No flashbacks this time around, so the lyrics only refer to Emily in those five years. I chose three distinct parts of the song, but I would have written it all. It just fits Emily so much - she gets that tattoo done, peace, because she finally thinks she got to that point and then Paige leaves, and the war inside of her starts again. Just thought this choice needed an explanation, that's all.

Part Two

Better In Time

Chapter XII

Now it falls all around me
Did I think I could run away?
Now it's coming to find me
this war that I deserve

Under a falling sky
hopeless, there's nowhere to hide
the terror is real time
under a falling sky

My fate, it rains, it rains like cinders
the cadent drums, the war it comes
Growing thunder, terror, wonder
Falling, falling
It's falling, falling

(Falling sky, RED)

"I don't understand why you're still going and choosing to subject yourself just to more pain. You came here to tell her and you chose not. Then, why?"

"Telling her the truth was secondary, my main goal was to see if she was happy."

"And you told me she is, so the question still stands."

You don't answer, you can't. You don't have an answer for him, so you just gesture him to help you with the zipper of your dress and he huffs, shaking his head, but helping you anyway. You've been arguing all morning about your choices and now you're exhausted. You know he's worried, not telling her has haunted you for the past five years, but Ashley is right. This time, she deserves not to know. But you still need to be there, you don't know why, but you just need it. Maybe it will bring some closure. Maybe you'll just wait for something to happen, to change. No matter how hard you try, that small selfish part of you is still there and is making it's presence known.

"You wanna know what I think? Deep down, you like that pain."

You greet your teeth and glare icily at him, "Don't."

"You could let it all go, you could leave Emily behind. You could, but the thing is that you don't want to and that's because you don't know who you are without that pain."

"You know this is not only about Emily."

"Isn't it? Do you really expect me to believe that you wouldn't go back to that night if it meant you and Emily could still be together?"

You stare at him, shocked, as you shake your head. Is this what he thinks of you? He never said anything. In these past five years he always stood by your side, he always supported you. Was it about AJ all along? You knew that he wasn't ready to see you again when you called him, you knew that the main reason for helping you was AJ. You always knew, but you thought time had changed the situation. You hurt him deeply and you know nothing will ever change that, but you thought he was slowly forgiving you. You guess you were wrong. You know now – understanding doesn't always mean forgiveness.

"You didn't even want him, all you wanted was a life with Emily. And you know what? It wouldn't have worked out. You left her because you thought it would be unfair to them, but would it have been fair to ask her to sacrifice something she wanted because you didn't think it was right?"

You clench your jaw, hurt written all over your face. No, it wouldn't have. You know that. Even without AJ, you still wouldn't be able to be together. Or maybe you would, but at what cost? Emily may have accepted what you would ask, but she would have to sacrifice something in exchange and that is something you would never accept. You wanted to give her everything she wanted, everything she needed, but you know you never could have. Some things just come first, no matter how much you love someone. You and Emily would never had made it. This is what hurts the most. Knowing that, no matter what your choices had been, you and Emily would never have a future together. That You, me and a happy… would never be possible. There's no choice. There hasn't ever been one.

"Maybe you should stop blaming what happened that night and realize that this, all of this, is on you. If you had told me the truth sooner that night wouldn't have happened, if you hadn't lied to me in the first place then none of this would have ever happened. You didn't leave Emily because of that night, you left her because you're a fucking coward, because you can't do anything but run and take the easy way out."

Despite what he thinks, you wouldn't change a thing. It's true, you didn't want him, but that was before you got to hold him in your arms for the first time. Emily gave you hope and freedom – Emily was hope and freedom. You were finally free and you didn't want that feeling to end. And when you found out that your freedom was being threatened, you lost the control you finally had found. But then you saw him and you held him and you realized that if he was going to be your new cage, then he was a cage you were glad you were going to be trapped in. There is nothing you wouldn't sacrifice for him. He means everything to you. You would never go back, ever.

"You couldn't stand breaking my heart, you couldn't stand Emily looking at you differently. So you ran. You just didn't want to witness our pain, because it would have added to yours. It was never doing the right thing for us, but for you and you only."

"You've never seen me denying my mistakes, and that's because I never have. I'm fairly aware of my mistakes, Robert, but at the time I thought I was doing the right thing."

This conversation is long over due, now time has come to talk about it. Were you right when you got with to hide who you really are? No, but at the time you thought it was a phase and that someday you could really love him, in the way he deserves to be loved. Were you right when you realized that you could never do that, but never told him anything until he proposed? No, because he was your best friend and you loved him and you just didn't want to break him. Were you right when you cheated on him? No, and he still doesn't know, nor he ever will, how many times you tried to stop, because it wasn't right to do so, to neither of them, but you just couldn't let Emily go – how could you? Were you right when you hid the truth from Emily and left? Again, no. But at the time you were terrified and that, running, was the only thing you could think of.

"Every damn choice that I made was because of that. And yes, I ran. But I've spent these last five years trying to make it up to you and I don't even really expect to be forgiven for what I did, but I'm trying, I really am. Trying and hoping is all I can do."

"How? How are you trying? Seriously tell me, because all I've seen these past few years is you crying and feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'm giving everything that I am to AJ. I don't understand what else you want from me, Robert."

You murmur weakly as tears starts streaming down your cheeks, you can't do this anymore. Your attempts at making it right were all in vain, you know that now. You'll never be able to make it right and you're tired of trying something you'll never accomplish. He stares at you, his deep brown eyes as cold as you've never seen making you shiver, and stays silent for a long moment. His next words hurt like nothing ever has before. He can't do that. He can't.

"I love you, but I can't watch you throwing away your life anymore. Do what you wish with yourself, but I won't let you drag AJ down with you."

"You can't take him away from me. He's all I have and I love him. You just can't."

"It's not something that I want to do, but I will if I have to", he sighs, "I'm going to pick you up at nine, if you're not there then I'll know you made your choice and we'll be on our way. This is your last chance."

"I… I… Thank you. I will be there, I promise that."

"Don't, I'm not doing it for you, but for him. He is all I have left, too, but, unlike you, I did not choose this. Don't make me regret it, Paige."

You won't.

"So, what's the plan of action?"

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion, what is she talking about? You look at Amy and Reagan beside you, but they just shrug, at loss just like you are. You shift your gaze to Sidney, who is still looking at you waiting for an answer, and you apologize for not knowing what she's referring to. She rolls her eyes and explains herself like what she is saying is the most natural thing in the world.

"The plan to get Emily back, of course."

Amy buries her head into her girlfriend's shoulder, who simply coughs and looks outside the window to avoid answering the question. You look up to the rear view mirror and Ashley is already looking at you, shaking her head at Sidney, her eyes never leaving yours. She's curious to hear the answer, too. You didn't tell her you weren't going to bring AJ with you anymore yesterday and she didn't ask any question when you asked her for a ride to the wedding. She doesn't know if you plan to tell Emily anyway – she knows you better than anyone, she knows that one part of you is tempted to tell her the truth, she is the one who sometimes brings out parts of you that you weren't aware of.

"What? I can't be the only one to have thought about that", when she is met with silence, she makes sure to give everyone a disappointed glare, "I'll tell you how it goes: we kidnap Samara and put Paige in her dress, by the time Emily lifts the veil, it will be already be done."

"I think Emily mentioned that Samara's dress is tailor-made."

You look at your best friend confused, is she trying to encourage her? Her eyes reveal nothing, but her teasing tone could be easily mistaken. She usually the first to put crazy ideas to rest, but she hasn't shut Sidney down yet and you can't figure out what is going through her mind. You mouth a 'What are you doing?', but she simply shakes her head – if she said something back, you couldn't see.

"Then we'll ruin the dress, that will stop the wedding."

"You don't know Samara, she is unstoppable, she would go there naked if she had to."

"Give me ideas instead of shutting down everything I come up with. And you two, Miss and Miss Sarcasm, help us."

You roll your eyes, you just wish she would stop, but you know that, if you open your mouth, nothing good will come out of it. You know that she just wants to help you and you appreciate it, but really, you just want her to shut up. This is just stupid. You've seen the way Emily's eyes shone every time she mentioned Samara, it really hurt, but that was all the confirmation you needed to know that she is happy.

"From what Shrimps told me, you were very in love with her", Amy looks at you somewhat apologetically as she elbows her girlfriend, but you shake her head as to tell her not to worry, "so the reason you left must be pretty important."

"Yeah", Sidney says excitedly, "Tell her the reason you left. If that's the big secret you make it to be, then it should make her reconsider."

You don't want her to reconsider, but you do, you want that, you want her, so this is stupid and you want her to stop. You're not here to get Emily back. You don't want her to stop the wedding. You do. This is stupid and you can't hold your tongue any longer.

"How about I give you an idea? Here's the plan of action: you stop it right here and I watch Emily getting married, drink enough not to feel a thing and have meaningless amazing sex with some stranger at the reception just to forget, does that work for you?"

You see Ashley nodding in the mirror, as if she accepted your choice, and you just snort, looking away. You take their silence as approval, right now you don't even care for the hurt covering all over Sidney's face, you'll apologize for that later. Right now, you got what you wanted. For her to shut up, for that selfish part of you to stop screaming. And as far as right now, this is enough.

You play with sand, grabbing an handful and then letting it slip away over and over again, as you stare at the ocean in front of you. The place is nice, it's actually beautiful, but you hate it. It's been years, five years, since the last time you ever went to the beach – neither you or Robert could afford it. After your parents somehow found out about your break up with Emily and about AJ, they contacted you again and tried to convince you to take a job at their company with the promise that one day it would be yours and, even though the offer was tempting, you knew they only did that because they were sure that you had proven them right and that what existed between you and Emily had just been a phase, so you refused – you would never pretend to be something you are not again. They wanted the daughter they raised, but you stopped being that when you met Emily and you just couldn't go back. Because of your refusal, they fired Robert, who worked there for some years already, but he didn't blame you, he was proud of you for standing up for yourself, instead. It had been easy for him to find another job, even if the salary wasn't as high as the one before, but the same couldn't be said for you. You jumped from a job to another, whatever was available was good enough – you did everything you had just to bring some money home. Home. You never had one to call it your own. You lived in your parents' house for eighteen years, but never it had felt yours. Then there was Stanford, but how can someone call sharing a room with a roommate that you hated home? You lived with your uncle for a few months, but then you moved in with Robert when you thought you had taken enough advantage of his hospitality. Neither of them felt like home. Home. Home was Valerie's tight arms around you. Home was being in Emily's arms. Home is holding AJ in yours. Home has always been a person, not a place.

You hate this place, it brings back too many memories and you can't handle them. The last time you've been to the beach was with Emily and now your mind is replaying the memory of every picnic, of every study session, of every race, of every smile and laugh, of every touch, of every kiss, of every 'I love you', of all the times you held each other, of all the times you loved each other. Now your mind is replaying every memory, in no particular order, and is giving you no rest, ignoring your attempts to just think about something else, everything but that. You have no control over your mind and it's driving you crazy. You just want it to stop, you just want to be left alone. You don't want those memories, you want them removed, erased. You'd do everything, you don't want them. You don't want them.

"Do you have one for me?"

Temporary peace comes in the form of Ashley, Thank you. You turn, you didn't even notice her sitting beside you, and you see her looking at the cigarette in your other hand. You look skeptically at her, she told you she quitted, but you take the pack from your purse and you hand it to her, sliding a cigarette up for her to take. She thanks you when you lit it and she covers your hands with hers to prevent the flame from dying, smiling widely as she inhales.

"I miss it, sometimes. I haven't smoked since we… In a long time."

You bite your lip at her slip up and you look at her in the eyes, you're not able to see behind her sunglasses, but she is able to look into yours, so you look down and you close your eyes. You agreed not to talk about that, to pretend like it never happened – that's easier said than done. Sometimes, when she touches you, you can't help but remember the way her hands touched you that night and feel an electric thrill down your spine. Sometimes, when you kisses your cheek, your forehead or your hair, you can't help but think about all the other places that she pressed her lips to and want that to happen again. You're not blind, you've never have been, and, when it comes to Ashley, you wish you were. That night had been nothing but a mistake, you both agreed on that, you were both desperate just to feel something and you found relief in each other. Sometimes you think you're just trying to fool yourself, but you never allow yourself to really think it through. You can't do that, not even now, so you are glad when she changes the subject. You can't really do that. It was a mistake.

"What were you thinking about?"

"The wind is free, but the sand is not."

The wind is free, but the sand goes wherever the wind takes it and you are sand and the life is wind, always taking you wherever it wants, ignoring your screams to just let you be, to just let you be free and choose the path you desire. Robert thinks you chose that, but can taking the only available path really be considering making a choice? You can't think about a choice that you made that really mattered something but one, and that's AJ. He is the only choice – and he wasn't really planned – that matters, one you won't ever regret making.

"Even sand stand still, sometimes. It's not its choice, sometimes wind doesn't blow and sand just stays still, unmovable and unshakable, but it happens. We are all sand, Paige, but even we stand still sometimes, even we are unmovable and unshakable sometimes. And that will also happen to you again someday."

You nod and you take her hand, intertwining your fingers together, and she simply smiles, not looking at you, as she strokes your hand with her thumb. She's talking about herself, too. It's this aching, this craving to stand still, unshakable and unmovable, that brought you together that night. It's this aching, this craving that keeps you close, you are an anchor for each other, you are that person that stands still even when the wind still blows.

"Someday, you're going to stop feeling this way. Someday, you're going to owe nothing more to AJ. Someday, you will that free sand that stands still. And yes, that may be temporary, but it will be worth it."

You open your mouth to answer, but you see Leah approaching, and you close it immediately, tilting your head into her direction to let Ashley know you'll finish this conversation later and she gives you a slow nod in understanding as she pulls away her hand, giving yours a light squeeze before doing so. You briefly smile at her and then turn towards Leah, with an hand covering your eyes, protecting them from the sun, so you can actually see her. You don't miss the confused look on her face, but you're grateful when she doesn't ask any question and simply moves in front of you, preventing the sun from hitting you, making you nod in appreciation – you should have brought sunglasses, too.

"Just passing by to tell you the ceremony finally starts in a few, so you can go and take your place, your seats are on the left side, third row."

"Thanks. Why are we late, anyway?"

"Some problems with Samara's bridesmaids, I don't know if you remember them. Quinn and Zoey?", Ashley simply nods and she goes on, "Anyway, they got in a fight and someway Quinn's dress got ruined, but Hanna worked her magic while Bianca calmed them down and made both of their make up again. Took awhile, but they did it. The hard work was hiding the truth from Em and Samara, I had to fake being sick and I..."

"Stop it right there, I don't even want to imagine."

You chuckle at Ashley's horrified face as you nod, Leah is crazy and you are afraid at what she could have came up with. Sometimes with her it's just better not to know. You still remember the weird ideas she had when you still went to college, the same weird ideas that got her in trouble more often than not – she never cared for the consequences and you were a bit envious of that behavior. You still are jealous of the aura of freedom that she irradiates. She acts like wind, but she's still sand, though – you are all sand. You wonder how she manages that. You would ask if you weren't such in bad terms, her answer could reveal something you didn't consider, something more.

"Yeah, that is probably for the best. And anyway, I gotta go. Catch up with you later."

She leaves as quickly as she came and you and Ashley simply look at each other, shaking your heads and chuckling. She suggests to go and you nod, getting up from the bench you were sitting on, but then you stop, earning a questioning look from her. You simply stare at her and she takes a few steps towards you, erasing the distance between the two of you, and asks if she did something wrong, but you only shake your head and you extend your arm, offering your hand for her to take. She tilts her head confused and you smile, shaking your head once again, letting the sand slip away for the last time. Only then she smiles and nods, her fingers tracing the lines of the tattoo on your wrist before intertwining them with yours.

"Someday may be not be today, Paige, but that day will come."

Someday, yeah. Today... Today, the wind still blows, but as long as Ashley holds your hand you know that everything is going to be okay. Today, Ashley stands by your side, unmovable and unshakable, her arms offering a shelter in the middle of the storm. Once the dust settles, Ashley will still be there and will welcome you with a warm embrace, her arms around you offering a place where you can rest your soul. Ashley is home, too.

Author's note: this chapter was half done, so it was easier to finish it (thank you guest, I didn't think someone would think that about Emily and Samara, it really gave a great kick to my block, thank you). I think we're halfway this part and the whole story (eight chapters for each part, not counting eventual epilogues - that I don't know if I will write, the story can also finish as I planned, we'll see).

Now you know what happened, what prompted Paige to leave - at least, you should. About that... You should know what happened, but the reason of actually leaving will be revelead later on, last chapter of this part or first chapters of the third, I am not sure yet. And always keep in mind that Paige thought she was doing what was right, that leaving Emily was the only thing she could do - whether that's true will be seen and/or up for interpretation.

See ya.