A/N: Frick you guys, I don't even proof read anymore. Also, somewhere in my pathetic little life I made a lovely little Adam/Lindsay playlist. I know right?

"No, mama you not go to work!" Colton begged, holding onto Lindsay leg while tears dribbled down his face. "You stay here!"

"Buddy, I have to go to work. You're going to stay here with daddy."

"Who take care of Ben?"

"Daddy can take care of Ben just as good as I can."

"Mama stay!" he wailed, falling to the floor and kicking his legs. Lindsay looked over at Adam who raised his eyebrows almost to his hairline. Colton always got a little upset when one of them had to go to work, but never like this. Maybe it was just that he was so used to Lindsay being home now that he thought she would never have to go back.

"My mama! No go away! Please, I love you mama!"

"Colton-"

"NO!" he shrieked, his voice reaching a pitch that made her ears hurt. He threw himself against her again, crying as if his whole world had come crashing down around his ears. She managed to pry him off her leg, sitting him on the couch and holding his arms so he would sit still.

"Colton, that is enough. I don't need any of your theatrics this morning okay? Now, I'm sorry that I have to go to work, but that is just what I have to do. I would rather stay here with you, but I can't."

"My mama," he sobbed, trying to reach out for her. She kept him still so he would listen to what she was saying, even though she wanted to just hold him until the tears stopped.

"I need you to listen to me right now. I know that you're going to miss me. I'm going to miss you too. But that doesn't mean either of us should be carrying on like this. It doesn't make us feel any better does it?"

"No."

"You get to stay home and play with daddy and just before dinner time I'll be home."

He nodded sadly, his eyes not meeting hers.

"Can we make a deal?"

"Okay."

"If you let me go to work right now, I promise that I'll call you later."

"On the phone?"

"Yes, on the phone."

"Okay," he hiccupped. She grabbed a tissue and wiped his face, then pulled him into her arms, running a hand through his curls before she let him go.

"I love you and I'll be home soon. Alright?"

He nodded, his breath shuddering as he tried not to cry again. He wanted to be brave, he really did. But he also really wanted his mama. She gave the best snuggles and kisses and told him good stories. On the other hand though, daddy was just as good. They played and played together, video games, monsters, cars, whatever they wanted. He loved a day with daddy, but he wanted his mama there too.

"Bye, buddy."

He looked up at her, watched her kiss Adam and Ben and he couldn't stop the sob that burst from his mouth as he watched her go out the door. Lindsay could hear it outside and she leaned against the wall in the hallway, breathing deeply and fighting the urge to go back in there, call Mac and quit her job. She hated this. The hardest part of being a mom was when she didn't get to be one. It ate at her, a little voice telling her she was failing them by working, that they would always resent her for it, that they would never be as close as they could be if she had just stayed home. She worried about abandonment issues and whether or not they would ever feel loved enough.

A few tears ran down her own cheeks and she let them fall for a moment before rubbing them away and heading out of the building.

"We got a D.B. in the park," Danny said, standing up from his chair and stretching. "Grab your kit and let's get outta here."

"Okay," Lindsay agreed, turning off the computer and moving to get her kit.

"You wanna drive?"

"No thanks."

Danny stared at her, throwing his hand over his chest dramatically.

"You don't wanna drive? Where's my partner and what did you do with her?"

She gave him a half smile and slid into her coat, pulling her hair out of the collar and sighing.

"Hey, c'mon Montana," Danny started, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a hug. "You're still mama even when you're not right there."

"I know. I just miss them."

"'S'okay," he reassured. "I think you're supposed to. I miss the kids when I'm at work too. I can't imagine what it's like when you been home everyday an' all the sudden you gotta come back here and stare at my ugly face for eight hours."

She chuckled a little at that and he gave her shoulder a squeeze.

"Let's get outta here. I'll let you pick the music."

"Just because you feel sorry for me?"

"Yes."

"I could get used to this."

"You be good," he warned, picking up both their kits and leading the way to the elevator. "Once you get used to bein' back at work, Mr. Nice Guy goes far away and I'm back to blowin' spit wads at you."

"You're the extra brother I never wanted."

"At least you thought of me."

She rolled her eyes and leaned against the wall of the elevator, watching the numbers tick off as they traveled down to the lobby. She'd feel more settled once she had something to do other than paperwork. Once she had her hands on some evidence it would be better. Time would fly and she would be scrambling to get things done before she needed to be home.

She followed Danny out to the SUV, climbing in the passenger's seat and propping her feet on the dashboard while he started the car.

"You really okay, Linds?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Distracted, but okay."

"Alright."

"Is Austin okay going back to work?"

"Yeah, she's done a few shifts. She's pretty good at compartmentalizin' but I think it's still hard for her."

"That was a really big word for you, Danny."

"Yeah, we're tryna do better. Before we know it, Isa's startin' kindergarten and we want her to be ready."

"You want your toddler to use words like compartmentalizing? No offense Danny, but you'd better start tacking some g's on the ends of your words or she's gonna end up sounding like you."

"Colton says y'all."

"It's cute. And a compound word."

"No it ain't."

She snorted and shook her head.

"He's a charmer, Linds. Gonna be dangerous."

"I don't think he's gonna ever have eyes for anyone but your daughters."

"He'd better be careful how long he calls 'em Pretty Girls. They might start gettin' egos or somethin'."

"Yeah, with you and Austin as their parents they were never in danger of that before."

"Watch yourself Montana."

"Hi mama, it's me!" Colton greeted happily.

"Hey buddy. Daddy let you answer the phone?"

"He say it okay because it's mama. What you doing?"

"I'm just spinning in my chair, eating candy and playing with play-doh."

"No you isn't mama," he scoffed. "No tellin' stories."

"Okay, you caught me. I'm sittin' in the lab and I'm looking at fingerprints and I'm watching the computer."

"That not fun."

"No, it's not. What are you doing?"

"I just playin' cars," he sighed. "And watchin' TV."

"How's your brother?"

"He okay. He blowed spits at daddy."

"That's kinda gross."

"I teached him. But I not blow spits at daddy. I just blow spits."

"Oh, I see."

"I gotta take a nap today?"

"Yeah, you gotta."

"But I not tired."

"Well maybe you can just have some quiet time in your room."

"Okay," he sighed. "When you be home?"

"In a few hours. I'll come home and we'll have some dinner and I'll play with you, okay?"

"I love you, mama."

"I love you too. Can I talk to daddy?"

"Yeah. Daddy! Mama wanna talk to you. I not in trouble, I really not!"

"Okay buddy. Hey babe."

"Hey. Is everything going okay?"

"Yeah, been pretty quiet."

"Adam."

"We've had better days."

"What's the matter?"

"Ben's not too happy with the bottle. He takes it, he just gives me this look like "Dude, you're not my mom, what do you think you're doing?" He's got your glare."

"Great. Is Colton okay?"

"He had a rough morning."

"How rough?"

"He cried so hard he couldn't breathe, and then he threw up."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I cleaned it all up and we had a talk and I think tomorrow's going to be just fine when you leave."

"Okay. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Tired though."

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I know it's not easy."

"It's not easy but it's not horrible. It's just being a parent."

"Yeah. I'll be home soon."

"Be safe babe. I love you."

"I love you too."

She hung up the phone and sighed, wishing that she could have been there, even for the blowing spit and throwing up and crying that had taken up most of the morning. It wasn't a glamorous life, but it was her life and she missed it.

"Hey Linds, Sid just sent up his report. He says that besides the actual stab wounds, there were smaller cuts or slices on the vic. They're not defensive wounds."

"How can he tell?"

"Classic hesitation marks he says."

"Isn't that usually equated with suicide?"

"That's what I thought too. He also said he found organic material near the wound. He sent it up to be analyzed. Came back as, get this, tears. From a woman."

"Any DNA?"

"I'm runnin' it now."

Lindsay wrinkled her nose and looked back down at the case report, sighing a little.

"What?"

"It just didn't strike me as a woman. I'm not trying to stereotype here. But normally a woman kills cleaner than this. She shoots a guy once or poisons him. She doesn't stab him twelve times and then go about making slices up and down his abdomen."

"If it doesn't track with you, let's talk it out," he said, sitting down and propping his feet up on his desk.

"It just doesn't seem right. It seems too gratuitous for the average woman."

"Well she's not average, she's a murderer," he shrugged. "How would you kill Adam?"

"What?" she asked, her stomach churning at the thought, even though it was a totally hypothetical situation.

"What would be your weapon of choice?"

"I would take away his xBox."

"That would do a lot of damage to the man. But really. Maybe not Adam, but if you had to kill a guy how would you do it?"

"Is this a rage killing or is it premeditated?"

"Premeditated."

"Am I trying to get away with it?"

"Think average citizen Linds. Someone you really hate. How would you do it?"

"Torture," she replied automatically. "Lots of superficial cuts, lots of salt and lemon juice. Constant noogies. A machine that gives Wet Willies every fifteen minutes. A swirly an hour."

"Now you're just bein' silly. C'mon, really. If I know what you would do, then I can imagine what Austin would do and I can protect myself."

"Do you know your wife at all? She would shoot first and tell you why later. That is of course if she actually wanted to kill you."

"This conversation has taken a disturbing turn."

"You turned it that way."

"So you're saying that this killing isn't feminine enough, right?"

"I guess. I mean, I don't want to rule it out but it just… women's intuition you know?"

"You don't want to stereotype but you'll tell me about women's intuition."

"How does Austin put up with you?"

"I'm hot."

"If that's the only thing you're bringing to the table, she's got a lot of patience."

"Shut up Montana."

She opened the door quietly and slipped inside, hanging her coat on the rack by the door and sinking tiredly into the couch.

"Hey babe," Adam greeted from the other room.

"Babe?" Colton asked quizzically. "Mama's home!"

She chuckled as she heard his feet pound across the floor from his bedroom right up to the couch. She opened one eye and looked at him, smiling at his red cheeks, his bright eyes, the way his exuberance at seeing her reminded her so much of they way Adam still looked at her when she walked into a room.

"Mama, you give me cuddles or what?"

Laughing, she sat up and pulled him into her arms, peppering his face with the kisses she usually doled out over the course of a day. He laughed and returned them before dropping his head to her shoulder and winding his hands through her hair.

"My mama," he sighed contentedly.

She rubbed his back and closed her eyes, knowing no feeling more sweet than his arms wrapped around her and their breathing in sync.

"Did you have fun with daddy today?"

"Yep. We maked a fort in my room. Daddy says I could sleep in it. Like campin', if you say okay."

"I say okay."

"Cool beans. You have a good day at work mama?"

"It was okay. Your uncle Danny drove me crazy."

"That what he always do. Austin say that why we love him."

"Yeah, she's right."

"Why you love me, mama?"

"Why do I love you? Well that's a loaded question."

"It 'cuz I'm cute?"

"Part of it. I love you because you're mine. You're my son and daddy's son and no one else's. I love you because you are the best thing in my life. I love you because I have never been happier than the day I found out you were coming. I love you because you make me and daddy better people."

"For really?"

"For really, and forever."

"I love you 'cuz you my mama and you make me dinner."

"Oh really?"

"And for snuggles and readin' books."

She chuckled and took his hand in hers, kissing it gently while he rested against her again.

"You go back to work in the morning?"

"Yeah."

"But you come home after, right?"

"Yes, I will."

"Okay. You can leave then. But always come home mama."

"Always, always."

"They missed you today," Adam commented softly. Lindsay smiled and looked down at the boys, Ben curled up on her chest while Colton stretched out across her legs, his head resting on her stomach.

"Did you miss me?" she asked raising her eyebrows and looking up at him. He gave her a half smile and nodded.

"I always miss you, babe. You're the wife and the mama. We aren't really functional without you."

"Oh it's not that bad."

"No, but we really, really do miss you when you're gone."

"I miss you guys too."

"I had a thought today."

"Just one."

"Sassy."

"Remember that you love me."

"Yeah, yeah."

"What were you thinking?"

"Well I was doing the bills. And I think, that if we're careful, and if you wanted to, you could work a lot less. And by a lot less, I mean not at all."

"We can't afford that."

"Yeah we can. We might not be able to put as much into the getting a house fund each month and the take out would have to stop, but we could do it. If you wanted to."

"I want to," she started with a sigh. "I would love to stay home with the boys all the time. But I know eventually I would go stir crazy. I have to work, Adam. I've been working my whole life in some form or another. I can't not."

"I know how much you hated leaving this morning."

"It was hard. It gets easier."

"I just don't want you to have to go through that five times a week."

"I don't want to either. Which is why I was thinking that maybe I would stay part time for a while. Just two days, maybe three. Work when you're not working. I know that means we don't see each other as much, but we'll figure that out."

"You're gonna be happiest that way?"

"Yeah."

"Then that's the plan."

"No questions asked?"

"Do I ever?"

"No, not really," she yawned.

"Let's put the boys to bed, and then I'll put you to bed," he said, giving her the look.

"Yeah, straight to bed because I have to be up early."

"You wound me."

She smiled as he stood up and took Colton, then helped her off the couch too.

"Hey Adam?" she asked softly, grabbing his hand.

"Yeah?"

She wrapped her free arm around his waist and leaned up to kiss him, words feeling like nothing but noise as they stood there, all of them together.