Two Days Later
"Come on, we're going to be late," Shelby says in exasperation as she pulls on Tammy's coat. "You've got your shoes on the wrong feet," she tells Becky Lynn.
"No, I don't," Becky Lynn says, looking down at them.
"They are," Tammy.
"They feel more comfortable that way," Becky Lynn says stubbornly.
"You can't go to school like that!" Shelby says.
"Mom lets her; she's stubborn," Tammy says.
"Yeah, well ,you guys don't live with your mother anymore," Shelby says, bending down to rip the shoes off her sister's feet.
"Owie!" Becky Lynn protests.
"Sorry, honey," Shelby says softly as she pulls the other shoe of her sister's foot gently. She's remembering now why she wasn't sure if she wanted to be a mother. She's not a patient person. She's not the sort of person who was born for this, and who dreamed about being a mother and played with dolls as a kid.
She puts her sister's foot into the correct shoe, and Tammy Lynn put her hands on her sister's shoulder to balance herself as one foot is off the ground. The unconscious demonstration of trust warms her sister's heart a bit.
Shelby laces up the shoe, "Is it too tight?" she asks softly.
"It's fine," Becky Lynn says, all her anger gone.
"Let's go," Shelby says, grabbing onto the children's hands, knowing that they are going to be even later than they were before. She is constantly underestimating how long it takes to get out of the house when children are involved. She is going to have to start planning to leave the house a lot sooner.
"Shelby," a voice stops her as she opens the door. It's her mother's voice.
"Tammy, take your sister inside, and lock the door," she instructs.
"But Mommy is here," Tammy protests.
"I know. Go."
It's not Tammy who makes the move. It couldn't be. She's not the strong one anymore. Not after she's been hurt. Becky Lynn grabs her sister's hand, and takes a few steps back. It is only when Shelby hears the clicking of the door over to locked that she walks toward her mother.
"I'm their mother. I would not hurt them."
"No, you let other people be the ones that do the hurting, but you certainly don't do anything to stop your kids from getting hurt," Shelby says.
"I didn't know," she says broken.
"I told you."
"And I didn't believe it. I swear to you that if I had really believed he was doing it I never would have let him stay in the house."
"What makes you believe it now?" Shelby asks, sounding almost like she is going to break into tears.
"He admitted it. That bastard admitted that he's been raping my kids for years."
"Well, as long as he confirmed it, now we can believe it. Goodness knows that if it was only your kids telling you that it happened, there was no reason to believe it," Shelby says, voice laced in sarcasm.
"I said that I was sorry. The bastard is gone. I want my kids back."
"You don't deserve them," Shelby says firmly.
"He's gone, the man who abused you is gone. Nothing bad is going to happen to him. I did nothing wrong."
"Nothing wrong? You have picked person after person who abused your daughters, that is almost as bad as abusing them yourself."
"What?"
"God, look at my medical records, Mom! The staple in my head when I was two?"
"That was an accident!"
"Bullshit. And what about the broken arm?"
"You fell."
"Twice in six months?"
"You fell," Shelby's mother says more sternly.
"Mom, I'm telling you, growing up in that house was hell. That's why I left when I was fourteen. The only reason I stayed that long is because I was making sure that those kids were untouched. And then I started to trust. I started to think that you'd settled on a loser, and that this particular loser was never going to hurt his own children. If I thought for a second that those children were going to go through hell, I never would have left them there. And I sure as hell am not sending them back to you."
The women stands before her, looking broken and weary, "It was hell?"
Some part of Shelby wants to take pity on her. To comfort her, and tell her that things weren't so bad as all of that. But that part of her is very small, and it has been worn out be betrayal after betrayal, so there isn't enough of the feeling of sympathy to actually lead to action.
"I'm sorry," Shelby's mom says. Shelby never would have imagined that a single word would have done anything by way of healing her. But she feels something warm inside of her.
"I appreciate that, but I'm not going to take a chance on you hurting the kids again."
"You shouldn't," she says quickly, "You plan on keeping those kids?"
"They're my sisters," Shelby says.
"But you wanta keep 'em right?" Shelby's mother says, looking everywhere but in her daughter's face.
"Yeah," Shelby says. She may be worried about the fact that she's not prepared for motherhood. She's really worried that she might end up being the worst mother in the history of motherhood. But she's sure that she wants to do this.
Those girls leaving her house now would be like the losing of a limb.
They might annoy her. She might miss free time, and her husbands' full attention.
But it was better than living without them. Anything was better than living without them.
Her mother smiles "I never wanted kids. And then you came out. And you were so great. I thought I could love you. I thought I could be a good mother. I thought that if I just wanted it enough, it would come…"
Shelby feels like she is about to throw up with how closely this description matches her own story.
"But at some point you have to realize that you're beat. I'm a shitty mom. I shoulda given you all up when you were born. There woulda been plenty of nice ritch folks that woulda taken in a baby. Now it's too late for that. But at least you can take up. I know that you'll take good job of it."
"I'll try," Shelby says, now even more uncertain about her parenting abilities.
"You're going to do fine. I'll give away my rights. You just gotta bring the papers to me, 'cause I'm not smart enough to write that kinda stuff up, and I'm not dealing with no lawyer."
"Thank you," Shelby says with a weak smile.
"I'll take off now so that you can get the girls to school."
Shelby nods her head, and then just stands there in shock, staring at her mother as she drives away.
Shelby opens the door to find the two girls still standing in the entry way. She wonders if they heard everything that was said. She isn't even sure if she hopes they did or didn't. The line about never wanting kids, probably wouldn't be the best thing for them to hear. But maybe they needed to know that their mother wishes that she was a better mother as desperately as they did.
"Are you ok?" Becky Lynn asks.
Shelby nods her head, but she isn't even sure if that is true. Mostly she just feels sort of numb and shocked.
"So Mom said she doesn't want us?" Tammy asks.
Shelby kneels down to look her sister in the eye. Tammy has grown since the last time that she did this. She is now looking up at her sister when she is on her knees. "No, you mother said that she wanted to keep you. She wanted to keep you with all of her heart. But she knew that wasn't what was best for you. She knew that it would be far better for you if she let you go. So she decided to sacrifice herself, and let you stay with me."
Tammy quivers, "Is that ok with you?"
"Of course!" Shelby exclaims, enveloping her sister in a hug.
"We get to stay here? Forever?" Becky Lynn says starting to jump up and down.
"Yes, sweetie, now we are really, really, really, late, and we have to get the two of you to school before the whole day is over!" Shelby explains.
Three Days Later
It probably wasn't the woman's job. No, Shelby was pretty certain that this was far out of the woman's job description. But she was unbelievably grateful that the woman was willing to do it anyway.
"This is the form that your mother needs to sign. She's going to have to do it in front of a notary," the social worker says.
"Thanks, I'll take care of it," Shelby assures the women taking the forms out of her hand.
"I could take care of it if it's too painful for you," the social worker offers again.
"It's ok. This is a lot less than what I thought I was going to have to do to get custody of the girls. I'm happy to do this little thing."
The Next Night
Teal'c wanted to ask how the outing went as soon as Shelby returned from it three hours ago. But he knows that the little girls didn't know that Shelby went to see her mother. They are secure in the knowledge that they will be living with Teal'c and Shelby forever. He finds himself worried that this might not actually be happening, and certainly doesn't want to bring it up in front of the youngsters if it isn't.
It is only when the two of them are alone in their bedroom that he brings it up for the first time.
"Did your mother withdraw her previously made offer?"
"No, she signed the paper," Shelby says.
"In that case, we should have had a celebration during dinner."
"I didn't want to celebrate quite yet. I just want to make sure that this is permanent. Because if we turn this in and sign it, there is no going back."
"You are uncertain that you want to permanently provide care to your sisters?" he asks. He thought they had already settled this issue. Jaffa do not often change their minds, and he is unused to the way that humans must discuss things several times before they come to any decision that lasts.
"No, I'm in this. I might not be the perfect mom, but I'm what they've got, and I'm better than what they had."
"Then I do not understand your reluctance."
"I just wanted to make sure that you are ok with this."
"I have said on previous occasions that I am," Teal'c replies.
"Right, but you left Ryac."
"I have no intention to leave you," she says walking closer to her, and running the rough back of his hand across her cheek.
"So are you saying that you did have an intention to leave your son?"
"Of course not," Teal'c says.
"Than how can I trust you not to leave this time?" Shelby asks.
"I will not."
"But how do I know that?"
"Dray'auc would not have come with me to Earth."
"You didn't even ask her," Shelby whines.
"I did not need to ask her. When you have spent three decades married to someone, you can predict what answer they might have to any question."
"So why wouldn't you leave me?"
His mouth twists up in the tinniest smile. "You are far more noble than Dray'ac is."
"I don't know what you mean," she says.
"If I were to present you with two options: one of which entailed leaving every bit of comfort you were used to… our house, our money, or position in society, but which involved the morally correct course of action; the other of which entailed keeping those things and continuing to do wrong, you would choose the right."
"Of course."
"Dray'auc would not make that choice. She would not have followed me to Earth."
"So you're just assuming that I would follow you to another planet?"
"Am I incorrect in this assessment?"
"No," she says.
He looks at her with more love coming into his eyes than is common for Jaffa.
"But I don't really want to go to another planet."
"We will not unless it becomes necessary to preserve our moral integrity."
"Right, or maybe someday when the Goa'uld are gone and the Jaffa are free, we'll take the girls offworld to live."
"I am certain that the children will be grown and on their own by the time that the Jaffa nation is free."
"That might be true, but working toward the freedom of the Jaffa would not be a bad way to spend our lives."