Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended.

Chapter Thirteen

The sound of water splashing faintly against tile woke me. Okay, it was actually the alarm on my phone that woke me up, but I did focus on the sound of water splashing against tile while struggling to keep my eyes open.

As I sat up in Edward's bed, body clad in both his clothes and beard burn, I had a few revelations.

First, Mondays are bullshit, especially when you've spent most of Sunday in an overly attractive friend's bed partaking in everything but sex. Second, I needed to start a regular workout routine because spending an entire day doing everything but sex apparently wore me out.

Before I could even begin to let myself think of a third revelation, the water being shut off in the bathroom stole my attention.

Prior to Edward entering the room, I busied myself by pretending to read something important on my phone. After Edward walked in, I busied myself by not being able to take my eyes off of his wet, hard body, which was merely covered by a towel.

"Hi there," I said, sitting up but keeping myself under his blanket.

He simply smiled and walked over to his dresser. I was then mesmerized by the muscles in his back as he dug through his drawer.

"Are you hungry?" he asked, turning around, a lone strand of wet hair falling into his eyes.

"Not really," I admitted quietly, shoving the blanket away from my body. After I stood, I stretched my arms above my head, wincing at the soreness of my muscles.

"Yeah, me either." He nodded, slipping a t-shirt over his head then dropping his towel right there in front of me before pulling on his boxers.

Holy fucking cock.

I swallowed and averted my gaze, unsure of how I was supposed to spend the day being productive when I knew I'd have that image in my head.

"Do you want-"

"To talk about this?" I interrupted, gesturing between the two of us.

"I was actually going to offer you coffee, but we could talk. If you want," he offered, scratching the back of his neck.

"Oh. I mean, I don't know..." I trailed off, glancing around the room for my discarded clothes.

"Say what you need to say, Bella," he urged, sitting on the edge of his bed and pulling me to sit on his lap.

"I really fucking hope you're not quoting John Mayer right now," I whined. His lack of response assured me that he had no idea what I was talking about.

"So...what?" I began, feeling his eyes on my lips as I spoke. "After yesterday we're like, friends with benefits?"

"Well," he sighed, tapping his fingers against my thigh. "We are friends," he stated.

"Yes." I refrained from rolling my eyes.

"And there are certain...benefits to our relationship. Like, I get to eat the leftover food from your plate," he teased.

"More like you eat from my plate before I'm finished."

His laugh was light before he pressed his lips to mine, then spoke again. "I also reap the benefit of seeing people's faces when you say something that shocks them."

"Edward." I sighed, both appreciative and annoyed at his lightness of the situation.

He tilted his head to the side, noticing my frustration. "Listen. I don't really know what we're doing, okay? What I do know is if you think about it too much, you're going to freak out."

My only response was silence because he was right.

"So...I'm supposed to not think about this?" I huffed, already becoming annoyed with the situation we were creating.

"That might work best."

"When has not thinking ever worked best in any situation?" I argued. "And the whole friends with benefits thing? I watch movies. I know how this is going to end."

"Enlighten me," he insisted, not holding back his smirk.

"We're going to start...whatever," I started, and he interrupted me with another kiss. "And then I'm going to become too attached. You'll become suffocated with my neediness and you're going to go out with the guys, fuck some random stripper, get her pregnant-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," he butted in. "I would at least use a condom. Give me some fucking credit, Bella."

"I don't think I like you right now."

"You do like me. That's the problem. You like me so much that you're getting worked up over me hypothetically impregnating a stripper," he pointed out, looking entirely too amused.

I sighed heavily. He shook his head at my dramatics and placed his lips on my neck, causing me to squirm from the feel of his unshaven face against my skin.

"I'm going to be late if I don't leave now," I said, and he grabbed hold of the back of my neck, keeping me in place as he kissed me deeply.

"Okay, okay." He patted my thigh twice and I stood. "We can talk about this later, yeah?"

"Alright."

"And for what it's worth..." he trailed off, staring down at me with his penetrating gaze. "I would never fuck a stripper."

"Oh my God," I groaned, laughing at his serious expression that eventually morphed into a grin. "I'll talk to you later."

Once I was back at my place, I somehow managed to shower, get ready, and make it to work with five minutes to spare. What I wasn't able to manage, was keeping my thoughts to innocent ones.

My not so innocent thoughts were interrupted by a freshly manicured hand being waved in front of my face.

"Oh. Hi, Tanya," I greeted, blatantly scrunching up my face so she'd know her gesture was not appreciated.

"Daydreaming on the job?" she snorted, taking the energy to roll her eyes.

You would be too if Edward's head was between your thighs yesterday, I wanted to brag. Instead, I gave her a small shrug, my way of telling her to fuck off. She obviously didn't catch on because she smiled and stayed in place, glancing over my shoulder at the schedule on the computer.

"My ten o'clock cancelled?" she questioned in devastation.

"Yeah. So did your two o'clock," I noted, giving her yet another shrug.

"God. What is wrong with these people?" she started to say, and a few customers in the waiting area glanced up to stare. "I'm just trying to make the world a better place, but how can I do that if people keep cancelling their appointments?"

"A better...less hairy place?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Her job as a waxer wasn't exactly vital to mankind.

She let herself lean back on the desk. "Exactly. You understand me."

I highly doubted that.

"Hey! Oh my gaw. You and Edward totally should have gone downtown with us Friday night," she said, not sounding at all like she wanted us to go downtown. "What did y'all end up doing, anyway?"

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, which consisted of the embarrassing events from Friday night. Deciding against bringing up making out with Edward and the prom dress incident, I went with what I knew would make this conversation end sooner rather than later.

"Not much. We went back to my place and ate carbohydrates," I casually recalled, receiving a slight shudder from the girl who lived a strict life on the Atkins diet.

Her nose wrinkled in disgust. "Well. To each their own." She smiled, eyeing the half eaten bagel sitting next to my purse.

"Okay, so..." I tapped my pen on the desk, trying to figure out why she was still standing there.

She suddenly lowered her head to keep whatever she was about to say out of earshot from the customers. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I replied hesitantly, leaning away from her.

"What's up with Edward?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

I wasn't exactly sure what she was asking, but images of him standing in his bedroom sporting something that was very much up entered my mind.

"What do you mean? Nothing's up," I muttered, my hands becoming sweaty.

"What the fuck ever," she said loudly, despite the room full of customers. "Is he seeing anyone?"

How the fuck was I supposed to answer that? Because no, he wasn't seeing anyone. We hadn't figured anything out yet, so I had no idea what we were doing. Although, we did see a lot of each other yesterday.

"Nothing serious. Not that I know of," I lied, and she smiled slowly.

"I might have a friend who's interested," she said, so smugly that I knew she was speaking about herself and not her stupid friend.

"Actually," I huffed. "I didn't want to say anything, but Edward is..." I paused, giving myself a second to think clearly and finish my sentence with something normal and honest. Instead, I took the low road and blurted out, "Gay. Edward is gay."

She hissed out a breath, eyeing me suspiciously. "He can't be. Have you seen his ass in jeans?"

I internally groaned, because yes. Yes, I had. I'd also seen his ass without jeans. And boxers.

"But he is gay," I countered. "He really is."

She didn't look convinced.

"I once heard him use the word canoodle," I said, with the widest eyes I could manage.

"That doesn't make him gay," she argued.

"No, but it does when I walk in on him and another guy doing just that." Tanya stared blankly, not quite understanding what I was getting at. "Canoodling," I explained. "They were canoodling."

"Maybe they were just-"

"He has a Pottery Barn credit card in his wallet!" I blurted out this time. That part was actually true, but only because he had a problem with saying no when asked if he wanted to receive twenty percent off a purchase by opening a line of credit.

Tanya gasped. "No!"

"Yes."

"Okay, I wasn't going to say anything, but his hair...does he style it that way? I mean, that has to be strategically coiffed bedhead, right?"

My work here was done.

"I told you," was all I could say.

"Wow." She laughed to herself, seeming somewhat relieved. "He turned me down when I propositioned him a year ago, so this makes so much sense now."

I let out a shaky laugh. "Say what now? You propositioned him?"

She nodded, unfortunately not going into any details. "Makes sense why the two of you haven't hooked up yet. It poses a problem if the guy can't pop a boner when he's around you."

"Yeah. I usually prefer that the guy I hook up with can pop a boner for me," I said distractedly, still focusing on the fact that she tried to hook up with him and he never told me.

Instead of asking more questions or creating more damage to Edward's reputation, I zipped my lips and picked up the phone, pretending it had just rang.

"Volturi Day Spa, Bella speaking," I said into the receiver, hoping to end this disastrous conversation. It apparently worked because Tanya motioned towards the back and disappeared.

The next hour and a half was fucking hell. Not only did I feel somewhat guilty for spreading rumors that Edward was gay, but I was also irrationally jealous that Tanya had tried to hook up with Edward, even if it was a year ago.

Though Edward and I made no plans to meet up for lunch, I headed to his part of town anyway and hoped he was able to take a break. Before I left his place, he mentioned he'd be spending the day giving in-studio lessons. I'd been here enough times that I was able to walk into the building without having to ask which room he was in.

Knocking twice, I opened the door and peeked my head inside to see Edward sitting by himself at the piano, studying the sheet music in his hand. It took a moment for him to look my way, but once he did, my chest tightened at the sight of his grinning face.

I stayed in place, unsure of how to publicly greet the guy I'd spent most of the weekend in bed with. But he wasn't just any guy, and I wasn't just any girl.

"Hey," he greeted, keeping his eyes on me while setting the sheet music on the piano.

"Are you busy? Can I come in?" I asked in a hushed voice, not sure if anyone else was in the room.

"Nah. I'm alone for about ten more minutes," he said, patting the bench. "Come in."

I walked inside, setting my bag against the wall and shutting the door behind me. I focused on the muted sound of my flats on the wood floor, feeling self conscious of the way his eyes stayed trained on me.

"Did you miss me?" he teased as I sat next to him.

I rolled my eyes. "I thought we could go to lunch. It's my turn to buy," I said, fully knowing he wouldn't allow such a thing.

He failed in his attempt to not roll his eyes. "I wish you would've text me before you headed over. I can't do lunch today," he said, sounding disappointed. "Some little punk moved his lesson up an hour."

"That's okay," I replied, waving him off.

"Since you're here though, you might as well play me something." His eyebrows raised in expectancy and he nodded towards the piano.

"Don't be ridiculous. I don't know how to play." I laughed, pressing one of the keys, letting the sound echo throughout the room. "The extent of my musical capability begins and ends with Guitar Hero."

He laughed, grabbing both of my hands. "You can't even play something simple like 'Chopsticks'?" he asked, the corner of his mouth lifting as I shook my head. "What about 'Heart and Soul'?"

"Nope. I swear I don't know how to play anything."

"Here. I'll teach you," he murmured, keeping my hands in his and placing them on the keys.

"You're going to regret this," I mumbled, laughing lightly.

"Nonsense. Watch." He placed his own fingers over mine and pressed down on the keys, creating a melody. "You'll repeat this part," he instructed, "which shouldn't be too hard."

He removed his hands and nodded for me to play on my own. I managed to fuck up the tune in a matter of five seconds.

"This is useless," I said, smashing the keys.

"Try again," he urged.

"No, I quit. You can play by yourself."

"It's a duet," he said flatly.

"So?"

"How does one play a duet by theirself?" he questioned. "You're not even trying."

"Because I don't want to," I shot back, not understanding why this mattered.

"You're being whinier than some of the kids I teach," he said, keeping the grin on his face.

"Whatever. Maybe it's because I'm annoyed you never told me Tanya tried hooking up with you," I blurted out, keeping my tone even and my gaze on the keys in front of me.

"You never told me you thought I was gay."

"What?" My head snapped up. "I don't-"

"Tanya texted me earlier, saying she knew a nice guy to set me up with," he explained, narrowing his eyes. "The whole thing reeked of Bella."

"Okay. So I told her you were gay. Big deal." I shrugged.

"And why would you go and do that?" he asked.

"She needed new gossip?" I questioned more than stated. His eyes burned into mine, trying to pull the truth out of me.

"Bella. Come on."

"Dammit," I cursed, crossing my arms. "She wants your boner, okay? I had to come up with something to keep her away from you."

"That makes sense," Edward immediately agreed. "I mean, it'd be utterly ridiculous to just admit that you want my boner."

"Fine. I freaked out, just like you said I would. Are you happy now?"

"Happy about what? That you want my boner or that you freaked out?" he asked, leaning closer and tilting his head, lightly pressing his lips to mine.

"I have no idea what I'm even going on about." I sighed, and this time it was me who leaned forward and kissed him. "I'm sorry."

"It's too late to apologize. It's too late," he sang.

I blinked. "You know, for a music teacher, you can't sing for shit."

"Hey," he protested. "But my job requires me to be good with my hands, not my mouth." He paused, smirking before he spoke again. "Although, yesterday you didn't seem to be complaining about what I can do with this mouth of mine."

Before I could offer to let him remind me, the door burst open and a kid walked into the room. His face lit up when he saw Edward, and he immediately ran in our direction, tripping over his shoes on the way.

"Hey, buddy," Edward greeted the kid, ruffling his hair. "Where's your Mom?"

The kid giggled and shrugged, keeping his eyes on me.

"Oh. So you drove here by yourself, then?" Edward questioned playfully.

I couldn't help but laugh along with the kid. And then the little fucker opened his mouth and I wanted to kick him in the shin.

"Is she your girlfriend?" the kid asked, covering his mouth to stifle his giggling.

"I'm a girl," I said, nodding uncomfortably. "And I'm his friend. So..."

"No, Seth, she's not my girlfriend," Edward added, scrunching his face in mock disgust. "Girls have cooties."

"Gross!" Seth cried.

"Super gross," I muttered, unsure of what else to say. "I guess I should go and let you...yeah." I stood from the bench and awkwardly waved goodbye to Seth, ignoring when he stuck his tongue out at me.

"He doesn't like me," I whispered as Edward walked me toward the door.

"Hello? It's because you have cooties," he pointed out, laughing at his joke.

"So does this mean I don't get a goodbye kiss?" I asked, stepping closer.

He glanced behind him to make sure Seth wasn't looking, then leaned in and gave me a quick kiss.

"Ewww!" Seth yelled from across the room. I held back from flipping him off.

"I'll be home pretty late because I have some birthday dinner shit to attend later," he said, and I felt his fingers lightly brush against mine. "We should go out to eat tomorrow night, though."

"Like...a date?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even.

"Yes, Bella." He smiled. "Like a date."

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked. "I mean, I don't know how to act normal around friend you, so I doubt I'll be able to act normal around date you."

He stared at me for a second, then began laughing. "Bella. I have zero expectations of you ever acting normal around me. It's fine."

"That's...extremely sad. But okay. We can go out to eat tomorrow night," I agreed.

"Fuck," Edward whispered when Seth began pounding on the keys. "I gotta go, but I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah, just make sure you don't go to any strip clubs later tonight," I warned, receiving a laugh and a kiss on the cheek.

"Nah, no worries. I don't have any condoms on me, anyway," he joked, dodging my hand before I was able to slap his arm.

I playfully scowled at the back of his head, and was about to leave when he turned around and said, "Tomorrow night. Seven o'clock."

It dawned on me that I had a mere thirty hours to learn how to act like a normal human being.

I needed Rose.

I needed tweezers.

I needed a miracle.

A/N: Hi. Um. Long time no see. K, bye.

No, but really...thanks so much for reading and not flouncing me. Or maybe you did flounce me and you only opened this update to read the author's note. Sorry I have nothing interesting to say.

Huge thanks to Kim and Julie for being amazingly helpful. They go above and beyond for me.