"Isabeth Grace Messer, don't you dare throw that food."
Isa looked at Austin, then back at Colton, grinning devilishly before launching a handful of peas across the table. Colton hooted with laughter and lobbed a piece of meat right back at her.
"Colton!"
"Isa do it first," he said, picking up his garlic bread in defense of the spaghetti noodle Isa chucked at him.
"I don't think we can fight it," Danny said, deflecting a pea.
"The children have spoken."
"FOOD FIGHT!"
The adults all jumped right into the fray, throwing their food mostly at the kids, as they would be easier to clean up. By the time all the food had left the plates, Colton, Isa and Sarah were covered from head to toe in spaghetti, peas, bread and pieces of brownie.
"I think," Austin began, wiping her hands on a free napkin. "Some little kids around here need a bath."
"I agree," Lindsay chuckled, fishing a pea out of Sarah's nose.
"I also think that maybe some daddies who started the throwing of the spaghetti on the ceiling should be in charge of cleaning up the battlefield."
"You know Austin, you're technically taller than me," Danny said. "You should be the one to clean the ceiling."
"You're not going to do baths, Daniel. Last time you were in charge the girls ate soap and pooped bubbles for a week."
"I only turned around for a second! Next thing I know, they're taking shots."
"He called poison control," Austin said, holding Sarah at arms length.
"Shut up, Graceless."
"I can feel the love guys," Adam chuckled.
"Hey man, just cuz your wife don't got no sass…"
"Stick it in your nether regions, Messer," Lindsay retorted, thunking her finger against his forehead.
"Get outta my life, Montana."
"Sure thing, partner."
They stuck their tongues out at each other for good measure and Austin and Adam looked at each other and rolled their eyes.
"Sometimes I feel like I got two extra children."
"You and me both."
"C'mon Linds, quit pickin; on my ball and chain and help me clean these children."
"Yeah, yeah," Lindsay giggled, following her into the bathroom. "Spaghetti wasn't such a good idea, was it?"
"Nope. What a bunch of ragamuffins," she agreed, turning on the water and adding bubbles. "We'd better strip 'em."
"Alright buccaneers, arms up!"
All three kids lifted their arms, giggling as their mothers peeled their shirts off.
"Isa, I see your belly-button!" Colton squealed.
"I see your belly-button," she repeated, poking it. "Tickle!"
"Ducka, ducka, ducka!" Sarah giggled, tickling her own belly.
"Okay babies, into the drink with ya," Austin said, stripping the girls of their food laden clothes and plopping them into the bubbles.
"Colt comin' too?"
"Yes, he's coming," Lindsay said, putting him in the tub with the girls.
"Look Colt, I got a shark!" Isa said, showing him the plastic toy.
"That a Great White," he said with a nod. "This a Tiger shark. Daddy telled me."
"Is it just me or is Colton gonna be the kid that screws up the bell curve?" Austin asked, scrubbing the spaghetti sauce out of Sarah's hair.
"All the other kids are gonna hate him."
"He won't notice. So how's Adam doing?"
Lindsay sighed, wringing a washcloth out over Colton's head. He giggled and pushed her hand away.
"He's alright. He's had to think about it all a lot more lately, and that bugs him. Sometimes he just gets so sad I don't know what to do. It gets better, but he's never really dealt with it before, so it's a lot on him right now. Nights like this help."
"Good. He hasn't been himself recently."
"He's pushing through a lot right now, but it's getting better, I can tell. Has he talked to you about it at all?"
"No. I figure if he wants to hash it out he will."
"You understand it better than I do."
"Sometimes Linds, it takes someone who doesn't understand to make it better. I know you've helped me a lot when you don't say anything."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"I guess that's good then."
"Guess so. How are you doing with it?"
"I'm just holding on."
"Tell me the truth Linds."
"It's hard to see him like this. Just so broken down, you know? Where he goes through these bouts of feeling worthless. I hate it because he should never feel that way. And to think that someone made him believe it… I just get mad. And I don't want to show him that, I don't want to add fuel to the fire and put more negativity on the table. I want to be strong and good for him. But I'll admit, it's not easy."
"No it's not. You really, really have to love someone to go through all this with them. I'm glad he has you though, because I know you have the love and the patience to get him through this."
"I do my best."
"Keep doing what you're doing."
"I will."
"My hair stand up!" Colton shrieked delightedly. "I Alfalfa!"
Austin snorted a laugh and helped him pull his hair up higher.
"If you're Alfalfa, who's Spanky?"
"Isa is Spanky."
"What about Darla?"
He looked confused for a moment, then his eyes brightened.
"Sa'ah is Darla. Ben be Porky and Junior be Buckwheat!"
"Oh man Linds, he's been watching that movie way too much."
"Every day, at least twice."
"How do you stand it?"
"I turn it on in our bedroom and shut the door and leave him in there alone."
"Nice coping mechanism."
"He spends an hour and a half jumping on the bed while he watches so then he's ready for a nap. It's hands off parenting if I ever saw it."
"We've really gotta swap cheats sometime. You've got some good ones."
"I do pride myself on being as lazy as I can," she teased. "You've developed quite the skill set yourself, I've seen you holding all three kids and talking on the phone at the same time."
"Don't tell Danny that I can do that or he'll never help me again."
"Deal."
"It's time for sleep Mr. Man," Austin said quietly, tucking Junior into his crib. "For real this time."
He looked up at her and yawned and she rubbed his stomach gently before turning his night light on and leaving the room. Colton was standing in the doorway, having escaped from the girls for a moment. His eyes were big and he looked up at her in the darkness, sighing a little before he spoke.
"Austin?"
A tear pricked the back of her eye at the sound of her full name and not the "Au'tin" she'd grown so fond of.
"What's up buddy?" she asked, crouching down to look at him. He sighed again and looked out into the living room, then back at her.
"Why my daddy sad?"
The words were so simple, but tugged at her heart as she realized just how bad this had gotten. If Colton was noticing a change then Adam was a lot more upset about all this than she had thought he was.
"Why do you think your daddy is sad?"
"He not laughing."
She sighed and drew him into her arms, rubbing his back while he rested his head on her shoulder.
"It's hard to explain buddy. It's just grown up stuff that you don't need to worry about. Daddy's going to be just fine."
"I fix it?"
"I don't think you can fix it, but you can make sure to give him lots and lots of hugs, okay?"
"I do that good," he said with a smile, pulling back to look at her. "Mama okay too?"
"Mama's okay. It just makes her sad when daddy's sad."
"I don't like when Ben cryin'," he said, trying to equate the two things.
"Yeah, it's like that. Mama and daddy love each other so much that when one of them gets sad, the other one gets sad too."
"I sad too."
"I know, buddy. But I promise, it'll be better soon. Okay?"
He nodded and she kissed his cheek, holding him for a moment and wishing she could fix the whole thing for her friends. He pulled back from her after a moment and smiled, offering her his pinkie in their own little handshake. She took it and grinned.
"Do you feel better now?"
"Yep. I not sad."
"Good. That means you're gonna get tickling!"
He squealed and she lifted him up, holding him upside down and tickling his stomach. He laughed heartily and grabbed at her hand, trying to push it away, but enjoying the attention. She held him by his ankles and carried him into the other room.
"Look what I found."
"Colt up-a-down!" Isa hollered happily. "Mommy, I up-a-down!"
Austin lowered Colton to the floor and he giggled, running over to Adam and crashing against his legs.
"Hi daddy. I watch?"
"You wanna watch the game? Absolutely."
"Man, you excited for baseball startin' next month?" Danny asked, fast forwarding through the commercial of the recorded game that he and Adam had both missed due to work.
"Yep. We can go to game, Unca Danny?"
"Yeah. I dunno if Austin will let me go to a Yanks game without her, but maybe we can find a minor league game to take you kids to."
"I can wear a hat," he said with a nod.
"Yeah and maybe I'll get you a foam finger," Adam added.
"Okay! And buy some nutnuts and cracker tacks?"
Adam chuckled at the garbled lyrics.
"If they've got nutnuts and cracker tacks, you're totally getting some."
"Yes! Isa, we go baseball game."
"Whooo!" she cheered from her spot upside down in Austin's arms. "Today?"
"No, we in jammies, Sweet Thing!" he giggled.
"Oh. Next day?"
"I think you're going to have to wait a while for baseball," Austin said, lowering her daughter to the floor and sitting down in the recliner. "Why don't you watch this game for now? I bet I know who wins."
"That's because you girls already watched it last night," Danny scoffed. "Adam I think we should really petition for paternity leave. I wanna watch ESPN whenever I want."
"Don't say it so loud, they both gotta go back to work soon. And that means there's gonna be days when you're home with the kids and you'll wish you're at work because it's so much quieter there."
"Seriously Adam?" Lindsay asked, looking up from the book she was reading to Sarah.
"Well no one at work is usually begging you for a cookie."
She rolled her eyes and went back to the Dr. Seuss, smiling when Isa crawled up next to her and peeked at the pages.
"Me too?"
"Okay," Lindsay said, pulling Isa into her lap and kissing the top of her head.
"Read, Indy."
She continued with the story, only glancing up when Ben started to cry. Austin reached down and took him out of his carseat, holding him close and talking to him quietly until he calmed down. He looked up at her and smiled, grabbing onto her finger.
Lindsay smiled to herself, once again indescribably happy that the kids would always grow up like this; with a chosen family that loved them quite possibly more than blood relatives did. A family that would never fail them, would always support them, and would always give them a safe place to run to when things got hard. She'd never had that before, neither had Adam and it made her feel better knowing that Colton and Ben would always have this second family. She was glad it was Austin and Danny, she trusted them more than almost anyone. She knew they loved her kids as much as she and Adam loved theirs.
"Indy?"
"Sarahsponda?"
"Ah done," Sarah said, closing the book and yawning. "Nigh-nights."
Lindsay kissed Sarah's forehead and tucked her blonde hair behind her ear. She was so different than Isa, so quiet and gentle where Isa was loud and excited and living a life that wasn't big enough for her.
Sarah sighed and put her thumb in her mouth, then turned and nestled herself into Lindsay's chest while Isa climbed down off the couch, not wanting to catch the sleepiness bug.
"Colton's worried about Adam," Austin said, soft enough that only Lindsay could hear it.
"What?"
"He asked me why daddy and mama are so sad."
"We've been trying not to let him know."
"He can tell."
"What did you say?"
"I told him it was a grown up thing and he doesn't need to worry and it'll be fine in a while. He seemed okay with that."
"Thanks."
"Anytime. I'm sure you'll repay the favor at some point."
"Hopefully there won't be a need, but if there is, I will."
"Sa'ah sleeping?" Colton asked, standing on his toes to look.
"Yeah, she's asleep."
He climbed up onto the couch and leaned over, kissing Sarah's cheek.
"Night, Sa'ah. I love you."
He climbed back down again, joining Isa who was spinning in a circle while the Sportscenter theme music played. They giggled and bumped into each other, eventually falling to the ground and staying there, poking at each other tiredly.
"I think it might be time for us to go home," Lindsay said, not really keen on having to put the sleeping Sarah to bed.
"Yeah, Isa's running on fumes and I'm betting ten minutes until she starts getting cranky."
"I'll go put this one down," Lindsay said, standing up from the couch and taking Sarah into the girls bedroom. She tucked her in carefully, kissed her forehead and left the room.
Colton and Isa were protesting leaving each other, holding hands and frowning as Adam tried to put Colton's jacket on him.
"I no wanna leave! I stay with Isa!"
"My Colt, Dum-Dum. No go bye!"
"Sorry Princess. You wanna make a deal?"
Isa looked from Adam to Colton who nodded.
"Okay."
"If we can go bye right now, maybe later if it's okay with mommy and daddy, you can come and spend the night."
Isa contemplated that for a minute, chewing on her lip thoughtfully.
"Okay," she agreed finally, letting go of Colton's hand.
"You come over Isa and we play," Colton said, patting her shoulder.
"We do."
"I say bye-bye."
"Bye-bye," she repeated, giving him a hug. "Love my Colt."
"Love you Isa."
"Hey Linds, can I have a dance?"
Lindsay smiled at the request, leaving the boys door open just a crack and following him out to the other room. He turned the stereo on and pulled her into his arms, kissing the top of her head. Tim McGraw's Unbroken filtered out of the speakers and she held back tears, knowing he had picked it for a reason. They swayed slowly to the upbeat song, neither of them saying anything as the words of the song said the things they couldn't.
"Thank you, Lindsay," he said seriously, pulling back from her and framing her face with his hands. "Thank you for being so patient and holding me and everything you've been doing lately to keep my head on straight. I couldn't do this without you, not in a million years."
"Are you really doing better? I told Austin you're doing better but I didn't really know for sure. I know what you're saying but sometimes I can't hear your heart."
"It's getting better, honey. You're erasing a lot of the hurt. I'm not going to lie, it's been really hard unearthing all this stuff, but I'm glad you've been there."
"You'll tell me if there's anything else I can do, right?"
"Absolutely."
"I love you, Adam."
"I love you too."
You kissed me, and every
Piece went back in place
Every pain got erased
You held me up to the sunlight
Now it feels like
No one ever left
Me out in the rain
Cold words still remain
Unspoken
And I never got lost
Spent years in the dark
You're here, now my heart's
Unbroken
When I see you smile
Feel my soul again
And I'm unbroken.