
"I was my fault, I was dumb enough to go home. My mom gave me some crap about how everything is good. They're both sober, and she's my mom you know. I haven't seen here in years. But as long as she chooses to live with that ass, she is going to stay out of my life," Shelby says.
"You should file charges," Jack says.
"Oh, the cops know enough about him. I was emancipated at sixteen, and I told them all this stuff then. I just don't want to go through telling them all of this again."
A song starts, and the conversation ends.