A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this chapter up. I have been very sick. Feeling better now!
I hope you all enjoy this chapter. It is the longest I have written yet for this story. Be warned there is a touch of hetero talk toward the end. Please consider leaving a review. It really means more than you know. I try to respond to them as time permits.
Emma stood on the pier by the Jolly Roger, breathing in for a moment the scents of the sea. She was tired and wanted to go home but she hadn't seen Killian in two days so this is where she should be.
The short tour of Boston with Regina hadn't been as fun as she had hoped. Something was wrong with the brunette. Maybe she was tired. Neither of them had slept well. After breakfast at the café and a cursory look around for the homeless woman she knew wouldn't be there, they had visited a few places and headed for Storybrooke by noon. Shortest tour in history.
Emma had dropped Regina at her mansion just ten minutes ago. Henry was home and had run out to the car to greet them. When Emma had remained in the car, his disappointment was clear. Emma told him she needed to go see Killian and do some laundry but she had promised to call him later.
The kid had taken Regina's bag and jogged back up the walk to the house. Regina had smiled and said she had a great time, but her eyes betrayed her. She wasn't happy. Emma took the few steps up to the deck of the ship and wondered if Regina was still mad about Emma lying to Hook or maybe about Hook's suggestion they all fall in bed together.
Emma shuddered. Gross.
The blonde let her mind wander a moment to the image. No. It was just too disgusting. How could Killian even think that was ok? He was a passable lover and she enjoyed the feeling of safety he provided. Emma had no doubt he wanted her. She liked feeling like someone wanted her. But while he was good enough for her, he was not good enough for Regina.
The very idea of his hands on Regina made Emma feel sick. Regina was special. She deserved any sexual experience she chose to be special too. She shouldn't be someone's fantasy. She certainly shouldn't be a quick fuck for someone like Hook. No. She should be treated with respect, with love and care. She should be made love to by someone who recognized what a gift she was.
Emma smirked. Of course, Regina wasn't vanilla. She'd said so herself. But anything she chose to do in her bedroom that was beyond vanilla should be her choice. She shouldn't be objectified by a man and made part of his porn story. Emma's cheeks pinked. She shouldn't be objectified by her best friend either, Swan.
Emma shook her head. She certainly knew Regina was attractive. She was beautiful in a way Emma couldn't put into words. The blonde couldn't help but feel that even if Regina wanted a threesome with them, Emma would say no. Regina was too good for Hook… and too good for her as well. Sure, Regina had done a lot of rotten things in her past, evil things. But so had Emma. Despite all that, Regina still seemed to carry herself with such confidence and grace. She really was a queen. Yeah. She's a queen and I'm just… me. No. The three of them together was just not ok. It was… Gross.
Emma was below deck now. She'd been so lost in thought she had moved without being aware. How'd I even get here? Emma wasn't sure if her question was about her location in the ship of in her life. Maybe a little of both.
She pushed open the door to Killian's private quarters. Across the room she could see him, lounging on his small bed, bottle of rum clutched to his chest. He was asleep.
Emma slipped closer to him and eased the rum out of his grip. It was mostly full. That meant he wasn't passed out, just napping. She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned close, closing her eyes and kissing him gently on the forehead.
Her mind flooded with images of Regina in her arms the night before, Emma's lips to her forehead. Regina had looked so fragile, so vulnerable in the moonlight. Had she wanted Emma to stop?
"Swan! Welcome home, love." Hook's arm closed around Emma's waist and pulled her on top of him. His rough lips sought hers out and stole a kiss. It felt strange. Regina's lips always look so soft. "When did you get in?"
"Maybe fifteen minutes ago? I had to drop Regina off at her house and talk to the kid a minute. He wanted me to stay a while, but I wanted to see you. So here I am." Emma placed another short kiss on Hook's lips and moved to stand.
The pirates grip on her waist tightened. "Here, now. No need in getting up, love. Why don't we just stay here and you can show me how much you really missed me." He kissed her roughly again, his beard scratchy against her face.
"Be still my heart. You have a way of sweeping a girl off her feet, Hook." Emma's voice was dripping in sarcasm. She pushed harder against the pirate's grasp in an effort to free herself from his arms. "Let me up. I have some stuff to do."
"Oh, c'mon Swan. Stay here with me. We can have a little rum and a little fun." He winked salaciously. Emma knew what kind of fun he had in mind but she just wasn't in the mood.
"No, Killian. I need to take Ruby her dress and I need to go home. I just came by for a quick hello kiss. I have a ton of laundry to do and… to be honest I'm exhausted. I didn't sleep well." Emma finally managed to wiggle free and stand.
"Laundry, huh? And where, pray tell me love, will you be doing your laundry today?" Emma noted there was an angry edge to her fiancé's voice.
"What?" Emma frowned. "I mean, I guess the laundromat. Unless Regina says I can use hers. Why?"
"Regina's house! Of course! That's where all the answers to life's questions can be answered." Hook stood and stormed past Emma to the table, picking up the rum she had earlier taken from him. He drank a long sip and slammed the flask back down.
"Killian, what the hell is your problem. You know there is no washing machine in the loft. I think it's pretty nice of Regina to let me use her machine instead of wasting quarters at the laundromat." Emma felt anger flickering in her chest. This was not how she saw her day going.
"Yes, the dear, sweet Queen who seems to be the source of all your joy and the focus of your concern lately. Perhaps you should consider having a little fun with her instead of me, love." Hook's voice was full of venom.
Emma wrinkled her nose at the implication. "Fun? For God's sake Killian. Can you just stop reducing her to some kind of sex object? She's hot. I get it. But this obsession you have with going to bed with her has got to stop."
"Oh, I don't think I'm the one she wants to go to bed with." The brunette said half to himself.
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" The simmering anger in Emma's chest was threatening to boil over now.
Hook looked at Emma with disbelief and disgust. "Oh my god, Swan. Can you really be that stupid?"
Now white hot rage rushed to the surface and Emma found herself toe to toe with the pirate. "I am not stupid and I don't appreciate you suggesting I am."
The pirate took a step back and rubbed his chin absentmindedly with his hand, drinking in Emma's angry stance. "No. I'd say you are pretty stupid. Or blind. Oh, our Evil Queen… what would her majesty call you? I know! An idiot."
At that, Emma shoved Hook with both hands firmly on his chest. Hook stumbled back against the table. He hadn't anticipated Emma's physical aggression.
"She isn't evil and if I were you I wouldn't call her that again. It wasn't so very long ago I was the evil one, Killian. Or have you forgotten?" Emma could feel the seductive call of darkness as her anger raced unchecked through her body.
"No, I haven't forgotten. I see it. And I see her a lot clearer than you do." Hook straightened to his full height now.
"What are you even talking about? Make a point or I'm leaving." Emma planted her hands firmly on her hips in defiance.
"Oh Swan… can't you see. She's in love with you."
~ (SQ) ~
"She's been in there how long?" Snow whispered to Henry on the phone. She whispered out of necessity more than out of a sense of secrecy. Neal was napping and she had no interest in waking him up yet.
"Two hours. I'm worried about her, Gram. She's doing the music thing again. I thought the trip was gonna fix this, not make it worse." Henry whispered too, but his was because this was serious, not because his mother could possibly hear him over her music player.
Snow sat on the edge of her bed in the loft and sighed. "I know, Henry. I thought it would help too. That's why I booked them one room. I thought the time together would be…" Snow blushed. She knew what she had hoped would come of the sleeping arrangement and it was embarrassing. Embarrassing to admit she'd thought of it and embarrassing to be discussing it with her grandson.
"I know Gram. Let's skip that part. I get it." Henry's voice seemed to blush right along with his skin. He wanted his mother's together but he didn't want to think about what that really meant. Gross.
"Right. So, music. Is it that same song you told me about?" Snow hurried past the awkwardness.
"No. This is even worse I think." Henry leaned into Regina's partially open bedroom door and listened. Yep. She was still in the tub if the sound of water sloshing was any indication. And the song was playing over and over.
"Worse? I don't know. That song was pretty bad." Snow had googled the lyrics Henry could remember and had nearly cried when she heard the old tune in full. What could be worse?
"It's Nat King Cole, Gram. Nat King Cole." Henry emphasized. He'd learned to recognize the old jazz singer's voice very early in life. His mother played Nat only when she was depressed and somehow his mournful singing made her feel better.
"Oh. That is serious. What song is it? Autumn Leaves? Unforgettable? Please don't say it's Sentimental Reasons." Snow had had this discussion with her grandson before many times when Robin Hood had first run off with Zelena.
Henry stepped into his bedroom so he could speak freely. "No, much worse. It's Smile. Grandma, mom has been in the tub for two hours listening to Smile. What happened in Boston?"
Snow sighed again. "I don't know. And Emma didn't seem much in the mood to discuss it when she was here. She said she was going to do laundry. Didn't she come there?"
"Nope. She called but she and mom only spoke a minute and then mom went into the bathroom. Should I go… like check on her?" Henry wanted to be treated like an adult, but the concern in his voice betrayed his maturity. He sounded like a worried little boy.
"No. Don't bother her yet. Give her a few minutes more. And call me later and let me know how it goes. I'll try to talk to Emma when she gets home." Snow suddenly regretted her meddling. She meant well, but it didn't seem to be going like she thought.
"Ok. I'll wait. Thanks Gram. I'm sorry I got us in a mess. But I really thought we could help." Henry's remorse was clear.
"I know, sweetheart. But, it isn't over yet. We'll talk later."
"Ok. I'll call you back." Henry moved to hang up the phone.
"Henry?" Snow called out quietly.
"Yeah?"
"I don't always know a lot, but I do know something about love. If this is meant to be, it will be. I love you, Henry."
Henry smiled into the phone as if Snow could see him. She was always good for a dose of hope. "I love you too. Bye, Gram."
"Goodbye, sweetie." Snow whispered, tapping on the screen to end the call.
Snow flopped back onto her bed and threw an arm across her face. How do I always end up somehow involved in Regina's love life?
When Henry had called her all those weeks ago, telling her he needed to talk, she had no idea what he was about to say. He had promised Regina that he wouldn't tell Emma about her feelings, but he had made no promise to keep it a secret from Snow White. So, over a cup of cocoa in her kitchen, he had confided in her.
At first, Snow had been sure she was being punked. There was no way the woman she had spent most of her life running from for fear of her very life was now hopelessly in love with her daughter. And yet, it was true. Henry had detailed for her the crying, the drunken ranting, and the box of trinkets. The both of them had cried as he recalled the passion in his mother's voice and the brokenness.
Snow had sent Henry home that day with a promise to think about all this new information and make a decision. She had begun to consider old memories, old photographs and interactions between Emma and Regina. It hadn't been hard to see that Regina indeed had feelings for the blonde when you knew what you were looking for. And over the three weeks that Regina ignored and avoided Emma following her revelation to Henry, it had become more and more obvious that Emma had feelings for Regina as well.
Emma had moped and pouted and whined about Regina ignoring her, avoiding her and in general not being attached to her hip as she usually was. Snow had nearly laughed out loud in Emma's face when, after a particularly hard day, the blonde had intimated that her sour mood could easily be remedied if only she could cuddle with Regina on the couch and watch a movie. Yes, Emma loved Regina even if she didn't realize it yet.
Snow folded her arms across her cardigan covered stomach and stared at the ceiling above her. Emma loved Regina. Regina loved Emma. But nobody was doing anything about it. So she had finally decided to give Henry a leg up and help him out. The best way for him to honor his promise to his mother not to tell Emma, not to meddle, not to enact an official Operation was for Snow to do it and Henry to merely be her scout and secret spy.
The first part of the plan had seemed to work perfectly. She had helped Henry get the two women to eat dinner together and it had been a great chance to interrupt her private time with Killian. Let Emma see her two options side by side. That ought to get her thinking. It had been the very next day they had gone dress shopping and the Mayor and the Sheriff had seemed like their old selves for the first time in weeks. They'd laughed, they'd flirted, and Snow had seen from a front row seat just how obvious the love between them was.
So, seeing an opportunity, she had enacted a second act in her plan. She had sent them off to Boston for dresses. And it should have fixed things once and for all. Snow had seen many times the way Emma's hand seemed to reach for Regina without her even realizing it. She had watched Regina gaze longingly at Emma over coffee. Surely, two adults, in love, in a bed together would… No. Not going there.
Snow sat up and walked into the kitchen. She filled the kettle and sat it on the burner. She needed a cup of tea.
Emma hadn't come straight home when the women had arrived in Storybrooke. Henry had texted her that Emma hadn't even come in the mansion. Snow assumed Emma was going to see Killian. Maybe to break things off with him?
The thought of Hook made Snow's cheeks color in shame. She was actively trying to steal the pirate's girlfriend from him and push her into the arms of another. She should be ashamed. Snow shook her head. She should be ashamed but in a way, she felt like this was what was best for everyone.
She liked the pirate well enough. She had gotten used to some of his less civilized ways. But she had never fully embraced the idea of him being married to Emma. Snow sniffed at the thought as her kettle began to boil. She pulled it from the heat just before it could whistle. Maybe she had subconsciously been aware of the love between Regina and Emma all along and that was what kept her from fully supporting the marriage to Hook.
She hadn't told Emma how she felt though. Emma seemed so excited to be getting married. And to be honest, Snow was glad to be able to plan a wedding for her daughter. She had missed so many opportunities during the curse. But she would have been happy to plan a wedding for Emma and anyone. It wasn't about Killian for her. Nor apparently for Emma either.
Snow dunked her tea bag in the water absentmindedly. Emma had come home about two hours ago. She had been crying and was clearly upset. Maybe she had broken things off with him. Snow had tried to talk to her but Emma had climbed the stairs, two at a time and bounded back down in the same fashion. She had called over her shoulder as she slipped out the door that she was going to take Ruby her dress and then she was going to do her laundry.
Laundry was code for going to crash at Regina's. Snow wasn't sure when but at some point Emma had stopped going to the laundromat and had started taking her clothes to Regina's for a good wash and dry. A few times, she had just left a load in the dryer and Regina had delivered the clothes, dried, ironed and folded neatly to the apartment for Emma. God, how did I not see it before?
So things weren't going according to plan just yet. But things always got worse before they got better. Snow White wasn't going to lose hope. All she wanted in the world was for Emma to be happy. And something in her heart said that Regina was meant to be a part of that happiness. It was perfect really. Poetic. Snow had caused Regina to lose her first real chance at happiness and now it seemed her daughter was going to be her second chance at it now. They could be each other's happy ending. This will work out. I know it will.
~ (SQ) ~
Henry had barely hung up with his Grandmother when he heard Regina's bedroom door close quietly. The music that had been playing on repeat had stopped soon after. Henry breathed a sigh of relief. At least she was out of the bath.
Henry pulled out a comic book and flopped on his belly on his bed. He wanted to stay close in case Regina called him. He was supposed to be going over to Nick's to work on a project tonight, but he had called and cancelled. Being here was more important right now.
There was a quiet tapping on his open door. Henry turned to see his mother in the doorway. She was fully dressed in what she considered her casual clothes. They were still dressier than most people wore, but she called them casual. Her hair was perfect, her make-up light. Henry wondered if she had magicked herself ready.
"Can I come in?" Her voice was light, her smile practiced.
"Sure." Henry scooted over, still on his tummy, making a space for her to sit.
Regina frowned at him before she sat and reached over, pulling off his shoes and dropping them on the floor. "Honestly Henry, why do you insist on wearing your sneakers on the bed?" She lightly swatted his rear and nudged him over with her hip. Henry scooted just a bit more to the side making room for her. She laid beside him on the bed and looked at his book. "Wolverine? I always did love that guy."
Henry cocked his head to the side and smiled at her. "Nu-uh. You always loved Magneto. Don't even play." The smile that filled Regina's face now was genuine.
"Well, sue me. I have a soft spot for villains." She winked at him then. He might have believed things were ok if not for the close proximity of her face. He could see she had been crying.
"Are you ok?" Henry looked at the comic book as he spoke.
There was a beat of silence and Regina answered, her eyes on the comic as well. "Yes. Everything is fine."
"Fine? So what's with the long bath and Nat Cole on repeat?" Henry still didn't turn to face her, but cut his eyes to the side to gauge her reaction.
"Oh, um… I just needed a soak, I suppose. It was a long drive and Miss Swan's vehicle is less than sanitary. But yes, everything is fine." Regina kept her eyes glued to the page.
Henry sat up abruptly. "Mom. Something is wrong. I know it. You know it. So we may as well talk about it."
"Henry, there is nothing to talk about. We went to Boston. We bought dresses. She is marrying the pirate in two months and I am going to support her. End. Of. Discussion." With that, Regina rolled onto her side facing her son, leaned on her elbow and propped her head on her hand. "Can we just relax for five minutes and look at this comic?"
Henry remained sitting. He looked at his mother for a long moment, willing her to speak by his silence and his stare.
"You may as well give it up. It isn't going to work, dear."
"What isn't gonna work?" Henry blanched. Was she wise to his meddling with Snow?
"What do you mean, what? That puppy dog face. There is nothing to discuss. Your mother and I are adults. We do not need you to worry about our relationship. We can resolve our own issues. You've worried and helped enough for a lifetime. I'm sorry that things are such a mess right now but I'm going to stop moping around and get my act together. I promise. Your mother and I… well, we spent the weekend in Boston and nothing happened except I realized more than ever that she doesn't love me. I'm sure she cares in a way but not like I love her. I have to accept it and I have to get on with living my life." Regina rolled back on to her stomach and flipped the page in the comic.
Henry stared at her for a long moment. This was not good. But Snow had said if it was meant to be, it would be. Didn't people in the movies and books always go through horrible times of confusion and separation before they finally got together in the end? Please, let this be that kind of story.
Henry laid down again by Regina. "Mom, I know you don't want to talk to me about it. That's ok. I mean, I'm just a kid—and your son—so I get that would be awkward. But, I wish you would talk to somebody, even if it isn't me."
"Are you suggesting I go back to therapy?" Regina said more flippantly than she felt. Maybe she should call Archie.
"No, not therapy. But maybe just talk about it with a friend." Henry laid his head down on his folded arms and looked at his mother.
"Well, my best friend is out of the question. The only other person I really trust to discuss it with is Snow and there is no way in hell I am going to tell her." Regina mirrored her son's posture and looked at him with a sad smile. Sometimes you look so much like her.
"Mom, c'mon. Number one, you've got more friends than that. And number two, grandma would probably be more open to the talk than you think." Henry smiled a lopsided grin.
Regina furrowed her brow. "Henry? What did you do?"
Henry's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Had he overplayed his hand? "What did I do? I don't know what you mean. I haven't—"
"Henry Daniel Mills!" Regina sat up and frowned fully at her son. "What did you do?"
"Mom! I just… listen… I just told her that you were crying that night. I was upset and—"
"You told Snow!? Oh, Henry! Why on earth would you tell her of all people?" Regina stood and stalked across the room, her hands on her hips.
"Because, aside from mom and me, nobody loves you as much as Gram. And I really don't know why you are so upset. She's on our side. She's been trying to help—"
"Help? What do you mean, help?" Before Henry could answer Regina's mind filled in the blanks. "Oh, for the love of—is that why we had to share a room? That was helping?"
"Yeah. We thought if you were alone together—"
"Henry. I should ground you for the rest of your life for this. It didn't help. Not at all. I just got my hopes up and my feelings crushed all over again." Regina sat heavily down on Henry's bed and took a deep breath, slowly blowing it out.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Mom. I just wanted to help." Henry turned his face away from his mother. He was crying. Regina's anger began to subside and she stroked his hair comfortingly.
"Don't cry, buddy. I know, you meant well. It's that damn Charming DNA. You can't help it. But, you promised not to meddle." Regina's voice was soothing as she tried to calm him.
Henry turned to face her. "I know. But Grandma says that Ma loves you back. She said that you both just needed a nudge in the right direction. She was trying to help."
"She said that Emma loves me?"
Henry laid his head in his mother's lap. He hadn't done that in years. "Yep. She said she could see it and that Ma just doesn't know it yet. But she said if this was meant to be, it would be."
Regina looked down into the face of her baby boy, now so grown up. He seemed so sure, so full of hope. But she didn't feel that way. Not anymore. She ran her hand through his hair and thought a long moment before she spoke.
"Henry, I agree with your grandmother. If we are meant to be, then we will be. But I need you to stop trying to make things happen. Please? I will talk to Snow about this later. But I need you to drop it and let your mother and I handle it. And please understand this part especially." She paused until Henry nodded he was listening. "No matter what happens or doesn't happen between Emma and me, we both love you more than anything. I'm sorry you have to know about all this stuff going on but the most important thing to us both is that you are happy and safe and loved. And nothing and no one will ever change that, ok?"
"Ok, Mom." Henry hesitated a moment. "And… I'm sorry things aren't going so good right now. But I know they will turn around. Just wait and see."
"Well, I hope you are right. Now, didn't you have a project to work on tonight with Nick? What are you doing here?" Regina stood and made her way to his door.
"Yeah. I cancelled in case you needed me." Henry gave her a sheepish grin and shrugged.
"Oh, my sweet boy." Regina shook her head at him. "Call Nick and tell him you are coming and then get over there. I won't have you missing school work over Nat King Cole." She winked at him and started out the door.
Henry got up and reached for his phone but stopped short, calling out to Regina. "Hey, Mom?"
"Yes, dear?" Regina stepped back in the door.
"How'd you know? I mean, about me and Gram? I didn't really say anything to give it away. How'd you know?" Henry fixed his mother with a curious gaze.
Regina smirked and answered as she walked away. "Because I'm your mother, Henry. And mothers always know."
~ (SQ) ~
Regina sat in her study on the sofa, a glass of red wine in her hand. Henry had been gone less than five minutes and already the house felt unbearably empty. Maybe her son was right. Maybe she did need to talk to someone about what was going on.
Taking a slow sip from the glass, Regina made a decision. She walked to her desk and picked up her cell phone before dropping back down on the sofa. This was the exact spot she had sat the night she met Emma. Emma had sat there, across from her, in front of the fireplace.
They had barely spoken two minutes before she had shooed the stranger out of her house. The brunette had been terrified of Emma and her intentions. In retrospect she realized she may have caused herself more problems by over reacting. But now, knowing Emma like she did, having her in her life, raising Henry together… well, she couldn't bring herself to regret it.
Regina swirled the wine around in her glass. Yes. Henry was right. She needed to talk to someone about this and she knew just the person who would understand. Scrolling through her contacts, she hit send and rang the phone of the blonde she knew would listen and help her figure this out.
"Hello, Mal. Yes, it has been a while. Listen, are you busy right now? Great. See you in five? Ok. I'll have the wine poured when you get here."
Regina hung up the phone and took another sip of wine. Maleficent. Now there was someone who could keep a secret.
~ (SQ) ~
Emma sat in her bug outside the bed and breakfast. She had been sitting here for at least twenty minutes now. Her hand was on the box with Ruby's dress inside, but her mind was far away.
"Oh Swan… can't you see. She's in love with you."
Emma stood dumbfounded, her mouth gaping open. She had not expected Killian to say that. The pirate stood patiently waiting for Emma to say something—anything—in response.
"Well. Aren't you going to try to deny it?" Hook sat heavily down at the table by his bed, drinking again from his rum flask.
Emma was still silent. In love with me? "No, I'm not going to deny it because that would make it seem like it was worth considering. Is that your second round on the flask, Kil, or have you just officially lost your mind?"
The pirate gestured toward Emma with his hook-hand. "Oh, I assure you I am sober and I am dead serious, Swan. That old witch loves you. And I am sure she is trying to take you from me."
"Take me… Ok, first of all I don't belong to you, so no one can steal me from you. And secondly… no way in hell she loves me. We are just friends. I know you don't understand it. I know it isn't a traditional kind of friendship, but that is all it is. If she loves me at all, it is as very platonic friends—nothing more." Emma meant the words but the thought of Regina being in love with her just kept swirling around in her mind, a lone leaf of autumn floating along the surface of a lake, free and unfettered, drifting across every inch of the water of its own accord.
Killian offered up a cynical smile and raised both hands as if to surrender. "Whatever you say, love."
They two stared at each other as the silence became uncomfortable. Finally Emma moved close to her fiancé and kissed him lightly. "I have laundry to do. I'll call you later, ok?"
"Sure. Tell the queen hello for me."
Emma had gone out to her bug then and headed toward the loft. As she parked next to the curb she realized her face was wet with tears. She hadn't been aware she was crying and she honestly didn't know why she was. Oh Swan… can't you see. She's in love with you.
Snow had tried her best to get some information out of Emma while she was there, but she couldn't stop to chat. She needed to think. She needed to see Regina. If she could just look into those molten chocolate orbs… then she could put all this love talk out of her mind. She'd look into her eyes and she would know. They were just friends—nothing more.
Emma had called Regina even as her car headed toward Mifflin Street by habit.
"Hi." Emma tried to sound normal.
"Hello." Did Regina sound different somehow?
"I know I just saw you a few minutes ago, but… I um…" I heard you're in love with me, "I had some laundry to do and wondered if I could come over." Emma rolled her eyes at her own ineloquence.
"I am actually doing several loads myself, Miss Swan. Perhaps some other time." Regina's tone seemed distant and cool toward her. But the outright rejection is what hit Emma first.
"Oh. Oh, yeah. Of course. Yeah. You have laundry too. I shouldn't have assumed. I'm sorry. I just… I thought…" I just wanted to see you.
"It's quite alright… Emma. Tonight just isn't a good time. Henry has a project and I am going to have a bath and head to bed early."
"Ok. I've gotta take Ruby her dress tonight too, so I guess I'll talk to you tomorrow? Maybe I can stop by the office with lunch? We haven't done that in a while." Emma tried not to sound pathetic, but she couldn't take another rejection now. No, not with the thoughts in her head.
Regina was quiet for a long moment. "Ok. That sounds good. Bring your paperwork and we can call it a working lunch and let the town pay for it." Emma could hear something in Regina's voice for the first time since they had laughed about the Golden Girls last night. She was smiling. "And tell Miss Lucas to call me if the dress needs to be altered. I will make her an appointment with my tailor."
"Yes, ma'am, Madam Mayor. See you tomorrow."
Emma had gone straight to the laundromat then. She had sat there, listening to the hum and swoosh of the machines around her, letting her mind wander. Oh Swan… can't you see. She's in love with you.
Hook's words seemed be branded into her brain. She'd pulled her bag from the car and loaded one machine with colors and started it. Does she love me?
She'd dumped her whites into another machine, feeding it quarters. But, how could she? Why would she?
Just as she went to shut the lid on the machine Emma saw her tank top in the bottom of her bag. It was the one she'd been wearing last night, with Regina cradled in her arms. Regina. Emma pulled it from the sack and, glancing around to see if she was being watched, she had pulled it to her face and inhaled deeply.
A sort of calmness settled over her and she breathed in a combination of her own scent and one that was entirely Regina. Does she love me? Do I love her?
While the clothes washed and dried, Emma tried to catalogue any actions she could think of that Killian would have misconstrued as love. He clearly had seen something in the interaction between the women that he was interpreting as love that was probably just best friend behavior.
This exercise only left Emma feeling more confused. So they had lunch, often. So they cuddled on the couch… in Regina's office and at the mansion on Mifflin. So she had a key to the house, a room there, a toothbrush in the bathroom. That was normal. Isn't it?
None of those things looked like love to Emma. Regina did seem pretty protective of her. And sometimes she stared at her longer than should be considered polite. So they held hands sometimes when no one was around. So what? Emma had held hands with plenty of platonic, not in love with each other friends. Like… Emma was sure there were some. Like… Lily.
Emma's face had flushed then and she looked around to see if anyone had noticed. Lily wasn't a good example. Lily wasn't a platonic friend. Lily had been her first love, even before Neal. Ok, so maybe not Lily. But someone.
But then Emma's mind had conjured up last night. She thought about how beautiful Regina looked in that blue dress. It had accentuated all the best parts of the brunette's body. Her golden shoulders exposed, her silken black locks loose about them… She truly is remarkable.
Emma shook her head. She was looking for examples of Regina being in love with her, not the other way around. Focus, Swan.
She had considered then the moment by the window. Regina was just a tad shorter than the blonde. Emma felt a natural urge to comfort and protect her. She had pulled her close but it hadn't meant anything, had it? Regina had surrendered to her embrace but that was just their way, wasn't it?
Emma imagined how the brunette's face had looked, so close in the dim light. Her eyes had been black coals afire, staring into Emma's very soul. The blonde had felt as if they two were the only people in the world in that moment. She had let go every tether holding her to the earth and felt like she was floating through a starlit sky, this incredible and complex creature in her arms.
If Emma dared be honest with herself, she had felt an unbidden desire to kiss Regina then. Her full red lips seemed to call out for Emma's touch and she had watched, mesmerized as a pink tongue had darted out, a silent invitation The blonde felt warmth begin in her chest now even thinking about it. She had searched Regina's face for some kind of consent, tried to convey her interest silently. She'd chickened out and only let her lips press gently against Regina's forehead.
She'd pulled back then and tried again to find the answers in turbulent dark eyes. But the magic was destroyed, her feet firmly planted back on solid ground by the ringing of her phone. Oh Swan… can't you see. She's in love with you.
Is she in love with me? And… am I in love with her?
Emma had tried to think of anything but Regina as she finished her laundry and packed it in the car. She was going to see Ruby. And Ruby would distract her from this train of thought. Ruby would make her laugh and forget for a minute.
But Emma had been sitting here, outside the bed & breakfast, thinking about Regina instead of going in to see her friend. A thought had occurred to Emma on the drive over and it seemed to put an end to her wondering. Of course Regina wasn't in love with her. Regina is straight.
Emma hadn't personally broadcast her own sexual preferences around town, so no one knew she had an interest in both men and women. But it seemed to her Regina was not like Emma at all. Every story Emma had ever heard about Regina had included a man. Daniel. Leopold. Graham. Robin.
Emma wasn't sure if she felt relief or grief to think Regina wasn't actually in love with her because she wasn't actually interested in women at all. Relief, Swan. You feel relief. You are getting married and she is your best friend.
Emma frowned. Why had she let Hook's little jealous rant get to her? But he hadn't been ranting at all, had he? No, he had seemed rather calm considering. He seemed so certain, so—
"Are you gonna come in or should I call the sheriff about a strange woman lurking outside my house?" Ruby tapped gently on the window of the bug, waking Emma from her thoughts.
"Hey, Rubes. Sorry. Lost in thought." Emma opened the door and pulled out the box with the dress. The two women shared a side-hug and headed inside and up to Ruby's room.
After some squeals of delight and excited talk of the wedding, Ruby had slipped into her bathroom and put on the dress. When she stepped into the room it was apparent the dress would require a few alterations. It was too loose in some places, a bit snug in others.
"This dress is amazing! Did Regina pick it out?" Ruby turned about, looking at herself in the mirror.
"Yeah, she did. I mean, I got to help but she pretty much decided." Emma smiled at Ruby's excited twirling.
"It is so elegant! I look like a fucking princess!" Ruby twirled again. "Although, I might need Granny to take this up a bit."
"No worries. Regina said her tailor will make any alterations for you." Emma watched Ruby turn again but her mind slipped back to Regina. Golden shoulders, silken hair cascading down, breasts pressed against her chest in the moonlight, just one kiss…
"Emma! Hello?! Where'd you just go?" Ruby was stood directly in front of Emma, hands firmly on her hips.
"Oh, uh, I guess… I… Just got some stuff on my mind. You look great Ruby." Emma tried to recover. She had to stop this. Regina was straight and most definitely not in love with her.
Ruby frowned at Emma for a moment before slipping again into her bathroom. She returned a moment later in her jeans and red plaid shirt, tied at her waist leaving a strip of her tummy exposed.
"Alright. Spill."
"Spill what?" Emma said, feigning ignorance.
"Spill whatever has you out in space today. Don't lie. I can smell the stress from across the room." Ruby tapped a finger against her nose for emphasis.
Emma considered a moment. She could trust Ruby. She would just tell her enough to satisfy her curiosity and be on her way.
"Uh, it's nothing really. Hook just said something about Regina… being in l—" Emma paused. Maybe she wasn't going to tell her that much. "About Regina being into women. You know he is always saying if I ever wanted a threesome we should invite her. I just keep thinking number one—rude. And number two—he's crazy, right? He doesn't know Regina at all."
"Yes, rude. But he isn't crazy. I mean, she might not be into a threesome these days, and maybe never with Killian, but rumor has it…" Ruby flopped down on her bed and let her words fade out.
Emma's eyes popped wide. Rumor has it? "What are you saying, Ruby? I mean, I know when she was full on Evil Queen she was probably a force to be reckoned with on the battle field and in the bedroom, but she's only ever been with guys that I know of."
"That you know of." Ruby smiled a decidedly wolfish grin. "Listen Emma, I don't want to tarnish your view of your BFF, but Regina isn't exactly vanilla."
"I know that. We literally just had this discussion. But Regina is straight." Emma felt a tremor in her stomach. She is straight, right?
Ruby burst into laughter, clutching her stomach as she rolled onto her back. Emma stood from her chair and sat on the bed. "What's so funny?"
"I just think it is hilarious that after all you know about Regina—she was the Evil-fucking-Queen, Em—that you can't imagine her as being into women." Ruby continued to laugh but finally regained control, sensing Emma did not find this funny in the least. "Emma. Regina isn't straight."
"But…" Emma stopped and looked very confused. "All the stories are about men."
"Yeah, how long have you been living in this realm? Aren't literally ALL the fairytales about powerful men, damsels in distress and villains with no motivation other than pure evil? Did you think they'd be selling you conflicted Evil Queen who loves the ladies in your second grade reader?" Ruby rolled onto her side and studied Emma. "But what difference does it make. Aren't we just really talking about how rude it is for your fiancé to keep trying to pimp you out for his little ménage à trois fantasy to come true?"
Emma looked away from Ruby's curious gaze. "Yeah. I mean, yeah. But, I guess I am just surprised to hear Regina is… gay? Bi? What is she, exactly?"
Emma looked then at Ruby again. Ruby held her gaze for a long moment, looking for something. She shrugged and went on. "Well, in our world, we don't really go in for labels as much as they do here. I guess if I had to use a term from this world, I'd say she's maybe pan. But this is all speculation. Very few people were brave enough to ask questions about her back home. But I guess it was pretty much common knowledge she took a number of lovers, men and women. I always figured she was more fluid in her sexuality. I think most people are if they are honest. Not really attracted to a gender so much as to a person, a personality, some extra thing you can't quite name. That's what I am."
Emma's eye widened again. "You?! You're gay? But Peter… and Billy…"
"Emma. Are you listening at all? I just told you. Fluid sexuality. Into men, women, whatever. In our world that might mean you love a fairy or an elf or a wolf. But yeah. I like the ladies from time to time." Emma watched as a mist of memory floated over Ruby's face. She clearly had someone in particular in mind. "So, yeah. Regina isn't straight."
Emma didn't know what to say. Maybe Regina did love her? Maybe.
"You really should be asking Snow about this though. She knows more than I do. She lived with her during the scandal."
"Scandal?" Emma forgot to worry about her love life for a second. Scandal piqued her interest.
"Oh yeah. Huge scandal back when Regina first married the king. Rumors were flying all over that she was studying magic with Rumpelstiltskin which was bad enough, but then we heard she was seen frequently visiting Maleficent's castle. Talk about gossip! Even years later they were talking about it in my village. How do you think I heard about it?"
"But, a magic scandal isn't evidence of her being… fluid. She told me Mal taught her some magic. They were major frenemies back then." Emma shrugged off a twinge of jealousy. Mal was her friend. And so am I.
"Oh, she learned magic from her all right. The story was that one of Mal's lone servants, an old woman who had braved working for her for decades, came into town for a drink every Friday night and one night after throwing back a few too many she told of how she had seen the young queen and the dragon lady… in a compromising position. Apparently it spread like wild fire, even reaching the palace. Not long after Regina stopped leaving the palace at all. She didn't even travel with King Leopold and Snow on trips to visit other kingdoms. And no one ever saw that old servant woman again." Ruby's voice was drawing Emma into the story.
"What happened to her? The old woman?" Emma whispered.
"I don't know. Some say she was suitably punished by the king for gossiping about his wife. Some say Maleficent fried her ass in dragon form for causing her to lose her lover. But I always thought maybe she ran off for fear. I mean, she was tangling with two powerful sorceresses and a king for goodness sake. Stupid old hag. Never gossip about magic beings. It's hazardous to your health."
Ruby laughed and sat up. Emma had drifted away again. "Em? Earth to Emma? Hello? What is with you tonight?"
"Hey, Ruby. I'm sorry. I gotta go." With that, she was gone.
Ruby shook her head. She would never understand why Emma didn't just go ahead and admit she was nuts about Regina. It would make life so much easier for everyone.
~ (SQ) ~
Emma sat in her bug in front of 108 Mifflin Street. The house wasn't dark. In fact, a light was on in Regina's bedroom. Emma could see the glow of the bedside lamp. That meant Regina was still up despite her saying she was going to sleep early tonight. Emma glanced down at her dashboard clock. Had she really only been home from Boston four hours? It wasn't even 9pm yet and somehow in the short span of time, her life had become something she didn't recognize. But suddenly it felt like a place she might like more than ever before.
Ruby's story had served to spur Emma into action. Maybe Hook was right. Maybe Regina was in love with her. And maybe… no. No maybe. She was definitely feeling more than friendly feelings for Regina, though she wasn't quite ready to say love.
She needed to see Regina, needed to look into those probing, questioning eyes. She needed to hold the woman to her chest and breathe her in. She needed to ask and have an answer. Does she love me?
Emma got out of the car and traced her finger along the key she had to the front door. She could easily let herself in, slip upstairs to Regina's room. Perhaps the brunette had fallen asleep reading with the lamp on. She could see her propped up on her pillows, her face free of makeup, a book steepled across her chest, those adorable glasses she insisted she did not need still resting on her perfect little nose. Emma would slip the book from her hand and lean close and gently kiss her awake.
Wow, that sounds very Twilight of you, Swan. Creepy.
No. Emma slid her keys into her jacket pocket. She would knock on the door and Regina would answer it. She'd be wearing that short, silk gown Emma had seen the morning she'd made pancakes. She'd be hurriedly tying her gray silk robe around her waist and at first she'd frown at being bothered but then her eyes would soften and she'd invite Emma in for a drink.
Emma tried to suppress the surge of emotion this image brought forward. She needed to calm down. She could be terribly wrong. Regina might not feel anything for her beyond friendship. She didn't want to be rejected. Hook was safe. He loved her. He wanted her. What if Regina turned her away?
Emma paused on the porch, her hand raised to knock. It wasn't too late. She could turn back. Forget this ever happened. She was getting married. What if Regina said no?
Emma ignored the voice of fear in her mind and listened only to the pounding of her heart. She loves me. I know she does. Regina loves me.
Emma rapped her knuckles firmly on the door and waited. She could hear movement behind the door. She was coming. Everything was about to change. The door slowly opened.
"Hi Emma." There stood Maleficent, clutching closed Regina's gray silk robe. "Come in. Regina should be down in a minute. She's changing clothes."
Emma stood shocked, her feet rooted to the porch. "Maleficent."
"Yes. It's me. Come in. It's cold and this robe isn't helping much." She smiled and opened the door wide to allow Emma inside.
Suddenly Emma felt like she might pass out. Her mind was reeling and her stomach churning. She swayed a bit on her feet and couldn't form words. Maleficent.
"Emma? Are you alright? Please, come in. Regina?!" Mal called up the stairs and reached a hand for Emma who was leaning heavily against the white column to her left.
Emma jerked back from Maleficent's touch as if she had been burned. "No. No, I won't come in. I'm sorry. I should have called first. I didn't mean to interrupt. I… I have to go. I…"
Maleficent watched as Emma's wild and unfocused eyes filled with tears and as quickly as she had come, Emma disappeared down the walk. The yellow bug roared to life and squealing tires sent Emma into the night.
~ (SQ) ~
Emma stumbled down the steps leading below deck on the Jolly Roger. The racket she was making roused the ship's captain from his seat. He opened the door to his quarters in time to receive the blonde into his arms.
Before he could react, Emma kissed his forcefully, her lips bruising against his own. Hook pushed her back trying to see her face. "Swan? What's going on, love?"
Emma silenced him with another searing kiss, pushing him with her body back toward his bed. Her fingers worked quickly undoing the buttons on his shirt. Hook allowed her to continue, aroused and confused by her aggressive behavior.
"Swan. Emma, what is going on? I thought you were angry." He tried to speak between heated kisses. Emma continued to pull at his clothes and push him back until they both fell onto the bed.
Emma pulled back and looked him in the face. She sat up, straddling him and began to unbuckled his belt. "Well, I suppose we can go back to arguing if you like? Or we can have some fun." Emma ground her hips down into him, causing him to groan in pleasure.
"Oh no, my pet. I much prefer this side of you. Come here and show me how much you missed me." Killian pulled Emma flush against him and palmed her breast violently. She knew tomorrow there would be a bruise. His rum laced breath began to whisper in her ear words that had once excited her with their depravity. But tonight they made her blood run cold.
But he loves me. He wants me. And she never will.
Emma focused on her lover's movements, his sounds, his rough touch. Anything but Regina… and the image of Maleficent standing there in her gray silk robe.
End note: Yes, I seem to like bringing music into the story. I hope you are enjoying the songs I mention. Be sure to look up "Smile" by Nat King Cole. And thank you Jenn for reminding me about that old song. I had almost forgotten.