It was always strange falling into the celestial world, but more so now, because while she'd never truly belonged, she absolutely didn't anymore. She could feel it in her bones; it made her skin itch and burn, the strange magic that allowed it to exist. Nothing made her feel better, not the magic garments, not breathing carefully, not clutching to Virgo like she was a lifeline, stealing so much of her magic to fortify herself that the spirit went pale. Lucy didn't let up, though, that was just the kind of girl she was now.

The world twisted, the blues and purples of iridescent starlight whizzing past them until Virgo came to an abrupt halt on a fiery orange planetoid. It had no soil, but its surface was as hard as diamonds. It was completely devoid of absolutely everything, no other spirits, no buildings, just a blank world.

"You want to go straight to big brother, Princess?" Virgo asked in a tight voice.

"Yes." Lucy squeezed the word out; it was difficult to breathe here in this too-pure realm.

Virgo obliged. A hole full of bright light opened in the ground and they started to freefall through the planet. It was a strange, tumbling ride, with first colours rushing by and then darkness. As she fell, she wondered where Loke lived; she had never bothered to find out before. She wasn't a very good master, was she? Even before Zeref had polluted her. Why hadn't she bothered to find out more about her spirits?

Their fall slowed, the darkness faded, and then suddenly Lucy's feet were touching solid ground once more. She blinked into her new surroundings. It seemed to be the same planet as before, like they'd just fallen through its core, only now it was copper orange, not fire red, the colour dulled by the veiny blackness that had overtaken the landscape. They were everywhere, dark tendrils that felt like Zeref's magic, changing Loke to be just like her. Lucy looked at it in awe, she didn't expect to find a piece of Zeref here in such an untarnished world, but she thought that it made an odd sort of sense, he followed her everywhere, he touched everything.

In some places the landscape wasn't barren. A forest protruded from the seemingly inhabitable ground, the trees reaching skywards to choke out the light of the stars. Some were vibrant and full of life still, but most were desiccated and dead, branches barren and rotting. Pine needles crunched under her foot, filling the air with a sharp, clean, northern smell, but even so, even through that fresh crispness breathed a blackening soul.

"It's not just his home," Virgo whispered when she saw Lucy looking, as if speaking loudly would break some spell. "Big brother is just like this too."

Lucy swallowed. Her heart thundered excitedly, wickedly; she relished the tainting of this pure thing; what had she become, to want such destruction? Why didn't Zeref tell her she would be like this, hungry for the demolition of anything ingenuous?

She felt Loke in the midst of all that throbbing impurity. He struggled violently, perhaps trying to cleanse himself of the damage Zeref had done, perhaps struggling to find the true lion spirit amongst the hollow bones the magic left behind. Perhaps he was struggling to fall a little harder. Either way he was vulnerable. Lucy's breath caught excitedly.

"Princess—" Virgo began, sensing a change in Lucy.

"Leave," she snapped.

"But—"

"Now." Lucy walked forward over the orange needles, not quite sure where she was going but knowing that if she followed a thread of shadow it would lead her to her spirit. She didn't check behind her to make sure that Virgo had obeyed, only reached out a pulsing tendril and followed it to Loke's home.

Her apartment was startlingly empty. Natsu looked around it with a blank expression on his face. Gray came to stand at his side, arms crossed over his chest.

"What happened here?" It looked as though someone had torn her room apart. Natsu knew some of it was from he and Lucy—her bed was rumpled, her clothing strewn across the floor; but something was different, too. He smelled her, as heady and inviting as ever, maybe even more so now that he knew exactly what she tasted like, but there was another's smell here as well, one that made his hackles raise and his fingers clench tightly. One that made him scared.

Zeref had been there. He knew it—but it was one thing to know, and another to know. His scent was everywhere. Natsu choked back his panic. What did the dark mage want with Lucy, and where was she now?

"What is it?" Gray demanded.

Natsu couldn't stop the flames from licking up his fist and singing his clothing. "Zeref was here," he admitted reluctantly. It was childish, but he thought that if he didn't say the words aloud that they wouldn't be true.

"I just don't get it. Why would Zeref—"

"I don't know," Natsu cut him off before he could finish. "If I did I wouldn't just be standing here, would I?" No, he would be with Lucy. If he knew Zeref was after her, he wouldn't have left her, despite everything. You should have stayed. But he couldn't think around her, he didn't know who he was when she was nearby, he couldn't control a horrific little part of his soul that responded to her every breath. He just needed some space.

Gods he hated her.

And loved her. (Love?)

And hated her. (Yes.)

Focus.

"Can't you smell them out or something?" Gray asked. His eyes were narrowed, his face full of agitation and anxiety.

Natsu lifted his nose to do as the mage suggested. The apartment was a mess of smells, execrable enjoyment, pheromones enough to make him dizzy, dark magic, sweat, skin. Lucy. He felt himself falling inexcusably towards her even when she wasn't there. He took in a steadying breath but it didn't help.

"I can't," he sputtered finally. His skin was slicked in sweat, his face bloodless.

Gray looked at him with concern. "If Lucy's missing—"

"Princess isn't missing," said a voice at their back.

Both Natsu and Gray whirled and looked at a tight-lipped and dark-veined Virgo. Neither had noticed her, Natsu because he was too caught up in Lucy, Gray because he was too busy wondering what the fuck?

"Virgo! Where is she?" Natsu spat out when he found his voice, desperately thankful for the distraction from Lucy's alluring scent.

"She's in the celestial realm with Loke," she explained.

"She's safe?" A knot of tension was trying to come loose in his chest.

"Yes," Virgo said and Natsu almost laughed with manic relief. But not yet.

Loke. "Is Loke alright?"

"He's…" she trailed off. "He will be better," she finished finally.

"What's going on?" Gray asked, frustration bleeding through his voice.

Virgo shrugged. "I only know that Loke is angry with her. And different. Both of them."

Natsu opened his mouth to ask more questions but Virgo said, "I've used a lot of my own power coming here, and Princess took quite a bit, too, I just didn't want you to worry about her. She's safe in the celestial world."

"Take me to her," Natsu ordered.

"I cannot. I will tell her you're looking for her." She started to fade.

"Virgo!" Natsu surged forward, grasping for the spirit, but she was already gone.

"What the fuck?" Natsu raged and kicked a bottle of perfume across the floor. It hit the wall hard enough that it broke. "What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

"Wait?" Gray suggested.

Natsu grumbled.

"We should go to the guild, tell Gramps…"

Natsu didn't want to leave. Is it her smell, or you want to be here when she gets back? On the other hand, he felt so irritated, he needed to move. "Fine, but we're coming back here."

Loke had a high-rise apartment—or at least, that's how he made his environment look. The building was tall, white washed sandstone, with double doors inlaid with dark tainted glass. Days ago it might have looked pristine, but now the gardens out front were dead or dying, the building was oozing blackness through the bricks, and the windows in some places were cracked.

She didn't bother walking through the doors and up the stairs or taking the elevator or any such benign non-magical routes. She commanded Zeref's magic to lift her skywards. Her hand touched the building and it warbled. It was some kind of illusion, then. Even still, she followed the pull towards her spirit, up, up, up, until the magical thread pulled taut. She breathed a sigh of relief and pushed against the wall of the building. It gave under her hand like rippling water and she slipped through the seemingly solid wall and into Loke's home.

The inside was white, white floors, white ceiling, white walls, and black, black doors, black window sills, black couches and tables and chairs. She had no trouble finding Loke in all that monochromaticness. His hair was the only wash of colour, looking almost vermillion in contrast. His skin was like Virgo's had been, a spider's web of black lines. One bisected his eye, turning the hazel to onyx just like hers.

From his position on the couch, he met her gaze steadily. Somehow he looked angry, hungry, and lost. For a moment she felt pity for him, but the pity was swallowed whole, chewed up and mutilated by whatever evil breathed in her. Lucy took him in. He slouched on his couch, suit jacket thrown aside on the floor, white dress shirt torn open so the skin beneath was exposed. He looked disordered, confused, irate and surprised. Fantastic.

"What are you doing here?" Loke asked in a strangled voice.

"I wanted—I wanted to see how you were," Lucy replied. She didn't like the way her voice cracked as if she were a weak and brittle thing. She rubbed her hands over her arms. The celestial world always felt too loud for humans, but now the place was positively screaming with intense magic.

"How can you stand to be here?" She looked around the open room.

"I have to be here," he replied in a tight voice. "This is where I belong." Belonged, he corrected himself. Now he wasn't so sure. Loke forced himself to stand.

His shirt fell open and Lucy was able to see a dark patch of skin that stretched under his ribs and disappeared around his back. She held his gaze as he stalked towards her, looking like the dangerous cat he was named for. He stopped only inches away. Lucy swallowed and breathed shallowly to keep herself calm when she wanted to thrust a little more shadow inside his skin and see what would happen, see exactly how much it would take to break him, if he would break. He wasn't like her, he wasn't human, he didn't have to worry about his physical body giving out on him because he always had this place to come back to, this place to rebuild himself. Her fingers itched with the need.

Loke scowled, as if sensing her thoughts. "Are you here to tear me apart a little more? Finish what Zeref started?" It was a challenge and a plea. He wanted her to. Her legs shook with the realization.

"I—I didn't know what he would do," Lucy said finally. "I didn't…"

"You didn't imagine the darkest mage to ever live would be pissed when you started fucking around with him?" Loke lashed out. "What were you thinking?" That black patch stretched a little more. Lucy wanted to touch it and coax it out. Stop it, she scolded herself.

She cleared her throat. "I came to ask if you found him."

"Natsu?" Loke asked. "Yeah, I did." He wished he could say it more triumphantly.

Fuck. Lucy ground her teeth together. "You told him? About Zeref and me?"

Loke only scowled.

"Loke, answer me," Lucy commanded.

"I told him enough," he replied, unable to disobey her but not feeling particularly helpful.

The bottom dropped out of Lucy's stomach. "He knows?"

"He knows that you're a liar."

What he didn't say said more than what he did. "What did you tell him?"

"Go away, Lucy." He wanted her tormented like he was, but soon he was going to spill everything.

"Loke…"

He looked away from her so Lucy touched his cheek, bringing his face back. He came easier than she'd imagined. "What did you say?" She asked it carefully. "Tell me."

"…I told him you made a deal to destroy Shadow Father." He hated himself for speaking but kept on going. "I told him you did this." He showed his side. "And then Zeref showed up."

Natsu was dense sometimes, but he wasn't stupid. He could put things together. Lucy scowled, irate. "You deserved what Zeref gave you. You should have minded your own business." It was the cruelest thing she'd ever said, and as it came out, only a small piece of her regretted it.

"Say what you want, but what kind of spirit would I be if I let you keep this up?" His voice wasn't nearly as cutting as he'd planned. In fact, he was losing steam rather quickly. "You're falling apart." It's me, he corrected himself, I'm falling to pieces. He hadn't been able to expel both Lucy and Zeref from his body, though he had tried for hours and hours.

Maybe you didn't try that hard. No. Not that hard at all, sending away Virgo and declining her offer to help as he did, refusing to see the other spirits because he… wanted this all for himself. Don't think like that, but dark fingers were roving through his body, feeding upon and extinguishing small pockets of purity as they went, finding home in his skin with every breath and he loved it. Soon Leo the Lion would be Leo the Shade, the new Lucy Heartfilia's willing instrument to do with as she wanted.

"I can't stop, Loke, and I don't want to." Frustrated tears pricked at her eyes. "I want it all, Natsu and Zeref and this power." It was so unbearably addicting.

Loke took her in, eyes tear-bright, hair wild, skin pale and cold and soft. You're not a good spirit, he thought when he realized he loved her like this. What happened to saving her? But Lucy Heartfilia didn't want to be saved, and neither did he. His mouth moved on its own accord. "And me?" His voice was unsteady.

"You?"

Loke bit his cheek until it hurt, arguing with himself until finally, "Why did you kiss me, Lucy?" bubbled from his throat. "Why did you try to protect me from him?" Even after she had attacked him. It was perverse, he knew, but if he tried he could almost forget about her magic digging into and ripping apart his body. And when he couldn't fully bury the memory, he found he enjoyed it.

Lucy gnawed on her lip and twisted her fingers through the hem of her skirt. Loke tried to ignore the way it lifted and exposed a pale slice of skin high up on her thigh. His fingers twitched, his mouth curved downwards.

"I…"

"Well?" he asked, voice low and raspy.

Gods. What was wrong with her? She pulled tighter at her skirt, desperate to centre herself. "Loke… I—I wanted…" Too much. She wanted everything.

He was absolutely too close to her now. "You wanted?" Say it, say it, say it.

Somehow he had backed her up against his dark wood table. It was solid under her hands in a way that the outside building had not been. What was real and what was fake in the celestial world? Loke touched a hand to her hip and she knew he was very, very real.

She held her breath and wondered. Zeref had said he wouldn't touch her spirits again, but did he mean it?

"Well?" Loke came in close. Lucy thought he was going to kiss her right then and there, but his hands found their way into her hair and he pressed his nose to the cavity under her earlobe. There he breathed her in, the girl he once knew and the girl she had become. Lucy's hands somehow made their way to his shoulders. Her fingers squeezed through the thin fabric of his shirt. His skin felt warm and solid underneath those clothes, strange and all the more alluring because she knew she should stay away.

"Lucy…" Loke breathed her name against her neck, his hot breath raising goose bumps over her skin and making her squirm.

He was still waiting for an answer. Her fingers slipped up his neck and into his auburn hair. Into his ear she whispered, "I wanted you to be ruined just like me." Sliding her cheek against his, she found his mouth and kissed him.

Loke let out a surprised gasp, at first stiffening because it hurt, then he relaxed into her. His hands wrapped around her waist and pressed in to her lower back, drawing her closer.

Zeref isn't going to be happy with me, she thought, feeling the dark mage on her periphery. That was okay, she knew even though he protested, he liked it, too.

I forgot how little story and how much smut was in this. Just a smutfest.

My other stories have a little more of a storyline (though still a healthy dose of this stuff). Check those out if you haven't already. Maybe you'll find something you like.