"Mama, why Ben get bath in the sink?"

"Because it's easier this way," she replied, carefully rinsing Ben's hair.

"He not like a bath."

"No, he doesn't. I think he just feels cold though."

"When we leave?"

"In a little while, as soon as he's dried off and dressed."

"I wanna see granna and papa."

"I know. Why don't you go and clean up your trains in your room and get your shoes on and then we might be ready to go."

"Okay!" he agreed, climbing off the chair and running into his room. She smiled and gave Ben one final rinse and took him out of the plastic tub, wrapping him in a big fuzzy towel. He stared at her, squinting against the light as she took him in the other room and dried him off before putting a diaper on him. He stared at her solemnly, his eyes locked on her face.

"Hi Benjamin," she said, noting a flicker of recognition on his face. He didn't seem to respond to just "Ben" but he did seem to know his whole name, so that is what she used. "Why don't we put you on your tummy for a minute while I find you some clothes."

She watched him closely, making sure he didn't faceplant into the ground while finding him an outfit from the folded laundry in the basket. He just laid there, his head turned to the side, fussing because he couldn't see her. She chuckled and picked him up, dressing him quickly and putting a hat on his bald head. He wasn't actually completely bald, but he had received nearly white-blonde hair from somewhere in the family tree, causing his head to look more round than it actually was. Adam had taken to calling him Prince Toadstool. He snuggled into her, his eyes drooping in exhaustion, for fighting his bath was hard work. It took a few minutes to wrap him in blankets and get him buckled in his seat, and by the time she did, Colton was coming out of his room with the hood of his coat on his head, and his shoes on the wrong feet.

"Let's go, mama!"

"Can you put your coat on all the way?"

He nodded and put his coat on the floor, bending down to put his arms through the sleeves, then flipping the whole thing over his head and letting it slide down to rest on his shoulders.

"That how cool kids do it, mama."

"Who taught you that?"

"Unca Danny. Isa do it too."

"Why am I not surprised?"

"I dunno."

She chuckled and put her own coat on, making sure she had her keys and money for parking and the diaper bag and pretty much half of everything they owned that she might possibly need in the two hours they could feasibly be away from home. With Ben's carseat on one arm and Colton's hand in her free one they made their way downstairs.

"Mama, why we drive daddy's car?"

"Because it's bigger and we needed a bigger car today."

He nodded and sat back in his seat, buckling himself in and picking up the toy that had been left in the seat next to him. Pretty soon they were on the road, the heater on full blast and Colton chattering as they drove, commenting on everything he saw out the window.

"Mama, we go Au'tin's?" he asked as they passed Austin and Danny's building.

"No, not today buddy. We'll see them for a little while in a few days."

"When?"

"On Christmas eve. Remember you're going to help me make cookies to take over to Mac's and we're all going to have dinner."

"Oh yeah. Stella be there?"

"No, she had to go back home."

"Um, Flack be there?"

"Yeah, probably."

"And Hawkes?"

She chuckled and nodded, thinking it funny how most kids his age had friends their own age. He was more concerned to see her co-workers.

"Hawkes should be there too."

"And Jo?"

"Yep."

"And Jess too?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"And mama and daddy and Colton and Ben and Au'tin and Danny and Isa and Sa'ah and Junior?"

"Yes, that's everyone."

"It be fun, mama."

She smiled and looked in the rearview mirror at him. He was staring out the window with a sort of contented look on his face, as if all was right in his little world. He was quiet the rest of the way to the airport, smiling as he watched the city pass before his eyes.

Once they got inside the airport however, he started to panic at the crowds of people, holding onto her hand with both of his and practically climbing up her leg out of fright. She wanted to pick him up, but her hands were full, so she settled for finding a seat along the wall of baggage claim, putting Ben's seat on the floor and rocking it with her foot while Colton buried himself in her.

"Is it too loud in here?"

"Uh-huh," he said with a nod, his thumb sliding into his mouth.

"It won't be much longer. We just have to wait for granna and papa and then we can go."

"Okay."

"Hey buddy can you see the man with the purple hat?"

"Where?"

"Somewhere right over there."

He scanned the crowd seriously for a minute, then practically launched out of her arms.

"I see, I see!"

"How about the girl with the pink backpack?"

"She right there, mama!"

"You're good at this game."

"You see the doggie?"

"Where?"

"Over there mama! Look!"

"I don't see it. You stumped me."

"It on the picture!" he said, pointing to one of the advertisements on the wall.

"Oh you stinker!"

He giggled and stood up, clapping his hands.

"It papa! It papa!"

"Well go get him."

"Papa!" he shouted, running and crashing into his grandfather's legs.

"Hey there little mister."

"Come see my baby."

"Oh, okay."

"Hi granna! You see my baby too okay?"

"That sounds like a good plan," she said, lifting him into her arms and giving him a hug. "You've gotten too big for me. Are you already ten years old?"

"No, granna, I three! Ben is zero."

She chuckled as they made their way over to Lindsay and Ben.

"Hi daddy," she greeted, loving when he gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head.

"Hey baby girl. How're you doing?"

"We're good. How was your flight?"

"There's a reason I never leave Montana."

"That bad huh?"

"Plane seats are not made for people over five foot ten. Luckily you never will have that problem."

"Shut up daddy."

"Mama, we no say that!" Colton said indignantly, his hand on his hip.

"Whoops, I'm sorry. I'll try not to do it again."

"Okay. Granna, look in there, see Ben! He sleepin'."

"Yeah, he is," Anne said, crouching down to look at him.

"Mama say he look like me."

"He does, a little bit. I think he looks like your mama."

"No, he a boy, granna."

She chuckled and kissed his cheek.

"Linds, I'm not totally sure, but I'm mostly sure that this son of yours is quite possibly packing heat," Dale announced. He'd been sitting there silently holding Ben on the couch for the last ten minutes and these were the first words he had spoken since they arrived home.

"So you're going to change his diaper, right?"

"No."

Glaring, she got off the couch and went into the boys room for a diaper. What she found besides the diaper and wipes was Colton's trains on the floor, the ones she had asked him to pick up before they left.

"Colton, what did I ask you to do this morning?"

"Um…"

"Was it something in your room?"

"Yeah."

"And when I asked you if you had cleaned up your trains, you told me yes."

He nodded, remembering that that was a lie and not doing what he was asked could also mean he was in trouble.

"You need to go sit on your bed for three minutes for lying."

"But mama, I playin'!"

"I know, but you lied to me, so you need a consequence."

"No!"

"Yes. Go set your timer."

He sighed and got up, stomping into the kitchen to set the timer on the oven. She waited for his door to slam, but when it closed normally, she took Ben from her dad and started to change his diaper.

"That is the most mild time-out I have ever seen," Anne commented with a raised eyebrow. "Making him set his own time, is that like having him cut his own switch?"

"Yeah."

"It seems he's done this a time or two."

"We've been having a lying problem lately. He gets sent to time out for it a lot."

"Gee, I wonder where he gets that?"

"I will admit, I was quite the little liar myself. However, I always felt guilty and spilled my guts. He's not always aware he's lying until he's caught."

"Yeah, we always liked to sit there and watch you torture yourself over it. Better punishment than we could have given you."

"Then why did you always punish me afterwards too?"

"Well, you had to learn."

Sighing, she finished Ben's diaper and handed him back to her dad before going in the kitchen to wash her hands. The timer still had a minute left, and she returned to the couch just in time to see Ben's face scrunch up. They'd noticed that if he went too long without Lindsay holding him, he tended to get a little upset. She took him back from her dad, wrapping another blanket around him and settling back into the cushions as the timer in the kitchen went off. Colton's door opened and he shuffled across the floor, turning the timer off and then walking out to stand in front of her.

"Do you know why you got sent to your room?"

"For lie. And not obey."

"And what else?"

"Not respectin' mama."

"What did you learn?"

"I not lie. It bad."

"Do you have anything else you need to say?"

"I sorry. I try better."

"Now I just have one question left for you."

He grinned and looked up at her, meeting her eyes happily because he knew what was coming next.

"Do you know how much I love you?"

"Yep! More than all the stars!" he said, climbing up next to her. "I get hugs and kissies now?"

"Only if I can have hugs and kisses too."

Giggling, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her.

"I play now?"

"Yep, go ahead."

He went back to the toy he had been playing with before, happy that it was all forgotten and his only responsibility was to try his hardest not to do the same thing again. It seemed simple in his mind, but he knew it was a hard task. He wasn't sure what he was doing wrong, he just knew it was wrong and he was determined to never make his mama or daddy disappointed in him again. Of course they never stayed mad, never even raised their voices at him, but he could tell when they weren't thrilled with the way he acted.

The door opened and he shot off the floor, ecstatic that his favorite part of the day was finally here. Daddy was home.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!"

"Hey buddy," Adam said, crouching down to gather his son in his arms. "How was your day?"

"I play. Mama say I can watch Superman. It scary. And Ben go potty all over and mama said a bad word."

"Oh she did, did she?"

"Uh-huh. We go get granna and papa too. I get in time out."

"Did you say sorry?"

"Yep. Then you come home! We play Star Wars now?"

"Maybe in a little bit. I need to change my clothes."

"You have mess on your shirt daddy."

"That's what happens when Danny starts talking with his hands."

"Like this?" Colton asked, flapping his hands in the classical chatterbox motion. "Like you say mama and Au'tin do?"

He looked up at Lindsay who shot him a playful glare.

"Looks like daddy's in trouble now."

"You're smilin'."

"I'm smiling because I'm going to tell Austin."

"Oh great. I'm dead meat."

"For the dinosaurs!" Colton agreed with a grin. "Roar!"

"Shh, indoor roaring only."

"Roar," Colton repeated quietly, raising his hands up like claws. Adam laughed and ruffled his hair, glad to be home.

"Papa, you read a story to me?"

Dale smiled and pulled his grandson into his lap, opening the book Colton had brought with him.

"Your mama's been reading you Mother West Wind?"

"Chug-a-rum!"

"I bet that's your favorite part."

"Chug-a-rum, chug-a-rum!" he repeated, pointing to the page. "This one, papa."

"Why Sammy Jay Has A Fine Coat."

"Sammy Jay have fine coat," Colton nodded.

Anne smiled from her spot on the couch, then gathered up the ice-cream bowls and headed into the kitchen. She stopped in the doorway for the scene that played out before her was not one that could survive an interruption.

Adam was sitting at the table, apparently in the middle of paying bills, but Lindsay had plonked down in his lap, her arms loosely around his neck. He looked quite pleased with the distraction, and Anne leaned against the wall as she watched them.

They were holding a whispered conversation, full of chuckles and deep staring into each other's eyes, totally tuning out the rest of the world. Adam reached up and brushed Lindsay's hair away from her face and she smiled down at him, her eyes so full of love and pride that Anne almost had to take a step back. She had never seen something like this, not even close. She wondered how they had found it, a love that was seemingly heads and shoulders above all others. Maybe it was just chance, fate, the collision of time and reason that culminated in the beauty she saw before her. Or maybe it was more deliberate than that. Maybe they had committed so deeply from the beginning and had laid themselves bare before each other, holding nothing back, giving and taking in perfect harmony. It was a love that she had never given herself, and for as wonderful a man as she had married, could not remember ever feeling either. It wasn't a bad thing, it didn't mean she hadn't found her soulmate, but it did make her love her husband more.

She stood there for a while longer, taking it all in before clearing her throat and taking the dishes to the sink. They didn't move from their spots at her entrance, just smiled up at her as if it was the most normal thing in the world, as if they were always like this. Who was she kidding, they probably always were like this.

"Mama, my story over," Colton announced, coming into the room dragging his sock monkey by the tail.

"Do you want me to tuck you in?"

"Lotsa snuggles," he requested, rubbing his eyes and resting his head on her knee.

"Lots and lots," she agreed, lifting him up into her arms. "Say goodnight to daddy."

"Night daddy."

"Goodnight son. I'll see you in the morning. I love you."

"I love daddy."

Lindsay stood up and took Colton to his room, tucking him in and laying down beside him. He yawned and spun a strand of her hair around his finger.

"Mama, what doin' tomorrow?"

"I'm not sure yet, we'll have to wait and see."

"We can go outside?"

"It's kind of cold, but maybe we can."

"Mama?"

"Yes?"

"You stay in here?"

"I'll stay until you fall asleep."

He scooted closer to her and reached up to trace her face with his tiny hand.

"You pretty."

"I am?"

"Uh-huh. And beautiful, like daddy say."

"Thank you."

"I love you mostest mama."

"Really?"

"Yep. I love you more than daddy do."

"I don't know about that, bud."

"I do mama," he said with a sleepy nod. "I go night-night."

His eyes fluttered closed and he let out one last sigh before venturing into dreamland. Lindsay held him close and watched him sleep, thinking again, as she did every night, that she was the luckiest woman in the world. She stayed a few minutes more, then leaned down and kissed his forehead before standing up and leaving the room.

Her mom was in the kitchen finishing the dishes, Adam nowhere to be found.

"Mama, you don't have to do that."

"Oh hush, I might as well."

"Where's Adam?"

"Taking the garbage out. Without being asked."

"Yeah, I know I'm spoiled."

"And I'm jealous."

"Oh whatever, daddy spoils you all the way to rotten and back again."

"No, it's not that…"

"What?"

"You're a better mother than I ever was," Anne confessed, looking down at the suds in the sink.

"Mom, that's not true."

"Yes it is. I never had as much patience as you do. I don't think I said I love you or gave as many hugs to the four of you in a week or even a month as you did with the boys today."

"We knew."

"Yes but… I think I missed out on a lot. Like tonight during dinner when Colton wanted to tell you a story, you tuned out the rest of the conversation and listened to him. I never would have done that. Or how you went in there and laid down with him. You didn't just tuck him in, you actually took a few minutes just to be with him. I never did that. And my life never moved nearly as fast as yours. And I never hugged you kids either. Do you remember one time when I held you like you hold him?"

"Mama, we were different. It's not wrong, it's just how we were."

"But I missed out. You missed out."

"If you had been like that when I was little I would have hated it. I wasn't affectionate like that for a long time. Not until Adam. I had to get over it because he's very much that way. And it was totally comfortable with him. Never thought about it. So I guess it translates to the way we raise the boys and how we are together. But that doesn't mean that how you raised me was wrong."

"Didn't you feel like we didn't love you as much?"

"Mom, there were things that happened in life that were a little more detrimental than the fact that you didn't hug us every day."

"That was rather pointed," Anne said, putting the last dish in the rack. "You still hold that against me? Taking off like I did?"

"I never held it against you. I mean maybe at the time and maybe a little when I was older, but now I understand it more."

"I wasn't running from you."

"You were gone for a year. I know now that it was because of the depression. I know that you were scared and I know you didn't want to hurt us. But back then… mom I was four. I didn't know why you left and why you never called. But when it comes down to it, it didn't mean you loved us less. We all knew that. And you did come back."

"I guess I'm just feeling guilty."

"Why?"

"I watch you with your sons and I can see how much you love them. It just about hits you in the face when you watch it. But I have to wonder if anyone ever saw that with us."

"Maybe, maybe not. But it doesn't matter, because me and the boys, we all knew it. You're allowed to stop feeling guilty."

"Okay."

"I mean right now mom. Right this second."

"Alright, alright," Anne said, shaking her head. They had never had that conversation before, never even talked about that year when her depression was so bad she travelled the country alone and couldn't bear to return to the ranch.

"Is daddy asleep in there?"

"Yeah. Show me a recliner and I'll show you your father sleeping."

"Never fails."

"Lindsay?"

"Yeah?"

"I just want you to know… you're a wonderful mother."

"Thanks mama."