When she woke, Lucy's skin was slicked in sweat and her body tingled. Blinking her eyes clear, she realized that there was something cold and hard in her hand. Lifting it high, she looked at Loke's celestial key. Only… it wasn't as she remembered. The metal had turned black, the white and red at its peak replaced by a jet stone, darker than any moonless night.
"Oh." Looking at it gave her chills. Sitting up, she brandished the key as she normally would and reached for the polluted magic that connected her to her spirits. It wasn't there, but she could feel Loke on the fringe, wanting to come out. Smiling, she opened up that doorway for him as best as she knew how. No words were spoken, but they shared a deeper bond now. Loke appeared, born from the deepest shadows in the darkest corner. He stepped out as graceful as ever, and looked upon Lucy with dark eyes. The skin at his neck was still threaded with black veins. Lucy liked looking at them, they reminded her of Zeref.
"You're alright."
"You lied. You didn't know if it would work," Loke replied.
Lucy grinned. "I thought it would."
He looked annoyed for a moment. It passed.
"You were banished."
"I know."
"Are you sad?"
Loke was truthful. "Not yet." Maybe never.
Lucy reached for him. "This is better, Loke." He should be like her.
He didn't hesitate to grab her hand. On contact, magic spread between them, making him giddy and dull. "Yes."
Lucy pulled him down so he was kneeling knee-to-knee with her. "So if you're banished from the celestial realm, where did you go?" She identified that strange feeling in her stomach; it was worry. She hadn't felt anything like this for days—at least, nothing so selfless.
He touched her hesitantly, finding her cheek and pushing back her hair, moving like he expected her to scold him but just couldn't help himself. "I don't know," he said finally. "Nowhere I've ever been. It… felt like the celestial realm but not. And it was dark."
Lucy leaned her forehead against his. "You were alone?"
"I don't know."
"I didn't think you'd be pushed out like that. Were you scared?" Maybe she was a bad master.
"At first. And then I knew I belonged there. I could feel it."
His answer almost disappointed her. "The only place you belong is here with me." She kissed him and tasted Zeref on his mouth.
The air shimmered over Loke's shoulder and Virgo appeared. The maid was just as tainted black as the last time Lucy saw her. She twitched and clutched her elbows and breathed too frantically. She'd used up a lot of her power and the drain of magical energy was making it difficult for her to balance the darkness and the light of the celestial realm.
"Princess—"
Lucy leaned away from Loke despite his muffled protest and regarded Virgo. "What are you doing here?"
"I—I wanted to tell you—Mister Natsu—he was looking for you."
Hearing Natsu's name was like being scalded. She stiffened, holding Loke's hand tighter. "He was?" Stay away from Natsu. She didn't want to.
"While you were in the spirit realm he came here with Gray Fullbuster and…" Virgo twitched again. "He wanted me to take him to you. I could not." She looked ashamed at the last.
"Where did he go?" The words were out before she could stop them. Zeref… he'll be angry. On the other hand, maybe she was a little angry with him, too, telling her to stay away from him until she went to this stupid town. And for what? What great purpose would that serve? She knew she'd do as he asked and go to Piper's Hold, but did she have to obey his every command?
Yes, she thought because she wanted to make him happy, no, she thought, because Natsu was…
He was...
Hers.
Virgo perked up; this at least was something she could offer assistance with. "As I was leaving, I heard he and Gray say they were going to go back to Fairy Tail and tell Master Makarov about the demon king."
The idea of anyone talking about Zeref made Lucy angry. The need to keep him to herself and keep him safe was overwhelming. "When did they leave?"
Virgo shrugged. "Time passes differently in the celestial realm."
Of course.
Lucy dropped Loke's hand and stood.
"Where are you going?" Loke asked.
"To see Natsu, I suppose." As justification for her greedy and self-serving actions, she told herself that she wasn't going simply because she wanted to see Natsu, but because she didn't want everyone at Fairy Tail ruining everything. And it was true enough. Makarov would never just let the attack in the streets pass in silence, he'd want to retaliate, and if that happened, Zeref would destroy them. And where would you be while that happened? Standing by his side. She didn't want to have to, though. …Right? She couldn't say, not for sure. Who are you, Lucy Heartfilia?
Loke stood with her and grabbed her hand. "I'll take you."
She smiled. "You are a good spirit, Loke."
Praised and feeling proud, Loke dissolved into shadow, bringing Lucy with him. She closed her eyes and let it happen.
"What the hell are we dragging our feet for?" Gray demanded from the opposite side of one of Fairy Tail's booths. "I mean, I got it at first, Master wasn't here, but he's been back for ten minutes, Natsu, come on."
Natsu snorted hot air from his nose and tried to find a way to explain it to Gray. How could he, though, when he didn't understand himself? "I know. I just wanted to give him a few minutes to chill out, alright?"
Gray knew he was lying. "Bullshit. What is it really?"
The need to protect Lucy. Denial. Fear. Want. He felt like his mouth was stapled shut. "We just don't know everything yet."
Gray's eyes widened. "Did you get brain damaged? When the fuck have you ever cared about that?"
"Shut up. I just don't even know what to say. Zeref was in Magnolia, Zeref was in Lucy's apartment. What's the old man going to say? 'Keep an eye out for him, my boy?'" His Makarov impression was so awful, Gray nearly laughed.
Reality was sobering though. "Look, man, if he was knocking on Lucy's door, you know it wasn't for anything good."
His words made Natsu's guts twist. He didn't want to think about it. Absolutely none of it. What if…
He dismissed the idea before it could put down a taproot.
"Yeah."
"So, let's go tell Master."
"Yeah." He knew Gray was right. "Just, let me take a piss first."
Gray dropped his head dramatically to the table. "Hurry the fuck up, stop procrastinating."
Natsu didn't respond.
He wasn't lying, not entirely, he did actually have to piss. Going to the urinal, he did what he needed to do, then he washed his hands. That finished, he planted his palms on the small sink and looked at his reflection. The man staring back looked as though he could sleep for two days straight and not be totally rested. It's Lucy fucking you up. Always Lucy. Just tell Master what happened, then you can (her body writhed over his, her fingers dug into his ribs) help her.
Yes. Master would help her get better. With his memories circling, it was hard to convince himself that she needed that.
Coming out of the washroom, he stepped foot into Fairy Tail and felt the air dampen. No one else seemed to sense it. Gray was exactly where he left him, his face pressed into the wooden table, Mira manned the bar, Cana drank a barrel-sized beer, Levy, Jet and Droy had their heads together, chatting. And Natsu Dragneel? He felt like he was being tugged, a puppet on a string, yanked viciously out of Fairy Tail. He knew she hadn't asked him to come, not yet, and yet he couldn't say no. Gray hadn't seen him yet. Praying that no one would say a word, he turned towards the back exit and crossed the room in long, fast strides. He almost sighed in relief when he pushed open the door and let it close quietly and no one stopped him, but there was no air in his lungs.
The world outside felt too bright, even though the sky was overcast with high, light grey clouds. Behind Fairy Tail the grass was longer. The guild, atop its giant hill, overlooked Magnolia. Natsu could see the city sprawling out down below, the carts moving like ants in a huge colony. He wasn't interested in that, though, he was more interested in the black shade that was moving at break-neck speed, skating over the ground like a shadow. He hardly had time to draw air into his lungs when the shade abruptly stopped inches from his body and took form. Loke unfolded, Lucy hanging from his side. Natsu felt a hot stab of jealousy; it was overruled by shock when he noticed Loke's skin, black and ivory. And his eyes, dark like Lucy's.
"What the fuck happened to you?"
Loke didn't respond.
Natsu turned to Lucy, unable to look away from her for long. "What did you do?"
"The better question is, what did you do?" There was a sharpness in her voice. "Does Master Makarov know that Zeref was here in Magnolia?"
He didn't want to tell her he'd been unable to say a word. "Why was he here, Lucy?"
"Answer me." Her voice cracked over him like a whip. "Does he know?"
Natsu clamped his teeth together, wanting to be silent.
Lucy read him well. "You haven't said anything, not yet."
"Gramps wasn't in the guild."
She cocked her head as if listening, her long, golden hair getting pushed over her eyes by the breeze. "You're a liar."
Only half of one. Natsu crossed his arms over his chest to keep from touching her and pushing her hair back. Just thinking about it, his heart quickened, and his skin prickled hotly. Being around her was like standing in too-humid air, uncomfortable and suffocating, and even still he couldn't stop thinking about her.
She took a step closer, fingers reaching for his bruised jaw. Loke got a pained look on his face, as if being away from her was uncomfortable. Natsu knew exactly how he felt. His brow beaded with sweat. He stayed perfectly still, waiting for the moment contact was made, even as he told himself to lean away from her, to go get Master Makarov, to do anything other than be a slave. He didn't have it in him. As soon as she touched him, magic hopped from her skin into his. He resisted the urge to pull away and rub the area; it felt better this way. It felt worse.
"This is from Zeref." She said it… reverently. "Did he hurt you?"
Natsu thought of the army of shadows, and the shame. He'd been punched unconscious. How fucking lame? "No," he lied.
Lucy came closer still, close enough to wrap her arms up around his throat. It wasn't until Natsu hit the wall at his back that he realized she'd pushed him against it. Tearing his eyes from hers, he met Loke's gaze, half expecting—hoping—he'd do something, say something. The lion spirit looked torn, like he wanted to see what Lucy would do, but he also wanted her to get away. In the end, he remained immobile.
"I didn't want him to hurt you," Lucy breathed. She wanted that honour.
"Get away from me, Lucy." Natsu's throat was smaller than a reed. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. He needed to be away from her so he could focus. There were things he needed to know, like why Zeref was so interested in her.
"No." Lucy felt Zeref miles and miles away. This time he was furious like he hadn't been with Loke. She expected him to interrupt, hoped, actually. Gone were her reservations of standing at his side while Fairy Tail rallied. It wouldn't matter as long as he was there. He didn't materialize. Desperate, Lucy took it further, hoping to draw him out by standing on tiptoe and laying a gentle kiss to Natsu's jaw right over the bruise Zeref left behind. Zeref growled but stayed where he was while the dragon slayer unfolded his arms and grabbed her hips. Lucy didn't think he was even aware he'd moved.
"Lucy—"
"Yes?" Magic pulsed inside of her, excited by Zeref's anger. Now it was begging to be released. You'll kill him. You'll kill him. You'll kill him. Your best friend. She knew all of that. She wanted to let the magic out, though. And soon it wasn't going to be about want, it was just going to happen. She tucked her palms inside the collar of his vest then dragged her hands down over his exposed chest. He felt good, too hot against her cold skin, but good. She ventured further, to the waist of his pants.
The only reason Natsu was able to even sort of gather his thoughts was because Loke was there, watching so intently. Natsu forced himself to grab her wrist just as her fingers dipped into his waistband. "Why was Zeref in Magnolia? Why was he in your apartment?"
Lucy shivered hearing Natsu speak the demon king's name. She reached behind him with her free hand, grabbed a handful of his ass and brought him, and his erection, tight against her body. "Does it matter?"
Natsu smothered a gasp that sounded less like a protest and more like a moan. No. "Yes." Releasing her hips, he grabbed Lucy's bicep with the intent of pushing her away, yet when the time came to make the motion, he didn't. His body was being totally uncooperative. He wanted her there. "What did he want with you?"
She smiled; it didn't reach her eyes. "Do you want me to show you?" If she closed her eyes she could see Zeref lift his head up from his palms, clear as day, a murderous expression on his face. He was thinking about coming to Magnolia. To her. To Fairy Tail… Suddenly she forgot why it would be a bad thing. She shimmied closer to Natsu, aware of both Loke and Zeref watching them. It made her skin ignite, between her legs totally soaked. She didn't even have to fight when she worked herself out of Natsu's grasp. Reaching between his legs she squeezed, then licked his jaw. You're going to…
To kill him.
The magic beat like a heart. Gods.
"Lucy…" Her name came out of Natsu's mouth like a moan.
"Yes?" Lucy squeezed, then started to rub him through his pants. He was so hard, it made her giddy. He liked being watched, too. She licked his jaw, sliding over his bruise, then kissed the corner of his mouth. He gasped, startled by the transfer of magic. It hurt just enough to startle him into some sort of coherency.
"S—stop. We need to talk." Talk. About why Zeref was after her. About this sudden change in her demeanor, in her magic.
Lucy nipped his lip. "I don't think there's much to say."
"Yes—you, you attacked Loke." He met Loke's eyes, waiting for the spirit to say something. He was silent, just standing there with his arms crossed over his chest, a complicated expression on his face.
"He's fine now." Lucy licked his lips, sliding her tongue between them teasingly. Natsu groaned. Remember you're mad. Remember she needs help. Remember—
Her hand moved faster over his body.
He wanted so badly for her to keep going. Remember Loke is watching. Why the fuck was he just watching? Why the fuck are you just letting her continue?
"Fuck, Lucy—" He grabbed her wrist, momentarily stopping her, and squeezed out, "Zeref. What was Zeref doing in your apartment after I left?"
His words were like small bullet holes in her skin, making her heart pound painfully. She felt darkness sweep through her, chased up by the memory of what she and Zeref had done. The force was stoked by Zeref's anger, and accentuated by that presence she felt in Natsu, the one that Zeref's magic in her body was so hungry for. It fought so hard to get loose.
To center herself, Lucy bit her lip until it hurt and breathed slowly from her nose, fighting to keep calm. It was a losing battle. She felt her skin trying to change. You're going to kill him. Yes. Absolutely. She thought she shouldn't want that. "Please let me go."
Natsu refused. "How did you kill Shadow Father, Lucy?"
"Natsu, please," she gasped. She couldn't contain it for much longer.
"How? It wasn't Zeref. Loke told me it was you." Now that he'd started, it was like a hot wash of words coming from his mouth.
"Natsu—"
"What have you done?" His voice was rising threateningly but he couldn't get it back under control. She scared him, standing there in a halo of golden hair and pulsing blackness. Something was so horribly wrong. Most terrifying, though, was how horribly right he thought it felt.
"Let go!" She squirmed against his hold; her breath was exploding from her chest now. The world was narrowing tightly and blackness was rolling over her skin. Natsu only pulled her closer, unable to help himself.
"Not until I get an answer!"
Lucy couldn't hold it back anymore. It was coming and Natsu was going to die. She looked into his face and tried to memorize it. It was pinched in rage, in fear and lust. It made the darkest part of her heart expand to the point where she couldn't even think of the consequences, not in that very second.
"This is how I killed him." She pressed her palms against his chest and let her magic say the words she could not.