Chapter Eighteen
It didn't take long to pack up what remained of their supplies. Beorne took care of the remains of the fire while Kristoff checked the mounts' various trappings. Elsa gradually lowered her ice walls one at a time, keeping an eye out for any movement in the trees beyond. She also reached out to the snow that lay thick upon the ground and was relieved to have it respond to her. While no one stared directly at Feilan, the guide was never unobserved. The smaller woman stayed in plain sight, arms crossed and eyes downcast.
Only when all was ready and the others were mounted did Feilan move to take the lead once again. Without meeting anyone's eyes, she said, "'m gonna take us a bit around from where th'snowbeasts ambushed us."
Captain Beorne harrumphed. "So it was an ambush? Not an accident."
A shrug preceded muttered words. "As much as any o'th'other attacks were?" When the Captain frowned heavily, Feilan added, "Look, I jes' know they don't act right, 'kay?"
Elsa saw the Captain's chest expand as he drew in air for more questions. As much as she wanted answers to those questions, she somehow dreaded them as well. Interrupting him, she said, "Let's be on our way. I'll clear the snow ahead and mask our trail behind this time, so it will be faster - and hopefully safer - going."
The Captain let his in-drawn breath escape in a soft huff. His instinct was to ride between his Queen and the… whatever-it-was that Feilan, well, was…. It rapidly became apparent, however, that Queen Elsa intended to ride just behind their guide. Reluctantly Beorne allowed himself to drop back a bit and assume a rearguard position. He kept his crossbow close to hand, however, and his gaze rarely left the small guide's back.
Elsa carved a firm, level path made of textured snow that easily supported all of them. She made no gesture, but the surrounding snow continued to whirl and form just a few feet before Feilan. The veil was not thick enough to obscure trees and landmarks, but it was a veil that was in constant motion. It made for a very disconcerting and dizzying vision. Whenever Captain Beorne dared to twist in his saddle to look behind them, he was greeted with the equally eerie sight of that road erasing itself, particles swirling up to join that constantly shifting veil of snow. It was as though they were ensnared in one of those fancy glass globes he had once seen, tiny figures forever caught in a whirling maelstrom of white.
Up ahead, he heard Feilan ask, "Why didn'a ye do this afore?" in that thick peasant accent.
He saw Elsa shrug her shoulders with a pained wince, favoring her injured arm, before she responded, "I didn't wish to appear too… intimidating."
"Huh," was the small mountaineer's grunted response.
Krokus blew air through her nostrils and pranced a few steps sideways as Beorne tightened his legs about her belly. Realizing what he was doing, he forced himself to relax his limbs until his horse yawned her relief.
"Really don't trust her, huh?" Kristoff asked as Sven suddenly veered closer. The male mountaineer's voice was pitched to be both quiet yet carry, at least to within Beorne's hearing.
The Captain chewed his mustache a little. "She… concerns me. Too much unexplained. Too much coincidence. Just happens to be at the inn after the first attack? Just happens to be waiting on the same trail we're taking back to the castle? Even 'saves' us from a second attack? It sets me ill at ease. Very ill at ease." Glancing aside at Kristoff, he asked, "And you? Do you trust her?"
Sven paced some lengths before Kristoff answered. "I don't not trust her, I guess."
"How do you mean?" Captain Beorne twisted in his saddle so he could better eye the mountaineer on his reindeer.
"Well, multiple people have said she's saved merchants," Kristoff said, tapping one mittened hand against the other.
"Or spared them," the Captain muttered, casting a suspicious glance at Feilan.
"And she helped save us." He tapped his mittened hands again. It occurred to Beorne that the mountaineer was probably counting reasons on his fingers.
"Or staged it." Beorne knew he was being a bit perverse in his advocacy, yet he was truly curious to hear the male mountaineer's reasoning.
"Well, those bites weren't faked, at least," Kristoff commented, tapping his hands one more time before gesturing to Beorne with an upturned palm. "You should know, you tended them."
"I admit they were all too real. As is the one on Queen Elsa's arm." That emerged as more of a growl than Beorne intended. Was it his imagination, or did Feilan's head twitch when he said that?
Leaning forward to rub Sven between his antlers, Kristoff grunted, "Not gonna forgive her for that one, are you? Eh, can't say I blame ya. If it was Anna she'd bitten, I'd be… well… I'd not be very nice, let's put it that way."
"So you'd protect the Princess far more than you'd protect the Queen?" Captain Beorne snapped. "Good information to know."
Sven and Kristoff exchanged a glance over Sven's shoulder, then both shook their heads slightly. "You're really gonna need to work on that," the mountaineer said aloud.
"Work on what, pray tell?" Captain Beorne hunched his shoulders, then forced himself to relax when Krokus bounced her head and snorted.
Kristoff shook his head again, but only said, "Look, I'm just sayin' Elsa had one bite. How many did Feilan have? And Elsa's was a clean one. Not even that deep. Feilan looked like she was chewed on."
Some part of the Captain's mind recognized the logic in Kristoff's words. It wasn't his mind that seemed to have control of his mouth, however, as he snarled, "So are you now defending her? Because she bled a bit and pretends to be a mountaineer like you? She… bit… the… Queen!"
Kristoff's good-natured calm finally cracked. "Nevermind. Let me know when you realize it's not 'the Queen' you're so fired up about. Maybe then you'll see more sense. C'mon, Sven. I'm getting a headache banging my skull on this frozen tree." Mountaineer and reindeer moved away from the Captain. They ranged to the far side of Elsa's snow sphere, the reindeer's legs keeping a strange rhythm with the swirling flakes.
Confusion and irritation caused Captain Beorne's mustache to bristle. Truly, mountaineers were an unfathomable breed of people. He shifted his crossbow in his lap and returned his attention to the female mountaineer that led them. A mountaineer that claimed she could change into a monster. A monster that always appeared with the strange snow storms. His finger rested alongside the trigger of his crossbow. He had already seen Elsa harmed twice on this expedition.
He had no intention of seeing her hurt again.
Up ahead, the women continued a stiff silence after Feilan's one inquiry. They could hear the men talking behind them, but the ever-moving snow created a soft susurrus that obscured most of their words. Every now and then Elsa heard mention of her name or her title, but for the most part her concentration was the snow road she was both creating and obscuring. What attention was left over was held by the ache in her arm and the smaller woman that walked beside her horse. More than once she opened her mouth and inhaled cold air, only to exhale it without a single word to give it form.
Just as the mens' voices were getting loud enough she might make out words without too much effort, Feilan's gruff voice clawed at her awareness.
"Does… does yer arm hurt ye much?" the smaller mountaineer asked.
Elsa looked down at her from Snofonn's height. Unconsciously snugging her wounded arm protectively against her body, she answered, "Somewhat. Not overmuch. And your wounds?"
"Healing," their guide grunted. After a few long, uncomfortable moments, she added, "I didna mean t'bite s'hard."
That made Elsa study the top of Feilan's head. Feeling very odd with the topic, she said, "All things considered, the bite isn't that deep." They traveled in silence a few more steps before Elsa awkwardly inquired, "You told Kristoff you heal quickly. Your wounds… were they… how bad before you… I mean, is that why it took you a while to find us?"
Feilan's shoulders hunched. "Partly."
"Partly? What else delayed you?" That came out in a more regal, demanding tone than Elsa had intended.
"I… thought about not…," Feilan twisted her head aside, although her stride remained straight. "I mean… you… magic… was afraid… hoped..." The words died off with a frustrated kick at the snowy road. Elsa's magic held true, however, so there was no satisfactory spray.
"Hoped," Elsa repeated. She stared into the swirl of her own snow for a few moments, then abruptly slid from Snofonn's back. She could almost hear Captain Beorne's glaring disapproval, but his concern wasn't as loud to her as the shock that caused Feilan to finally look at her. Falling into stride alongside the startled guide with Snofonn's reins clenched in her good hand, Elsa continued to gaze at her snow. "Hope," she said again, then added, "is, I am beginning to think, a very painful, cruel thing."
Feilan continued to stare at her.
"When did you learn you were… could do… magic?" Elsa asked as gently as she could.
That caused Feilan to drop her gaze to the ground again.
In a calm tone that gave no hint to the painful pounding of her heart, Elsa said, "I learned when I was very young. Too young to remember any details, really, other than my parents'… surprise. Shock, really. Although as a child, I simply enjoyed the attention it got me." She offered their guide a small, wry smile, but found the effort wasted as Feilan's eyes were still directed to the ground. Clearing her throat, she continued, "My father, I think, tried to pretend it was nothing noteworthy. Perhaps to keep me from seeking too much attention with it."
"Coulda been afraid of it," Feilan said so quietly that the snow nearly covered her words.
Elsa blinked, then slowly admitted, "That's possible. It could explain… what happened later." She sighed, feeling the age-old ache every child feels when they realize their parents are human and capable of grave errors. With a one-shoulder shrug, she redirected her thoughts. "My mother tried to help teach me the use of my powers at first, but after the… incident… accident… with Anna… my father took over those lessons."
Their guide glanced up, thick eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. "Wait… so… did they have th'same powers? Since they were teachin' ye?"
Shaking her head, Elsa clarified, "No. They were guessing about what to do. That's why they went to the rock trolls when things… went wrong."
Feilan tilted her head. "Is tha'when they locked ye away?" she asked in a child-like tone.
Elsa couldn't help but chuckle, though the chuckle became a soft hiss when she tried to cover her mouth with the wrong hand. "You make it sound like a fairy tale… like I was some princess locked away in a tower," she smiled, then shook her head at Feilan's guilty expression. "And stop looking at me like that. Yes, you wounded me. Yes, it hurts… for now. It will heal. It's not like you bit off the entire arm." She shook her head again, although this time it was over the strangeness of treating the bite so casually. Opting for a little levity to offset the oddity, she added, "You didn't even bite off so much as a finger!"
That felt even more odd.
The guide's gaze dropped to the ground yet again, the humor apparently lost on her. They walked in silence for a few strides before the smaller woman muttered, "But they did lock you away." She abruptly lifted her head and thrust out her chin. "An'you were a princess at the time!"
Keeping up with Feilan's mood shifts was definitely as dizzying as trying to keep up with Anna's fluid logic. Trying to not laugh at that stubborn chin, Elsa conceded, "Well, okay, I was a princess, yes… but they didn't lock me away. I was still free to come and go… I just… we just… believed it was better that I not… interact much… with others. That it was… safer. For everyone."
"C'n unnerstand that," Feilan mumbled.
Attempting to keep her tone casual, Elsa asked, "Did they lock you away? Your family?"
The small mountaineer twisted her head away from Elsa so that her growl could barely be heard. "Nah s'much. Nah 'xactly." A few more strides were spent in silence before she abruptly asked, "Yer clothes. Ye c'n change'em, right?"
Caught off-guard, Elsa immediately answered, "Yes." Seeing an opportunity for a less upsetting topic to draw the mountaineer out, though, she quickly responded with her own question. "And you can change your clothes too, right? At least, you implied that this morning?"
Feilan shrugged. "Sort of? Whatever I'm wearin', it's th'same when I change back." She shook her head. "Dunno. But you – you can choose yer clothes, right? I mean, night afore, when ye were… in th'snow..." She floundered, looked to Elsa as though hoping the taller woman would supply the words, then sighed when all the Queen did was raise a single eyebrow. More carefully, and without the peasant accent, she said, "When I followed you. I didn't just see you make things from the snow. I saw you change your clothes… from what you're wearing now, to that… the gown."
"Yes," Elsa allowed, still keeping that one eyebrow raised. She had volunteered enough information. It was time to see if she could coax more from Feilan. Not to mention, her own curiosity was burning with a painful intensity.
The guide growled low in her throat, then continued, "So you can just kind of make up your own wardrobe… whatever you need, right? Can… can you make other things?"
This was beginning to feel like an informal court session, where each side was trying to gain more information than was given. At least that was a game Elsa understood, far better than social conversation. She straightened her spine as she walked and allowed a more regal tone slide into her speech. "I can affect my own clothes, and I can add designs to another person's outfit," she answered, deliberately not mentioning living snowbeings that came to mind. "And you? Can you not affect your own clothes?"
Feilan did that odd head twist that kept her from looking directly at Elsa. "No," she responded, "Like I said, I'm just wearing whatever was on me at th'time I shifted."
A small thrill of curiosity tingled along Elsa's throat. "Anything? Even something like your pack?"
The guide still kept her head to one side, but her shoulders relaxed a little. "No? I mean… if it's something I don't think about, like belt or a sheathed knife, then yeh it's there when I shift back. But if it's something I'm aware of… like my pack, or if I've got my knife in my hand… then it's dropped. I hafta go back and get it. It's weird."
"I know, right?" Elsa couldn't help but smile, that tingle turning into an excited bubble. "I mean, I can change my clothes, and add decorations to others, but I can't change their clothes. Where's the logic in that? Not that I really should expect logic from magic, I suppose, but still…!"
Feilan tilted her head in what could only be described as a shy glance, with the first sign of a smile touching her normally straight mouth. "Y'know what else is weird?"
"Hm?" Elsa prompted, once again off-guard from the guide's abrupt shift in mannerisms.
"Talkin' like this. About… y'know… magic. Like it's normal. Well, not normal, but… like it's okay to talk about it." The shyness stumbled into frustration, bringing a halt to the words.
"I think I know what you mean," Elsa sighed wistfully. "I can talk with Anna easily enough about all this," she gestured to the snow that still whirled about them and made a path of itself beneath them. "But it's still not the same as talking with someone who is… well… magic."
She was rewarded with an eager nod of agreement from their guide. Elsa's own excitement was beginning to grow a shadow of guilt, however, as she continued to deliberately try to coax more information from the smaller woman. Either Feilan was as skilled a manipulator as Hans ever was, or she was truly no more than she presented herself to be: a mountaineer with the ability to shapeshift into a snowbeast. More and more Elsa was coming to the belief that the latter held true, in which case her own machinations were beginning to feel oddly like a betrayal.
Elsa's convoluted musings were interrupted by another inquiry from Feilan. "Anna… that's yer sister, right? Must be nice, still, y'know, havin' someone ye can talk to, even if they aren't… y'know, magic… like… like us?" She cast another shy glance at Elsa that seemed to carry a slight undercurrent of fear when she said that final word, "us".
Not want to acknowledge the frightened bubble of excitement within herself, Elsa steered the conversation to more inquisitive and therefor safer ground. "Yes, Anna is my sister. Tell me, do you have family? Parents? Brothers, sisters? I can't recall if you've mentioned any before."
Feilan turned her gaze ahead, the shyness evaporating and leaving behind a more matter-of-fact demeanor. "I got family, I s'pose. Brothers. Sisters. Parents. We was a large-ish family."
"You suppose? Are you not close?" Elsa tilted her head, then abruptly straightened. "Wait… 'was'? Are they… gone?"
Feilan snorted, dismissing any sympathetic notions Elsa may have had regarding deceased family. "Might as well be? When I started showin' th'fur'n'teeth, well, let's just say th'tower option woulda looked mighty good to us if'n there was a tower I could be stuffed intah."
"I… I'm genuinely sorry to hear that," said Elsa softly. As much as the death of her parents still hurt, she couldn't imagine having lived without their support. Living without Anna for thirteen years had hurt enough. Living without her support now was unimaginable.
The smaller woman shrugged. "Ah, don't waste yer pity on me. Me leavin' were for th'best. They get to live their lives, an'I… live… mine. Lot less trouble."
"So… you have no one? No family, no friends?" Elsa couldn't stop from glancing over her shoulder to the men that trailed behind them. Kristoff and Sven rode far to the side, while Captain Beorne still kept a respectful distance to the rear. Neither man glanced at the other. She wondered briefly if they were maximizing their coverage, then looked forward again, distracted by other thoughts. It occurred to her that she could no more imagine her life without them than she could Anna.
That got her thinking about about others as well, such as Kai and Gerda.
Really, there were so many at the castle that supported her. They flinched from her magic, true, but still they stayed. Well, Kristoff stayed for Anna, but he still accepted Elsa as part of Anna's life. She began to wonder if so many kept their distance not out of fear, but out of respect for her own habit of distance. A safe distance, she had so often told herself, and nevermind the quiet heartache that went with it.
So now why, in this moment, did that heartache suddenly become vicious enough to steal her breath away?
Fiercely wishing Anna was there, Elsa almost missed Feilan's dismissive snort. "Told ya, don't feel sorry fer me. Things was hard fer a bit, mebbe did some things I shouldn't, but didn't know no better at the time." She paused, then cast a sharp look at Elsa. "Not too much unlike ye, amiright? That storm and all? An'safe t'say, ye don't want no person feelin' sorry for you, amiright?"
Wrangling politics in the court was beginning to seem simple to trying to maintain even footing in this conversation. Giving herself a mental shake, Elsa cleared her throat. "No, no I wouldn't want anyone feeling sorry for me." She allowed herself a small, wry smile. "Come to think of it, when I first assumed my crown, some of the court advisers tried the 'poor child' routine on me." Her smile turned slightly feral. "They learned quickly I am no child."
Feilan eyed that smile with something akin to awe. "You're a Queen," she said slowly.
"Are you just now realizing this?" Elsa smirked. "I could change into royal robes and crown if it would be more convincing." She was not above resorting to snark to try and reestablish her mental footing.
Their guide gave herself a visible shake and looked ahead. "Nah. Ye got a royal enough attitude," she said with a bit of her own snark. "Just now thinking that maybe you're a good one."
"Thank you for the confidence," commented Elsa wryly. "I wasn't aware my worth was in question."
"Well, I'm sure yer fine and all for th'castle, but… fer all of Arendelle?" Feilan shrugged. "Dinna know if ye've th'land's best interests t'heart."
Elsa's good humor vanished. "I've told you before, I want the best for Arendelle!"
Feilan snorted. "Fer th'castle an'stuffy nobles, sure. But th'land? Arendelle may be yer kingdom, Yer Highness, but it's m'home."
"Are you trying to antagonize me?" Elsa snapped, feeling the familiar chill race along her skin. So much for the mental footing. "Arendelle is my home, too! All of the country, not just the castle! I know full well that it takes every farmer, every goatherd, every person to keep this kingdom alive and well!"
"An'th'trees? Th'land itself? Th'mountains tha'protect yer castle?" prodded the small guide.
Elsa tried to shake the chill that was creeping into her head. How had the conversation changed so quickly into something so irritating? They had been making progress!
Progress towards what, her thoughts asked yet provided no answer.
Pain shot through her wounded arm as she clenched her fists, the reins digging into her good hand. For once, the ache from the bite was welcome as it cleared the worst of the frost from her mind. Glaring at Feilan, she repeated in her most regal tone, "All of Arendelle. The physical land, as well as the people. Even the beasts that live on the land and among the people." Abruptly something clicked. She eyed their guide and asked, "Feilan, is it… are you so concerned because…. Well, because you become a….?"
"A beast?" Feilan sniffed, "Aye and well. I… I've heard… stories. Y'know, of rulers tha'didn't care for their land. Just about useless bits of metal t'keep in their castles, and entire forests laid bare to get it there." She looked away from Elsa but continued, "I just… wanted to know… make sure…. That you… It took ye long enough t'check inta th'storms… so thought ye didn't..."
"Sven! No! Look out! Incoming reindeer!"
Suddenly everything exploded into a frantic flailing of movement as a reindeer plunged between Elsa and Feilan. Snofonn squealed and reared, forelegs striking the air over Elsa's head. She had enough presence of mind to let most of the reins slide through her hands, then waited for him to come back down. As soon as he did, she seized his bridle to prevent him from rearing again or plunging away.
As soon as Snofonn seemed willing to stand on four, albeit trembling, legs, Elsa dared to look around. Sven was facing her, his head drooping with embarrassment. In his mouth he had a firmly packed snowball. Looking under Snofonn's tossing head, she could see Feilan sprawled on her back, teeth bared. Those teeth were very much not human, and that golden gleam was back in those brown eyes.
Honestly, Elsa was fit to choke Kristoff at the moment. Right when Feilan was saying something that sounded like a valid connection between herself and the storms….!
Twisting around, she glared behind them. Kristoff stood between them and Captain Beorne, who was still mounted on his Krokus. Both man and mare were glaring at the mountaineer. Kristoff was rubbing the back of his head sheepishly.
"I, uh, sorry about that," he apologized. "We were just getting, uh, bored, so started playing fetch, with, y'know, snowballs, and uhm… well, I kinda lost track of where I was aiming..."
Elsa glared at Kristoff, then switched her stare to Captain Beorne. "And you didn't notice what he was doing?" she asked
The Captain's furious gaze swiftly shifted to guilt. Looking down at his horse's stiff mane, he admitted, "No, my Queen. I was… thinking."
Pain flared in her bad arm as she twitched her fingers in a surreptitious gesture. Elsa was frustrated, but the two men looked so embarrassed it was difficult to hold onto her anger. They looked a bit like Anna and probably herself when they were small children, recently caught in some mischief. She had the sudden and strange urge to ruffle their hair.
Still, lessons had to be taught. Keeping her voice in its chilliest Queen mode, she said, "Am I the only one concerned about possibly being attacked a third time? I know I've been chatting with our guide here, however I have also been maintaining a road beneath us and a snow flurry around us to help obscure our location. I had thought the Captain of my Royal Guard and the Royal Ice Deliverer and Mountaineer would have had the presence of mind to keep watch as well."
Both men kept their gazes lowered.
Perfect.
Sven's widening eyes and startled snort was the only warning given to the men. The whirling snowballs that Elsa had formed behind them suddenly hurled forward with a tiny gesture from her. Kristoff yelped and stumbled forward, nearly going to his knees before whirling about. Captain Beorne made an odd barking noise as his legs clamped about Krokus's barrel, causing the mare to abruptly plunge forward. His recovery was nearly as quick as Kristoff's, however, as he used legs and reins to pull Krokus into a tight spin.
Both men were promptly greeted with a second volley of snow, applied directly to their faces.
Elsa stroked Snofonn's neck, soothing her horse as she waited for the men to slowly turn towards her with snow-whiskered visages. She could hear snorts of laughter from both Feilan and Sven. It was no small effort keeping herself from laughter as well, though she couldn't stop the smirk that twisted her lips. Gazing with affected calmness at the two men, she raised both eyebrows in a silent invite to comment.
Both men gazed at her, then slowly wiped the snow from their faces.
"That," Kristoff dared to speak, "was unnecessary."
One eyebrow dropped, the other staying up. "Was it?" she asked, lips twitching.
"An effective point made, Your Highness," Beorne rumbled, his mustache trembling so that tiny bits of snow were shaken loose. If Elsa wasn't mistaken, her Captain was trying very hard not to laugh.
"Look, I still have nightmares of Marshmallow, okay?" Kristoff grumbled. "Seeing a big ball of snow coming at my face like that…!" He abruptly cut off as Sven trotted over to give assistance. His idea of assistance, however, was to swipe his tongue broadly over Kristoff's face, leaving the mountaineer spluttering.
Assured that the men were more alert now and not terribly offended, Elsa returned her attention to Feilan.
The guide was still sitting on the snowy road, but she was grinning broadly with very human teeth and very brown eyes. More relaxed than Elsa could ever recall, the female mountaineer draped her arms over her knees and dared to gaze directly up at Elsa.
"Oh yeh, you're a great Queen," she said. "Definitely one I could get behind."
Elsa had to resist the urge to rest her increasingly aching head against Snofonn's neck. One disastrous expedition. One bored and slightly unpredictable not-yet-brother-in-law. One inexplicably surly Captain of the Royal Guard. One very odd rivalry between them that kept coming and going without rhyme or reason.
Oh, and let's not forget the shapeshifting guide with the equally shifty accent and shifty moods and just overall… shiftiness.
And let's not deny her own recent, world-tilting bouts of hope and fear that danced about nebulous concepts she didn't dare put names to...
Snofonn, with all his flightiness, was easier to understand and deal with than… than all this.
People made no sense.
None.