A/N: Sorry for the delay in getting this posted. It has been a busy week. I hope to not be so long in updating for the remainder of the story. I did not spend as much time as I usually do editing so if you notice any glaring errors in grammar and spelling feel free to PM me about it so I can fix it.
I will be working on this story and another for the Winter Swan Queen Big Bang. I hope you will keep an eye out for that new story when it posts in January in its entirety. As always thank you guys for your great and encouraging comments. It does my writer's heart good.
Regina Mills watched out the window as darkness crept over the world around her. Night was falling and soon she wouldn't be able to see anything about where they were going. She felt a tiny bit of fear at the idea that she had so suddenly gotten into a car and driven away from the city with this woman and her son.
Our son.
It was overwhelming to say the least. They'd talked some. They'd sung along with the radio. They'd stopped for gas and drinks. But mostly they were on their way to this mysterious town of Storybrooke where Regina had a full life, a challenging career… and a family.
On they drove and the silence was comfortable. Regina chanced a glance at the woman beside her. The real Emma Swan was gripping the steering wheel loosely, her eyes alert and trained on the road ahead of them. Since she was unaware in the now darkened car that she was being scrutinized, dark eyes were allowed to indulge just a moment longer in their curious journey.
Emma's hair was soft and blonde, though not so blonde as to feel unnatural or brassy. She had beautiful, intelligent eyes that seemed to see everything. She was an observer. Regina wondered absently if this was the Emma Swan who'd been a bail bonds person the police had mentioned that used to live in Boston but moved away. She certainly seemed capable of finding people as a career. She had found Regina after all.
Regina's gaze trailed down the blonde's pale skin, illuminated now only by the lights on the car's console. She had a pert little nose, just right for her face, that made her look a bit elvish and certainly like she could find her own trouble if she wanted to. Her pink lips were relaxed and pouty. The other woman seemed to be somewhere far away in her mind.
The brunette considered that if she were to pick a partner for herself she could certainly have done far worse in the realm of physical beauty. She realized she had little else to go on at this point. All she knew about Emma was how she looked, how she drove, and that the blonde clearly adored her and the kid.
Henry.
Regina glanced back. The boy had dozed off with his earbuds in and his iPod playing. He had been listening earlier with the volume much too high but she hadn't felt she could tell him. Thankfully Emma had stepped in and made him turn it down. Perhaps they worked together as a team. That was what made good parents wasn't it?
Regina looked out her window again, trying to make out landmarks but she found it had been quite some time now since they had passed anything like civilization. No buildings, no farms, no other cars… nothing. It seemed Storybrooke was a little off the beaten path. Maybe being mayor of this town wasn't as big a deal as it sounded. Could there be anything out here?
How had she wound up so far from home? The question had been playing in Regina's mind the longer they had driven. But she knew there would be plenty of time to ask questions. She made a mental note to ask that, along with the million other things she wanted to know. She yawned quietly. The quiet hum of the engine was making her sleepy despite her racing thoughts.
She and Emma had agreed that it would be best when they arrived in Storybrooke to head straight to the house. No, mansion. Henry said it was a mansion. If they were hungry, they would make a sandwich or order some take-out. Emma wanted to give Regina time to explore the house, to look through her things, to make herself comfortable, take a hot bath or do none of those things. Whatever she was ready for. It was sweet and very thoughtful of Emma to consider that she was overwhelmed and needed time to adjust.
Yawning again, Regina mentally added sweet and thoughtful to the list of things she knew about Emma.
There was an emotion or a mix of emotions in Regina that made her very introspective. A little self-analysis left her surprised. She felt fear, naturally. She felt anxiety. She felt excitement as well. But there was a tiny wisp of disappointment that she wasn't sure belonged. She had just been found. She had so much awaiting her in this life. But somehow she felt disappointed. But why?
Suddenly her mind filled with the image of an older woman. She was attractive, dark hair and a disturbing smile. The woman was dressed much as Regina had dreamed of herself being dressed in those odd dreams where she looked like a fairytale princess, wandering in the woods. This woman had on a full gown, her hair piled neatly atop her head.
"Really, Regina. Why must you make me do this every time? Why can't you just do as you are told? Mother knows best, dear." Cora smiled and her voice was sweet, but Regina knew her mother was more dangerous when she spoke like this than any other time.
"Mother, please… I… I'm sorry. I promise I'll do better. Please… Don't make me. I'll be good." A small girl with long dark curls and wearing a beautiful blue gown stood before the woman. Her gown was muddied and torn along the bottom hem. Her small voice was frightened as her eyes darted about for some deliverer… some savior to come to her rescue.
"Yes, I know you will do better because I am going to be sure you never forget this lesson." The woman made no move closer to the girl, but she felt icy cold hands grip her arms and propel her toward the stairs and a tiny door.
"Please, Mother!" The girl wailed now, no longer speaking softly. She was terrified. "Please don't. I'll be a good girl. I'll fix the dress. I'm sorry I went running with the other children when you told me to stay inside. Please… please… don't!"
The woman said nothing, only waved her hand and the door opened revealing a small, dark closet. The girl was shoved inside and the door closed tight behind her. She was trapped. With tiny fists, she beat against the door in the darkness. She hammered until her hands were bloodied and her face wet with tears, crying out for someone, anyone to help her… but no one came. Not even Daddy.
"Please, Blue Fairy, beautiful star, if you can really grant wishes, grant mine. Please take me away from here. Please help me." She murmured her wish as exhaustion overtook her small frame and she fell asleep. Her wish was never granted.
Emma glanced at Regina. The woman was leaning heavily against the cool glass of the car window and her even breathing said she had fallen asleep. Her face didn't bear the usual softness that Emma had seen sleep bring to her so many nights. Her brow was furrowed. Her lips drawn down in a frown.
The blonde wondered if she was dreaming. What do people with no memories dream about? Emma looked back to the road and drove on. They'd be crossing the town line in mere minutes. Would Regina's memories spontaneously return? Would she feel her magic again and freak out? The blonde hadn't considered that Regina would not regain her memories right away and would have her magic. Would she accidentally use the magic? Was that possible?
Emma made a mental note to ask Gold. He'd know what to expect.
The Sheriff searched for Henry in the rearview mirror. The kid was asleep too, his earbuds still in. He looked so peaceful. Emma was happy that he could finally relax with both his mother's on their way home together. A tiny sound to her right caught Emma's attention. Regina was whimpering in her sleep.
Perfect eyebrows were drawn now even tighter. Emma was concerned that the other woman was having a nightmare. She whimpered again, this time louder, and shook her head no. The blonde wondered if she should wake her or wait. Perhaps the dream would pass.
"Please…" The word was small and frightened, Regina's voice barely a whisper. Emma decided to take action.
"Regina." She touched the other woman's shoulder lightly. "Baby, wake up."
The brunette only continued to frown and whimper. "Help me…"
"Regina, it's ok. I'm here. Just wake up." Emma's hand ventured from the dark woman's shoulder to her face. The blonde gently stroked her cheek and murmured quietly, trying to wake her.
Ahead, Emma could see the Welcome to Storybrooke sign coming into view so she slowed and stopped the car. Still gently touching Regina's face, she called to her again to wake up and this time, chocolate brown eyes fluttered slowly open.
"Emma?" The woman's voice was soft and sleepy.
"Yes, it's me. You were having a nightmare." Emma continued to gently stroke the woman's cheek with her thumb, her fingers now finding dark hair.
If Regina noticed or minded this intimate and affectionate touch, she said nothing of it. She closed her eyes and tried to remember the dream. "There was an awful woman in a dark ball gown. She locked me in a closet for getting my own gown dirty. I was just a little girl, maybe five… or six. I called out for help, but no one came. She said she was my mother. Why would I dream such a horrible thing?"
Emma's heart began to race. Was Regina dreaming a memory? Henry had mentioned that Regina was dreaming things and that he'd been in one of them. This was a good sign, right?
"Shhhh. It's ok. I don't know why you dreamed that, but it's over now. And no one can hurt you again while I'm here." Emma's voice was soothing and quiet. For a moment, Regina allowed the tender hand to remain against her skin. She could almost forget that this woman was a stranger to her. "And look. We are home."
Regina looked up and saw a sign ahead reading Welcome to Storybrooke. She was finally going to see where she lived, where she worked and what kind of life she had with Henry and Emma. She sat up straight and Emma withdrew her hand. Regina cursed herself for missing it immediately. The blonde was sweet and thoughtful and making her feel things she wasn't sure she was ready to feel.
Shaking off the dream and the unexplained feeling of disappointment, Regina steadied her voice. This was it. "Alright. I'm ready. Let's go see this mansion of ours."
~ (SQ) ~
"She found her and they are on their way here! This wasn't the way this was supposed to go, Fairy." Hook swaggered angrily around Mother Superior's small office in the convent.
"Killian," she began in a voice that was somehow warm and threatening at once. "Please do have a seat. I prefer not to talk to you staggering around the room."
The pirate cast an incredulous eye to the woman before giving in and taking a seat across from her. His eyes widened and he gestured with his hand and his hook for her to continue.
"The goal of our plan was for Regina's memories to be erased and that has been done." Hook started to protest but stopped short as Blue held up a hand to him. "I realize you wish to regain the affection of our princess, but that was never a guaranteed outcome of our agreement."
"Oh, bloody hell! You know very well that was implied or I'd never have agreed to this. I was to remove Regina from the town and then Emma would come back to me. Now, Regina is on her way home even as we speak and Emma is even less interested in me than she was before." Hook slammed his fist down on the table.
"Mr. Jones… please, control yourself. I realize I am a woman of faith in this realm but I still maintain my powers and I am not above using them tonight." Blue smiles sweetly, a mismatched expression for her words. "The fact is, I have all of her majesty's memories and once I have destroyed the dreamcatcher they will be irrevocably lost. Don't you imagine it will be hard for her to continue living here, with all of these magical beings, without knowing she is one of us? Of course. She will either be forced to leave by council decree in order to protect us from exposure or she will be told by Emma who she really is. Now, what do you imagine will happen when she hears she is actually the Evil Queen from the tale on Snow White and that she banished us all here to live in misery? Hmmm?"
Killian frowned. He thought he knew the answer but he didn't like her condescending tone. She was mocking him and he was increasingly aware that perhaps helping him gain back his Swan was not her most basic motive. He ventured a guess despite his trepidation, lifting the end like a query rather than a certainty. "I suppose… I suppose she will think Emma mad?"
"Very good. Yes, she will think Emma is insane, just as Emma thought Henry or August were when they asserted the same to her when she arrived here. I'd say it will be hard for our dear Queen to remain with someone who is clearly delusional. And once she has likely stolen away in the night with Henry asleep in the back of her car, poor, sweet Emma will be heartbroken—"
"And then I can swoop in and comfort her. I think I see where you are headed." Hook rubbed his chin in thought. "But that still isn't guaranteed. And without one, I'm not sure I can go on keeping your secret… well, a secret." A renewed smugness fell across an already smug face as the pirate considered he had her cornered. He'd force her to use magic to make Emma come back to him. Blackmail! A pirate's life indeed.
Blue laughed darkly as she stood and walked around her desk. She leaned down to look Killian in the eyes and smiled. "There is but one guarantee in this scenario, Killian. I guarantee you that you will not tell anyone about our involvement."
"Aye? And how can you be so sure, love?"
"If you breathe a word of this to anyone… please tell me who will believe you? You are a pirate, already on probation in our fair city. You have been known to drink, to curse and to seduce innocents. You are an abuser and not only will Emma and David attest to that, so will Belle. You have openly spoken of your hatred for the Queen and…. If I recall correctly, were you not in the search party the day the fabric from Regina's suit was found? On the opposite side of town from where she went over the line? Dear, poor, stupid Killian. Who will believe you? I am a Sister of Mercy. I am a hero and wielder of light magic. I am a lifelong friend and confidant to the royal family. No. You will not blackmail me. It is I who am in the position of power tonight."
Blue straightened and leaned back on her desk. She smiled a saccharine grin down at the confused pirate. How had he been so blind as to trust this woman?
"And you call her majesty Evil." Hook willed the words through gritted teeth.
"Indeed. She is far worse than anything I could conjure. But, as I said, that is all in the past and as soon as I destroy the dreamcatcher… well, Regina Mills as we know her will cease to exist."
Mother Superior went to the door to her office to show Hook out but he made no move to follow her. She turned an irritable eye to him and cleared her throat. He ignored her.
"Why haven't you already disposed of that pesky item? It seems while I laid that witch in an alley you could easily have cast the memories into the fireplace. What are you about, love?"
Blue rolled her eyes and dropped her hand from the door knob. She questioned her decision to entangle herself with this buffoon but certainly, this opportunity to be rid of Regina once and for all was too perfect not to try. She took a seat once again across from the leather-clad man and spoke to him as one would a child.
"Killian, dear… I will try to explain this as best I can. I know you are not intimately familiar with the ways of magic but one cannot simply throw memories in a fire and be done with it. This is a very precise and deliberate spell. On the night of the first Wolf's Blood Moon—two weeks from now—I will perform an incantation over the dreamcatcher. Once that is done, I must snip each individual strand of the web free from the ring. Do you understand so far or shall I slow down?" Her voice was like honey but her eyes bore into his brain like lasers. She was not pleased with having to explain herself.
"I think I follow. Do go on." Hook replied with sarcasm.
"When the last thread is severed, I will then drop the entire web into the fire and shake the feathered ends across the smoke with another incantation. Once that is done… well, her memories will be forever lost. Storing memories, as Emma has before, is easy. Creating new ones, as Regina has before, is more difficult but not impossible obviously. But erasing them from existence? Well, that isn't something that is done every day… or every century for that matter." With that, she stood again and made her way to the door. Killian followed this time.
"One thing I still want to know, love."
Blue huffed and rolled her eyes. "Fine. One more question and then I must insist you leave here before someone sees you. What is it?"
"Why? Why go to all this trouble to destroy the Queen? What did she do to you?"
"Nothing. This isn't about what was done to me. My revenge is for what was done to my sister."
~ (SQ) ~
Regina Mills lay flat of her back in her very large bed, in her very large room, in her very large home staring at the ceiling. Henry hadn't been exaggerating. This house was a mansion and easily the largest on the street. It was a bit overwhelming.
When they had driven across the town line, a very strong wave of nausea had washed over her. Emma had immediately stopped the car at the brunette's groaning. She had stood on the roadside in the dark, clutching her stomach while Emma rubbed soothing circles onto her back. The urge to evacuate the contents of her stomach had passed rather quickly but she hadn't let on. She enjoyed the comforting touch of the other woman's hand.
Regina huffed into the darkness. She felt foolish. She knew she was meant to be Emma's lover and partner so perhaps she was willing herself to feel these things because subconsciously she knew they were normal and expected. Or maybe her memories were trying to surface through her growing interest in the blonde. Or perhaps it had been a minimum of six weeks, if not more, since she had experienced any sort of tender human touch and her body was naturally responding. That sounded reasonable. She was just responding to the attentions of a very attractive woman… blonde woman… with very long legs… in skinny jeans that framed her tight little ass—
Shit.
She didn't want to think about that. Not right now. Not lying in the bed they probably…
The brunette sighed again.
Once the sickness had gone on long enough, they had gotten back in the bug and driven on toward the town. Regina couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she felt different here. There was a warmth, a tingling, a sense of power thrumming in her veins since the initial nausea passed. Perhaps she was a bad-ass around town.
Driving through the town center, Emma had pointed out the Town Hall where Regina's office was located. She pointed out the Sheriff's Station, the library, and several businesses that seemed important. There was an old school diner and inn which apparently was a hub of activity for the town and a spot they frequented as a family.
"The owner is Granny Lucas. I don't know her real name. Everyone calls her Granny. Her granddaughter, Ruby, is the number one waitress and also a very good friend of mine." Emma had smiled and Regina had felt a ghost of jealousy at the sight.
You have no right to feel jealous, Regina.
Soon enough they were out of the business district, such as it was, and headed through residential streets. The houses became nicer, larger and in a moment they turned right onto Mifflin Street. All the homes were nice with well-manicured lawns. Emma had indicated a house on the left with a nod of her head.
"There. That is your house. 108 Mifflin."
Regina had gasped. The house was beautiful and large. It bordered on vulgar in comparison to the other homes she had seen in town. She wondered what her memory-bearing self was trying to prove with such a home. Was she trying to show off? Was she over-compensating for some short-coming or emptiness in her life?
Regina looked at the other two passengers in the car and thought surely that couldn't be true. She seemed to have it all. A nice home, a good job, a son and… Emma.
Emma had shaken Henry gently to rouse him from his sleep. The boy had smiled seeing the house before him and had gathered up his things. Making a dash for the front steps he'd looked back with a beaming smile.
"We're home! This is great!" He'd jogged the remaining few feet to the door and turned back again. "Just so you know, I'm starving and I need something to eat soon or I might die right here on the porch."
"Is he always so dramatic?" Regina asked, reaching for her small bag. Emma swatted her hand away and took the bag up with her own.
"Oh, yeah. Sometimes he is much worse. Kid has a great imagination." The two women walked toward the house to meet Henry waiting on the steps.
"Hmmm. Perhaps you will be an author someday." Regina said with a smile to her son. She didn't notice the look that passed between blonde mother and son nor did she realize what she had said. Henry wouldn't be an author. He was the Author.
The trio entered the house and there wasn't a light on in the place. Emma hadn't anticipated arriving home in the night. As she fumbled for the light switch, Regina's mind filled with a memory of the darkened room.
"No." Emma whispered. "Leave it."
"Alright." Regina's voice was as soft as the moonlight kissing her dark hair.
Emma made a tentative step toward the brunette. Even in the dim light, there was an intensity in green eyes that took Regina's breath away. She couldn't stop the tremor that passed through her.
"Emma…" She spoke, the name a question and an answer at once.
"Shhh…" The blonde soothed, her pale fingers sliding gently across Regina's cheek.
Regina's eyes fell closed at the sensation. Emma's fingers were warm against her skin that had so recently been pinked by the cool air of the night. The fingers curved along her cheek, under her jaw and finally beneath her chin. Emma gently nudged her face up to look at her.
Brown eyes opened to a sea of green gazing back at her. For a moment she lost herself there. She couldn't remember if she had ever seen so much love and longing from anyone before. No. Never. Emma's eyes seemed to search her soul, probing deeply into her secret self, shining a light in the hidden places, claiming them.
With her hand still cupping Regina's chin, her thumb pulled down gently across Regina's lips. Pressing down along her chin, full lips parted slightly and Emma leaned forward to kiss her. Their lips had barely met before Emma's tongue brushed across Regina's bottom lip. The action sent a wave of heat through the former queen.
"There we go! Light." Emma smiled proudly at the brunette who seemed to be lost in thought. "Hey. Regina? You ok?"
Color bloomed across her olive skin as the weight of the memory held her. "Yes… I… I'm fine. Just a bit overwhelmed by… everything."
Emma's lie detector pinged. Regina was overwhelmed but that wasn't what caused her pupils to dilate and her cheeks to pink. "Are you sure? Did you remember something?"
Regina's dark eyes widened. How could she possibly know that? "No. I'm fine. Really. My but you have a lovely home."
Henry and Emma chuckled together as the boy jogged up the stairs with his satchel around his neck and both his mother's bags in his hands. "We have a lovely home. This is your house too, you know. And you decorated it and picked out everything in it so if you like it it's because… well, because you liked it."
Regina blushed again, this time from embarrassment. It would be hard to accept that this place was an extension of her. But at first glance, she like what she saw. It was clean, a mix of modern and traditional. She like the neutral color palette and the quality of the furnishings. And she was only in the foyer. Before she could articulate a response, Emma spoke again.
"So, I thought maybe while the kid unpacks and checks in with his friends, I would make us some dinner and you could just explore. I read that when you buy a puppy you should let them just check out the house at their own pace so they fell safe—"
"Miss Swan… are you comparing me to a puppy?" Regina's voice sounded for the first time like the mayor Emma met all those years ago and the use of her old moniker was surprisingly sexy.
"Um, no. Not comparing you to a puppy. I just thought maybe you would feel more comfortable too if you could just… look around without anyone hounding you." Emma grinned a self-satisfied grin at her horrible pun.
Regina groaned. "Did you really just say that?"
Emma wiggled her brows. "Yep."
"Well, I suppose I can mark witty repartee off the list of things that made me fall in love with you, dear." Regina sassed, following the woman into the kitchen.
"Oh! You wound me!" Emma fell dramatically against the island holding her hands over her heart.
Regina tried to stifle the laugh this action drew from her. Before she knew what she was saying, she went on. "But don't worry, that just bumped up hot body to the top of my list."
Emma's face flushed red and her mouth dropped open. Regina gasped at her own words. "Oh. Miss Swan… Emma. I'm sorry. That was very inappropriate of me to—"
"Hey, hey. It's ok. That was actually very appropriate. In fact, that is the sort of things we would say to each other… before." Emma smiled shyly.
"Oh. I see. Well, being here must be helping with my memory loss because I am not usually so forward… or trusting. At least, not in the six weeks I can remember." The brunette walked over to the cabinet by the sink and pulled out a pair of wine glasses as she spoke. "Indeed, I feel what I'd call an unusual and I hope not unwarranted trust in both you and Henry in our short time together."
Emma watched dumbstruck as Regina walked with purpose to the wine cooler and pulled out a bottle. Her hand reached into a specific drawer and pulled out the corkscrew. As she poured them both a glass of wine, the brunette finally noticed Emma's shocked gaze.
"What?" Regina asked, taking a sip.
"Um, nothing really. You just moved through this kitchen like you knew where everything was." Emma shrugged.
Regina looked down at the glass in her hand like it was some alien creature bursting from beneath her skin. She sat it down shakily and looked back at Emma, brown eyes full of questions.
"Probably like muscle memory. You are back in your home and your body just sort of knows what to do. That's a good sign, I think. I'll ask Dr. Hopper. He probably know more about it than anyone." Emma placed a firm hand on top of Regina's shaking one.
"Who is Dr. Hopper?" The brunette said, removing her hand and taking another sip of the wine she had poured.
"He's a friend and also happens to be a psychiatrist in town. He sorta specializes in memory issues." The blonde was proud of her ability to reword things in a way that was honest and yet not really clear. Maybe she should write resumes on the side for extra cash.
"Psychiatrist? Well, I guess he would be able to help us… well, me." Regina watched as Emma opened the pantry and cabinets, eyeing the contents for something to prepare.
"No, you said it right the first time. He should be able to help us." Emma sighed, closing another cabinet with ingredients she wasn't sure she could craft into a meal. "Listen, I've got to confess, other than grilled cheese and mac & cheese and maybe a cheese omelet, I don't know how to cook. Would you be devastated if I ordered a pizza? I'm sure there are salad makings in the fridge so we can all get in our veggies."
Regina cocked her head. "Pizza sounds fine. I take it I am a health nut?" Emma nodded her agreement. "But I find it hard to believe you can't cook."
"Well," Emma began. She wasn't sure this was the best time to bring this up. "I do know how to make chicken and rice soup. You taught me."
"Mmmm, that sounds great. But you don't want to make it tonight?" Regina asked, easing onto a stool at the island while Emma pulled out a menu from the drawer under the phone to order the pizza.
"Actually, I think we should save that for another time." Emma's cheeks pinked at the memory of Regina's lesson on simmering. She wondered if the brunette would ever remember that night again.
After the pizza had been eaten, the leftovers put away and the dishes loaded into the dishwasher, Henry had hugged both his mothers (Emma with gusto, Regina more timidly) and said goodnight. It had been a long and eventful few weeks and the kid likely hadn't slept well during the whole ordeal. His bedroom door had closed with a click and the two women had once again been alone.
Emma was determined to help Regina feel at ease as best she could. So she wasn't pushing her. She didn't try to tell her anything unless Regina asked. She didn't crowd her or insist on showing her around. They sat quietly in the study, on opposite sofas in silence for several long moments before Regina gained the courage to address something weighing on her mind.
"So, what are the sleeping arrangements? I don't want to put you out of your bed. I won't know the difference anyway. Is there a guest room?" She sipped the cider Emma had poured her. It was surreal to think this was a beverage she had crafted from apples she grew herself.
"There is a guest room but I will be sleeping in it. I have slept there many times before. You need to sleep in your own bed. Maybe it will help you remember." The blonde had pulled off her boots and folded her legs under her on the sofa across from Regina.
Regina filed away the idea that Emma had been sleeping in the guest room. She was beginning to wonder just how happy they really were together. "Well, I think after this day I may like to have a hot bath and then go to bed. What is on our agenda for tomorrow?"
Emma shrugged. "I thought we could play it by ear. Henry will go to school—no matter how much he protests—but I will stay here with you. If you want, we can drive around town in the day light or visit your office. But if it is too soon for that, we can stay here. You might like looking through your clothes and old pictures and things."
"I don't think I am ready to go out yet. But, looking at pictures sounds like a good idea. And you… will you call the doctor you mentioned and see if my muscle memory is a good thing?" The dark woman didn't want to push but she felt like she could with Emma.
"Yeah, sure. I will talk to him. And we will stay home. I will probably need to go to the grocery though. We need food and I can't imagine you will allow pizza a second night." Emma grinned broadly at the other woman.
"Allow it? Do you mean to say that what I want matters?" Regina's voice was laced with vulnerability. She genuinely didn't know her place and it was frightening.
"Of course it does. So, if you have anything special you want from the store, just say the word. Now, if you want a bath, I am going to make some calls before bed. Do you remember where your room is?" Henry had taken Regina on a quick tour that had abruptly ended when the doorbell rang announcing the arrival of their dinner.
Regina stood and nodded that she did indeed know where the room was. "Goodnight Emma. And thank you for… well, for finding me and for bringing me here."
Emma shook her head to acknowledge the words. "You're welcome. Goodnight Regina."
Now, having soaked in the bath until her fingers were wrinkled and then snooping through her own closet and dresser drawers, Regina had been lying here in the darkness, staring at the ceiling for hours. She just could get to sleep.
Enough. I'm need a drink.
Quietly, Regina rose from her bed and slipped on the gray silk robe she had found in the bathroom. She stuck her feet in her slippers and moved like a cat to the bedroom door. The last thing she wanted to do was bother Emma or Henry. She would go down to the study and have another tumbler of the cider. She would sit on the sofa—her sofa—and calm her nerves by reading one of the many books she'd seen in the room. And maybe, she would feel ready to fall asleep.
Walking on tip toes seemed to be the quietest mode of transportation tonight. She was near silent as she went along toward the study door in the darkness. A sliver of light shone out from the room as the door was slightly ajar but there was no sound. The brunette paused a moment and listened to be sure. Silence greeted her so she went in.
"Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't think anyone was in here." Regina was surprised to see Emma sitting on one of the twin sofas rolling a tumbler of cider between her hands.
"Don't apologize. This is your house, your study… hell, I'm drinking your cider. I should apologize, not you." Emma stood and steadied herself for a moment. It appeared she'd had more than a few trips to the sidebar though she was more tipsy than drunk. "Come in. I'll go back upstairs."
"No." Regina held up a hand. "Would you… just… would you just stay with me? I couldn't sleep and I admit this is all a bit overwhelming. Please. Sit."
Emma dropped back on the sofa and watched the brunette make her way to the bar. She poured a glass of the cider for herself before looking back at Emma with a shy smile. She held the decanter up to offer Emma another drink but the blonde shook her head no. She'd had enough.
The dark woman moved toward the other sofa but stopped short as if contemplating and made her way to the fireplace instead, examining the pictures along the mantle. They were mostly shots of Henry in various stages of his life. Regina frowned looking at them. Emma wasn't in any of them.
"Why aren't you in any of the pictures?"
"I'm in the family gallery you created along the stairs. Actually, those pictures you hung just hours before you went missing." Emma stood and walked over to the place Regina stood. The brunette was running a finger across her own face in a photograph. She was holding a three year old Henry in her lap and they were both smiling for the camera. It seemed to be a formal studio shot, although several others were more candid snapshots from birthday parties and Christmas mornings.
"I saw those. We certainly look happy in them."
"We were happy in them. In fact, we were both happier than we have ever been. We were… no, we are in love—deeply in love—and we finally had everything we wanted when those pictures were taken."
Regina's skin flushed at Emma's direct words. "But why…why not in these photos of Henry as a boy? I don't understand our dynamic I suppose. We are together and we share a teenage son yet you are not in any of the photos from his early childhood and you said we were not on good terms when you were elected sheriff. Why? Will you tell me about it? About us?" Regina's brown eyes searched Emma's green and there was nothing the blonde would deny her. The savior took the queen's hand and led her back to the sofa.
"It's…"
"Complicated. Yes. So you've said." Regina finished for her. "But please, try."
Emma sighed and leaned back into the couch. "I guess the best way to tell you this is to just be honest. I hope you will listen and try to understand. The most important thing is to remember… I love you. We love you. And I know this is going to be ok… eventually."
Emma looked with love and longing at the other woman. It was easy to plow ahead in the light of day, just being happy to have her here and not thinking about the difficult days that surely were ahead of them. But now, in the darkness, the six weeks of separation were finally showing in the blonde. She missed Regina and having her physically present without being mentally aware was difficult. She didn't want to talk about the past. No. What she wanted was to kiss her, to touch her, to carry her upstairs and make good use of the silencing spell they'd cast over the bedroom. Her body had been on high alert for weeks, standing guard and searching for Regina in every crowd. But now, she was here and all Emma wanted was to taste her kisses, taste her skin, taste her most secret places and know that everything was going to be alright.
Regina saw something pass across Emma's face that made a warmth in her chest. She didn't name it to herself but she knew what it was. The blonde desired her. A thought raced through her mind of how difficult it must be for Emma to sit with her and talk like this. The whole situation was hard for them all of course but for Emma to have the object of her desire so close and yet so far away. Regina contemplated stopping this and slipping back to her bedroom but there were things she needed to know. Questions she wanted answers to.
"Please, Emma. I won't judge you or what you tell me about myself. I just want to understand. I didn't ask too many questions in front of your son—"
"Our son."
"Right. Sorry. Our son. I didn't ask questions in front of him because I didn't want to upset him. He seemed so thrilled to be with me… I just… I couldn't take that from him with questions." Regina sat aside her tumbler of cider and leaded back into the couch with Emma, curling her legs under her and facing the blonde. She didn't speak anymore, but her eyes begged for answers.
"Ok. So, the short version is I got into some trouble when I was younger. I was in jail for something I technically didn't do. I found out I was pregnant and Henry's father was the man who let me take the fall for his crime. I was barely eighteen and I was not prepared to be a mother so I gave Henry up for adoption. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do, but I wanted him to have his best chance." Emma watched Regina closely, trying to gauge her reaction so far.
Brown eyes were blank and gave nothing away so Emma went on. "As fate would have it, you were trying to adopt at the time and you obviously became Henry's mom. You raised him here for the first ten years of his life. That's why I'm not in the pictures until later."
"So, you came looking for him and we met?"
"Actually, no. I was living in Boston and Henry found out he was adopted. It was traumatic I guess for him to learn this and at the time you were going through a rough phase with him. He was a sneaky little shit back then and he stole his teacher's credit card and found me on some website. He ran away from home and came to Boston. I, of course, brought him home that same day. I knew any parent he had must've been freaking out with worry and you were. I'll never forget how you looked running out the front door in this gray dress, tears in your eyes. You were so damn beautiful." Emma smiled, remembering her first impression of the other woman. Regina grinned shyly at the blonde's description of her.
Emma went on. "At first, you seemed nice enough but I think you were afraid I was going to try to take Henry away from you so you came on pretty strong with the power trip thing. You wanted me out of your town. We did not get along at all. We had this whole tug-o-war going on where you'd do something shitty to me and then I would do something to you. I stayed in town initially just to piss you off. But then I wondered if you were a good mom or not because you were so mean to me. And Henry was so mad at you all the time."
The words settled over Regina and she stopped smiling. "Was I as bad as all that? I'm sorry, Emma."
"No, don't apologize. You had your reasons. And you changed. We both did. Besides, Henry got over his issues and things worked out. I ran for sheriff and won. Then we had to play nice at work. It was awful and wonderful all at once. See, even though we said we hated each other… even then we felt this connection. We would seek each other out just to be bitchy. But we were seeking each other out when we could just as easily have stayed away."
"So, how did we end up here, in this house, together?" Regina's fingers were toying with the hem of Emma's shirt although the brunette seemed unaware of the action.
"Um… well… I was dating this guy, Killian. And you and I were best friends. I mean like ridiculous cliché besties. We ate lunch together every Friday no matter what. We would sit in your office for hours and just talk and cuddle on the couch. We had dinner together during the week, family movie nights, just… we spent a lot of time together. But I didn't know there was anything else going on besides the best friendship I'd ever had. I guess I had convinced myself you would never be interested in me. But I got engaged—"
"Engaged?!" Regina's voice was shocked and strained and for some reason a white hot bolt of jealousy shot through her. She was aware this was an odd reaction to the admission of a perfect stranger that she had been ready to marry someone else. However, she was unable to stop it from rising in her.
"Yeah." Emma chuckled. She saw the color in Regina's cheeks. She knew the look of jealousy in her wide eyes and flared nostrils. "And when I told you, you internally reacted just like you are now."
Regina's mouth dropped open. "And just how is that, Miss Swan?"
Emma laughed fully now. "Oh, I don't know, Regina. Maybe like you wanted to kill someone."
Regina began to laugh too. There was no sense in denying it. Clearly this woman could read her like a book even without her memories. "Oh, shut up. Tell me the rest of the story."
A crooked grin spread across soft pink lips. Emma was enjoying this glimpse of her Regina peeking through. "All right. All right. You internalized your jealousy and your heartbreak and never told me. But after a lot of crazy shit happened, you finally had this moment where you said screw it, I'm not gonna sit here and let that idiot pirate—"
Emma's words died in her mouth and her eyes grew wide. What had she just said?
"Pirate?" Regina looked at her in confusion.
"Yeah, no. I… um… you called him a pirate because he lives on a boat. And um…" Emma floundered trying to cover her mistake.
"I dreamt of a pirate two nights ago. He was carrying me down some stairs and—"
"What?! He was carrying you? Oh my god! What if that was a memory of him taking you?" Emma grabbed both of Regina's hands. "Think, baby. Think. What else happened in the dream?"
Regina felt the pressure to perform and couldn't speak for a moment. The dream was silly. What on earth would a pirate have to do with her losing her memories?
"I don't think it is important, Emma. I just dreamed of a man in leather… oh, for goodness sake it can't be real. He had a hook hand! It was just a dream." Regina looked pleadingly at the other woman. She didn't want to upset her but the dream was just a dream.
"Regina, please. Tell me what happened. All that you can remember." Emma's grip on her hands tightened.
"Ok, ok. I was lying on the floor. The pirate was standing over me. He had on leather and boots and ridiculous eyeliner. He had a hook for a hand. He picked me up and carried me down some stairs and that's it."
Emma stood and pulled out her phone, dialing a number quickly. "Are you sure? Nothing else?"
"Well, nothing important. Emma, what's going on? This is all so silly. It was a dream." Regina stood now too and placed a hand on the blonde's arm.
"What else, Regina. It's all important." Emma held up a hand. Someone had answered her late night call. "Dad? It's Killian. He took her. She dreamed of a pirate with a hook hand taking her. Yeah. Pick him up. Tonight. I'll be right there."
Emma hit end and there were nearly visible waves of rage rolling off her body. She was mad enough to kill and Regina felt simultaneously afraid and protected. But confusion won the battle for her immediate attention.
"Emma? What is this? It was just a dream. I mean, so I saw a pirate. That doesn't mean this person I called pirate before did anything to me. Besides, I saw a nun in my dream too. Are you going to arrest a sister of mercy?"
Emma's face went white and her phone fell to the floor, slipping from her hands. "That shady bitch…"
Before Regina could say anything else, Emma disappeared from her sight in a cloud of blue-gray smoke.
Regina could only stand with her mouth agape. What the hell just happened? And where was Emma?