A/N: Surprise! Another fast update. I can't promise all the updates will happen so quickly but this was keeping me awake waiting to be written. This chapter is also significantly longer than I usually write. I hope you like it. Please leave me a comment. I really do love hearing from you.

Morning came much too soon to 108 Mifflin St.

After the late night Henry and his mother had, he had wanted to stay in bed and forget about school for the day. But, he knew he had to go. If his years with Regina had taught him anything, it was that you didn't miss school or work unless you were too sick to go on. She believed in showing up even if you didn't really want to. "That is what leaders do," she had said many times, "they show up."

Once, when Henry was in the second grade, before he had discovered the curse and found ways to hate his mother, he had forgotten to do an important assignment and knew he was going to be in trouble if he went to school without it. So, he had faked a stomach ache. Regina had sat on his bed beside him, brow furrowed in worry, one hand on his forehead checking his temperature. Finding none, she had gazed at him a moment and quirked one eyebrow. He knew he was busted.

"I think I know what's wrong." She had stood and begun tucking the covers around him.

"Y-you do?" Any second she was going to remind him that he was a leader and that leaders didn't stay home from school because they were afraid. He prepared himself for the call to get dressed.

"Yes. I think you have a bad case of homeworkitis."

"Homeworkitis?" Henry looked at his mother in disbelief.

"Indeed you do. Worst case I've seen in quite some time. Now, I know you are a leader and leaders don't stay home from school but I'm afraid I simply must insist today, Henry. I'll go call your teacher. I need to go in to the office for about an hour but I'll have the sheriff come sit with you until I get back. Will you be ok while I'm gone?" She had reached out a hand then and brushed her fingers through his dark hair.

"Sure, Mom. I'll be fine." Henry had beamed at her, forgetting for a moment he was supposed to be ill.

While she was gone to the office and Graham was downstairs watching TV, Henry had slipped from his bed and done his assignment. The rest of the day, he and Regina had cuddled on the couch and watched every superhero movie he owned. As his relationship with his mother began to deteriorate he had forgotten about that day. But now, he remembered completely and wondered if his mother needed a day like that for herself after their talk last night.

A firm rap on his door and her cheerful morning voice gave him his answer. "Good morning, Henry! I'll have breakfast ready in 15 minutes so you need to get up. Can't be late today."

And then, she was gone. Henry scrambled up and dashed to his bathroom to shower. So this is how we are gonna play this.

When Henry entered the kitchen, Regina was leaning against the island, sipping a cup of coffee. She had set two plates of eggs, toast and fruit on the breakfast bar for them. "Good morning."

"Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?" Regina sat down her coffee and scooted onto her stool.

"Yeah, I guess. Did… did you?" Henry studied her face for any signs of crying or sleeplessness. She, as usual, looked flawless.

"I did. Now, come sit with me. I'd like us to have a talk before we go." They looked at each other for a long moment before Henry moved to sit, each measuring the other.

"Ok, let's talk." Henry took a drink from his own cup. Cocoa. She had often made it for him, but since she and Emma had become friends, Regina had started adding cinnamon. Today's cup was missing that touch. Henry frowned at this.

For a moment they sat in silence, eating breakfast. The only sound in the kitchen was the tick of the clock and the scraping of silverware against their plates as they ate.

"So…." Henry laid aside his fork. His plate was empty now.

"So." Regina laid her fork down too.

"You said you wanted to talk, Mom so I can't start."

"I know."

"So…." Henry tried to draw out her words again. He wouldn't push her too hard though. Not after the way she had been so broken last night. But to see her this morning, it was as if that had all been a dream. Her trousers were perfectly pressed, her shirt crisp and her manner calm.

"You said that already." Regina smiled at him. Smoothing an invisible wrinkle from her pants, she seemed to be thinking of what to say next. "So, I wanted to apologize for my behavior yesterday and especially last night when you came to my room. It was late and I was very tired and… well, I had been drinking quite a bit. I said a great deal that was fueled by alcohol and my emotional state that I shouldn't have. I hope you will forgive me and that we can move on from that."

"But Mom… you don't have to apologize. I want to help—"

"No, I do need to apologize and I hope after this talk we can let that go and just move on." Regina stood and put her plate in the sink, topping off her coffee as if they weren't talking about anything as significant as her admission to loving—no adoring, needing, near worshipping his other mother.

"Mom. We are not just gonna pretend that last night didn't happen. I'm sorry, but there is no way. We have to tell Ma—"

Regina cut in again. "No Henry! We are absolutely not going to tell your mother. She doesn't feel for me like I feel for her."

"But Mom! How do you know? We just need to get her to see. We need an Operation, like old times." Regina turned from him and gazed out the window over the sink for a moment. The world was so still at this hour, the dew on the grass glistening. It wouldn't be long now before the first snow fell.

"No Henry. There will be no Operation this time." Henry started to object but Regina turned to face him and held up a quieting hand. "Listen to me. I know that to you, these things are simple. I will just tell Emma how I feel and she will feel the same and everything will be… happily ever after. But that isn't going to happen this time."

"But Mom…"

"Henry, if Emma cared for me, do you think she would have said yes to Killian?"

Henry felt a tiny shudder in his heart at hearing her call the pirate by his name. There was a certain amount of resignation—of acceptance in her voice.

"No, she wouldn't have said yes if she loved me. If she even thought she might love me, she would have said no or maybe or I need more time. But she said yes. And I have to honor that. I have to accept that. I can be happy just being her friend. In fact, I have to be happy just being that. Because I can't lose her from my life entirely. And admitting to her… telling her how I feel will only push her away."

"But Mom…" Henry's voice was no longer firm and sure. Now it was soft and sullen.

"No buts Henry. You promised not to tell her how I feel and I need you to honor that promise. I need you to respect my wishes and let this go. No meddling. No hinting. No Operation Parent Trap. Just trust my decision and let me be her friend. That will be enough."

Regina turned back to the window to keep him from seeing the tears threatening to spill, but he saw them. In a moment he was behind her, his arms wrapped around her middle, his chin on her shoulder. "Okay, Mom. We will do this your way. But if Emma asks me what's wrong, I can't lie to her."

"I know. You don't have to lie. I won't ask you to do that. But if she asks, just tell her to come to me about it, okay?" Regina patted her son's hands and he let her go.

"Okay. I can do that." But I think you are making a huge mistake.

~ (SQ) ~

In the three weeks since her breakdown in front of Henry, Regina had done a respectable job pretending she was ok. They had fallen into an amicable and easy routine. Henry had not asked her how she was feeling in several days and Emma didn't seem to notice anything was amiss.

That could be, in no small part, thanks to the fact that Regina had found ways to avoid their usual visits and lunches and general time together. Instead of making excuses which would have roused Emma's curiosity, Regina had planned town meetings and feigned illness and brought Henry along. Henry had been a risk but he had proved an excellent diversion and buffer for them.

Her heart had almost stopped breaking every time Emma called or came in the room.

Almost.

Regina had convinced Henry and very nearly convinced herself that this would work. She could love Emma from afar just as she had since she arrived in Storybrooke. Regina hadn't realized until after her disastrous relationship with Robin had ended just how she really felt about the blonde. But once the truth had fought to the forefront and she had admitted to herself that normal friends didn't save receipts, normal friends didn't tingle at an accidental touch, normal friends didn't awaken in the middle of the night with pounding hearts and aching cores from dreams… once she had accepted that there was more to her relationship with Emma than just friendship, she had taken time to consider all the years since her arrival in town.

Regina was embarrassed to admit that she'd cared far longer than her behavior might suggest. But looking back it seemed so obvious. She'd nearly kissed her when Henry was trapped in the mine but had chalked that close call up to her emotional state and fear. Even while she "hated" Emma, she had flirted with her mercilessly, perching on her desk, invading her personal space. She had thought this was all aggression and anger, but the fire she recognized now in hindsight hadn't been one entirely of hate at all.

Surely, if she could maintain a distant desire and secret affection all this time, she could keep it up now. Marriage would change their dynamic—that was true. But perhaps that would work to her benefit. She'd see less of Emma and therefore hurt less for Emma. She'd enjoy their time together more because it would be less. She could do this. She was a Queen. She was a powerful magic practitioner. She was strong—strong enough to make this work.

She was kidding herself. But she had to try.

Regina glanced now at the clock. It was nearly time for Emma's lunch break. The Mayor had scheduled a meeting with the Parks Department chairman during the lunch hour in order to have a good excuse to miss her regular Friday lunch at Granny's with the Sheriff. But only a ten minutes ago, the chairman, Harold Beasley, had called to reschedule. His wife had unexpectedly gone into labor 2 weeks early and he was off to meet her at the hospital to welcome twins. That was certainly not an excuse she could argue with.

Instead of calling Emma and letting her know she was free after all, Regina had decided to remain holed up in her office. She had managed to not be alone with Emma in three weeks. Regina sighed deeply, running a hand absentmindedly through the ends of her hair. She wasn't ready yet to be alone with her. Not yet.

Regina looked up only a moment later to see the source of her sorrow smiling around the door. In one hand she held a brown bag, in the other two root beers. How many times had this scene played out here in her office? More than she could count.

"Hi." Emma said, stepping fully into the office and shutting the door. "Barbara wasn't at her desk so I let myself in."

The smile on Emma's face was so bright that it seemed capable of lighting up even the darkest corners of Regina's broken heart.

"Oh, I suppose she is gone to lunch." Regina tried hard to act normal… whatever that meant anymore.

"Yeah. I heard over the dispatch radio that an ambulance picked up Marilyn Beasley so I figured your meeting would be canceled and we could grab lunch after all. Do you realize we haven't had Friday lunch in three weeks? I was beginning to think you don't like me anymore."

Emma meant the words as a joke, but there was just a touch of truth in them. Regina recognized a little girl lost in Emma's eyes. The brunette kicked herself at the realization that her avoidance of Emma would trigger the blonde's fear of rejection. She would have to be more careful. She didn't want Emma to feel unwanted. She was anything but.

"Of course I like you. Who else can I make fun of Snow to without fear of reproach?" Regina winked at Emma and opened the offered lunch sack. She could do this. She could pretend.

"Oh nice. I'm her daughter and I'm the one you aren't worried about offending?" Emma walked around to Regina's side of the desk and pulled open a drawer, retrieving the bottle opener Regina had picked up after their first root beer. That seemed so long ago.

Regina tried to hold her breath as Emma reached over her and popped the lid off both bottles and set them on the desk again. She failed miserably and inhaled a deep breath of Emma. How had she been able to do this before without reacting? Ahh, yes. She hadn't. But her reactions had been ok because Emma wasn't engaged. There had still been a chance her affections were wanted. Regina stiffened and leaned back from Emma as she closed the drawer and sank into the chair opposite Regina's.

"Well, it isn't that I'm not worried about offending you, dear. I just know you understand where I'm coming from. I seem to recall you having a few mocking words for her yourself." Regina took a drink from her root beer and pushed her salad around with her fork. She wasn't very hungry.

"Don't say that so loud!" Emma whispered. "She has ears everywhere." Emma wiggled her eyebrows at Regina and took a giant bite of her grilled cheese. Regina wondered when Emma had last eaten something green. That was no longer something she had a right to worry about, was it?

"Indeed. But you are safe with me, dear." Regina stabbed her fork through a tomato but still hadn't actually taken a bite.

"I know I am."

Regina was staring so intently into her salad that she missed the tender look pass over her companion's face.

"You don't seem much like you want that salad. You haven't had a bite yet." Emma brushed crumbs from her shirt front and took a long swallow from her bottle.

"No, I guess I don't have much of an appetite today Emma. I'm sorry." Regina looked up at her friend with a meek smile.

"Hey. Are you ok? You haven't had much of an appetite a lot lately. I feel like we haven't talked in weeks. Is everything ok?" The concern, the unvarnished affection in green eyes made Regina's stomach roll. She was going to be sick.

"I'm fine. I promise. It's just been hectic around here lately. And I… I imagine with all the wedding planning you have barely noticed my absence." Regina tried not to choke on her own words. I can do this. I have to do this.

Emma frowned as if studying Regina for a moment and then a smile replaced it. "Oh, I noticed. If you were there… well, if you were there with all the planning things would be going differently. I could use your sass in my corner."

"Differently?" Regina gave up the ruse of eating the salad and closed the lid. "At this early stage, what on earth could need to be made different?"

Emma dropped the remnants of her sandwich in the sack and picked up Regina's salad. She nodded toward it, silently asking if Regina intended to eat it later. Regina shook a near imperceptible no and Emma dropped the bag and box into the trash. Shoving her hands into her back pockets Emma looked around the office and still had not answered Regina's question.

"Will you come sit with me on the sofa? I mean, assuming you have time. I don't want to bother you if you're busy." There it was again. That lost look. Regina cursed inwardly. She hadn't seen that fear of rejection in a very long time, at least not directed at her. She would have to try harder… even if it hurt. She would not be the cause of pain for Emma.

"Of course. I always have time for you." Regina meant those words more than any she had spoken today.

Emma smiled as she circled the couch but there was a sadness in her eyes. She flopped down like a child onto the sofa and ran her hand over the spot directly beside her. Regina hesitated to sit so close. Many times since their friendship had grown closer, Emma would sit on this spot and lean into Regina's side, her blonde head pressed into Regina's shoulder. She would quietly tell Regina about her secret hurts, her lingering anger at Snow and David for sending her away, of happy memories with good foster parents and terror with others. Regina had relished these moments, her arm around Emma, feeling like they were in their own private world, away from everything and everyone who had hurt them.

I can't do this… but I have to try. For Emma.

Regina sat down close to her and raised her arm. The look of relief on Emma's face made her heart clinch in her chest. Emma scooted closer and for a moment it was easy to pretend things were like they used to be. Things would be ok. But then Emma spoke.

"So, the difference I was talking about is that I need someone to put a stop to Hurricane Snow. She's driving me crazy! I keep trying to get her to stop but… she won't listen to me. If you were there you'd insult her and she'd bristle but she would ease up." Emma's breath was hot against Regina's skin as she spoke.

"What is it, exactly, that she is doing to upset you?" Regina's traitorous hand began to move of its own accord through Emma's blonde curls.

"Well, for starters she has got it in her head that this is her wedding. I mean, it must be hers because there is no way in hell I would be looking at these Pepto-pink dresses for the six—SIX!—bridesmaids that she thinks I need. I don't even think I like six women in this town well enough to ask them to be in the wedding. It's like she has gone flipping nuts. Even for her." Emma's voice was going from one extreme to the other as she talked.

"I see. That sounds like her to me. Go on." Regina kept her voice quiet and even, although she was sure Emma must hear her heart racing in her chest thanks to their close proximity. Her hand had abandoned Emma's hair and was now drawing lazy, comforting patterns along her back.

"It's like she's trying to make up for every milestone she missed—every birthday, sweet 16, graduation—it's insane and she will not listen to me. Do you know how many people she has on her guest list? Like, shouldn't I be the one making a list? I don't even know half these people. Why should I include them? It is seriously stressing me out." Emma's voice agreed. She was definitely stressed. "Why can't we just run away? Just forget all this wedding nonsense and run away?"

"R-run away?" Regina's heart was hammering against her ribcage now. Did Emma mean?

"Yeah, just say 'screw it' and get the hell outta here. Can you imagine?"

"Yes. Yes I can." Regina tried hard to stop hope from blooming in her chest. She knew Emma didn't mean run away with her. Surely not. But what if?

"I think I'm just gonna suggest it. Let's just sail the Jolly Roger off to Boston and let some judge marry us and be done with it. Except Killian isn't from this world so I can't marry him in a courthouse because he doesn't exist. Sometimes this fairytale shit is so annoying. It's frustrating!" The truth slammed into Regina with unwarranted force. Of course she meant run away with the pirate.

"Shhhh. Calm down." Regina didn't notice how huskily she whispered her soothing words. How many times had she calmed Emma like this before? "There will be no running away, Emma. Not this time. And you need to give Snow a break. I can understand her excitement. She loves you." I love you. "She wants to make up for lost time. I'm sorry, that is my fault I suppose."

"Regina, no—" Emma tried to protest.

"No, Emma, it is. I caused her to miss all those things. And as for the guest list… well, that is probably my fault to. You see, there is more to this than meets the eye. In our world, a wedding was more than a thirty minute ceremony binding two people together. In the Enchanted Forest a wedding was spectacular. Especially if you were royal. And like it or not dear, you are a princess."

"And how is that your fault?"

"I'm getting to that so shush." Regina lightly swatted Emma with her fingertips. Her hands returned to their labor of love, circling along Emma's back. "In the old world, a wedding would be a weeklong event at a minimum. People would travel from all over to see this joining of two lives. But for royals it meant a joining of two kingdoms as well. It was meant to be sweet and loving and romantic… but it was also meant to be large and extravagant and to show the population that the new alliance was good for the couple and good for the kingdoms."

"OK. But that still doesn't mean—"

Regina tugged playfully on the ends of Emma's hair. "Will you just let me finish?"

"Sorry. Go ahead. Enlighten me." Emma's tone was both bored and irritated. Regina decided to sprint to the finish though she did not relish the idea of releasing Emma from her arms. It had been painful at its inception, but now she wasn't ready to let go. I don't want let you go.

"The reason your mother wants to invite so many people I suspect is because I told her once, when she was still just a girl and thought I was someone she could trust… I told her that it seemed foolish to me at these weddings for all the royals and social elite to be celebrating a marriage while the peasants stood outside looking in. I meant at the time that the peasants shouldn't be allowed to gawk. I wasn't a very nice person back then. But your mother… she thought I meant that they should be included. She thought I meant that since they were the ones who would be most affected by the marriage they should be invited to rejoice with the wealthy. So, after that, many of our balls included a list of lesser individuals to appease her. And, damn it all, I hate to admit it but she was right. It helped relations between the crown and the commoners. It wasn't meant as a political move, but it certainly helped maintain peace. And it made the people love her. Do you see what I mean?"

Emma's breathing had evened out and she seemed to relax the longer Regina explained. When Emma finally spoke, her voice was quiet and calm. "I guess so. You're saying she's inviting all these people because she wants everyone to feel important."

"Yes, exactly. She wants you to be a beautiful bride—" Regina's quiet voice hitched over the word. Reality lurked at the door even as they stayed warm and safe in this place of pretend. "And you will be a beautiful bride. But she also wants your subjects to love you and feel like they are a part of your world. It must seem silly to you being raised in this world, but to your mother this is one of the most important things she will ever do for you. Give you the heart of your people. If they love you, like they loved her, like they never loved me… you will be safe and happy long after she is gone."

"I didn't think of that. See," Emma sat up and looked at Regina then. "This is why I need your help. You understand her and you understand me. I can't do this without you."

"Well, of course I am happy to help you anytime Emma." Regina broke the eye contact and tried to pull away. The bubble of warmth that had encased them was fading away. Time to get back to life. To work. To pretending.

"Regina, wait." Emma tugged Regina back into her personal space and enclosed her in a tight hug. It was everything Regina could do not to cry. She hadn't been expecting this. Emma released her and smiled brightly. "There is just one more thing."

"O-okay. W-what… um, what is it?" Regina hated herself for stumbling over her words.

"I've been thinking about this a lot. And since we haven't been spending as much time together, I have thought about it more than I maybe should. But I need you to consider what I am proposing before you turn me down, ok?"

"Proposing? Emma what—"

"Nope. I listened to you. Now you listen to me." Emma placed a single finger on Regina's red lips to silence her. Electricity sparked where their skin met. Regina merely nodded her agreement.

"Ok. So, the thing is—" Emma stopped and smiled shyly at Regina. "Wait, let's do this right. If I'm going to propose…"

To Regina's astonishment, Emma stood from the couch and knelt on one knee before her.

"Emma? Emma, get up." Regina pulled on Emma's hands. When had they started holding hands?

"No. You hush and let me finish." Regina felt color bloom across her face, her neck. Something playful in Emma's smile made her heart melt in her chest.

"Regina, we have been friends a long time. But it wasn't always that way. Our relationship has changed and evolved and become more at every turn. We were enemies, then we tolerated each other, then we were allies and finally friends. And now… well, now you are my best friend. You are so important to me. Regina, I—" Emma paused a moment as if weighing her words and produced a small black box from her pocket.

Regina's hands had begun to tremble. Was this some profession of love? Was Emma trying to tell her she didn't want to marry the pirate?

"I care about you. And I know you care about me. The truth is, I don't want to marry Killian—no, I cannot and will not marry Killian—without you standing by me. So, I guess what I am trying to say is, Regina… will you be my maid of honor?"

Emma opened the box and held it out to Regina. Inside was a beautiful and delicate swan crafted in white gold on a chain. It was a necklace. A gift for her maid of honor.

Regina swallowed down bile looking at the jewelry. "Matron of honor."

"What?" Emma asked, confusion coloring her face.

"Matron. I've been married and technically widowed. I can no longer be a maid of honor."

"Oh." Emma seemed confused as to why this technicality should be addressed. "Alright then, will you be my matron of honor? I still want you, either way."

Regina tenderly touched the swan and felt a searing hot pain in her chest. Matron of honor.

Regina couldn't stop the tears from falling. This hurt too much. Would she really be forced to stand before her subjects, in a Pepto-pink gown and watch that damn dirty pirate lay claim to the woman she loved?

"Of course, Emma. Yes. Of course." Regina's voice was barely a whisper. I can do this.

Emma let out a cry of joy and leapt to her feet, pulling Regina into a hug. "Well, don't cry! This is a happy thing. Here, let me put this on you."

Regina stood dumbfounded as Emma's gentle hands eased the chain around her neck. "Lift up your hair for me." Emma's voice was against her ear and sent an unwanted shiver though her. But she complied and lifted her hair out of the way.

"There. Beautiful! This is my favorite part of the wedding so far. You look so surprised. You had to know I would ask you." The bright smile on Emma's face that had warmed her just a short time ago now felt like ice encasing her heart.

"Oh Emma, thank you for including me. I'm so glad you did." Regina returned Emma's smile.

I can do this. Please let me be able to do this. I have to. For Emma…