AN: Lyric for this chapter: "I'm so much older than I can take."
Elena is so sick of crying. She sends Elijah away because her reaction will hurt both of them and she can't take that. She can hurt herself, but she can't hurt him.
Caroline finds her with her eyes closed, a happy song playing. The entire mind palace is shaking with the noise.
"What are you doing?" Caroline asks. It isn't celebrating, there are too many glass bottles on the floor for that.
"I'm in denial. I need to have that for a day, okay? Our best friend is dying and I shouldn't feel happy at all. Caroline, I felt happy at the news. I'm a monster." Elena says and Caroline asks if she's going to get up from the floor. Elena shakes her head. Caroline moves a few of the bottles and Elena asks what she's doing.
"I'm not leaving you." Caroline says simply, and they stay on the floor for a while. Bonnie isn't their best friend, too much time has passed for Elena's words to be true, but they're both starting to mourn the missed opportunities and chances. Elena wonders if that's all there is to being a vampire, other than the blood.
Caroline leaves when she needs to eat, Elena's sure she doesn't want to be stuck in the bed next to her, an IV in her arm too.
Elena closes her eyes.
Elijah forgets that he doesn't need to breathe when he finds the house flooded and shaking with the beat of the song she's playing.
"Elena." He says.
"I'll deal with everything tomorrow. Please just give me today." She asks. He nods, and decides he'll show her next day.
Caroline just tugs him off the bed and they walk out of the house and to get cupcakes.
They're all asleep, and Elena's close to it too when she walks into a flooded mind palace.
"I need to show you something." Freya says and tells her that midnight passed, so she did get the day to spend in denial.
"Where are we going?" Elena asks, soaking wet. The house stills as the music pauses.
"A memory of mine." Freya says and takes Elena's hand. She waits for the sensation to stop and Elena frowns when her eyes open.
"This is where we are physically." She says and Freya nods.
She follows the witch to a familiar looking room, and she looks at everything but the person on the bed.
"Elena. Look at yourself." Freya commands and her head turns.
"That's me?" She asks. She looks dead and young at the same time.
"It is."Freya confirms and she holds Elena for a moment as her hair shrinks in length. The wrinkles disappear. They return to Elena's mind palace, although the blonde doubts Elena notices.
"Elijah! Elijah wake up!" She says, giving him a short push.
"What is it?" He asks, with a sleep rough voice. He's out of bed before she can answer, and listens. It's not an attack against their family, everyone is sleeping peacefully. Freya pauses for a moment before she answers.
"It's Elena." He's gone before she can finish saying the name.
He finds her in a closet, curled up in the dark. No possibility of a reflective surface here.
"I feel so much older than I look." She confesses as he moves to sit next to her.
"I know." He says simply. It's part of being a vampire but she hasn't had the ability to look at herself and know that her body wouldn't change, she wouldn't age like any other vampire would.
"I feel horrible for feeling excited." She whispers and he just pulls her closer in the cramped space.
"You can't help it." He murmurs.
"I wish I could." She admits and he nods.
They talk, about Caroline and Bonnie, things they knows and then the unknown and it feels like a few hours.
"Freya tricked me." He says and she nods.
"She tricked me too. She knew I needed to do this and she knew you'd come running." There's no accusation there, no expectation or weight to the words.
"Indeed." He says.
"Are you still planning to show me the world when I get out of here?" She asks after the comfortable silence has gone too long for the question that's been on her mind for a while.
"Of course." He says and they start planning. She feels like a bird in a cage, with the most morbid timer counting down her freedom. Or maybe Elijah's like the lawyer who works on getting her out of prison. He does wear the suits after all. In another life, she could see him with a briefcase fighting with words and the law.
Only Elijah could have found her, she thinks. The door she created for this room looked fake, she thought she'd have hours before anyone came looking or found her. But he just knew, like he always did. It took under a minute.
He gets up and takes her hand and opens the door. The light is blinding and she closes her eyes for a moment and then she looks at him.
"You're in your pajamas." She says and he looks down and lets out a laugh.
"It was urgent after all." He says and she asks him to dream with her, to keep them light until he's needed in the real world. He rarely can find it in himself to deny her anything after all, and he nods to that. Of course he will.
Things aren't okay, not really, but they're better.