For those who have asked/wondered, Deeks found out about the funeral through Hetty. I had planned to mention this at the end of the last chapter, but it pulled too much focus away from the chapter and end of the funeral. I'm sure it will fit in eventually.

Thanks again for all the feedback and support with this story. I have reached the end of the pre-written chapters, but am dedicated to trying to keep up with the weekly updates. The wonderful comments definitely keep me motivated to write faster. :)

"We don't have to do this now."

Kensi pulls her eyes from the horizon and turns them toward the wonderful man standing beside her. "I know. I want to."

Marty offers her a soft smile. "You sure?"

She nods. "You deserve…" She trails off as her emotions get the best of her. It's been a highly emotional day already. "You deserve so much, Marty. So much. I don't know if I can be everything you deserve, but I can tell you everything you deserve to know."

He stares at her for a long moment. The confusion and the hurt of the past week is no longer reflected in his eyes. But there is still damage there. He hesitates before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around her.

Kensi feels tears spring to her eyes, at both his hesitation and his clear drive to comfort her. She's surprised she still has tears to cry. Marty's arms around her is such a welcome comfort. "Thank you for being here," she whispers, as she hugs him back.

His stance softens and his arms tighten around her. There's no more hesitation in his action. "I want to be here, Kens. I'm sorry I wasn't here this week."

Kensi closes her eyes and allows herself a moment of comfort. Marty is solid against her. she can feel the struggling sun on the back of her neck. The sand is warm under her feet. She takes a deep breath and pulls away far enough to meet his eyes. The sky is still overcast, but the limited sunlight still manages to light up Marty's eyes.

She reaches hand up to run her fingers through his hair. "It's not your fault that you weren't here," she tells him. "Please don't feel guilty."

His eyes pinch. "You lost your partner, Kensi. That's..." He runs his own hand through his hair. "That must have been so hard for you."

She lays her hands on his shoulders and squeezes. "This last week sucked. A lot. But I was never once mad at you for not being there. The fact that you're here now…" Her voice catches and she trails off again.

"Kensi," he murmurs.

He tries to pull her into another hug, but she keeps her hands pressed against his shoulders. She needs to be able to look him in the eye. "You are the most wonderful man, Marty. You have no idea what is means to me that you showed up today, like that." She pauses for a breath. She squeezes his shoulders again to let him know she's okay. "I love that you came today. But I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't. Just like I don't blame you for this week. I kept a lot from you. A lot." She pauses again. Marty stares at her, patient as she sorts out her thoughts. "I know how shocking this all must have been for you."

He takes a breath and cocks his head. "It was a little surprising."

She feels the corners of her lips twitch at his tone. Then she turns serious again. "I'm so sorry I kept things from you." She pauses. "I didn't expect you." She pauses again. "I didn't expect this. I had accepted a long time ago that my job and my life wouldn't have room for another person."

"Then you met me," he finishes for her.

"Then I met you," she agrees. "And at first, it was irritating to keep up the lies. But then…" She thinks back to when the feelings had started to get real. She thinks back to Marty opening up to her, and being unable to do the same for him. "I seriously debated ending things because I didn't think it was fair to you."

He offers her a soft smile. "I'm glad you didn't."

She smiles back, and feels the sting of tears again. "Yeah, well, Renko gave me a pretty awesome pep talk."

His hands squeeze her hips in silent support. "I wish I could thank him."

"You would have liked him," she says. "He was funny, but he could be serious when he wanted to be."

"He sounds like a good partner."

She nods as the tears well again. She's reminded that she's standing on the beach with Marty, both still wearing the clothes they'd worn to Renko's funeral. "He was."

He takes a breath and his expression becomes something she can't quite decipher.

"Don't feel guilty," she tells him.

"I'm not," he counters.

She raises an eyebrow.

"Okay," he concedes. "I'm trying not to be."

"I guess I can accept that."

"Compromise," he quips.

She is surprised when she laughs.

He laughs, too.

They both sober quickly, but smile at each other. It's a reminder of the real compromise that is to come.

"I just want to say, again, that we don't have to do this now," he says gently.

"And I'll say again that I want to," she responds. "It's time. I don't want to wait anymore."

"Okay." He leans in to peck her on the cheek, and then releases her.

She sits on the sand. She smiles softly at Marty when he follows her lead. She's glad he suggested they go to the beach after the funeral. She knows it's his place to go when he needs to think, and she is grateful that he is sharing it with her.

"I want you to ask me anything you want," she tells him. "As much as you want. No topic is off limits. And I will try my best to answer all your questions."

He takes a breath. His eyes are serious when he nods.

"And I will get it if this is too much for you," she continues.

He looks like he's about to interrupt her, so she holds up her hand to stop him. "I mean it, Marty. You offered me an out once, when you thought your past may be too much. My past, and my present, are so much different than you could have known. So, I'm offering you an out, too. No judgment." She takes a breath. "And no guilt. I love you. But I will be okay if this is too much for you." She takes a clarifying breath. She does love him; more than she thought possible. But she will not guilt him into the life she has chosen.

He stares at her for a long moment. Then he nods. "Okay."

"Okay," she echoes. "Ask away."

"I will. But first…I need you to know that I love you, too. And I want this to work out."

His words help settle the fear in her heart that this is all going to be too much for her. She allows herself a smile. "Me, too."

He falls silent for a long moment, pensive. The expression she couldn't quite read earlier is back.

She expects a long list of questions about her job, her past, her choices. But his first question catches her by surprise.

"You said you were right there when your partner was shot. How close was it to being you?" He asks the question quietly. He looks away from her, as if afraid of the answer.

If Kensi dwelled on her own mortality too often, she wouldn't be able to do her job effectively. It's probably why Marty's first question catches her off guard. She now recognizes the expression in his eyes; concern for her.

She reaches across the sand and lays her hand on his knee. She waits for his eyes to return to hers. "Renko was standing about as far from me as you are now." She pauses for the information to sink in. "But the shooter was aiming for Renko. He wasn't aiming for me."

He nods and takes a breath. "Have you ever been…close?"

She nods. It's part of her job, and he needs to be able to be okay with it. "Yes."

He stares at her for a long moment. His eyes flicker down to her ribcage. "That night you showed up with the bruise…"

She nods. "I took a bullet to my vest."

He inhales sharply.

Kensi moves to pull her hand away from his knee, but he stops her before she can get far. He clutches to her hand with both of his. He takes a steadying breath. "I'm sorry that happened to you."

She exhales sharply, almost a laugh. His words have again caught her by surprise. "It's part of my job," she responds.

He nods, but then grows serious and stares into her eyes, truly understanding what she is telling him.

"I have a good team," she says. "And we're as careful as we can be. But there's a lot of risk. I can't…I can't guarantee I'll always make it home…" She thinks back to the events of the day and the loss of her partner. "I can't guarantee I won't wind up like Renko."

He looks away for a long moment. He stares out at the horizon. She stays silent, allowing him to hold tight to her hand as he processes what her job really means.

He's still looking away when he speaks again. "Why do you do what you do? I mean, I know you explained it. You said it's who you are. But…why?"

She understands what he is asking.

"You know I grew up on Marine Bases. All I know is protecting people. I wanted to be a Marine when I was growing up."

He turns his head back to meet her eyes. "Like your dad," he offers.

She smiles softly. "Yeah, like my dad." She takes a breath. "You know my dad died when I was fifteen. And I know you assumed he died defending our country."

His eyes narrow in both curiosity and concern. It confirms he had, in fact, assumed her father had died in action.

"He was murdered," she says.

Marty's mouth opens, but he has no words.

"It was a few days before Christmas. I snuck out to go to a movie. He'd said no and I was mad at him. When I got back, the base police were in the driveway." She pauses and swallows hard at the memory. "I was mad at him for calling the police on me. But then…they told me his body had been found in a car, off the road outside the base. He was barely identifiable."

"Oh, Kens…" He murmurs.

"He'd been out with his marine buddies. The base police concluded that he must have been drinking and driving, and crashed his car. But I knew he would never drive drunk." She pauses and meets Marty's eyes. "Everyone moved on, but I didn't. I became an NCIS agent to find out what really happened."

"Did you?"

She nods. She proceeds to tell him about her multi-year quest to solve her father's murder. She tells him about requesting his files, and then meeting with the members of his team. She tells him about being accused of murder, and finally finding out the truth. She tells him about the peace she had finally felt, and about the journal Granger had given her.

She tells him about her history with her mother, and about the shame she had felt – and still feels – when she found out her mother had sacrificed her relationship with her to preserve Kensi's view of her father. She tells him about how she had spent over an hour sitting in front of her mother's house that night, but had been unable to walk up to the door. She tells him about the nights since that she has spent sitting in front of her mother's house.

"I wanted so badly to share what was going on with me with you," she tells him. "But I didn't know how to begin to explain…"

He drops her hand for the first time since they began this conversation, only to wrap his arm around her waist and pull her close. "You're so strong, Kens."

The praise surprises her, and there are tears in her eyes before she can blink them away. "I'm not…" She argues.

"You are," he insists. "You are."

She allows herself to give in and accept his praise. She sags against him and allows herself to be held. "Thank you," she whispers. She is thanking him for his support. She is thanking him for loving her. She is thanking him for showing up.

"I'm so glad I don't have to hide anything from you right now," she whispers. "I'm so glad."

"Me, too," he answers.

They sit together for the better part of an hour in comfortable silence before starting their conversation again. They move apart so they can look each other in the eyes.

Marty asks the questions Kensi had expected. She gives him the answers that have been bouncing around her head all week. She tells him about her job and her team. She tells him about the work she does. She tells him about the good and the bad. She tells him about saving lives, and she tells him about taking lives.

She tells him she understands the power he had felt at eleven years of age when he had pointed a gun at his father and pulled the trigger. She tells him it's a part of her job that she hates, but also a part that she knows is necessary. She tells him she has never regretted pulling the trigger.

They talk for another hour. It's getting dark when they leave the beach together.

She offers him time to process all of the information, but he wants to take her home. They pick up takeout and spend the night on the couch with Monty.

The sight of the dog brings tears to her eyes again. Her last view of Monty had been the dog sitting behind Marty the week before when she had left after their fight.

Monty welcomes her back with a wagging tail and lots of kisses.

They watch mindless television together as they down their takeout.

At midnight, they fall into bed together.

Kensi lays awake an hour after Marty has fallen asleep, grateful that she is once again sharing his bed.

She knows how hard it was to hear about her job. She doesn't understand why he didn't take the out. She knows how much he deserves, and she's amazed he's chosen to stay with her.

Finally, she closes her eyes and falls asleep to the feel of Marty's arm around her waist and his breath hot on the back of her neck.