Natsu stumbled down the street, face pulled taut in an expression of concentration to keep himself upright, and self-loathing. Lucy played him like a fiddle; he could see that now. Shirt askew, belt of his pants loose, he tried not to trip over his own feet, still partially drunk and clumsy with exhaustion. He didn't know where he walked to, maybe home, maybe Fairy Tail, maybe to the river or to a bar to drown out his shame.
The air before him shimmered with grey, yet familiar light as a celestial portal opened. The portal itself was muted and small, and when Loke tumbled out of it clutching his side, Natsu saw why. The spirit was injured, a gash opened over his ribs where red leeched out and stained his hand. His hair and clothes were damp and his face was pale. He moaned and sweated on the ground, his eyes half-blanked and dull.
"Holy shit," Natsu cursed, sobering slightly. "What happened?" Then, "Is Lucy alright?" He looked back towards her apartment. He couldn't see it any longer, there were too many buildings in the way, but he wasn't far if she needed help.
Loke groaned and pushed himself up by the palms of his hands. "She's okay." Kind of. On his knees, he pinched the wound at his side and winced. Black tendrils were moving through him at lightning speed. It hurt. His head was foggy; Lucy had gotten him good, first with the kiss and then with the attack... Zeref's magic was filling him up.
With Loke's words, Natsu relaxed for a second, then his alcohol-slow brain started churning and he sharpened his gaze. "If Lucy is okay then what happened to you?"
Loke struggled to his feet and cringed around the blooming pain. His vision blurred.
When the spirit didn't answer right away, Natsu pressed. "Who attacked you?" It wasn't the first time he had seen Loke in a similar condition.
Loke met the dragon slayer's eyes steadily and wondered how he could say what needed to be said. Just spit it out, he thought. There was no easy way to admit his master was falling into darkness. Falling? Fallen? "Lucy did this."
"Lucy?" Natsu spat out. "No."
Loke winced as a particularly strong wave of pain crashed over him. "It's true."
"Why?" he asked incredulously. And not only why, but, "How?"
"She's not herself."
Natsu gave pause and met Loke's eyes in the late night dark. His heart hammered as the spirit echoed his earlier thoughts. "I know," he said finally. "But why...?" Lucy loved her spirits, every single one of them, even pervy Taurus. Why would she attack Loke when they had such a strong bond?
Loke let out a shaky breath. "Days ago when the sky was bleeding," Natsu, remembering all too well the scarlet sky, listened more sharply. "I told you she made a deal," Loke continued. "A deal to save you all from Shadow Father."
He'd forgotten with everything else… The air seemed thin. "What kind of deal?"
Loke said in a rush, "A bargain for the power to destroy the demon that her mother Layla could not."
"No," he said again, as if the denial carried any kind of weight. "She said Zeref had killed the demon."
Loke looked at him straight-faced.
"Lucy lied to me?" That shouldn't have hurt as much as it did. "Wait." He pieced together Loke's words, "She killed it?"
"Yes. And that's not the only thing she's lied about," the lion said. "She's been—"
Natsu never got to learn what Lucy had been doing. An oppressive magic filled the air, thoroughly grinding their conversation to a halt.
"Shit," Loke cursed.
His smell hit the dragon slayer, familiar and choking and startling. Where Lucy had hurt his chest earlier burned. Clutching the place, he gasped and breathed through his mouth, scouring the gloom for the dark wizard. Suddenly, all of the shadows were alive and writhing. Zeref was everywhere and nowhere at all.
Loke's light magic flooded the night, not nearly as bright as he planned. It was hard to draw any magic, injured as he was, and the need to wring out vast quantities to defend against Zeref had him overexerting himself. He ground his teeth together and fought off a wave of dizziness as he readied for the attack that was surely coming.
Natsu followed suit, calling fire to his hands, not imagining that Zeref was there just to say hello. "What's Zeref doing here?" The black wizard was angry, his mood a palpable thing that swelled through the empty streets and made Natsu's skin crawl. Feeling all that power, terror moved through his body. He considered adding Zeref to the list of things he feared, but he refused to be cowed by a single man. Demon king, his mind corrected unhelpfully. Shut up and focus. It was difficult to narrow in on Zeref's location. His scent filled the whole street, his shadows wriggled in every corner. Somewhere someone screamed. The sound cut off prematurely.
"Keep your guard up," Loke urged in a strained voice.
Natsu grunted a reply and turned his back to the lion. "Are you good enough to fight?" Am I, he questioned himself; it was hard to stand, alcohol tripping him up. Fear made it possible, though.
Loke was silent for a beat too long.
"Loke?"
"Just watch your own skin," Loke bit out. "I'll be fine."
Natsu loosed a noisy breath from his nose and clenched his fist. Fire blind, he couldn't see a damn thing beyond the circle of his magic. The moon, bright a second ago, hid its face behind the clouds as if frightened by what came next.
A whine saturated the atmosphere, making Natsu's arm hair stand on end. Coldness swept through the streets next, extinguishing his fire with a breath of artic air. His hands numbed. Something knocked into his shoulder hard and then suddenly he was staring at the midnight sky. His breath exploded out of his lungs and he could do nothing but gasp like a land-stranded fish there on his back. His vision blurred and his body chilled as an army of shadows rolled over him on a purposeful hunt. They were never ending. Loke screamed, torn off his feet as well and dragged several feet away.
Don't just lay there. Fire erupted from his body in spurts, suffocated, then reignited in a bout of frustration. Enough shadows were scared away that he was able to scramble to his knees and turn towards the lion spirit, flames in hand. Loke was buried under an impenetrable wall of black. Natsu threw fire haphazardly, not really caring if it burned Loke or not. A few singed hairs were surely better than whatever was happening beneath that writhing wall.
On impact, one of the living ink blots screamed and whipped around, rushing at Natsu faster than it had any right to. Colliding hard, Natsu was forced off his feet. He smacked against the ground, head whipping back, and again stared at the cloud-speckled sky for too long. Distantly, he heard Loke holler, and saw a weak wave of light.
Get the fuck up and help him. More fire spurted to life, pushing back the darkness. He clambered to his feet, head spinning, and found Loke cocooned in an irritated mass that smelled so much like Zeref, it was overwhelming.
Another wave of fire sang over his skin as he struggled to Loke's side.
'Stay down, brother,' one shadow snipped out on the way by and pushed him roughly. Natsu tottered, then met the ground again, unable to keep himself up under the jostling wave. He got to his knees stubbornly.
'Down.' A shadow pierced through his shoulder, turning it completely numb. Looking down he expected to see blood, but it was dry. Just frozen. Another pierced through his middle, bringing with it pain. Howling like an animal, he forced fire to break over his whole body. It danced off the façade of buildings, it illuminated the ground, but it wouldn't touch the ball that encircled Leo the Lion.
All at once the shadows spoke in eerie unison, their voices quiet like they whispered secrets. 'That's for thinking about her.'
Loke yelled.
'That's for touching her.'
He screamed again.
"Loke!" Natsu scrambled across the ground on hands and knees, finding the edge of the shadows and pushing his way through. It was harder than he thought; they were way more corporeal than they should have been, and every time he touched them, his skin ached. He was a bull, though, determined. He slipped through an opening and came into a shadow-made dome. Inside was illuminated by Natsu's fire and the weak light that seeped from the spirit. Loke was strung up, levitated by his arms and legs and held in place by the living darkness.
'That's for thinking you could be just like her.' A tendril stabbed through his middle, beside where Lucy had gotten him just moments before. Loke tried to double over but couldn't. Natsu surged forward to help, fire burning a hole through the black, but tendrils wrapped around his hands and legs, and forced him to the ground. The fall down was long and hard without being able to catch himself.
'That's for enjoying it,' the shadows continued, oblivious to the interruption.
Darkness consolidated and became humanoid. Zeref looked out at the spirit with eyes burning with hatred.
'And this is for kissing her.'
Magic swelled and reached an unbearable crescendo. Loke's fingers twitched uselessly at his side. He could do nothing but meet Zeref's wrath head on. He had no defense, not enough magic to go back to the spirit world, not enough magic to fight back. He would be destroyed in the physical realm, forced to pull himself back together bit by bit in the celestial world, and he didn't know how long that would take. He felt something hot and familiar tugging at his spirit, something warm and compassionate, something he hadn't felt in days and knew his gate was being forced closed without his consent. Somehow, Lucy knew what was happening and was pushing him back through before too much harm could come to him. He didn't have time to thank her because she was a beat too slow. Blackness lanced from Zeref into his chest and all he saw was blinding white.
Natsu cussed and yelled and fought out of the shadow's grip. He only made it to his knees again when Zeref wheeled on him, fingers in a tight fist, and punched him squarely in the jaw. The dragon slayer saw black.
Lucy shook violently. Though only days had passed, it was difficult to grasp the magic she once used; it felt nearly lost to her. One thing remained strong, though: her connection with Loke. Through it, she felt Zeref's rage—wasn't that something to behold?—and Loke's pain.
She scrabbled to force his gate closed with all her might before Zeref could really hurt him. And it was working. Until the demon king realized what she was doing and ended the torture there, breaking Loke into small pieces and banishing him back from whence he came. As though it were her that were actually in the line of fire, Lucy felt everything. The cold in her chest, Loke's fear, the strange dispersal of his body. And then nothing, except the key in her hand burning through her skin. She dropped it and watched it brand the floor.
Looking at it, she laughed manically. Then she screamed in frustration, grabbed the nearest thing to her hand—her lamp—and threw it against the wall. It crashed; the lightbulb broke into a thousand tiny pieces. It still wasn't enough. She moved on to her dresser, sending flying hair spray and makeup and hairbrushes.
The shadows in the darkest corner of her bedroom began to thrash excitedly. Lucy stopped wrecking all of her things and turned her anger to a more appropriate place.
When Zeref stepped out of that pulsing mass, Lucy stalked over to him, hands clenched into tight fists, and swung unthinkingly. Zeref caught her fist like he'd been expecting the attack, fingers biting into her bones. He held her there.
"Don't." In that one word was so much anger.
Instead of balking, she swung again with her free hand. He caught that too and held her with hands like iron manacles.
Lucy kicked him hard in the shin. Zeref showed her his teeth and commanded his shadows to wrap her up tight, one sliding around her throat, three more around her legs, rooting her in place.
"You had no right," Lucy spat when she could attack no more.
Zeref peered back at her with midnight eyes, colder than ever. "This has gone on too long. I should kill you."
There was no fear in her eyes, only obstinacy, and didn't he admire her for that? Just do it. Stop praising her. Stop talking about it and do it. His hands remained still, the shadows around her throat tight, but not choking.
When Lucy's anger tried to be replaced by something else, she thought, remember Loke. Loke, who was guilty of no crime other than trying to be her friend. Loke, who loved her, Loke, who she had wanted to kiss because she was selfish and couldn't seem to help herself. Loke, who she wanted to be just like her. Gods. Her guilt and fear was already fading. If only he hadn't disappeared. What would have happened if she was allowed to force Zeref's magic through him?
"Stop thinking of him!" Zeref hissed, reading her thoughts clearly.
She still squirmed, heart beating erratically, Loke's face in her mind's eye, his skin alive with blackness, his hands on her body—
"I said stop." Zeref squeezed her wrists until it hurt, setting her skin to roiling.
His voice cracked through her. Lucy swallowed hard. Self-righteous anger fell to the wayside, Loke temporarily forgotten, replaced by Zeref. Always Zeref. "I'm sorry."
His eyes flashed dangerously. "You're not," he said. "Not yet."
No, she wasn't really. Squirming against her bonds, she longed to be closer to the dark wizard. "Give me something else to think about then." If her hands were free she'd be reaching for him.
Without being asked, Zeref obeyed Lucy's unescapable gravity, bringing his face within inches of hers. She still smelled like Natsu. He didn't know how he felt about the revelation; his knuckles still smarted where they'd met his brother's jaw. He wasn't very sorry for that either. This close, looking into Lucy's dark eyes, he wasn't entirely sure if he was going to kill her where she stood for the crime of driving him insane, or if he wanted to show her all the ways that she should be his.
"How could you?" The words were out of his mouth before he could think better of them, before he could decide what they meant.
"How could I what?"
"How could you kiss him?" He wanted to cut his fool tongue out of his head for speaking, but there was no sense, the words were already out.
Lucy's anger came roaring back. "How could I? How could you do that to him? Loke is mine." She felt so possessive of him, even after he tried to bring everything down around her. And what of Natsu? Did he find him? That was a question better left for later.
"You're a greedy, evil girl, Lucy Heartfilia. First Natsu Dragneel, then Leo the Lion, and now—" He trailed off.
Lucy saw a hint of uncertainty in his eye and knew what he wanted to hear. "And now you." Zeref, the darkest, most intriguing wizard in the world, was insecure. A small part of her wanted to dig the knife in deeper just to see him suffer; a small part of her wanted to reassure him.
She waited for him to relax, yet her words didn't satiate his anger like they did Natsu's.
Zeref's brows knitted together, his mouth went flat. "You're supposed to be—" Mine? Is that what you're going to say? He could hardly decide if he was going to allow her to draw breath one minute to the next, so how could she be his?
Lucy looked at him incredulously, piecing together what he was going to say. "If you want me, then stop ignoring me. It's that easy." Nothing was ever that easy, but again, she strived to say the right things. Anything to make him stay.
Zeref gave her a torn and tormented look. "You're a siren. A witch."
"I am what you made me to be."
He shook his head furiously. "I never wanted this." No? You didn't want a girl all of your own? You didn't want to mould a demon that could stand to be near you? You didn't want it to be exactly this girl after you kissed her?
Yes. Yes. Yes. He could tear out his hair and scrape the skin off his back and punish himself again and again, but it still wouldn't push Lucy from his mind.
I want her. All for his own.
You made a promise to Layla… That was true, though it had never mattered less. He knew in his heart that he didn't want Lucy to get better, not really. He liked her just as she was.
"I can tell it's been hard on you too." Lucy worked her hand free of his hold and touched his cheek. His skin was smooth. "So why have you been ignoring me and attacking my spirit?"
Where is your anger? It was still there, simmering away. He wrapped it around himself like a shield. "The lion got less than he deserved. He'll be fine shortly while you made a fool out of—"
"He didn't—" do anything, she had been about to say but the shadow cradling her throat migrated south and her arms were suddenly wrenched above her head, her body forced against the wall. Next her ankles snapped together, pinned in place. A surprised, 'oof,' gushed from her lungs along with all her air.
Zeref was happy to see the shock in her eye. Feeling in control again he said, "He kissed you."
Lucy recovered. "And Natsu did worse." She took great pleasure saying that.
Natsu. Yes. He was mad about that, too. But Natsu could be forgiven, in time. Zeref had taken more than enough from his little brother to make this concession.
"I knew you were watching," Lucy said when she saw his face smooth. "I knew you liked it."
Zeref went right back to scowling. "Shut up."
Her chest heaved. Her smile widened. "What was your favorite part?"
When she was touching herself, or when she climbed right on his lap and took what she wanted? Too clearly he could see her bare breasts bouncing, he could hear her frenzied breath.
Zeref lifted his eyes to take her in and got harder than stone. She was feverish, desperate. Feeling his gaze, she bowed her back and her tank top pulled up to sit just under her breasts. The exposed skin of her belly looked pale and smooth. Before he could think better of it, Zeref let one of his shadows rove up her middle just to see her chest heave again. He wasn't disappointed by the breathy gasp that slipped between her lips. Just at her nipple, he pulled back then crossed his arms over his chest to keep from touching her further.
Lucy whimpered then begged, "Tell me."
"I said, shut up." Imagining her shaking and moaning by his own hands made his body throb, but watching her being ravished by someone else... Confused, he growled and said, "The last time we spoke, Lucy, you told me I was all you thought about."
She swallowed. "Yes."
Zeref ploughed on ahead, hating himself all the while but unable to stop the flow of words. "And I say, if that's so, then why am I sharing?"
He'd do it again in a heartbeat, not that he'd tell her that when she was trembling and looking just a little morose for the first time in days. She had more than enough control over him.
"You wouldn't answer me."
"So you rush to anyone that will have you?" The words were supposed to come out scathing and self-righteous, but they sounded pathetic even to his own ears.
Lucy was as sharp as a predator, sensing his weakness. "Are you jealous?" There was a small smile on her mouth, pleased by the thought.
Zeref considered her words. Jealous? Absolutely not. "I have everything I want at my fingertips every second of every day, Lucy, all I have to do is take. Why would I be jealous?"
She grinned again, seeing inside of him for an instant. "Because you've never had this."
Zeref's expression twisted and she wondered if she had gone too far, if he was going to kill her right then and there and leave her strapped up for her friends to find days from now. The potential danger made her skin crawl not entirely unpleasantly.
She continued. "You don't have to be jealous. You could just stop ignoring me."
Zeref bit his tongue hard. It could be that easy.
No.
"I stayed away because I thought maybe you would climb out of this miserable existence." He said the words, but only imagined her spiraling downwards, becoming just like him, full of the knowledge that he didn't want to be alone any more.
Lucy seemed to relax. "Is it easier if I tell you that I can't? Because I want to belong to you."
Those words… Zeref clenched his fingers, leaving half-moon crescents in his palms. "I—I made a promise."
"And you tried to uphold it," Lucy noted. "But I don't want you to stay away."
It really is that easy. And yet… "The others… Natsu and Loke—"
"You are jealous." She laughed. Zeref, the demon king…
Zeref scowled and tightened his grip on the shadows that held her until her smile faded and was replaced with a look of pain-tainted-pleasure. "You think this is funny?"
"Funny? No. Sweet."
Sweet. He hadn't been accused of that in…
Gods. He couldn't remember. He considered slitting her throat right there. That would certainly quiet her, but the image it drew up didn't please him as he thought it would. If she was dead how could he take out his frustration on her?
Lucy fidgeted, loving that he was so angry. She could feel it rolling off of him and coaxing the magic between them into a twisted flurry. She continued to antagonize him. "What bothered you, Natsu, or me changing Loke?"
"Neither."
"Liar."
"You're not supposed to be like this!" Zeref finally raged, pushed to the brink.
Lucy rolled her head back and closed her eyes, sensing they were coming to the root of things. "Why not?"
"You were pure." Of course he wanted her to be as wretched as they came, he wanted her to be just like him, but the world never gave him what he wanted. Zeref, the demon king, the man who dared to break the most fundamental laws of magic, was denied at every turn. It was just the way of things. He was meant to wander the earth with this curse as his penance until his little brother discovered the monster inside and finally put him out of his misery. In short, there were rules. Rules were good, rules were perfect, that way, there was never any surprise. It had been that way for centuries. Except now. Lucy was breaking down every norm he ever had without effort.
He watched the girl struggle against her bonds, chest heaving, skin slicking with excited sweat, and decided that perhaps the world was punishing him more than he originally thought. Lucy Heartfilia had done nothing but make him miserable since the day he answered her call. He should have ignored her, he should have left the world to rot and suffer.
And why didn't you?
Because if Shadow Father were to end the world, there would be nothing left for Zeref once he was through, no power to put him out of his immortal misery. Natsu would be dead while he lived on and on, with only a wretched demon for company.
His motives were selfish right to the end.
He finished by saying, "You're not supposed to be just like me." Wasn't she meant for better things?
"You want me like this."
Zeref knew she was right, but it didn't make him less agitated. "Shut up."
Lucy ignored him. "I won't. Do you not want to see me like this because you're ashamed to see yourself reflected in what I've become?"
This new Lucy knew how to cut right to the bone. "I said be quiet."
"And I said no."
Zeref came in close, black magic pooled in his palm. "I can make you."
She stared at him obdurately. "Maybe you can, but you won't."
Sucking on a tooth, he considered calling her bluff. Then Lucy stretched forward as much as her living chains would allow and kissed him. It was slow, agonizing and sweet, full of want and promise. He kissed her back without even meaning to; she was difficult to ignore when they were so far apart, but here with her before him, so obviously full of want, she was impossible to turn away from.
She pulled back, her eyes still closed, and said, "I like being just like you." Her cheeks were rosy with need. "Don't ignore me anymore."
Zeref swallowed and felt his resolve wavering. "…Maybe I want you to belong to me." Admitting that was like peeling back his skin.
"I already do," she said soothingly. More than she could ever belong to anyone else.
"Only me. Natsu, Loke—"
Lucy fidgeted again, darkness roving over her skin. "You don't have to be jealous. You can give me what they can't."
He was hungry to find out exactly what she meant. "What's that?"
"I can't be as cruel to them as I want to be with you."
Her words made him hard. Maybe he could give her something that no one else could. Maybe this is okay. Wanting her could be okay. Taking her… It's exactly the kind of thing the world would expect from someone like you. Stop pretending to be better than you are.
Zeref licked his lips and drew nearer despite himself. "Your heart is black."
"The same colour as yours," Lucy told him evenly. His mouth hovered inches above hers. She struggled against the bonds that held her tightly to the wall, trying to get closer. "Let me down."
Zeref smirked and flicked his tongue over her lips. "I don't think so."
Lucy's chest tightened with exhilaration. "Please…"
His voice dropped and got smoky. "Why would I do that when you're just where I want you to be?"
Ugh. This chapter had a lot of problems for me to fix. Sorry it took so damn long. When I first wrote it, there was like… no talking.
Anyway, I'm sure there are still mistakes. Sorry.
Okay, buh bye!