AN: Sorry for the delay. I'm away from home for a few days and have not been able to get online... This was my first chance to update.
Kensi turns on instinct. Her heart thuds heavily against her chest, because the man Callen thought was watching them, is actually watching her.
Marty is standing alone, about fifty feet from the team. He's dressed in a dark suit. He looks uncertain, but determined. He meets her eyes and begins to move toward her.
She moves towards him without conscious thought and meets him halfway.
She begins to lift her arms. All she wants is to hug him and feel his arms around her, but she hesitates. He hesitates, too. They stare at each other.
"You're here," she whispers.
He nods. "I am. I'm sorry I haven't been here for you this week. I couldn't…" He trails off and runs a hand through his hair. "It was a lot to process."
She swallows hard. "I thought it was too much for you."
He tries to offer her a smile, but it falls flat. He looks both uncertain and guilty.
She hates the guilt in his eyes, and she hates herself for making him feel guilty.
He takes a deep breath and releases it slowly. "It's a lot," he repeats. "But you were right. I promised to accept you. I promised nothing would change my mind about you."
She shakes her head. She wants a hug so badly, but she doesn't want him with her out of obligation. She had begged him to accept her, and she had used his own words against him. It wasn't fair then, and it's not fair now.
"Marty, I love that you're here," she tells him. She reaches towards him, but hesitates before touching him. "But my life is so much more than you could have foreseen when you said those things to me. I should never have used them against you. I'm not holding you to them."
He moves forward, taking the step she couldn't. His hands find hers. "Kens, you don't understand. I want to be here with you." He shifts both of her hands into one of his. His free hand reaches up to brush her hair behind her ear. "I love you, Kensi Marie Blye. Nothing is going to change that."
Kensi pulls her hands from his and quickly wraps her arms around him. He hugs her back just as fast. And for the first time all week, she feels like the world isn't spinning too fast.
"I love you, too." She closes her eyes and breathes against him as he holds her tight. "I'm so glad you're here."
"Me, too."
People begin to shuffle past them, letting them know the service will be starting shortly.
Kensi pulls back from the hug and offers Marty a grateful smile.
He pecks her on the lips. "I'm so sorry about your partner."
She nods. "Thank you."
He stares at her and breathes for a moment. "I know we have a lot to talk about. But I want to make this work. And I want to be here with you. I'm so sorry that I haven't been here this week."
"It's okay," she assures him. She reaches her hand up to cup his jaw. "Please don't feel sorry for not being here. It's not your fault. You couldn't have known…"
"I appreciate that," he tells her softly. "But I'm still sorry you've been alone."
"You're here now." Her voice catches and her eyes sting. "Thank you for being here now."
He reaches for her hand. "I want to be here for the good and the bad."
Kensi takes a deep, steadying breath as she takes in his expression. He looks so sure of his choices; so sure of her. It makes her feel both overwhelmed and strong that he is taking such a leap of faith for her. This is the first time in her life that a man knows nearly this much about her and still wants to be with her. "Me, too," she whispers. She squeezes his hand.
He squeezes back.
Kensi takes another breath. She feels steadier than she has in days. She loves Marty for joining her. "We have a lot to talk about."
He nods, not shying away from the topic. "We do. But we can talk when there's a better time."
"Okay." She nods. "I want to talk, Marty. I want you to know everything."
He squeezes her hand again. "I want that, too." He nods towards the seats set up for the service. The service is getting closer and the chairs are filling up. "Later."
"Later," she agrees.
She glances over her shoulder, unsurprised to find her team waiting for her. She turns back to Marty. "You want to meet my team?"
He nods. "Yeah."
They only have a few minutes before the service starts, so introductions are quick.
Kensi introduces Marty to the team for the first time, and smiles as he shakes everyone's hand. Callen is as neutral as ever, and Sam glances uncertainly at Marty's hair. Nate is friendly as his eyes take in as many details as he can. He sends Kensi an approving smile.
Eric and Nell are both friendly and more obvious in their curiosity about him.
When all the introductions are finished, the team follows the rest of the crowd and take their seats.
Kensi holds tight to Marty's hands through most of the service. She tries to fight back tears, but eventually lets them silently stream down her cheeks. Marty surprises her when he pulls his hand away from hers. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a small package of tissues. She smiles at the gesture and nods her head in thanks.
She dries her cheeks, and manages to mostly cry herself out before she is called to the small podium. Renko's brother had done the official eulogy, but Renko had had a rich life, and others wanted to talk as well; a high school friend spoke of the trouble they had gotten into in their teens, and an LAPD detective whose life he had saved alluded to a story about a police horse that had the small group of cops in attendance laughing. Callen and Sam laughed, too.
Kensi, as his partner, is representing NCIS.
The podium is small, and just elevated enough to allow Kensi to view all the mourners. She takes her place facing the crowd, standing with several photos of Renko.
To her left is Renko's official NCIS ID photo. He looks serious and determined. Next to it is a photo of him with his parents at some sort of celebration. He's smiling, one arm around each parent. To her right is a photo of him and his buddies in high school. Next to it is just a simple photo of the Renko she knew; confident and happy, smiling at the camera.
She clears her throat and addresses the crowd. "Mike Renko was a great man, a great friend, and a great agent. I should know. He was my partner." The crowd murmurs and she pauses for a moment. She doesn't offer her own name, knowing she needs to keep some anonymity.
"He was a really good partner. He always had my back. And he always came through. But more than that, he was able to do what we do and still see the world in such a positive light. He always saw the good, and always thought things could get better." The crown murmurs again, and she sees many people nodding their agreement. "He loved helping people. And he loved this country. And he loved his job."
She takes a breath, and then continues.
"I was there…when he got shot. We were talking, and he was joking with me. He was laughing. He was happy." Her eyes well and she breaks off for a moment. "That is how he would want to be remembered." She glances to her right at the smiling photo of her late-partner. She recalls the shock of realizing he had been shot. She recalls with great clarity standing outside his hospital room as the doctors and nurses fought hard to save his life.
She remembers the shock of realizing he wasn't going to make it.
She recalls the team's grief and recklessness in the wake of Renko's death. She remembers what she had said to Sam while they stood together outside of the fiery building they had narrowly escaped. In that moment of near-death, she hadn't regretted her own mortality.
What had been most important to her in that moment, was knowing her loved one understood.
"He'd also want everyone to know that he doesn't have regrets. He believed in what we do." She pauses for a breath. Her team and Marty are too far away to make eye contact, but she lands her eyes on Marty. "What we do isn't always glamorous. We see a lot of the bad this world has to offer. But we fight back against it. It's not just a job. It's who we are." Her eyes drift over the crowd towards Renko's family. "Renko made a difference. He saved lives. He had our backs and he saved our lives. He was a hero." She pauses and swallows hard. "He is a hero. And we'll never forget him."
She finishes her speech and returns back to her seat between Marty and Nate. Marty hooks his arm around her waist in support. He pulls her close.
Nate offers her a soft smile. She smiles back and then closes her eyes as she feels Marty press a kiss to her temple. She's not normally one to display affection in front of others, especially her team, but she's so grateful for Marty's presence that she doesn't care right now.
The service ends and the team releases a collective sigh as they say a final goodbye to Renko.
They say nothing as they walk back to the parking area together. Kensi reaches for Marty's hand as he walks supportively beside her.
They reach the end of the path and come to a stop.
"Well, I need a drink," Callen announces. It's both statement and question.
Beside him, Sam nods. "Me, too."
"I think we could all use a drink," Nate adds. "And that's my professional opinion."
Eric and Nell agree to drinks.
Callen looks towards Kensi.
Kensi meets Marty's eyes and then looks back to Callen. "I'll pass." She squeezes Marty's hand. "We have some things to talk about."
The team leaves quickly, and Kensi turns to meets Marty's eyes.
"I don't mind if you want to go out with your team," Marty says. "I'll even go with you…if that's something you want."
She smiles at him. "I'd love for you to get to know them," she tells him. "And in a happier time, we'll make that happen. Right now, I really want to just be with you."
"I want that, too."
She takes a breath and then feels the familiar sting in her eyes again. "I'm so glad you came, Marty. Thank you. For being here."
He steps forward and presses a kiss to her cheek. "Please stop thanking me," he whispers. "I want to be here. I want to be with you." He rests his forehead against hers. "I missed you."
Kensi squeezes his hands and presses back against his forehead. "I missed you," she echoes.
He hums under his breath. "Why don't you let me take you home and make you dinner?"
She pulls away far enough to meet his eyes.
He cocks his head. "Okay, how about you let me take you home and order us some dinner?" He raises an eyebrow. "Unless you want frittatas for dinner?"
She almost laughs. She nods, grateful for the joke. She's also grateful for the offer. But as much as she wants to fall back into the life she was living with Marty before the previous week, she has lived the consequences of putting off conversations. "Dinner sounds great, but we need to talk."
"We can talk later," he waves off.
She reaches a hand to cup his cheek. "I love you for meaning that," she tells him. "We need to talk now. I've put it off long enough."
He stares into her eyes for a long moment. "Okay."
She reaches up on her tiptoes and kisses him quickly. "Thank you for being so amazing."
He surprised her when he smirks. "Being amazing comes naturally to me."
This time she does laugh.
He laughs as well, his eyes sparkling.
Kensi stares into his eyes for along moment and feels a swell of emotion in her chest. In this moment, she truly believes everything will work out.
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah, I think so." She turns her head and stares back in the direction of the memorial service. She closes her eyes and says a silent goodbye to her partner. She turns back to Marty, grateful she is following her partner's advice. "Let's go."