Kensi's day doesn't get any easier.
She and Cole head back to the Mission after the most recent shoot out, pausing only to pick up fast food on the way. Both would prefer something more substantial, but they're both starving and lacking other options.
Kensi holds back a laugh as she watches her partner frown at the remaining half of his burger. "I guess with you being called in so early, your wife didn't have time to make you lunch today…" She jokes.
Cole rolls his eyes. His wife has a habit of packing him bagged lunches; a fact that he has taken quite the ribbing for with the team.
"We take turns making each other lunch," he responds.
"Do you put little love notes into hers, too?" She jokes.
"That was one time, on my birthday." He pauses before admitting, "And yes, I add notes to hers on special occasions, too."
She laughs.
He huffs in good nature. "You shouldn't joke. You're on your way to happily wedded bliss with the lawyer. In no time at all, you'll be just like me."
Her partner's words bring her laughter to an immediate halt. She swallows hard. The thought causes her heart to pound against her chest. She is suddenly afraid.
But she's not afraid of marrying Marty. She's afraid he won't want to marry her. She's afraid her job is too much for him and he will leave.
The want is strong inside her. She loves him and she wants to be with him. It's been less than ten months, but she knows she could spend the rest of her life with him, given the chance. She just doesn't know where he stands. When they'd had their big talk after Renko's funeral, they had agreed that he could ask any questions and she would be open and honest with him. And she had made it clear that he could choose to walk away if it was all too much.
They've talked in the months since, of course. He's told her he's forgiven her. He's told her he loves her. And he keeps telling her he wants to make this work. He's been determined, and she's been hopeful.
She just doesn't know when she'll know if it is or is not working.
She clears her throat and tries to act like Cole's words hadn't created such a reaction inside her head. "It's been less than a year. It's too soon to talk about getting married."
"I knew my wife six months when I asked her to marry me," he counters.
"Weren't you, like, twelve?"
He chuckles. "Twenty-two. She was twenty-one. I met her when I was home between tours. Married her before I was re-deployed." He pauses. "When you know, you know. And I knew." He meets her eyes for a moment. "And I think you know."
She says nothing in response, but mulls over his words as they arrive back at the Mission and head up to Ops. Eric and Nell have found a possible witness and track him to jewellery store downtown.
Kensi and Cole head back out to speak with the witness.
The jewellery store is relatively small and mostly empty when they arrive. The witness is behind the counter, engaged in a serious conversation with the only customer. There is one other man behind the counter, off to the side. Kensi immediately guesses he is there for security.
Cole is half-a-step in front of her when she senses something is wrong. The store feels wrong. Their witness does not look like a man who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. The conversation he is having with the other man is far too serious to be related to buying jewellery. And the security guard is definitely there for security, but he's not a professional security guard.
She knows Cole senses the disconnect as well and watches him reach back for his badge.
She intercepts his hand with hers. They both know they've stumbled into what could very likely be the headquarters for their whole case. She can only hope she and Cole haven't been made yet.
She interlaces her fingers through Coles. He slows and glances towards her. His pupils have dilated, and she knows the Marine in him is making note of every exit and every operational strength and weakness. She needs him to see through a new strategy.
She squeezes his hand, and he squeezes back, letting her take the lead.
They are in a jewellery store, so she had hoped he would take the lead and act the boyfriend trying to impress his girlfriend. It's a play she's done with Renko, and even Callen, in the past.
She pastes a smile on her face, prepared to take the lead.
"Can I help you?" Their witness, and probably suspect, asks.
Kensi brushes up against Cole, trying to look more like a couple. He is tense beside her, not used to ignoring dangers for undercover work.
"My boyfriend promised to get me something special for my birthday," she says. "He claims he didn't forget, but he's going to be in trouble if I find out he's lying." The last sentence was directed at Eric, who she knows is monitoring them over their comms.
"Loud and clear, Kens," Eric says in the background. "Back up is on the way."
Eric's words clearly calm Cole, who is also wearing a comm in his ear. He relaxes next to her, but still doesn't say anything.
She squeezes his hand again, hard. She needs him to say something. She needs him to play the boyfriend.
He turns and looks at her.
She widens her eyes ever so slightly. "You're going to buy me something special so I don't have any reason to think you forgot my birthday, right honey?"
He nods as he finally seems to understand what she is doing. He releases her hand to wrap his arm around her waist. "Of course, honey," he tells her. "I would never forget your birthday."
His behaviour is good, but may be too late. Out of the corner of her eye, Kensi can see security guy walking closer to them.
"What are you interested in?" Their witness/suspect asks.
"Uh, I was thinking maybe a… bracelet?" Cole answers, though he's distracted. He clearly also sees security guy getting closer.
Their witness/suspect glances towards Kensi and then back to Cole. He clearly notices that Cole's asking him and not her about what jewellery to buy. And that's not normal. The witness/suspect looks towards the security guy, and Kensi knows they've been made.
She pushes Cole away from her as she ducks down.
Bullets fly as the security guy starts shooting. The fake customer joins in as the witness/suspect hides.
There is little to no cover in the store. Cole had also dropped when Kensi pushed him out of the line of fire. He rolls now and comes up into a crouch. He takes two shots, and manages to take out the security guy.
Kensi turns her focus on the fake customer, who drops his weapon when he realizes he's outnumbered. He raises his hands in surrender and Cole is right there with handcuffs.
Kensi quickly and carefully makes her way towards the back room, hoping to catch up with their suspect who had fled. She clears the back room and opens the back door, only to breathe a sigh of relief.
Sam has their suspect in custody.
"Nice of you to join us," she quips.
Sam huffs a laugh, though he's not smiling. "Lucky we were so close when Eric called."
Kensi makes her way back into the store. Callen is now standing with Cole. The fake customer has been taken into custody.
Callen and Cole stop talking when she gets close. Neither look particularly happy.
"Sam's got the suspect out back," she tells them.
Callen nods and leaves to join his partner.
Kensi watches him go before turning back to her own partner. "Everything okay?"
Cole takes a breath and shakes his head. "No. I let you down, Kensi. I'm sorry."
It's her turn to shake her head. "No, Cole-"
He cuts her off. "If I could have played along, we could have held off until backup arrived. I just…couldn't."
"This job is hard," she tells him. "Somethings you have to go against your instincts. It's something you have to learn. And that's okay. This was the first time we've gone undercover without notice. Next time will be easier."
He sighs. "I hope so," he tells her, though his eyes are filled with doubt.
00
When Kensi gets home, it's late.
She had checked in with Marty before leaving work, and he had promised her dinner when she got home.
She pulls her car up to her house, and turns off the ignition. The lights are on, and she knows he is inside waiting for her. It warms her heart, knowing he is there. It's been so long since she has felt like this. Cole's words from earlier come to mind, making her wonder if their time together is temporary or not. She hopes not.
She exits the car and walks up to her front door. She can hear the television, and what she thinks is Marty talking to Monty. She opens the door. Almost immediately, Monty barks and hurries to her. He wiggles and wags his way around her, happy that she is home.
Marty is not far behind. He stands back for a moment with his arms crossed, watching with amusement as Monty expresses his happiness at have Kensi back home.
Kensi is laughing when she finally manages to remove herself from the dog and fall into Marty's arms.
"I'm so happy to be home," she whispers into his chest as he holds her. She is reminded of just that morning, thinking how her concept of home had changed.
"Me, too," he tells her. He holds her a little longer than necessary, but she's not complaining. "How was your day?"
She takes a breath. "Long."
"But you're okay? Everyone you work with is okay?"
She pulls back far enough to meet his eyes. "Yes," she tells him evenly. "Everyone is okay."
He ducks down and kisses her. He makes the world tilt, but she leans back, trusting his strong arms to support her.
When he breaks the kiss, his arms are still around her, holding her close. She feels loved and supported by this perfect man. She can hear Cole's words of advice in the back of her mind. She's exhausted and this probably isn't the right time to start a long conversation. But she's too tired to keep her filters up. She opens her mouth. So does he. They speak at the same time.
"Why are you with me?" She asks.
"I made dinner," he says at the same time.
There is an awkward moment where they both process the others' words.
"I would love dinner," she says.
"What are you talking about?" He asks.
She shakes her head and then runs her hand through her hair. "Just something Cole and I were talking about. He said to just ask…but now is probably not the right time and…"
He considers her for a long moment. And then he presses a kiss to her cheek and tugs her towards the kitchen. "Come and eat. We can talk over dinner."
She follows him easily. It warms her heart, as it always does, that he knows his way around her kitchen.
He has made lasagna, which she knows is his comfort food. It makes her feel a little guilty, that he had needed comfort food after today. She knows she needs to be focused on work when she is on a case, but she wonders if she could have been better at keeping in touch through the day.
She helps him to plate the food and settles across the table from him.
"Okay, let's talk," he says.
She offers him a soft smile. "We don't have to talk tonight. I don't think it's going to be a short conversation."
"I'm not afraid of long conversations," he tells her. He meets her eyes easily. It illustrates for her just how far they have come. He understands she doesn't always find the right words to say. And she feels comfortable trying to work through her thoughts with him.
She takes a breath before getting started.
And to her surprise, it's not a long conversation after all.
"You do so much for me," she tells him. "And I was wondering what I bring to the table?"
There is an extended moment of silence where he says nothing. It makes her continue talking. "I was talking to Cole, and he said men are simple. He said if you're with me, it's for a reason, and if I want to know, I should ask."
Marty chuckles and nods. "Well, your partner is right. All you had to do was ask."
He reaches across the table for her hand, and doesn't speak again until she has placed her hand in his. "Kens, you make me happier than I thought I deserved to be. And you make me feel like I deserve to be this happy."
"You make me happy, too," she tells him. "But you've done so much more for me. I don't feel like this is equal."
He frowns. "I'm not looking to keep score," he tells her.
His words silence her next ones, and then make her laugh.
"I'm sorry. Cole said the same thing; that guys don't keep score."
He smiles. "You should listen to your partner. You make me happy. You make me feel strong. And you accept me like no one has before. I love you, Kensi. But I also feel happy to be me, and I know you love me for me."
"I do," she agrees.
He shrugs. "That's everything I've ever wanted."
His answer is so simple and easy that it steals her words. "But…"
He cocks his head. And then when her words don't come, he smiles. "But nothing, Kensi. I'm happy."
"But my job…"
"Your job is tough," he agrees. "And it took me by surprise. But I still want to make this work."
"When do we know if it's working?" She asks quickly. "You keep saying you want to make this work. When do we know if it works or not?"
"It works," he responds just as quickly. "We're making it work. We already know."
"But…" She trails off again.
He cocks his head and raises an eyebrow.
"But I know my job stresses you. Like today, I know you must have worried." She pokes at the lasagna on her plate. "And I know lasagna is your comfort food."
He squeezes her hand. "I'm always going to worry about you Kensi. I love you, and that comes with worrying about you. But I know why you do what you do. I'm proud of you for doing what you do, even though I have no right to be. You're an amazing and strong person. If anything, I love you more now." He pauses. "And I didn't make comfort food for me. I knew you had a really long day. I made it for you."
His words bring tears to her eyes. "Oh," is all she can say. Her earlier guilt washes away and turns into something else. Gratitude. "It's really good," she whispers.
"You said you were going to work on forgiving yourself, Kensi," he tells her. "I'm going to have to insist that you try a little harder. You deserve to be happy. Let yourself be happy."
The tears in her eyes well and begin to flow down her cheeks. She recalls an earlier conversation with another partner. "Renko said that to me once," she tells him. "You and I were a few months in, and you had just told me about your childhood. I loved you, but I thought it was better for you if I took myself out of your life."
Marty huffs.
She smiles and nods. "He stopped me from doing something stupid. He told me that wasn't fair. He told me I was more than the job, and deserved to be happy. He told me…" She trails off and meets his eyes. "He told me things would work out between you and me. And I believed him."
He smiles softly at her. "It's why you stuck around?"
She nods.
He squeezes her hand and then drops it. He reaches for his glass. "Well that deserves a toast. To Mike Renko. Who gave really good advice, and who I wish I could thank."
She raises her glass and clinks it against his. "To Mike Renko."
They each take a sip and lower their glasses. A comfortable silence falls as they each take some time to eat their dinner.
She's almost finished when she speaks up again. "I know you're okay with my job right now, but will you always be okay? I mean-"
He cuts her off. "I've had people in my life who wanted to change me," he reminds her. "I know the difference between accepting someone right now and really accepting them for good. And I accept you, Kens. Every part of you. I'm not hoping to change you. I'm not hoping you'll get a different job."
"Oh…okay…"
He smiles at her. "I think about our first date sometimes, you know? We joked about being superheroes. Well, I joked about it. You were kind of telling the truth."
"I'm not a superhero," she argues.
"You are to me," he responds easily. "And you always will be."
"That's…crazy," she says, for lack of better response.
He smiles at her, amused. His eyes twinkle.
"This is…crazy." She repeats, still unable to come up with a better word. "It's crazy that we're talking about this so rationally. It's crazy that we're talking about this already."
"It's crazy?" He asks lightly, still amused by her reaction.
"Yes! It's crazy."
He cocks his head and his eyes are suddenly bluer than she's ever seen them. "Is it too crazy for us to get married?"