"We should get frequent flyer miles for how often we drive to the airport," Adam commented, navigating the car through the parking garage.

"That would be nice," Lindsay agreed absentmindedly as she looked out the window.

"We're only five minutes late, babe," he chuckled. "She probably hasn't even gotten off the plane yet."

"I know. I just don't want to leave her by herself."

"She's not eight years old anymore Linds."

"Shut up, she is too."

"Okay, you can tell Taylor that and I'll remind her that you're just a little crazy."

"This is why we make a good pair. Hey, there's a spot."

"Good eye. You want us to go in with you?"

"It's too cold for you to stay out here," she shrugged as he turned the car off.

"Colton, want to play in the arcade?"

"Okay daddy."

They got out of the car and went inside, Colton staring at all the people and new sights with breathless wonder. They never had much of a chance to get him out of their neighborhood and exploring the rest of the world. It was something they both wanted to change, but life was still moving too fast and it was hard to take a morning and go for a walk, much less find a zoo or aquarium or something else he would be interested in.

"Colton, look at that," Adam said, pointing to the luggage carousel.

"What is?"

"It's a carnival ride for suitcases!"

"Why?"

"Because it's not fair for only people to get to ride them."

Lindsay rolled her eyes and shook her head while Colton giggled.

"I don't know what to do with you, Adam."

"Yeah you do."

She grinned and took his hand, suddenly realizing how long it had been since they had held hands. It had to have been a few weeks at least. She smiled and slid her fingers between his, catching his eye out of the corner of hers. He gave her a little squeeze back and they continued walking as close to the concourse as they could get. It was less than a minute before they spotted Taylor and Lindsay rushed to give her a hug.

"I missed you so much!" Taylor gushed. "Seriously Linds, you have no idea."

"I might have a smidgen of one."

They giggled together and rejoined the boys.

"Hey kid," Adam greeted, giving her a side hug. "Any good stories about other passengers?"

"I met a taxidermist. He told me stuff. Some animals hibernate really hard."

"Excellent. What do you ladies say to dinner?"

"I don't know about her, but I say yes please," Lindsay said as Taylor grabbed her suitcase off of the carousel.

"What she said."

"So pizza?"

"Again?" Lindsay asked, her hand flying to her hip.

"Please Linds? I've been craving New York pizza since the last time I was here. Do you understand how long ago that was?"

"Kindly unwrap me from your finger dear child."

"No way."

"Fine. Pizza."

"Yes!" Taylor and Adam exclaimed in unison. Lindsay shook her head as they made their way outside. This might be a long week.

"Tater, see?" Colton said, handing her a plastic drum.

"Wow, what is it?"

"It go bam!" he shouted, banging on the plastic top. Taylor chuckled and Colton hit the toy again, creating an even bigger noise.

"Is that fun?"

"Nope!"

He walked over to his toy basket and leaned over it, searching inside for something else.

"Tater, see?" he repeated, pulling out a large red airplane and pulling the trigger button that rotated the wing propellers.

"What is that?"

"Flyplane."

"Where's it gonna fly?"

"Dere!"

He ran off into the other room, making zooming noises as he raced around the kitchen and behind the couch then crashed down onto the floor next to her.

"That's a crazy plane, Colt."

"Crazy plane," he agreed with a nod. "Tater, read boot?"

"You mean a book? Sure, which one do you want?"

He scrambled off her lap and found a book in the pile, handing it to her with a smile.

"Dat boot," he said, settling back into her lap and putting his finger in his mouth. Taylor smiled and began to read slowly, hoping he would actually go to bed on time. In the two days she had been in New York Colton had become her little shadow, following her everywhere and even standing outside the door when she went to the bathroom. She loved it though, felt like it made up for all of his life that she had missed.

"Tater?" Colton interrupted, turning to look at her. "Where mama?"

"Mama and daddy went out on a date."

"Oh."

"Are you ready for bed?"

"Nope. Talk," he said, pointing down at the brightly colored page and giving her a smile. She smiled back and continued with the story until he slumped against her sleepily. She held him for several minutes, brushing his hair back and studying every inch of his face, keeping it in her memory until she could see him again. After a while she had to get up and take him into his room. He woke up for a moment, but settled again once she placed his quilt over him.

"Goodnight little boy. I love you."

She tiptoed out of the room and closed the door, going back into the other room and flopping down on the couch with a yawn. It wasn't that late but she was just getting used to the time difference. She loved Montana and would probably never leave permanently, but New York was quickly becoming her favorite place away from home. She could have days off of work and days off of school, but it never really felt like a vacation unless she was here.

The front door swung open and Lindsay and Adam tumbled in with suppressed giggles.

"Are you guys drunk?"

"Nope," Lindsay said, straightening her hair. She glanced over at Adam and they dissolved into quiet laughter again while Taylor grinned and rolled her eyes.

"You guys are so juvenile."

"We know."

"Alright girls, I'm going to hit the sack so I can actually get out of bed and make some money in the morning. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

He went back into the bedroom and Lindsay plopped down on the couch, taking her coat off and tossing it onto the chair.

"Thanks for babysitting."

"It was fun. He talks a lot."

"Yeah, one day he just kind of exploded into the English language."

"He's growing up too fast."

"I know. So what's up with you, sister? We haven't had one of our talks since you've been here."

"Yeah, I know," Taylor sighed. Most of the time she could tell Lindsay anything. Never mattered what it was, she could say it easily. But every once in a while, she let herself worry about what Lindsay would say and what she would think and balked and kept things to herself. It wasn't like Lindsay judged her or wouldn't listen. She just hated to be a disappointment.

"What's going on?"

"I flunked out."

"What?"

"This whole semester, I flunked out. And now I can't go to London and I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Sweetheart, how did you flunk out? I mean, how bad is it? Just one class or-"

"Out of eighteen credits I only ended up receiving six. It wasn't just one course Linds. I completely screwed up. My scholarships are gone, my financial aid is gone, I'm not on the deans list, I'm not on track to graduate, they're not going to let me study in Europe, and if I want to take the classes over, I have to come up with a couple thousand dollars by the time I go back."

"But how did it happen? I mean, it's so not like you."

"I don't know, Linds. It was just a bad semester. It was the last half of the sophomore classes and they say that the sophomore year is the hardest. I was trying to plan that trip. Jacob and I… I don't even know. I don't know if everything got away from me or if I got lazy. But I was sitting there taking my finals and just staring at them because I had no idea what I was doing. I wanted to tell you so bad, but I didn't want to disappoint you."

"You don't disappoint me, Taylor. You never have, and no matter what you do, you never will. I may not like things that happen and I may someday disagree with how you handle something, but when it comes down to it, I am still always proud of you. Do you believe that?"

"Yeah. Sort of. I just don't want you to be mad at me. I wasted all that time and money and-"

"Honey look, it's okay. Things happen. You dealt with them the wrong way, but you dealt with them. We'll figure something out. It's a bump in the road, not the end of the world."

"You're not mad at me?" she asked, wiping her eyes.

"No. I'm mad that it turned out this way, but I know that for this to happen, it had to have been a big deal to you. It's not like you just got lazy. I'm not saying that it's not your fault, but I am saying that even if I was mad, there would be no point in that. I can't help you figure out your next move if I'm mad at you."

"I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Yes you do. You're going to take until the fall to work and save up money and hopefully by the time fall semester starts you'll have saved enough to start school again and get better grades and get your scholarships back. If you haven't, you'll just wait until spring and start then, and then you'll be in the same place you would have been had you not fast tracked high school."

"You make it sound easy."

"But it's not. It's going to be hard and frustrating and you're probably going to regret this a lot, but in the end you'll be back in school and that's really what you want in the first place. This is the only thing you can do. Unless…"

"Unless what?"

"Unless you don't want to do college anymore."

"No, I do. I need the degree to get me to where I want to go."

"Okay, then is that the plan?"

"Yeah."

"Feel better?"

"Not entirely, but a little."

"Good. Now tell me what's up with you and Jacob. I thought he was Prince Charming."

"He was. He is. I guess I'm the problem."

"How?"

"I can't love him. He's perfect and he loves me and he's so good to me and patient and he understands me and makes me laugh and I should love him like crazy but I just can't. I care about him, a lot, but I can't make myself love him. And I want to so bad. I really do. I just don't think I'm capable of love. Not like that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not capable of trust either. Because I'm afraid he's going to leave me someday and if I trust him and love him, then that day comes and I get hurt. And I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm tired of it. I don't like being left alone and I don't like being unworthy of someone's time. So I broke up with him. And now we both hurt."

"Oh sis, c'mere."

"I'm so tired of it, Lindsay. I'm tired of being the grown up all the time. What I have to do always comes before what I want to do. I always have to think about the future and how I'll survive and I never get to just think about now. I've never just been a kid. Never except when I'm sitting here with you and you're the one taking care of me. And then I feel guilty because you have your own kid and I'm an adult and you shouldn't have to take care of me and then I hate my parents because they did this to me and I wonder why I got dropped into that joke of a family and I just don't want to do this anymore. I want to give up and just… I can't even think of what I would do if I just gave up because I'm still thinking about bills and money and careers and I can't let it all go."

Lindsay let her cry for a while, surprised that Taylor was actually letting go like this. She had seen her full out cry less than five times in ten years, and if anyone had a reason to, it was Taylor. But she always thought she had to be tough and brave and the solution to all her own problems.

"I want you to take a deep breath and look at me. It's not fair. It never has been. You should have got to be a kid. You should be having fun right now instead of stressing yourself out. You should have parents that love you unconditionally and you should have everything the world has to offer. But it's not fair. And as much as I want to give it to you and as much as I want to tell you it's going to be okay, I just don't know. You got the bad end of the deal, baby girl. Nothing will ever change that. I wish you could let it go too. Live an easier life. But you're not like that. You don't run away. But you can take a break. You take a break and I'll do your worrying for a while. Okay? You just let me know. No more keeping it to yourself."

"Okay."

"As for you not being able to love Jacob, there might be a reason for that."

"Like I have no heart?"

"No, like you knew he wasn't the one for you."

"But he was."

"It may have looked great on paper, but your heart was hesitant. You have to listen to that too. Look, as much as I loved Brian, I didn't really love him. Not the way I love Adam. Not even close. So far off it can't even be a farce. And you know what, sweetie, I never had a hesitation there. Because he's the right one. Caution is okay and you should listen to your instincts, but there will come a day when you do find the right one and you will love him. You are capable of that, Taylor. You are, you just have to find the right person to give that to."

"I'm scared."

"Of what?"

"That you're wrong. That he really was the right one and I screwed it up because I'm selfish."

"I guess you're just going to have to wait and see then."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"And what am I supposed to do while I wait?"

"I don't know."

"Sometimes you give really solid answers and sometimes you so don't."

"Sorry kid."

"Linds?"

"Yeah?"

She hesitated for a second, opening her mouth and then closing it again, not sure she was ready for another deep conversation tonight.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome. I love you."

"I love you too."