"So I have something to confess to you," Lindsay said, turning the radio down and glancing over at Adam.
"What's that?"
"I'm pretty sure I read the directions wrong."
"Meaning?"
"I told you left when I should have told you right."
"Hmm."
"So basically we should turn around but I'm looking at the signs and the traffic and I'm thinking that might not be so easy."
"Okay," he said, continuing to drive. "We'll find another way. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"How come it took you this long to tell me you gave me bad directions?"
"Maybe I kind of thought it might be a little fun to get lost."
He grinned and reached over for her hand. It didn't matter to him if they really got lost and spent the whole weekend trying to find the hotel. They were both just glad to be able to be alone together, like it had been when they were first married. It wasn't that they didn't love Colton or that they didn't want him with them, but they realized the importance of having their own time together. Even sleeping in had become a rarity. In the early days they slept in at least one day a week, not getting out of bed until nearly lunchtime, preferring to spend the time curled up together in a place where no one and nothing took precedence over their bond. Now life was faster and there was less time for that kind of thing. They both missed it a lot, and he was hoping this weekend would help.
"Hey sweetie?"
"Yeah?"
Their eyes met and they smiled together, before turning their gazes back to the road. They drove for a long time, way past the estimated MapQuest time for their destination, but they were having too much fun laughing at every wrong turn and one way street to care how late it was getting. It wasn't a grand adventure but it was theirs together and that made it wonderful.
She finally pulled the directions out again when it got dark, turning on the overhead light to try and figure out where they were.
"You know what honey?"
"Hmm?"
"We've been in a five block radius of the hotel for the last hour."
"Only us," he laughed, shaking his head. "Where do I go?"
She gave him better directions this time and they were soon at the hotel, both tired from the drive and the early shifts they had both put in before leaving. They made it up to their room and dumped their suitcase by the door, looking at the king sized bed and grinning.
"Shall we?" he asked, holding out his hand. She nodded and they raced for the bed, climbing on it and jumping up and down like they were three years old.
"Our mothers would disapprove of this," she giggled.
"They'd disapprove of what I'm about to do as well," he answered, grabbing her around the waist and making them both tumble onto the mattress. Her bubbling laughter was swallowed with a kiss and she melted back into the pillows loving how he could make her so happy with simple actions like this. He pulled away after a moment, looking down at her with a smile.
"Thanks for coming with me."
"Well this wouldn't be as much fun on your own, now would it?"
"Nope."
She gave him a grin and rolled off the bed.
"Where are you going?"
"Checkin' out the bathroom. Haven't you ever stayed in a hotel before?"
He just laughed while she disappeared around the corner.
"Hey babe, come check this out."
He followed her voice into the bathroom, chuckling when he found her fully clothed in the empty tub.
"Jacuzzi bath," she said with a grin. "And they have a towel warmer. I think I am going to spend the weekend right here."
"There room for two?"
She nodded and he climbed in too, sitting across from her and leaning back to prop his feet up on the side of the porcelain.
"This is the life."
"I wonder if we could get someone to come up here and fan us with palm fronds and feed us grapes."
"Linds… sometimes I don't even know."
She grinned and moved into his arms, leaning up to kiss him while her fingers played with the hem of his shirt.
"I love you, Adam."
Her voice had turned completely serious and he touched his forehead to hers, brushing his fingers over her cheek.
"I love you too."
They stayed that way for a while before she sat up and climbed out of the tub, holding her hand out to him. He gave her a crooked grin and got up, taking her hand and following her back into the other room.
Morning had broken gently, a warm orange light settling over the world, filtering through the leaves on the tree outside and into their room. It was quite possibly the most beautiful morning on record, the kind that leaves one with a certain levity all day long, making a bad day virtually impossible.
Neither one of them noticed it.
They were too wrapped up in each other, had been since the moment their eyes opened. It was often like that with them; nothing else was quite as important as the whispers and touches and everything else that came with time together. Rather than the light of the sun, he saw the light in her eyes. Rather than the chirping of birds he heard her soft giggles and his name on her lips. Rather than the crispness of dawn he felt the warmth of her body against his.
She rested her head on his shoulder and ran her hand slowly up and down his chest while his fingers drew nonsensical patterns on her side. Their breathing had slowed almost to the rhythm of sleep and he moved a little bit just to keep her awake. She almost purred as he rolled onto his side to face her, pulling her more tightly against him. His fingers wound through her hair and rested on the back of her head, gently pushing her to look at him. There were unshed tears in her eyes and he leaned a little closer, wondering what had happened in the last few silent minutes that would garner such a reaction from her.
"What's wrong?" he asked softly, his thumb drawing across her cheek to wipe away the one tear that had broken free.
"Nothing."
"You have tears."
"I know. I guess… sometimes I see how lucky I got. And I just can't really believe it."
"Me too."
"I always think back for some reason, to the bad stuff, the fights and everything, and I feel awful for things I've said and done. And I know you forgive me but I still have this irrational fear that one day I'll go too far."
"You won't. I love you enough that there is so such thing as too far. I won't let you go. Never."
"I hate the memories."
"Me too. That's why we make new ones."
"Like this?"
"Exactly like this."
"I love how we plan all this stuff to do, then end up spending the whole weekend in bed.
"Not the whole weekend. Just the majority of Saturday morning. We haven't done this in a long time."
"I know. It's kinda nice."
"Kinda?"
"Well, I didn't want to sound…"
"Ha. Ha."
"Don't make that face at me."
"Gee, why not?"
"You're big trouble."
"You don't mind."
"That's the problem."
"Also what I was counting on."
She giggled as his arms came completely around her and kissing took over for their words.
"We really should get out of bed at some point," Lindsay commented, stealing the remote from Adam and switching the channel from Cartoon Network to TVLand.
"Why?"
"Because when Austin teases me and says we spent the whole time in bed, I don't want her to be right."
"She'll say that?"
"She already says that."
"What in the world do you two talk about?"
"Everything. Nothing."
He stole the remote back and shot her a look as she threw the covers back and got out of bed, his Arizona Cardinals hoodie hanging almost to her knees.
"I'm going to shower."
"Can I come?"
She grinned and leaned over the bed, her nose brushing over his while she smiled.
"No."
"No?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because."
"Because why?"
"Because it's one of the last things I can say no to you about."
"Fair enough."
She smiled and righted herself then headed into the bathroom while he continued to watch TV. After a minute a dark bra came flying out the bathroom door and hit him in the face.
"Linds!"
He could hear her giggle and the shower turn on, and he shook his head, tossing the bra down to the floor before he stood up and straightened the bed, opened the lace curtains a little and chuckled at their exploded suitcase. It sat on the suitcase stand while every piece of clothing that they had brought lay in a heap next to it. He picked everything up and put it back, then moved over to the counter where a small coffee maker stood. He could make espresso with the best of them, but when it came to drip coffee, it was better to leave it to someone else. Anyone else, actually. But this coffee maker had premeasured packets so he figured it couldn't be too bad, and pretty soon a whole pot was percolating. It smelled okay and he smiled, pleased with himself as he went back across the room, finding his cell phone to check the time. It wasn't nearly as late as he thought it was and he was sure she was going to talk him in to taking her out for brunch. She was a breakfast glutton and very unashamed of that fact.
He heard the shower turn off, so he went back to the suitcase, finding himself something to wear. She'd want to be out the door as soon as she was ready, so he needed to make sure he could catch up to her.
"You want to take me out for breakfast?" she asked coyly as the bathroom door swung open.
"I knew you were going to ask that. And yes."
She grinned and continued to towel her hair dry, then walked over to the window.
"Remember that place we saw last night? The café in the pink brick building?"
"Yeah."
"Do you know where it was?"
"I think I can get us there. We could walk."
She nodded and smiled.
"I'll be ready in fifteen minutes."
They walked leisurely, their joined hands swinging between them as they took in the sights of this small town. They pointed out small shops along the street, taking mental notes of places to stop in at after they ate. It was the perfect day for a long walk, cool with a breeze but still sunny enough that one could almost believe it was summer.
They reached the café a little later than anticipated, but neither of them noticed as they were taken to a booth and the smell of fresh pancakes filled the air. They ordered quickly, knowing what they wanted without a menu. She grinned as they held hands across the table, reminded of one morning so many years ago, when he had dropped by unannounced and taken her out to breakfast just because he woke up thinking about her. It made her swoon then and it made her swoon now just remembering it. Even then, when they were friends who had barely begun dating, when they didn't talk about the future for fear of jinxing it, when every move was a little hesitant, even then he had loved her. Maybe it wasn't as developed then, and certainly hadn't been tried by fire, but he loved her to the best of his ability.
"I should probably thank you for your salacious comment on the bathroom mirror this morning."
She grinned and wiggled her eyebrows at him while he chuckled and shook his head.
"I had to erase it for fear that the hotel would charge our credit card for such impropriety."
"I like to leave my mark, what can I say?"
"Ah Linds, I wouldn't trade you for nothin'."
"That's a double negative."
"It would be doubly negative if I ever traded you for anything."
"I see your grammatical logic and am amused by it."
"My job is done."
She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze.
"You know what I think?"
"What?"
"Anniversary tradition."
"Yeah?"
"Absolutely. A different place every year?"
"Yes. And in seven years…"
"Cruise number two," she said with a grin.
"Except this time we'll be more aware of where the elderly people like to go when they're wearing nothing but a speedo."
"Those are not exactly the memories I like to keep from our honeymoon."
"There were much better ones. Like the midnight buffets."
"Definitely."
"So what do you want to know?" Adam asked as their feet crunched slowly through the leaves in the park.
"What?"
"You kept saying that there was a lot you don't know about me."
"I guess maybe not a lot… You know all my secrets. Big ones and little ones. I just feel like it's a little unbalanced."
"I don't have secrets Linds."
"You have things you don't talk about. I don't mean your dad. Just… who were you before we met? Who did you date? Why did you chose New York out of everywhere else?"
"That stuff matters to you?"
"Well… yeah. I mean, how would you feel if I never told you anything?"
"It's not like I never tell you anything."
"I know that. It's not like you're keeping anything from me it's just that you don't talk about stuff. And maybe that's okay, but I-"
"Linds, if you want to know things I have no problem telling you."
She nodded and they kept walking for a while before she finally found words.
"Were you ever in love before me?"
"Way to jump in there baby."
"Well… were you?"
"If you mean did I ever love anyone the way I love you, then no. If you mean did I at the time think I was in love, yes. But only once."
"With Carrie?"
"No."
She took a deep breath, wishing he had said yes because then she would know what she was up against.
"Well who was it?"
"Heather."
"You never said anything about her."
"It wasn't a good break up."
"Why not?"
"Is any break up ever a good one?"
"I guess not."
"I met Heather the first year of college. We dated really seriously for about a year, talked about getting married after college. She met the family, all that kind of stuff. But after a while we kind of drifted apart. We didn't have classes together, didn't have time for each other between school and work. We tried for a while, but we ended up fighting all the time and that's pretty much how it ended."
"Was the break up hard because you loved her?"
"Yeah. She was the first real relationship I ever had. Carrie… she'd been in my life for a long time. In high school when we dated it wasn't really serious. We went out maybe three times, I think I kissed her goodnight once. And then Heather came along and it was serious and it was fast."
"So she was um… your first…"
"Yeah. I really did think I was in love with her. But it never would have worked out. There wasn't enough substance. I never even looked her in the eye. We couldn't even manage to make a dating relationship work while we had little to no responsibility. We never would have made it out in the world."
She nodded and stared at her shoes, knowing now how he had felt when she eeked out the story of Brian before. It wasn't fun to picture him with someone else, no matter how over the relationship was.
"So who did you date after that?"
"Carrie kind of long distance. She was always kind of a fall back option. So really I guess after Heather, it was Nicole."
"And she was…?"
"Normal at first. Clinically insane later."
"What?"
"It started out normal. She was fun and smart and we had a lot in common. But she loved attention and she always had to be the loudest when we were in social situations. If there was a conversation going on that she wasn't a part of, she would butt in and change the subject. She was just really insecure and immature and I didn't see it at first, but once I did… I broke it off pretty fast. She moved on, or so it seemed. She would have some crush on someone and then they wouldn't be interested, so she would start talking to me again, because I was like her safe choice. She'd get really mad if I told her I was busy or something. I'd go months without seeing or talking to her and then all of the sudden she was there again, at parties or study groups I was in, calling me, e-mailing, showing up at work. And then she would have a crush on someone else and she'd disappear again. Psycho. That's what mom calls her."
"Wow."
"Yeah. After her I kind of swore off dating for a while. Concentrated on school, got a job. Then Carrie and I… well you know the rest of the story. And so here I am. With you."
"Would you change any of it?"
"Not the outcome. I kind of wish I'd never dated at all until I met you. I guess it's for a reason though."
"Yeah, I guess."
He pulled her close and kissed the top of her head gently.
"I love you, Lindsay. Only, ever you."
"I love you too. Only ever."
"Most couples on a weekend away would play strip poker. And yet here we sit playing fully clothed Go Fish."
"Well honey that's because if we played strip poker you would be naked really fast and that's not very fair."
"So you're saying you're a better liar than I am?"
"We're not playing BS," she clarified. "Poker isn't about lying it's about making people believe you're lying."
"Only if you get dealt good cards. Then you are lying."
"Fundamentally. But if you play your cards right and know a mind game or two, poker is pretty easy."
"You mean if your older brothers taught you how to play and then had you play all their friends and kept all your winnings."
"Exactly."
"I hear a country song somewhere in that story."
"I'll write one later. You got any Queens?"
He chuckled and handed her a card and she slid it into her hand.
"Twos?"
"Go Fish."
"Well it may not be a two, but I see a very bright future for me and the end of this game."
"Crap. Unless you've got an Ace floating around in there…"
She wrinkled her nose and handed him three cards and he pumped his fist in victory.
"You know, we could just forget the game," she said in her most sultry voice.
"You think you can use your feminine wiles on me? Distract me from what might be the biggest Go Fish victory of my life?"
"It's worked before," she said with a shrug.
"Move back over there woman."
She giggled and moved back to where she had been before, sitting against the pillows with her feet in his lap.
"Let's see, how about a seven?"
She gave him a disapproving look and handed him the card.
"You're cleanin' me out."
"Fives?"
"This is not funny anymore."
"Tens?"
"Go. Fish."
"How mad would you be if I told you I got a ten?"
"Did you?"
"How mad would you be?"
"I would be amused at least."
"Well it's not a ten."
"Why are you so weird?"
"Keep you entertained."
"Sacrificial lamb. Threes?"
"Sorry dudette."
She drew from the pile and they continued the game until he won by two books of cards. She giggled at his little victory dance, then gathered up the cards and shuffled them a few times.
"So now what? Speed? Egyptian Rat Screw? Slap Jack?"
"Nope. Come here."
He stood up from the bed and held his hand out for her and she took it, letting him pull her into his arms.
"Dance with me."
She smiled as they found a good rhythm, moving together to the music that came from his docked iPod. Nowhere in the world did she feel as whole and content as when she was wrapped in his arms, his heartbeat thrumming in her ear. He loved her wholly and completely and at the same time he could be tough on her, making her face fears and do hard things because it made her better. He didn't back down when it came to that and she doubted she would ever have found a man that was capable of loving her that much.
"Hey Linds?"
"Hmm?"
"Thank you for saying yes. That first time when you had no reason to, thank you for giving me that trust and jumping in with me."
She pulled away and looked up into his eyes, a smile cracking across her face.
"Thank you for being the person that never makes me regret it."
"Never? Not even when I leave my clothes on the floor and forget to put the milk back and let the garbage spill onto the floor and snore really loud and use all the hot water-"
"Never. Not once, not ever."
"Really?"
"I used to never want to get married, Adam. I'd look at my friends who had these perfect husbands and I believed in that perfection and then they would tell me these things that their husbands did that I knew I couldn't ever live with. I didn't want to be stuck with someone like that. And then you came along and you are really truly that good. It's not like you don't have flaws, but none of them mean you love me any less. I guess maybe I stopped believing in love like that, but you showed me it could be real and I could have it and I deserved it."
"You do deserve it. You deserve every wonderful thing the world has to offer."
"I have it already. You gave it to me."
"You give it to me right back."
She smiled and ran her fingers through his hair then pulled him down to kiss him. They could say these words to each other every day and it still wouldn't be enough. She loved him so much that it hurt, she could feel it in her chest every time she looked at him. She couldn't wait for the next three years, the next thirty years, the rest of their lives because she knew that it wasn't going to fade. It was going to be this much and this intense forever.
"I'm not sure if I'm ready to go home yet," Lindsay sighed as Adam guided the car down familiar streets.
"Really?"
"Well… sorta not. I liked not having to do anything or be anywhere, but I did miss Colton. A lot."
"It's the longest we've both been away from him at once."
"It was good for us, but we definitely can't leave him every weekend."
"Nope. We're going to have to do a family vacation eventually. Six Flags or something."
"Are you kidding? Lego Land!"
"Babe, you are so awesome."
She giggled and put her feet against the dashboard, tapping her boot clad toes to the new country song that filtered out of the radio. The chorus started and they both belted it out together, smiling at how well it fit them.
There you go making my heart beat again
Heart beat again, heart beat again
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won't you do it and do it one time
There you go pulling me right back in
Right back in, right back in
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Stuck like glue
You and me baby
We're stuck like glue
Whoa-oh, whoa-oh
Stuck like glue
You and me baby
We're stuck like glue
She smiled and gave his hand a squeeze as he stopped the car outside Danny and Austin's apartment.
"So next year, Charleston?"
"It's a date."
He smiled and tugged her across the car and into his arms, kissing her as deeply as he could manage in such a position.
"I love you baby."
"I love you too."
"Let's go get our kid."
They got out of the car and went upstairs, knocking on the door mostly because it was late and they didn't know if the kids were in bed or not. Danny opened the door and let them in.
"How was your trip?"
"It was good. How was the extra kid?"
"Not a problem. Isa's usually runnin' from one toy to another and all over the place, but she actually sits down and plays with something for a while when he's here. 'Course then when we have a real battle at bedtime, but it doesn't last long."
"Is he asleep yet?"
"Nah. Austin just took them in to read a book. You can go back there."
Lindsay smiled and walked down the hall to Isa's bedroom, peeking her head around the corner to find Austin sitting on the floor with the kids in her lap. She cleared her throat and they all looked up at her, Colton shrieking and jumping up to run over to her.
"MAMA!" he squealed as she lifted him up and covered his cheeks with kisses.
"Hi buddy. I missed you."
He kept his arms tightly around her neck, giggling as he said her name over and over again.
"I guess you missed me too."
"He only asked for you about five hundred times."
"Did he cry?"
"Nah, he was pretty brave and easily distracted."
"Were you a good boy?"
He gave her a smile and patted her cheek, then kissed her sloppily.
"Are you ready to go home?"
"Daddy?"
"Yeah, daddy's here. Thanks for taking him, Aust."
"It was fun. We can do it any time."
"Alright. Bye Isa."
"Buh-bye!"
Lindsay gathered up Colton's diaper bag that has all his clothes in it and made sure he had a secure hold on his sock monkey before she went out into the other room.
"Daddy, daddy, hi daddy!"
"Hi little man."
Colton lunged for him with a happy holler and Adam laughed and held him close.
"We missed you dude. Are you ready to go home?"
"Home go bye."
"Alright, let's get out of here."
They put his coat on him and said goodbye, then went down to the car, buckling him into his seat. He babbled loudly, telling them all about his weekend, glad to have them back. By the time they arrived home he was asleep, snoring gently and looking very content in his carseat.
"I don't want to put him in his own bed tonight," Lindsay confessed as she carefully pulled her son out of his seat.
"Missed him too much?"
"Yeah."
"Okay, he can sleep with us."
"Thank you."
They went upstairs and changed their clothes, made sure the cats had food, then crawled into bed, exhausted from the events of the last few days. They settled Colton in between them, then reached for each other sighing and closing their eyes. As much as they loved the time alone, they were happy to have the whole family back together.