"Colton, don't pull the diapers down," Lindsay admonished, her words futile as the basket of diapers came tumbling down to the ground. He laughed and clapped his hands then grabbed a diaper and flung it across the room, watching delightedly as it hit the wall.

"Oh my word," Lindsay sighed, ignoring the mess for the time being and continuing to sort clothes. Everything that was too big went into one pile, too small into another, and just right into yet another pile. She was making a list of the clothes Colton was going to need soon and the idea of putting him in the next size up made her head spin.

"Mama."

"Colton Matthew Ross. What did you do that for?" she asked despairingly, looking down at the pile of wipes he had pulled out of the container and spread on the floor. Abandoning her project she moved over and put the wipes back then stood up and scooped Colton off the floor, depositing him in the crib.

"You're driving me nuts, kid," she explained, closing the window and turning on his nightlight. He grumped at her but she ignored him, tucking his blanket around him and making sure his new favorite toy, a stuffed Mario was in easy reach. He wailed as she moved away from the crib, but it was his naptime anyway and he'd been getting away with not sleeping during the day a lot lately.

She moved out of the room and into the kitchen where a weeks worth of dishes waited for her. Groaning, she yanked the hot water on and let the sink slowly fill before going to the dryer and pulling out the load that Adam had started before he left for work. She shook out the pillowcases and was shaking out the sheet when she realized that something was very wrong.

He'd dried the cotton sheets on high, shrinking them. It could have happened to anyone, and it probably would have happened to her had she been the one to start the load. It didn't make her feel any better though and she wondered if there was an easy way to fix this problem. Figuring she would just make the bed as best she could, she took the sheets into the bedroom and threw them on the floor, then stood there a second, debating whether or not she should make it now or later.

A splashing noise from the kitchen made her decision and she went back in there to find hot soapy water overflowing the sink and landing on the floor. She cursed and grabbed the hand towel off of the counter and tossed it on the floor, then shut the water off. Definitely not her day. She mopped up the floor and came up with a dirty towel, sighing as she realized the floor needed to actually be mopped. She looked from the dishes to the floor, trying to decide which to conquer first when there was a knock on the door. Glad for the distraction, she wiped her hands on her jeans and went to the door.

"Hey Aust. What's up?"

"We're going to meet Danny for lunch, I figured I'd drop off the Tupperware you left the other night."

"Oh, thanks."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, just a long day."

"You look three sighs and a couple curses past just a long day."

"Maybe."

"I'm running about ten minutes early; you want to talk about it?"

"It's not a big deal. It's just that Adam and I are both working about sixty hours this week and they don't overlap, which means we're never home together either."

"So you're not sleeping and you miss him."

"It's bad. He gets home from work just as I have to leave and then I come home and lay down with him for an hour or two before he has to leave and then I don't get any more sleep once he's gone. I guess we're lucky that one of us is always home with Colton, but we only see each other long enough to pass him off. I don't think we've really talked to each other in at least three days, if not more. You know how it's been, Danny's been working a lot too."

"He hasn't been home much either. But I'm still only part time, so I still get to see him. When's your next shift?"

"Four. Adam gets off at three then I go in and come home after midnight and then Adam's leaving because he pulled graves for the next three days."

"How long have you been doing this?"

"Almost two weeks."

"No wonder you look so sad."

"It'll be over soon. Mac said that the people that are on vacation will all be back sometime in the next week or so. That should help a little, but we've got a huge case and everyone is having to testify on other cases and it's just crazy right now."

"Can I do anything?"

"Put more hours in a day."

"I'll work on it. You should go take a nap."

"I can't. This place has gone to pot and it's driving me crazy. I have to clean it up."

"Stubborn."

"I know."

"I'm going to go, but seriously, if you need anything…"

"You'll be my first call."

It was only an eight hour shift, comparatively short when taken into account the ten hour ones they had both had to pull lately. She arrived home at half past midnight, finding Adam sitting on the couch, putting his shoes on. He looked even more tired than she was, but she was only going to have nine hours between shifts too. Of course he hadn't slept much, as he had had to play daddy while she was at work. He was probably running on about four hours, interrupted. She looked right at him and missed him so much she could almost cry.

"How was work?"

"I don't want to depress you, but it still feels like we're drowning in trace and fingerprints and bodily fluids."

"Thanks for the image babe. I gotta go."

"Alright."

"I'll see you in the morning."

"For thirty seconds."

"Hey, c'mere."

She took one stop closer to him and he framed her face with his hands kissing her softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

"We've got to stop meeting like this."

"Yes please."

He kissed her a few more times then reluctantly let her go, heading for the door.

"Go get some sleep honey. This craziness will be over soon."

She sighed and watched him go, sinking down to the couch and fighting the tears of exhaustion that were creeping up on her. This was no way to live and she wasn't sure how much longer she could stand it. She missed whispering in the dark, about nothing and everything at the same time. She missed being held securely all night long. She missed waking up still in his arms, safe and rested and content. She missed morning make-out sessions and racing for the coffee pot and fighting over the last serving of cereal. She missed long goodbyes and long hellos and the ability to steal five minutes to at least have a conversation. They usually worked opposite shifts, but had their days off together to make up for it. But this was too much.

She rubbed her face and sighed, then stood up from the couch and locked the front door, switching off all the lights. She didn't need to check on Colton, his snoring was indication enough that he was fine. Flicking the hall light off, she moved into the bedroom, exchanging her clothes for one of Adam's t-shirts and crawling under the covers. She grabbed his pillow and pulled it under her head, then reached over and set the alarm. It wasn't like she wasn't going to be up all night anyway, tossing and turning, trying to convince herself that she in fact could sleep without him.

She closed her eyes and clenched up every muscle in her body, then slowly released them, letting out a long sigh at the same time. It certainly calmed her body but not her mind, which continued to ruminate on that fact that she was alone. She couldn't remember how she had ever slept without him.

Rolling over, she figured that she might as well use her mind if it was going to be running anyway. She focused it all on one memory, trying to make herself believe that she was back there, living it again.

Rain pounded against the window and there was a thunderclap or two in the distance. His forehead rested against hers and he held her completely against him, safe and warm. Quiet words were passed between them, words of love and hope and future, eyes locking and promising what was said. She felt herself giving in to sleep, her breathing slower and slower until she hovered somewhere between beautiful dreams and wonderful reality, and she found herself unsure of which one to surrender to. A soft pressing of his lips to hers told her that it was okay to slide into sleep; he'd join her there soon and when she woke up he would be there too. It was the first time in her whole life that she had felt so wonderfully cherished and cared for, not even one grain of doubt in her mind, not one voice telling her she didn't deserve this. She melted into him, whole and refined and safe.

Rewind.

Replay.

Over and over the memory ran and she desperately grabbed onto the feelings, settling them into her mind and heart and using them as a sort of security blanket to fall asleep. The more she played the memory over the further away sleep drifted. She couldn't fake herself into that kind of sanctuary, even if she did lay there for over two hours trying.

Frustrated, she sat up, drawing her knees up to her chest and resting her chin on them, debating her next move. She could try a sleeping pill, but she didn't have the allotted eight hours to sleep now. She could get up and at least do something constructive, but she desperately needed sleep in some form or another. Reluctantly, she did the only thing she could think of to do and picked up the phone.

"Hey honey. What's the matter?"

His voice calmed her immediately and she snuggled back down into the covers, wrapping herself around his pillow again.

"I can't sleep."

"Why not?"

"I miss you," she confessed, her voice betraying her and cracking pitifully.

"Oh babe…"

"I've been laying here for two hours and I can't even get close to sleeping. I am so tired and I miss you and I just want you here."

"Do you want me to take a long lunch break and come home for a little while?"

"No don't do that. I think I just needed to hear you."

"Want me to stay on the phone for a while?"

"Will you? I'm sorry to call you, I just-"

"Hey. I miss you too sweetie. I don't like sleeping without you either. I can talk for a while."

She sniffled and wiped her eyes, glad he understood her so well.

"You want to hear what your son did today?" he asked, and she could tell he was smiling.

"My son? Must have been bad."

"He went into the kitchen and pulled all the pots out of the cupboard and chucked that little saucepan across the room. It hit the wall. You might notice a little chunk out of it. That would be where the handle hit."

"What is it with him throwing crap lately?"

"I don't know. I guess Danny's thing about him being a baseball player might come true."

"He's going to be too short to play football at least."

"Or basketball."

"Poor kid."

"Oh honey, I hate to do this to you, but I've got some results that Stella needs to see now. I gotta go."

"Okay."

"Sometime in the next few days I'm going to figure out a way to snag a couple hours together, I promise."

"Okay. I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight."

She couldn't squeak out the goodnight without crying so she just hung up.

It was over three days before he made good on his promise. The best he could do was switch shifts with Danny, who was more than happy to oblige since it freed up his time a little more too. He decided to surprise Lindsay with the extra time, not jumping up to head out the door as soon as she came home. She gave him a quick kiss and headed into the other room, oblivious to the fact that he was following her.

"Now just you wait a minute little lady," he said, sliding his arms around her waist, his breath warm on her ear.

"Don't you have to leave?" she asked, letting out a shuddering breath at the slight contact.

"Nope. Not until morning."

"You swear?"

"I swear."

She turned and wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shirt and holding on tighter than she ever had before.

"I don't want to do this ever again," she confessed, leaning back to look at him. He brushed her hair back and gave her a smile.

"I know, it sucks. But I don't want to think about that right now. I'd rather just look at you."

She smiled and reached up to run her hand over his face, taking in his bright and mischievous smile, his tired eyes. She could tell how desperately he had missed her too, and her heart tore just a little to remember the feeling.

"Where's Colton?"

"Austin's got him."

"That sure you were going to get lucky?"

He gave her an incredulous look.

"Well… it's you."

"What is that supposed to mean?" she asked with a laugh.

"I think you know."

Smirking, she slid her arms up around his neck and kissed him.

"So how long do we have?"

"Until eight. She said she could have both kids until then alone, but after that she couldn't guarantee her own sanity."

"Well at least she's honest."

His hands found her waist and held her close, nuzzling her neck softly.

"I missed you, baby."

"I missed you too."

They stood there for a long time, letting their shared existence speak the words they could not.