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It is very early in the morning, Lucy's bags are already packed and she's already dressed- ready to go home. She sits on the queen size bed of the lavish inn that they have been staying for for the past whole week, waiting for the judge and the beadle to tell her that they are leaving.
Moments later, she hears a knock on the door and it is followed by the beadle's voice calling for her. "Mrs. Barker, we're leaving."
She quickly stands up and grabs all her bags which are lying on the floor. She scans the room to check if there are any forgotten things that she is not able to put in her bag and there is none- everything is intact. She walks towards the door and opens it to see the Beadle waiting for her. She smiles at him as he takes her bag from her to carry it for her. They walk through the corridors to the stairs, going down. They see the Judge already waiting for them.
Judge Turpin greets them with a smile; he offers his hand for Lucy to take and escorts her outside- where the carriage is already waiting. The judge lets Lucy climb in the carriage first, and then after Lucy is settled, he follows, then the beadle. They take off, going back to London.
On their way home, Lucy cannot help but think of Judge Turpin. In the whole week that they are together, he has been really nice to her. she expected that the whole time she will spend with the judge and the beadle will all be dedicated for work- she is wrong. The three of them managed to go to the park, eat at a fancy restaurant and attend a party where they danced all night.
Lucy finds it hard not to like Judge Turpin- as a friend. He treats her like Benjamin does. He is a very gentleman and a very caring person. He always fusses about her- asking her if she has eaten already, if she did get enough sleep, if she's tired. He is always concerned for her well being- just like her Ben. She can say that they are somehow similar; but there is something about the Judge that differentiate him from her husband- Judge Turpin is a lot more manly and aggressive, in a way, and Ben is gentle and child like.
The more days Lucy spends with the Judge, the more she gets to know him. The more she gets to know him, the more she gets fond of him. He is the only man that she is comfortable with, other than her husband. Because she firmly believes that Judge Turpin can be trusted- he wouldn't do her any wrong. Though she's not sure with Beadle Bamford, there's something about him that unsettles her.
Beadle Bamford is a dangerous man- Lucy thinks. Whenever he is around, she always feels like he is watching her every move. She feels uncomfortable around him. Especially when she sees his smile- more like a grin- it is an I-know-something-that-you-don't smile. And the way he looks at her, how he openly stares at her and her form- it makes her shiver.
The long ride back home makes Lucy feel sleepy- plus the fact that she has to wake up very early to prepare her things. They also have to travel early in the morning because if they leave in the afternoon they will return to London late at night- which they are avoiding because it is too dangerous to travel at night.
She leans her forehead on the small window of the carriage to catch some rest, but the road is rough and she just ends up banging her head on the window. Judge Turpin notices this; he guides Lucy's head so that she is leaning on his shoulder. Lucy makes no protest, she closes her eyes- thankful to the judge- and she drifts off to sleep.
Benjamin wakes up with a stiff neck and a sore back. Feeling an empty side beside him, he immediately looks at the spot where Mrs. Lovett is last night, but she's not there. He sighs as he rubs his lower back, hoping to ease the pain. He is about to stand up and find Mrs. Lovett but he thought better of it. He needs to think- think about what's going on between them.
He fully lies down the sofa; resting his head on the armrest. He sighs in relief as his body stretches. He crosses his arm in front him and begins pondering about what happened last night. He does not know why he did it, but he's not going to deny the fact that he liked it.
There's something that he felt that he cannot explain when their lips met- it's like being struck by a lightning and your whole body shivers, but not in pain but in delight. The feeling is indescribable. Their kiss is like magic- you do not know what's happening or if it's even real. It's like your mind is playing tricks on you but, you can feel it- the amazement, the wonderment, and the feeling of being blown away. And just like what happened always in the end of the trick, when the magic is over you feel lost- that you don't have a clue of what you just witnessed but at the same time you feel happy- happy that you were able to experience it.
It is like that with Mrs. Lovett- he does not know what to think or what to do with her. He knows what they did is wrong and that he should regret it but he doesn't. Besides, Lucy wouldn't find out about it unless he or Mrs. Lovett tells it to her. And his wife also has secrets that she doesn't tell him- going out with the judge and the beadle without him knowing, so it's only fair.
Ben abruptly sits up; he tugs his hair and growls in frustration. He should not be thinking like that. Lucy is very special to him- he loves her and she does not deserve what he's doing to her. He's cheating. First he got Mrs. Lovett pregnant and now he kissed her without even feeling remorse. What he's doing is wrong and he has to stop, before Lucy finds out- but how?
First, he thinks, he should tell Mrs. Lovett to dismiss about what happened last night. It would be better if they both forget it. Second, he will make it clear to her that the kiss means nothing. He just wants to make sure that Mrs. Lovett understands that. But knowing Mrs. Lovett, he's sure that it also means nothing to her. Besides, she's the one who said that they just got carried away. Lastly, maybe he should avoid her-to stop unnecessary things to happen again. Once is enough, it shall never happen again.
Lucy wakes up to the feeling of someone shaking her. When she opens her eyes, she sees the judge gently shaking her awake. She stifles a yawn and sits up, straightening her dress. She looks out the window and sees that the carriage is not moving. The streets outside are unfamiliar- they are not yet home.
She wonders why they stopped. She turns to Judge Turpin, a frown etched on her face. "Why did we stop? Is there a problem?" she asks in concern.
The Judge chuckles "No, my dear. We are going to eat. I'm hungry and I think you are too, am I right?" as if on cue, Lucy's stomach rumbles, causing her cheeks to turn a shade of red in embarrassment.
"I take that as a yes." The judge says, he smiles at her and begins to climb out of the carriage. The beadle is already outside, waiting impatiently for his companions. Lucy follows the judge; she steps out of the carriage with Judge Turpin helping her. They enter in a small tavern where they also serve food.
It is still early so there are only few people inside- those who are also taking their breakfast and those who failed to go home last night because of drunkenness. They take a seat near the counter; the waiter immediately approaches them. They order their desired food and when they are done, the waiter leaves.
"I really do hope that you'll continue to work for me, Mrs. Barker." Judge Turpin says. He is sitting beside Lucy, looking at her with pleading eyes- while the Beadle is seated across them, a sickly sweet smile planted on his face as he looks at her.
Lucy and Judge Turpin had an agreement that she will know first if she can handle the job that has been assigned to her before she fully applies to it- for the reason that she has no real experience about working. That leads to her going on a one week business trip with Judge Turpin and Beadle Bamford.
"I am still undecided, sir. But I assure you that I will let you know immediately of my decision." Lucy says, smiling politely.
The Judge sighs, looking crestfallen. "If you still think that you can't handle the job, Mrs. Barker, then I can assure you that you did well." He says, with a hint of desperation in his voice. He really wants to work with Lucy, he likes her- ever since the day he first saw her- and it grows even stronger these past few days that they are together. So, accepting the job means he'll get to spend more time with her and he likes that. Besides, he can tell that she has also grown fond of him- he cannot explain how, but he knows she has.
"You are too kind, sir." Is all she says; she's not sure if she believes him or not. But really, she also thinks that she did well.
The judge looks like he's going to say something to her again but is unable to continue when the waiter arrives, bringing their food. They start eating, without speaking with each other. They need to hurry up, if they do not want to travel at night.
Benjamin and Eleanor are having breakfast. Mrs. Lovett notices that Ben is being uncharacteristically quiet. She looks at him, trying to make eye contact, but his gaze is firmly fixed on the bowl of porridge that he is eating. She does not know why is he acting like that and she's getting worried. Did she do something wrong? Maybe it's about last night. 'Of course it is about last night' she mentally yells at herself.
She expects that he will act like it didn't happen and carry on with the normal life- well, she's very much mistaken. But of course, how can a married man like him just forget about it? Especially a man that is so loyal to his wife- though it is a bit ironic to say that, considering he is having his first child her. She is sure that he is feeling really bad right now. She also must be feeling that way- she says to herself- but she's too happy that it happened to care.
But now that Ben is acting really affected about what they did, it makes her sad- it hurts her. Because it only proves that she's the only one who enjoyed it- that to him, it is just a big mistake; wherein she considers that mistake a spark of hope.
"I'm sorry." She says in barely a whisper; looking at him even though he's not meeting her gaze.
He slowly looks up to her, with a frown etched on her face. "What was that?"
"I'm sorry." She repeats.
"For what?" he asks, confused.
"For what happened last night."
He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath- he slowly opens his eyes, but he refuses to look at her. He opens and closes his mouth to say something but nothing comes out- as if he's afraid to say something. She grabs his hand- that is placed on top of the table- with both her hands and gives it a light squeeze, not letting go.
"Tell me." She says, encouraging him. He looks so confused and troubled that she thinks she knows now what's on his mind. She does not know if she really wants to hear what he's going to say. Because she knows that it will only hurt her.
"Last night… it- I- it shouldn't have happened. We should- we should… forget about it." he stammers.
Just like as she guesses, his words hurts her. Forget? Can she do that? She can pretend, yes. But she will never forget. That kiss, that's what she wishes for every night before she goes to sleep, and now he wants her to forget it? No, she will not. Does it really mean nothing to him, that he can say that?
Ben continues to speak; unaware of how his words are affecting the woman in front of him "I also want you to know that… it is nothing- it means nothing to me. I assume that you feel the same, yes?"
He looks up to her to see her reaction. She slowly lets go of his hand, putting hers on her lap. This time, she's the one who refuses to look. She ducks her head down; she closes her eyes to prevent the tears that are threatening to spill out. She is digging her nails on her lap, her lips forming a thin line and her eyes are tightly shut. She is still not answering, and he knows that Ben is waiting for her answer- by the way that he does not continue speaking. Taking a deep breath, she relaxes and looks at him- her emotions masked with the passiveness of her face- and nods.
Ben sighs in relief and once again, continues to speak "Lastly, I think that… we should- you know this for us- if we you know… there'd be less trouble and we really- weshouldavoideachother." He says the last past so fast that she is not able to understand it.
"What's that? I didn't understand you."
"I was just saying that we should avoid each other. We don't really want that to happen again, right? If we're apart we could easily avoid inappropriate things like that. Do you agree?" he is smiling at her, with a hopeful look in his eyes- as if pleading that she agrees with him.
She abruptly stands up, startling Ben. She walks towards the counter as she talks. "Okay, Mr. Barker. If we are going to avoid each other, better start now." She says, with a bitter tone- stressing the 'Mr. Barker'.
A stubborn tear rolls down her cheek as she pounds on the dough; she hastily wipes it, concealing it to Ben. Luckily, he does not notice. He stands up, taking their plates to the sink. But before he reaches it, Mrs. Lovett is already getting the plates away from him, telling him to just leave it. He insists, taking the plates back away from her, but Mrs. Lovett grabs it back. They are arguing- getting the plates from one to another, until suddenly, the plates drop and shatter into pieces.
They look at each other, shock written on their faces. They are frozen on the spot. Mrs. Lovett is the one who gets to her senses back first.
"Look at what you did! I told you to leave it, didn't I!?" she yells at him, bending down to pick up the broken pieces of the plates.
Ben also bends down and starts helping Mrs. Lovett. "I'm sorry, Nellie. I'll just replace it if-"he apologizes but is cut off when she speaks.
"Just go" she tells him softly, suppressing the anger and the pain she is feeling.
"No, I'll help you." He continues to pick up the broken pieces of the plates, ignoring what she said.
She throws down the pieces that she picked up, and stands up. One hand on her hip and the other one pointing at the door, she shouts at him- not able to control her emotions anymore "I SAID LEAVE! GET OUT!"
"But- but-" He tries to reason out to her. Shock and fear on his face are apparent, from her unexpected outburst.
"LEAVE!" she shouts again and Ben cannot do anything but go back to his shop upstairs. Once Benjamin exits her shop, Eleanor slumps down on the bench that they are occupying a while ago. She places her elbow on top of the table, holding her head with her hand. Then…
…She cries.
For their friendship that will now stop to blossom even more, for the times that they will not spend together anymore, for him for saying that so easily to her, for falling in love with the wrong man, for losing that one spark of hope and for their ending that started with a kiss.
She is so tired, so, so, tired. Everything in her life feels like a big mistake. Whenever she finds happiness, it is easily taken away from her. With a snap of a finger everything crashes down- just like that. She feels like she'd been cursed to stay forever miserable and alone. When will she ever be happy?
She stands up, going to her bedroom. She's not going to open her shop today, she's exhausted- both mentally and physically. She will just lie down on her bed and take a rest- hoping that when she wakes up, everything will be fine. Just like waking up from a nightmare- the relief you feel in finding out that everything is just a dream.
She lies down her bed, covering herself up with a blanket. She curls up in a fetus position. She appears like a wounded child- she is, but she is not a child anymore- a woman, a woman who has a lot of problems that a simple candy couldn't solve. The moment she closes her eyes, she immediately falls into a dreamless sleep.
Hey guys! sorry for not updating for a very long time. I've been very busy with school. :(
This chapter is still not complete... you see, Lucy is still not yet home. Next chapter will be the continuation of this.
uhm... well, does any of you still read this? I hope you all still do.
Leave me a review, please :)