Guuuys! I'm so sorry for this super late update. I hope school is a valid enough reason for my delay. :)
Thank you for all of your helpful reviews. I think I shall make it up to you by posting another chapter next week, eh?
Have you all forgotten this story already? I hope not.
Here's another chapter :))
Few months passed, and Ben is living a merry life- or that's what he makes himself believe. His wife has been more hands on than before, regarding household chores. She has been cleaning more often and trying to cook, but he still does the washing of the clothes. When Lucy tried to do the laundry, she just complained all day of how it hurts her back.
But, he is not only thankful for the decrease of house works, he is also happy with how his relationship with his wife is going. Lucy is not lying when she said that they will start anew. She has completely forgiven him, and has not mentioned anything about his past mistakes- not even once.
Lucy has been trying her best to please him; it's as if she's the one who did something wrong. It's making him feel guilty, but of course, he's also doing what he can, to make her happy- that's the least that he could do, after all. They are both working to build their relationship, and they are getting good results.
There are times though, that he cannot help but think about Nellie. He always wonders what she is doing, or how is she, or if she's still mad at him. He knows that just one trip downstairs and he'll get the answers for his questions, but he can't bring himself to approach her. Well, he'll be honest and admit that it is because he is scared. Yes, he is afraid to see her. For after all these time that they are apart, he still has feelings for her. He still likes her- more than ever before.
He is wrong, very wrong. He is not confused about his feelings for his best friend, in fact, he is very sure. It's just that, he does not want to admit it to himself. He is a married man, and it is not acceptable to feel something for Nellie. He must only have affection for his wife, and only her. So, he avoids his best friend, hoping that it will vanish what he feels for her. He is not successful though.
Nellie is always in his mind. She manages to worm her away inside his brain and stay there. He often tries to block her, to not think of her, but his memories of her are stubborn. He always remembers how she takes care of him, give him advices, and cook for him- all the things she does for him.
Sometimes, it makes him feel bad, to be thinking about his best friend, but it's the only way that he can see her- in his mind. He misses her a lot; he has not seen her ever since the ball. He sometimes glances outside the window, in hopes that he will get a chance to catch a sight of her, but no, it is David whom he always manages to see; and it makes him angry.
His anger is really because of jealousy. Instead of him, it is now David who is always at Nellie's side. He now has a replacement; he bets that the man is now the one whom his best friend confides in. Hell, maybe David is now Nellie's best friend or maybe they are now… lovers. Yes, can be; out of spite, the baker must have chosen to forget about him and settle with that man, who doesn't hurt her.
Anger again fills his senses, as he pictures David being around his Nellie. He doesn't want to think about what is between them anymore, it only infuriates him. He rather focuses his attention on his wife, who is in the kitchen, cooking. He smiles as he listens to her, humming a soft tune while she stirs the pot. He remembers how his best friend always loves to sing as she cooks, too.
Now, he cannot help but compare the two. His best friend knows her way around the kitchen, and serves him foods that are really delectable. Meanwhile, his wife, though she tries so hard, cannot really perfect any dish. With Lucy, he always ends up eating the burnt or raw food that she prepared.
Nellie is very independent; she does everything without needing any help from other people. She is alone, yet, she can protect herself. She can handle those nasty customers that she sometimes has in her shop. She is chatty and friendly with anyone, as long as she finds them trustworthy.
Lucy, on the other hand, always needs guidance; she cannot act on anything without the help of others. Also, she is gullible; she trusts people too easily even when they look suspicious. She can be a snub, too. She does not easily mingle with people whom she thinks are not worthy of her attention. They both have contradicting personalities.
He is stopped from his musings as Lucy puts down their breakfast in front of him. He almost cringes as the not-so-appealing smell of it hits him. He looks down on the food- toasts and eggs; today is the day for burnt food. He waits for his wife to settle across him before he takes a bite on the extra crunchy bread, avoiding grimacing.
"It's quite burnt, but still good, eh?" Lucy asks, smiling expectantly at her husband.
Ben pushes himself to swallow it, managing a smile after. He nods at his wife a little too enthusiastically, holding up a piece of toast. It's unfair, he thinks. Lucy does not eat what she cooks, she only drinks tea. It is only when he is the one who prepared the meal does she eats. If only she will taste what she cooked, then she will know.
They silently eat together. They never really like to talk during the mornings. They are content with listening to the birds chirping outside. Before Ben can finish his meal, in which he really does not have any intention of finishing, his wife is already leaving for work.
"I'll be going now, my love. I will see you later." Lucy stands up from her seat after finishing her tea. She walks over to Ben, giving him a kiss on the cheek.
Ben does not have the chance to say good bye to her; she is already out before he even manages to utter a word. He sighs, slumping down his chair. He hates how she still won't stop working for the judge. If he stopped seeing his best friend, she should stop seeing Turpin, too! It's not fair.
He tried talking to Lucy, but she won't change her mind, she said. Her reasons for staying are that it gives them extra income and she enjoys having to do something. He suggested going to the park every other day, but she still won't budge. She only told him that he won't understand what she feels when at work. Well, she will never understand how much he hates for her to be with that judge.
He gathers the plates and cups, putting them to the sink to wash for later. Right now, he'll open his shop. It's Monday, so he is sure to receive plenty of customers; people usually come by at the start of the week. He does his daily ritual: polishing and sharpening his razors and mixing up the lather.
After he is sure that all is set and ready, he goes over to the door and flips the sign from close to open. He walks back to his barber chair, taking a seat. Right now, all he has to do is to wait for someone who will need his services.
As he waits for customers to come, he lets his thoughts consume him. He remembers how he used to spend his mornings with Nellie. She will always have breakfast ready for him, and they will eat together. There are also times where they will be too engrossed with chatting that they will forget to open their shops.
Well, now, he is stuck with wishful thinking. He imagines that his relationship with his best friend is still okay, that he hasn't said those hurtful things to her. Maybe, if he did not mess up, then they will be in her parlor now, talking about silly stuffs. She likes to pick names for their baby, they still haven't decided on any name that they like.
In three months' time, she is dated to give birth to their child. He really wants to check up on her, just see how she is doing. He wants to be involved and be at her side when she is in labor. It is his responsibility to be there. He cannot let her just go through it alone. He has heard from several women how hard it is to give birth.
He really hopes that he will soon find the courage to talk to her. He wants to ask for her forgiveness and reconcile with her. He cannot take anymore of not talking to her or not seeing her. Maybe he should go to her now? As long as he is delaying talking to her, the more she will forget about him. Yes, he will approach her now.
With a strong determination planted on his face, he stands up. But, just as he is about to exit his shop, a customer comes in. he looks over the entrance, and sees that it's not just any regular customer. This one has only been in his shop today, though he knows him already. This one's name is David.
Seeing him makes his blood boil. He is gripping the back of the barber chair so hard, that his knuckle is turning white. How dare this man step foot in his home! He is not welcome here!
"What are you doing here?" his voice is cold when he asks him, glaring daggers at the man.
David smirks, raising an eyebrow. "Is that how you treat your customers, Mr. Barker? Not very welcoming, eh?"
"What do you want?" Ben asks through gritted teeth. Is it really possible to hate people this much? He knows that David did nothing wrong to him, but he just wants to tackle the man to the ground and beat him to unconsciousness.
"I came here for a shave, and to talk to you." the man replies, already sitting himself on the barber chair.
This has gotten Ben's attention. What does he want to talk to him about? Is this a matter concerning Nellie? His anger fades and is slowly replaced by worry. His mind is instantly attacked by thoughts that are of his child and its mother. Are they both alright?
He does not notice that he has still has not moved from his position, completely ignoring David. He only comes out of his trance when the man calls his name, sounding rather irritated. But, instead of being annoyed, he finds himself asking. "Is Nellie alright?"
Rather than answering him, David positions himself comfortably on the chair. He leans back, tilting his head back a bit. "I want my shave first Mr. Barker, and then we'll talk later."
He does not have any choice but to comply. He put a cloth around David's neck to prevent the cream from spreading to his clothes. Then, he lathers the man's face and proceeds to give him the quickest and cleanest shave he will ever have.
It has taken him a lot of effort not to plunge his razor on David's neck. Really, he is no criminal, but there's just something about this man that makes him willing to go to prison just to vanish his existence. Maybe it's the fact that David is now a replacement of his from being Nellie's best friend. And once again, it's really mostly because of jealousy.
After he is done, he takes away the cloth from David's neck, pulling on it a little forcefully, and then throwing it aside. He walks in front of the man, not letting him stand from his seat; crossing his arms, he raises his eyebrow in question.
David slumps down on his seat. His head hanging low as he speaks. Sadness is evident in his voice. "Did you know how much you hurt Eleanor?"
Taken aback, Ben gapes at the man in front of him. He is rendered speechless; his mouth is opening and closing, but there's no sound coming out. He does not know the purpose of David in asking this question, and he also does not have answer for him. He does not really know the extent of how much he hurt Nellie by his stupid actions. Well, he has not seen her or he has not even talked to her. He just assumed that she feels rather mad, than hurt.
"Ever since what happened after the ball, she has been different. She has been hiding what she really feels behind her smiles. They are not genuine; they are only for pretend. She may have fooled other people, but not me. I know and I feel that she is still affected by what you did, even though she tells me otherwise."
David is now looking at Ben with hateful eyes. He is digging his nails on the armrest of the chair so hard that it will surely leave marks. "It was your entire fault. You, who call yourself her best friend, you hurt her so deeply. You insensitive bastard! No matter how hard I try to make her forget about you, she cannot bring herself to do it. No matter how much I try to show my love for her, you're still the one she loves!"
David is now standing up, face to face with the shocked Benjamin. His fists are clenched, ready to strike, though the barber takes no notice of this. He is still processing what the man has said. Nellie loves him? But, what about that man that she's always talking about? Does that mean that, it was him all this time?
"Nellie… l-loves me?" he asks timidly. He still cannot believe what the man has said.
"Yes! She loves you, very much! And you are too blind to see it!" David is now screaming at Benjamin, pointing his finger on the barber's chest.
Ben turns away from the angry man, standing by the window. He still does not know what to say. His best friend loves him? Why did she keep her feelings for him? She could have said it. Maybe David is just saying this just to make him feel guiltier. He refuses to believe him, unless it is Nellie herself that will tell him.
"I don't believe you." Ben says; he turns around to face David shaking his head. "You're lying. Nellie told me she loves other man- she told me that countless times. You're making this up. If she really loves me, she would have told me."
"Just because she didn't tell you herself, that doesn't mean that she doesn't love you. If you don't believe me, then you really are a fool, Benjamin Barker. Considering all the things she'd done for you, and you'd tell me she doesn't love you?"
David laughs bitterly. "But it's alright, you don't deserve her anyway. She's too good for you. I just hope that she'll realize that sooner."
With that, David walks off the shop, leaving Benjamin to his thoughts.
Gosh! David does not have the right to say what Nellie feels for Ben, right? He was wrong to do that!
Anyway, I would gladly kill Ben if he didn't do anything about this new revelation. He really should talk to our poor baker now. Do ya'll agree?
Reviews are L.O.V.E. :)))