"Benjamin Ryan, I'm gonna get you! Here comes the tickle monster!" Lindsay exclaimed, running her fingers over Ben's belly. He smiled and blew bubbles at her, waving his hands happily.

"Ben-a-Ben-a-Ben-a-boo!"

He babbled back at her and yanked on her hair, his eyes shining with delight at the attention. He drooled out the side of his mouth and she used a rag to wipe it away, never losing eye contact with him.

"Are you gonna laugh for mama today, Benny Ben? You think you can give me a little giggle? Just one? If your first laugh is for daddy like your brother's was, I am never gonna live it down."

"I make him laugh mama," Colton sighed, climbing down from the kitchen chair where he had been very seriously coloring a picture for Isa. "Ben, look at me. Watch what I doing."

He shook his head vigorously from side to side, letting out an inhuman moan as he did it. Lindsay raised her eyebrows but then heard the tinkling sound of Ben's laughter.

"See mama, he laugh."

"Do it again."

Colton obliged, getting an even bigger reaction from his brother than he had the first time around.

"Does he always laugh when you do that?"

"Yep."

"Has be been laughing for a long time?"

"Pretty long."

"Oh. Are you almost done coloring so we can leave?"

"Where we gonna go? We go see Austin?"

"No, I'm going to attempt grocery shopping with both of you in tow."

"You say I not run around and be crazy, huh?"

"Yeah, that would be a good idea."

"I can get a snack?"

"If you're good, yeah I think you can get a snack."

"What else we gonna get?"

"Broccoli and mushrooms and peas and liver on a stick."

"Mama, why you always tease like that?"

"Because I've been married to daddy for too long."

"Oh," he said as if she had revealed the meaning of life to him.

"Go get your shoes on so we can get all the shopping done before daddy comes home."

"On mark, and set, go!" he hollered, running into the other room.

"Your brother is a crazy pants," Lindsay chuckled, lifting Ben off the floor and putting his jacket on him. He gave her a toothless grin and she spent a few minutes blowing raspberries on his cheeks. "Still not going to laugh for me, huh Ben Ry? Are you a tough cookie today?"

He was silent as he stared at her, his eyes wide before he grinned again.

"Mama, let's go out, I ready now," Colton reported, securing the Velcro on his shoes, which were on the wrong feet.

"Okay. Can you tell me the rules about the store?"

"No runnin', no screamin' for wanting stuff, and gotta hold hands or be in the cart."

"And?"

"No touchin' 'cept with one finger."

"Thank you buddy. Can you help me buckle Ben's seatbelt?"

He nodded and waited until Ben was comfortably in his seat before clicking the restraint into place.

"I do it like a good big brother," he said proudly, nodding.

"You are a good big brother. You're the best big brother in the whole world."

"I am?"

"Yes, you are."

"He's a pretty good little brother too. Come on mama, we need to get cereal."

"Cereal, really?"

"They gots toys in them."

"More like your daddy every day."

Colton walked quietly up and down the aisle, making sure he could see Lindsay at least out of the corner of his eye as he stared into the freezer case, trying to decide what kind of ice-cream to ask for. Chocolate was about all they ever got in their house, but he was definitely interested in the brightly colored sherbet on the middle shelf. He turned around, his hands safely tucked into his pockets after an incident in the fruit snack aisle.

"Mama," he whispered, looking up at her, his eyes large.

"What sweetie?"

"We can get ice-cream?"

"Mmhmm."

"I can pick?"

"Sure, you can pick," she agreed distractedly, checking her list to make sure she had what she needed.

"I go get it, okay?"

"Uh-huh."

Happily, he pulled his hands out of his pockets and skipped back to the freezer, yanking the door open and trying to find a way to get the ice-cream that was just out of his reach. It would be a lie to say that the question of how Isa would do this didn't cross his mind as he climbed up on the bottom shelf and stretched his arm out as far as it would go. His fingers grazed the cold cardboard and he tried again, standing on his tiptoes and pushing it enough that it finally fell off the shelf. Grinning, he jumped down and picked it up, running back to the cart and dropping it in.

"What was that?"

"Ice-cream, mama. I get it."

"I thought I told you not to touch anything."

"You say I could get it."

"I did?"

"Yeah, you say uh-huh. That mean yes, right?"

"Yes. I must not be paying attention."

"I in trouble?"

"No sweetie, you did what I said you could do. I'm sorry, I'm not all here right now."

"Well where are you?" he asked, climbing up on the side of the cart and holding on as she pushed it further down the aisle.

"Buddy, I don't even know."

He giggled and patted her hand.

"It's okay mama. I see you."

She grinned and leaned down to kiss him.

"You make me happy."

"I know," he said, stretching up to look at Ben. "He's sleeping."

"Yeah, it's naptime."

"It always naptime."

She smiled and put a few more things in the cart while he hummed to himself.

"Mama, look! It's Ellie!"

Lindsay turned around and saw Ellie approaching, a shopping basket on one arm and her soccer bag on the opposite shoulder.

"Hey Lindsay."

"Hey Ellie. What are you up to?"

"It's my day to bring snacks for soccer. I had to buy out all the carrots they had," she said, holding up her basket. "Mom reminded me for three days, but sometimes I guess I don't listen."

"That sounds about right. You have a game today or just practice?"

"Just practice. We've got a game next week."

"Are you doing outdoor or indoor right now?"

"Indoor. It's a lot rougher and mom isn't really a fan of it, but I think it's more fun."

"Definitely. Course, the Astroturf burns have gotta hurt."

"You wouldn't believe how much. Which is why I make sure I'm the toughest one out there."

"Funny, I think that's how your mom operates."

"Where do you think I learned it?"

Lindsay snickered and shook her head.

"Oh, I was gonna tell you and Austin that we're doing a soccer camp this summer, and we have a class for three year olds. You guys should sign the kids up."

"They would probably love that. Even if it just meant getting outside."

"I'll let you know when we get everything set in stone."

"Yeah, I'll tell Austin."

"Sweet."

"Colton, you want to learn how to play soccer?"

"Um, sure. Now?"

"No, later."

"Okay. You show me how, Ellie?"

"Yep, you'll be the best player out there when I'm done with you."

"Deal," he said with a nod.

"I gotta get to practice, but I'll see you guys later."

"Bye, have fun."

They watched her go and Colton looked up at Lindsay.

"I gonna be the best soccer boy in the whole world, mama."

She grinned at his enthusiasm; he wanted to be the best in the whole world at everything, and she hoped he kept that drive, but could also handle it when there was someone else that was inevitably better than him at something. As for her, it was going to take a little adjusting to the idea that he was going to do something without her. Not that she wanted to smother him or keep him home at all times or anything like that. But he wasn't just growing up anymore. He was grown up. Sure, he had a lot more to do, but he was getting to the point where he needed her less and less.

"So then Isa decided that the finger paints that her wonderful aunt Lindsay got her for Christmas were in desperate need of being smeared all over her brother."

"I hear sarcasm."

"I found blue paint in his fat rolls; I'm allowed a little sarcasm."

"Go on."

"So while I'm getting after Isa and trying to bathe Junior, Sarah decides to be helpful and feed Elvis, and she dumped the whole bag of food on the floor, so when I finally finished with Junior, Elvis had eaten all the food and subsequently puked all over the floor and Sarah was crying because she thought she hurt him and about that time Isa started to whine that she was hungry and I realized I hadn't put dinner in the oven and then Danny's mom called and so now I only have one ear, and then Danny came home and he's whining because he's coming down with a cold and you have got to know how big of a baby he is when he's sick. So how was your day?"

Lindsay chuckled and buried her feet under the blankets on the bed. It was their Monday night Castle watching phone date, a new tradition they had started because life was too busy to offer either them more than an hour a week. Adam had the boys in the other room and Lindsay was able to shut the door and just be herself for a while. Danny gave Austin the same space and neither guy had complained one word so far.

"Oh, it was one of those days. I mean those in the general sense, not those like you just rattled off to me."

"I sense a disturbance in your force."

"Colton's growing up."

"Yes, that is the natural way of things, Linds."

"I know but some days… some days he's so old. He doesn't need me to do everything for him. And he gets stuff, you know? He understands our jokes. He knows when we're having a bad day. He can tell when I sugarcoat things."

"Then stop sugarcoating them."

"You want me to tell him that the reason mama's so tired is that she had nightmares all night long and was too scared to go back to sleep?"

"Well maybe not that. I don't know Linds. Kids grow up. They become people with personalities and attitudes and you get to be their sounding board when they try out their back talk."

"Thanks for the perspective."

"We're talking through the whole show."

"We're multi-taskers and it's recording in the other room anyway."

"Oh yes, that. Joking aside, are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just feeling old. Don't you ever get all melancholy like this?"

"Yeah, but then usually I have to change a diaper and I can't wait for them to grow up. At least a little bit."

"Thanks for listenin' to me when I whine."

"Anytime. And you're not whinin' Linds."

"Thanks for that. Are you out of ice-cream too?"

"Just finished my last spoonful. Geez we even eat in tandem. Mint chip?"

"How did you know?"

"Because that's what I was having."

"I hope we never change."

"Don't worry, I'll stop you if you do. Same for me?"

"Absolutely."

"Secret handshake."

"Ditto."

"I love our Monday night dates," Austin chuckled, sticking her spoon to her nose.

"They do restore my sanity. Plus Nathan Fillion is really nice to stare at."

"I didn't think you went for that type."

"I don't. I mean, I could stare at a painting but that don't mean I want it in my house."

"Okay, so besides Adam, who would you want in your house?"

"I can't have Adam? George Clooney. You?"

"Matthew Perry or Tim McGraw. Making me laugh or making me melt. It's how I ended up with Danny."

"Ew gross."

"Geez Banana, shut your freaking gob okay? It's not like last week you didn't tell me about your…" she cleared her throat pointedly. "Frequencies."

Lindsay giggled and picked at the loose string on the comforter.

"You shouldn't ask if you didn't want to know."

"I didn't know I was gonna know that much!"

"I didn't tell you nearly close to everything."

"Oh my word."

"Quit slapping your forehead. I woulda told you more if you hadn'ta covered your ears and said you would never be able to look Adam in the eye again."

"Hey, whatever floats your boat. It's not like I'm jealous or nothing."

"Ew, that's my partner and my best friend you're talking about!"

Austin giggled.

"Tit for tat."

"Did you just say that word in this conversation?"

"Only you would notice that, Linds."

"That's why we work, grasshopper."

They sat in near silence for a while, giggling every few moments until the credits rolled and the next show came on.

"I'd better go."

"Yeah, me too. The kids are gettin' loud out there and I just heard Danny say a fake swear, so I think he needs me."

"Meanwhile I am hearing only silence, so something has got to be amiss. I'll talk to you later."

"Alright. I love you."

"I love you too. Go save Danny."

"Night Linds."

She turned the phone off and got up, absentmindedly straightening the blankets and turning the TV off before she went into the other room.

"Hey mama."

"You're still up?" she asked, leaning down to pick him up.

"I was waitin' for you. You gonna rock me tonight please?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, an' read a book?"

"Sure, I can do that. Which one do you want?"

"The blue," he said, squirming down from her arms and dragging her into his bedroom. He spent a few moments rooting through his books until he found the one he was looking for. "Love You Forever. This one, mama."

She gave him a half smile and he crawled into her lap happily, sliding his finger into his mouth and holding his sock monkey around the neck. She cleared her throat and started the story, letting him turn the pages. It was a story that always made her tear up but tonight it was hitting the nail right on the head. She stumbled over the words but Colton didn't seem to mind, taking the repeating stanzas for her, reciting them from memory. The book ended after a few minutes and she closed it, dropping a kiss to the top of his head.

"I love you mama."

"I love you too, Colton."

She stood up and tucked him into his bed, kissing him once more before turning the light off. She stood in the doorway and watched the way the moonlight fell on his face, how his eyelashes rested on his full cheeks, the tiny dimples he still had on his knuckles. He was still her baby, her first baby, and no matter how old he got or how little time he had for her, she was still his mama, his only mama.