One Month Later
Shelby loves her job. Strike that, Shelby loves parts of her job. But she is, after all, a candy striper. So her job not infrequently involves such plebian tasks as laundry.
"Did you hear about the sparks in the gate room this morning?" one gossipy nurse asks another.
"No, who?" she whispers back.
Shelby tries not to listen. Not only is gossip a sin, but it's also usually a lie. But the next words penetrate her attempted ignoring. "No, it was Teal'c and some Jaffa chick."
Shelby knows her relationship isn't well-known at the base, so these women aren't trying to be cruel on purpose, but they are certainly being cruel.
"I can't imagine any sparks coming from Teal'c. Does he have any emotions?"
Shelby snorts to herself. She knows her husband does have a lot of emotions, and she has been privy to more than a few of those sparks himself.
"Oh, the way I heard it they were an inch apart, staring at one another."
It really was too good to believe. Shelby never should have thought that someone like Teal'c could end up with someone like her.
-0-0-0-
Shelby and Teal'c don't often see each other at work. Sometimes they'll meet for lunches in the infirmary, but often Shelby studies over lunch time, and usually Teal'c eats with his teammates.
Of course, if Teal'c shows up in the infirmary when Shelby is working, they see each other. But then they are all professionalism, and they don't really have time to talk.
She's never lurked outside of the conference room waiting for him before.
"Shelby," Jack greets her, looking alarmed.
Teal'c turns his head slowly, as if he's reluctant to move his eyes from a… well, for lack of a better term, Jaffa chick. A scantily-clad, very beautiful Jaffa chick that is looking at him with the same sort of lovey-dovey face.
"Hi, Teal'c," Shelby says, moving closer to him, trying to be possessive while not being unprofessional in front of the general.
"Shelby I would like to you to meet Shaun'auc of the Red Hills. Shaun'auc, I would like you to meet Shelby."
Shelby raises one eyebrow in an unconscious imitation of her husband at the way he doesn't tack on something about them being engaged. "I'm his fiancée," she says, waving her hand in his face to display his ring.
"I do not know what that word means," Shaun'auc says.
"I did not mention our relationship before, because Jaffa do not have such a relationship, and therefore would not understand the word for it."
"Well, I would think you could explain it," Shelby says.
Shaun'auc doubles over a bit.
"Her symbiote has reached the age of maturity, we must go to the infirmary," Teal'c says, reaching over to support Shaun'auc.
Shelby moves aside, and lets them walk down the hallway. Jack turns back toward Shelby when they are almost out of sight, and says, "Aren't you coming?"
"I don't think I'm needed," she says quietly, but what she obviously means is that she isn't sure that she's wanted.
"Oh, I think we need you," Jack says in a way that let her know that he's possibly more worried about Teal'c's behavior than she is.
-0-0-0-
Shelby stands behind the group that is crowded around the hospital bed. She watches her fiancé talk to this women, obviously someone he once loved. The question which is pounding her mind is 'Does he love her still?'
And she starts to think thoughts that she does not want to think. Thoughts that terrify her. Her husband is almost a hundred years old. There must have been lots of women. Women that he loved deeply.
Women of his own culture. Women of his own race. Women of his own species.
She could never be these things to him.
How did she expect to keep him?
Her only choice now was to make a fool out of herself by fighting for him, or to let him go gently.
And Shelby never like to look like a fool.
"I gotta be getting to class," Shelby says softly.
Jack gives look which clearly says he intends to guard her fiancé while she is gone.
Teal'c says nothing, even though he really should have known that she was not going anywhere.
-0-0-0
Teal'c walks into the conference room where Shaun'auc is staying, "The Tok'ra council is considering your offer," he says.
"My symbiote is eager to meet them. I hope they can reach their decision within the time," she clutches her stomach, and doubles over in pain. Teal'c is careful to barely touch her, but helps her get up.
"Your pain grows worse!" Teal'c asks with concern.
"Yes," Shaun'auc admits.
"For what reason did you wait so long?"
"I was afraid you would not believe. Since word came to the temple that you betrayed Apophis, I have thought of you every day," she says in a voice which sounded alluring; if, of course, you were a Jaffa who could notice small changes in vocal tone. Their symbiotes lessened all of their emotions.
"As a Shol'va?" Teal'c asks, taking a step back.
She takes a step toward him, making up the distance that they lost when Teal'c took a step away. "No, Teal'c. Because of you my doubts became certainties. When we were children, you were always the strongest, the bravest. That you would one day be First Prime was never doubted. But you did what no Jaffa before you had ever done. You challenged the gods themselves and won. Among many on Chulak you are as revered as the gods once were and yet you walk way," she puts up a hand to touch his face. He grabs her hand to stop him.
"My place is here," he says, talking her hand and dropping it to the side.
"Is it? Bra'tac cannot be expected to bear the burden alone. It was you who first began walking this path. Do not abandon those who have followed you this far!"
She turns away, and he spins her around in fury. Touching her shoulders, but no more than that, he tells her, "I have abandoned no-one."
He lets her go, and she takes a couple of steps away before she turns, "When I die and you are the only one capable of teaching others what I have learned, what will you do then?"
"Do not concern yourself with me," Teal'c says flippantly.
"I have all but given my life for a cause that you inspired!" she shouts at him. He turns to leave the room, but her voice stops him. "What did it show you?"
"The murder of my father at the hands of Cronus."
"It wanted you to know fear, but you are stronger than that. My first communion was much the same, but with time the images it chose to share with me began to change. With time, I began to teach it a new way," she says. She smiles at Teal'c and says, "I do not wish to lose you for a second time."
She leans forward and starts to kiss him. Teal'c pulls away, and she look at him strangely. "I did not have time before to describe to you the meaning of the word fiancée."
"Yes, it's that thing you have with that Earth girl. She's very young, isn't she?"
"Indeed," he says. He pauses before he moves on, "On Earth there is a great deal of time between deciding to be married and actually engaging in the ceremony," he explains.
"So you've agreed to marry this child?"
"She is not a child, and our marriage is quickly approaching."
"Maybe the reason you didn't tell me before has nothing to do with not having the time to tell me," Shaun'ac says.
"That is incorrect," he says, walking out of the room without offering her another word.
-0-0-0-
"I have returned to our place of residence," Teal'c says as he enters the house.
Usually, she comes out to meet him right when he comes home when she is available. Maybe she isn't home, he thinks to himself. He runs through his schedule in his head, and comes to the surprising conclusion that she lied about having a class earlier today.
Either that or her schedule changed, and he didn't previously inform him. That was more likely, Shelby would not lie to him.
He moves over to the freezer to take out one of the pre-made meals that are common on this world.
Shelby comes around the corner into the kitchen, and startles him.
Not that anyone could tell he was startled. But if you've spend enough of your life in war you react to every movement, especially unexpected ones.
"You're home late," she says.
"I kel'no'reemed at work."
"You Kal-no-reemed with Shaun'auc?" She basically just asked if her fiancé is sleeping with someone else. But she's pretty sure he's not going to put the earth innuendo together with the Jaffa word. Even if Jaffa slept with someone, he still wouldn't have slept.
"That is incorrect."
"Ok, so why did you kel'no'ream at work? You never do that!"
"I was attempting to contact my symbiote," he explains.
"That snake in your belly? Why would you were try to talk to it?"
"Shaun'auc says that she managed to convince her symbiote that the Goa'uld are evil. I was trying to do the same."
"But you weren't with Shau'aunc after I left?" Shelby says hopefully.
"That is incorrect," he says.
"Ok, so I'll find an apartment," she says.
"Why would you move out so close to our nuptials?" he asks.
"Are you kidding me? Do you really think you can cheat on me, and I'm going to keep living with you? Still marry you? No way!"
"I did not cheat on you," he says.
She examines his face, and wonders if she would be able to tell if he was lying. She can recognize emotions on his face better than anyone else, at least anyone else who is not Jaffa. But she's never thought about whether or not she can figure out if he is lying. She'd always assumed that he would never lie to her.
"Maybe you didn't cheat on my physically, but the way you looked at her was totally cheating."
"I am sorry if my expressions offended you, you have been telling me that I need to have more facial expressions."
"That is not the point. Did you love her?" Shelby demands.
Teal'c slowly nods his head.
"Goodnight," she says, trying to spin out of the room.
"I have lived for a hundred years. Did you imagine that I had never experienced love before I met you?"
"I did!" she says turning to yell at him, "Because you told me so."
"You are incorrect," he says, his voice still annoyingly calm, "I mealy informed you that I loved you with more intensity than I have ever loved another."
"So you're trying to say that you love me more? I saw the way you looked at her, and you have never looked at me like that!"
He looks at her silently for a minute, and then he says, "When I was last with Shau'auc, I sensed that she would have been open to a physical relationship."
"Well, pin a rose on her nose," Shelby says.
"I did not reciprocate her advances," he says.
"Well, after we break up you can go and reciprocate her brains out," Shelby says.
"I loved her, but I can live without her. I have, for half of a century. You I could not live without," he says gently.
Shelby melts slightly, and allows him to hug her although his body is still stiff with tension.
"How many were there?" she asks with her face in his shoulder, "In a hundred years, how many women have you loved?" Suddenly she pulls away, and speaks frantically, "Don't answer that question. Don't ever answer it. I'm not sure that our relationship is going to survive the answer to that question. A hundred years, I'm sure there were a lot. You're with me now, you're choosing to be with me now, and that is all I need to focus on."
"Five," Teal'c says.
"What?" Shelby asks.
"I have loved five women. And you are the one that I loved the most deeply," Teal'c replies.
She smiles, "I'm going to be a jealous idiot as long as she's on Earth. So I apologize for anything I do until she leaves."
"Hopefully, that will not take a great deal of time," Teal'c says.
The Next Day
Shelby wakes up to the smell of bacon. Teal'c has never cooked for her before. If she wasn't around, he'd make TV dinners or toast for himself, or for the girls, if they happened to be around. But he'd never actually cooked, and never when she was in the house. He'd never said as much, but Shelby figured it was part of that whole "women's work" kind of thing that was pretty well ingrained in Teal'c's head (even though he'd gotten smart enough to know not to actually say that in front of Shelby).
She comes out into the kitchen, and gives her husband a peck on the cheek. She figures this is guilt about her jealousy, "Thanks for making breakfast."
Teal'c nods his head, and hands her a plate.
She sits down at the table, and begins to eat. Teal'c sits across from her, but he doesn't have any food.
"Did you already eat?"
"I am not hungry, man," he says staring at her.
She puts down her fork. "Ok, what's going on?"
"Have you ever considered the prospect of living off-world?" Teal'c asks.
Shelby's eyebrows shoot through the ceiling, "You're asking me if I'm going to stay with you if you go traipsing through the universe following your ex-girlfriend?"
"Shaun'auc has taught me how to commune with the Goa'uld. I believe that spreading this knowledge to other Jaffa would be the most effective way to end the reign of the Goa'uld," Teal'c says.
"But you swore an oath of loyalty to my planet," Shelby asks sadly.
He nods his head, "That was when I believed that fighting alongside the warriors of your planet was the most effective way of combating the Goa'uld. I no longer believer this to be true."
"So, you want to know if I will follow you, and watch you spend time with your girlfriend?"
"If we return to Chulak, I will visit different villages than Shaun'auc."
"If I say no, are we done?" Shelby asks.
"If you say no, then I am done with this plan," Teal'c says.
Shelby eyes well up. He's willing to give up his purpose in life for her. And she's not going to let him do this. "You'll help me adjust to life on another planet?" she asks.
"Indeed," her husband says with a wide grin.
Two Days Later
Shelby runs through the Goa'uld greetings in her head. Words, bow. Which greeting do you use for the light ash emblem again? She remembered the dark ash, and the gold, but what were the words for the light ash?
"I have rendered my resignation, are you ready?" Teal'c asks.
No, Shelby mentally screams. She's crammed as much studying into two days as she can. She's said goodbye to her family, but she is nowhere ready to step through a stargate and live the rest of her life on another planet.
She knows that Teal'c did this. But she's not sure if she can. She smiles, and hopes that her fiancé is as bad at reading facial expressions as he is at making them.
The Stargate activates, and Teal'c rushes into the gate room. Shelby walks after him.
Shaun'auc is carried down the gate room in a stretcher. Her face has the pallor of death.
Teal'c bows close to her face, and whispers words in Goa'uld.
Shelby tries to remember the meaning of them, but she isn't very good at other languages. She has no idea what it means.
But she knows, looking at her husband's face that he is grieving deeply. He loved this women, he loved this women intensely.
Yet, he loved her more. He choose her over this women.
She walks up next to him, and wraps an arm around his waist. "I'm sorry," she says.
"I am too," he says.
One Day Later
When you're in love with someone who the majority of their lifespan before you were born, there are things going to be things that you don't know about them. There are going to be a lot of things you don't know. She just didn't know how many of them there was.
She never realized how much darkness was in the heart of the man she had planned to spend the rest of her life with.
Jaffa revenge was a scary thing.
"Be careful," she'd told him before he'd left, but the words were ridiculous. She had no worries that anyone was going to harm her husband. She was a lot more worried that he was going to harm himself, harm his soul.
She wanted to tell him not to kill the man. To let someone else do it. But she knew that he wouldn't. And she knew also, that he shouldn't. Asking someone to kill for you was even worse than killing for yourself.
She knows it's not the first time her husband has killed a bad man. She knows it's not the last time that he will.
And she hates it, even though she loves him.
Note: Of course, he didn't kill Tannith (yet) but I didn't want to go into that quite yet. This chapter was already pretty long.
Also, for some reason I thought Teal'c was 70-ish. But I was re-watching "The Light" where he confesses to being 101 years old in season four. So I did a quick change on a couple of chapters I was close to posting. But I didn't want to re-post the one chapter a long time ago where Teal'c refers to being about fifty years older than Shelby, when he would really be closer to eighty. I'll just do it better in the future.