"But where's all the buildings mama?" Colton asked for the tenth time, staring out the train window, his hands pressed against the glass.

"You are such a city boy," Lindsay replied with a chuckle.

"I got 'spenders," he said, snapping his suspenders against his chest. "Like papa."

He'd picked out his entire outfit early that morning, proclaiming that if they were going to "Totana" he was going to look like his grandpa. They hadn't fought it as it was four a.m. and they were just trying to get out the door to catch their plane. It had been a long flight with two stops before they'd arrived in Idaho and caught a train to Bozeman. The boys had both been pretty good, Colton happy with his books and crayons while Ben slept most of the time, snuggled up against Adam's chest.

"Mama, 'member you say papa and granna gots horses?"

"Yeah, I did say that."

"I play with them, okay?"

"We'll have to wait and see. Maybe papa will take you out for a ride."

He nodded and climbed into her lap, sighing and playing with the clasp on her watch.

"Mama, was you a little girl once upon a time?"

She chuckled at that, running her fingers through his curls.

"Yeah once upon a time."

"Was you as little as me?"

"Yeah."

"Little like… Sarah?"

"Yep."

"Little like Ben?" he asked, his eyes dancing with amusement.

"Yep, a long time ago. Maybe granna will show you some pictures."

"Daddy was little too?"

"Yeah, daddy was a little boy just like you."

"You and daddy was friends like me and Isa?"

"No because I lived here and daddy lived in Arizona."

"'Zona's far away right?"

"Yeah, it is."

He sat quietly for a moment, mulling that over.

"But who was your favorite friend?"

"I had a lot of friends."

"But who was your favorite?" he asked again, stressing the word and finding it difficult to believe that she hadn't had her own Isa.

"I didn't have a favorite friend until I met daddy."

"Oh mama, that's sad."

She chuckled again and shook her head, wishing she could understand how his mind worked sometimes.

"Hey, when you was little you play outside?"

"Yeah, I played outside a lot."

"What did you do mama?"

"We climbed trees and dug in the dirt and jumped in piles of hay and went swimmin' in the pond and played in the woods."

"What's the pond?"

"It's like a lake. But it's smaller and dirtier and has all sorts of creepy crawlies in it."

"Why'd you go swimming in that mama? You crazy?"

"Certifiable," Adam mumbled, waking up from the snooze he'd been taking.

"You show me this pond, okay mama?"

"Okay, I'll show you," she agreed, looking forward to showing him all over the ranch, now that he was old enough to appreciate it. She wanted to take him horseback riding and show him how to gather eggs from the chickens and milk a cow. She was actually looking more forward to seeing Adam try to milk a cow and could almost see his disgusted face in the early morning light.

"Are we almost there?" Adam asked, rubbing his eyes and being careful not to disturb Ben.

"Yeah. Are you feeling alright babe?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You don't normally just fall asleep places."

"I got two hours of sleep last night," he explained, raising one eyebrow at her. Her face colored and she giggled.

"Well so did I. And don't talk so loud, people can hear you."

He smiled and played with the ends of her hair for a moment before sitting up.

"Hey mama?"

"What dude?"

"We could bring Isa next time?"

"Buddy, I don't know if Austin and Danny would let us take Isa to Montana with us. They'd be afraid she'd start talkin' like mama," Adam said, shooting Lindsay a smirk.

"But we could ask, right?"

"Yeah, maybe sometime."

He was satisfied with that answer and crawled off of Lindsay's lap to go look out the window again. He rocked back and forth in his boots lost in his own world for a while before suddenly jumping up and down.

"Mama, look at them donkeys!"

"I see them."

"There's so many," he said, even though there were only five. "They like tiny horses."

"Yeah, kind of."

He smiled at them and then his face dropped as he took in their sleepy expressions.

"Uh-oh."

"What's the matter?"

"You gonna make me take a nap huh?"

"We'll see."

"I do not want a nap," he said, turning back to the window and leaning his elbows against the sill. "I'm not tired."

"Would you rather go to bed a little early?"

"We'll see."

Adam snorted a laugh and Lindsay sighed, wishing she could take a nap herself. Adam had talked her into going to the high school reunion and she had forced herself to look forward to it. Now she just wanted to conveniently forget the whole thing. She wasn't connected to these people. They didn't keep in touch after high school, why should she try and make small talk with them now? Adam had promised her that they only had to go to the picnic on Saturday and if she didn't have fun they would skip the rest. It seemed like a good compromise at the time, and she knew he wanted her to face a bad part of her life and put it behind her, but she just wasn't interested.

His hand slid into hers and she gave him a smile, knowing that he sensed her discomfort and wanted to give her some reassurance. It was a nice gesture, but she was going to get back at him for this. Oh yes, he'd pay.

The truck bumped along the gravel road and Ben whimpered from his carseat, not used to being so uncomfortable. He was just scrunching up his face to cry when Colton leaned over and patted his hand.

"It okay, Ben. We almost there. Right papa, we almost there?"

"We are there," Dale said, parking the truck in front of the house. "Ready to get out?"

"Yep, I gonna play outside like when mama was a tiny girl!"

Adam chuckled and unbuckled him from his carseat, setting him down on the dusty ground.

"Why don't you go inside first and see if you can find granna?"

"Okay," he agreed happily, trotting off towards the house.

Lindsay got Ben out of the truck, running her hand over his face to calm him down.

"He gonna spend he rest of the day cranky?" Dale asked, getting their luggage out of the bed of the truck.

"Nah, he's just hungry. Nothing some strained carrots won't fix. And daddy, don't you dare carry those suitcases. I'll do that. You take the kid."

They made the exchange and were soon headed inside where they met Anne and Colton- who already had a cookie in his hand.

"Mama, granna say she gots pictures of you when you was a little girl! I get to see them later!"

"Oh, okay."

"You two look tired," Anne commented, giving them each a hug.

"They only sleep two hours last night," Colton reported, taking a bite of his cookie. Lindsay and Adam looked at each other and blushed, while her parents put two and two together and began to snicker.

"Why that funny?"

"It's… it's not that funny bud," Adam said. "Just eat your cookie."

"Okay."

The moment passed and they all went into the kitchen where Anne had prepared a late lunch. Lindsay half ate and half fed Ben, while Adam just tried to keep Colton seated long enough to take bite of his sandwich without choking. It wasn't too long before the desire for sleep won over the desire for food and they were excusing themselves from the table to go lay down. Colton fought it at first, but once they told him he could sleep in between them, he was glad to go and lay down. Lindsay apologized to her parents for their unsociability, then escaped upstairs to the spare room. Adam had just finished setting up Ben's travel bed and was wrestling Colton out of his boots.

"But daddy, I a cowboy!"

"Well even cowboys don't sleep with their boots on."

"Mama?"

"Daddy's right. Cowboys sleep with their boots right next to the bed."

"Oh, okay," he sighed, relinquishing the boots and making sure Adam set them right by the bed. "I guess I can take a nap now."

"I sure hope so," Lindsay said, yawning and crawling under the covers.

"Hey," Colton whispered after a moment.

"Yeah?"

"When is this nap over?"

"Sometime after you fall asleep."

"Alright."

He settled in with a sigh and they were all asleep in just a few moments.

"That was my mama when she was a baby?" Colton exclaimed with a giggle, looking down at the picture. "She so little."

"Yeah she was. She came a little early just like you did," Anne explained, smiling at the picture of her youngest child.

"Look, hers wearing a dress! She don't wear no dress now."

"No I certainly don't," Lindsay chuckled as she watched Ben crawl over to the couch and pull himself into a standing position. He was steady for a moment before he had to sit down again. He grinned at her and crawled into her arms, nuzzling himself into her neck.

"Why baby mama crying, granna?"

"Oh who knows? Your mama was quite the drama queen and cried whenever she didn't get her way."

"That what Isa do sometimes. Danny always tell her to shape up."

"It must be a girl thing. You know what your mama did one time when she didn't get her way?"

"What, what?"

"Mom, don't tell him," Lindsay moaned, shaking her head. "I'll never live it down."

"Your mama got so mad that no one would play with her that she stood right in the middle of the kitchen and screamed and made herself wet her pants."

"Mama!" Colton laughed, clapping his hands. "You was a bad tiny girl!"

"Yes, I know."

"Did she get in trouble, granna?"

"Oh yeah, big time."

"How old was she?"

"Oh, she must have been about two. She never did that again, that's for sure."

"Oh my goodness," he sighed, using the phrase he had picked up from Jo, complete with genteel southern accent. "Tell me more about tiny mama."

"Well your mama had a naughty streak a mile long and an acre wide. She pretended to be as sweet as pie, but the minute someone's back was turned she was stealing candy or making a mess or fighting with her brothers. And she always acted like she didn't do it. She would stand with her hands behind her back and bat her eyelashes and say "Who me? But I'm Lindsay and I'm just a little girl!" And she could worm her way out of any punishment papa gave her. And her brothers, well they picked on her a lot but they also spoiled her rotten. They would take the blame for things she did just because they didn't like to see her cry."

Colton giggled and looked over at Lindsay.

"You was a funny girl mama."

"Yeah, I guess so."

"What else, granna?"

"Your mama loved riding horses and playing hopscotch and cooking with me in the kitchen. And she's was very smart and studied hard so she could do well in school."

"Who is in this picture with mama?"

"That's your uncles. Jake, Riley and Eli."

"But I already gots my unca Danny and unca Tim. I gots more uncas?"

"Yeah, you do. And aunts and cousins also."

"They live in Totana?"

"Yeah, they all live here. You'll see them tomorrow night when they come over for dinner."

"Okay. What is mama wearin'?" he asked, pointing to a Halloween picture.

"She was dressed up as a jellyfish to go trick or treating."

"Oh. Mama, you look silly."

"That's because I am silly. But I happen to know that your daddy once dressed up as a Q-tip."

"What's that?"

"An ear cleaner."

"Why did daddy do that?"

"Because he's sillier than me."

"Granna, mama and daddy is nutso."

"I think you're right."

He smiled and turned the page in the picture album.

"Mama, you gots chubby cheeks like Ben!"

"I was a well fed child," Lindsay agreed, sitting down next to him. "And apparently had picked out my own clothes that morning. Yeesh."

"And I think your dad did your hair."

Lindsay giggled as they continued to look through the pictures, many of them that she hadn't seen in years or at all. Colton was beside himself with excitement, loving finding out about what she was like as a kid. He hung on to every word of his grandmother's stories and Lindsay was worried about what he was going to do with the information later. She could just see him relating the stories to Isa and the two of them deciding to recreate some of her "finer" moments.

"What's going on in here?" Adam asked, sitting down on Lindsay's other side and kissing her cheek.

"We lookin' at pictures of mama. See, she was cute, huh daddy?"

"Yeah, she sure was."

"How'd you guys fare outside?" Lindsay asked. Adam and Dale had headed outside to batten down the hatches for the windstorm that was supposed to arrive in a few hours.

"He's a harder worker than you ever were, dilly-dally," Dale reported, ruffling her hair.

"That's not sayin' much, daddy."

"Thanks a lot," Adam grimaced, pinching her knee before taking Ben from her. "Dude, you look a little jet-laggy. Are you going to sleep tonight?"

"Now that you've said that he probably won't."

"We'll take shifts."

"Daddy, granna say mama pee the floor when she was little."

"Temper tantrum?"

"Well I wasn't doin' it just for fun."

He chuckled and shook his head as the front door opened.

"Tater! Mama, look it's Tater!" Colton shouted, wiggling off the couch and running across the room to jump into her arms.

"Hey dude. I missed you."

"Miss you too. Where you been?"

"I was at work."

"Why?"

"Because I need to make money."

"That's why mommy say that too," he sighed, crossing his arms. "You can play with me?"

"Yeah, let me go change my clothes real quick, okay?"

"Also you need to see Ben, okay?"

"Okay."

She let him go and went up the stairs while he stood on the bottom step, patiently waiting for her.

"Bud, she's gonna be a few minutes. Why don't you come back over here?"

"Is she okay?" Lindsay asked her mom softly, looking up the stairs where Taylor had gone.

"She's been working a lot."

"Mom."

"You should spend some time with her while you're here."

"You're using that voice you used to use when you talked about me."

"She's had a hard life, sweetheart. It's catching up to her and she's letting it."

"What's she doing?"

"I don't know for sure. She's throwing herself into work and school, and we hardly ever see her anymore. Maybe it's nothing, but I've seen the look in her eyes."

"I'll talk to her. If she'll even listen to me."

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Last time she was in town we got into a fight. We made up but it hasn't been the same since."

"Lindsay that was a year and a half ago."

"I know it was. I was having such a hard time then and I wasn't even really aware of it. I fought with Austin about that time too. But Taylor and I… it's harder because she's not there. I can't read her that well over the phone and we didn't talk as often as we should have and I think I really messed up in that department."

"Maybe so, but Lindsay this might have nothing to do with you."

"Maybe you're right."

"Of course I am. I am all knowing."

"Right mom."

"Oh my word, Benjamin, go to sleep," Lindsay groaned, sighing into the darkness and pushing her hair back from her face. It was four a.m. again and Ben had yet to sleep more than twenty minutes at a time. She shouldn't have been surprised as he had slept all day long, but that didn't mean she wasn't annoyed.

"He's up again?" Adam asked, rubbing his eyes while Lindsay buried her face in his chest. "This is getting ridiculous."

"I'm so tired," she groaned, rolling away from the noise and wanting to ignore it for at least five minutes.

"I know."

"Gotta get up. Tame the savage beast."

He chuckled and pulled her in for a lazy kiss before she threw the blankets off and stood from the bed.

"Why must you torture me in this way?" she asked, taking Ben from his bed and holding him gently. He sniffled and leaned against her, whimpering until she found his pacifier and offered it to him. He took it and sighed, curling against her chest and making himself comfortable.

"I'm going to take him outside."

"Why?"

"Fresh air might help."

"Mmkay," Adam mumbled, already drifting back to sleep himself.

"Let's go, dude."

She slipped from the room and crossed the hallway, pulling an old quilt out of the closet and wrapping it around them before making her way outside. She settled down sideways on the porch swing and pulled her knees halfway to her chest, letting Ben lay back against them. He smiled around his pacifier and stared into her eyes while she brushed his hair back off his forehead.

"Did you just miss me, is that what this is? Stealing me away from a nice warm bed just to have me all to yourself? You're just like your daddy."

He burbled back at her and she held his hand, leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"Can you say mama? Mama."

He didn't make one sound just grinned at her again.

"My tough cookie. Your brother was saying mama by the time he was your age. Saying it non-stop in fact. But you… you're my strong silent one aren't you? What are you going to be like when you grow up, Benjamin? Are you gonna be a trouble maker? Or are you gonna be the good kid?"

He blinked slowly, tilting his head to look at her. She smiled and ran her hand over his cheek, yawning and leaning against the back of the swing.

"I love you, Ben. Do you know how much? I don't think you will until you have your own kids, but I know you know that I love you. I know because of that smile you get on your face whenever you see me. It's the same smile daddy gets. Yeah that one," she chuckled, leaning in close to kiss the end of his nose. He waved his arm at her and grabbed onto her hair, grinning when it kept her from moving away.

"Being your mama is the best job I've ever had. And you and Colton are the most perfect things in my life. No matter how bad anything gets, I still have you. And you'll always have me, no matter what. Okay?"

He hiccupped and reached out for her and she pulled him against her chest nuzzling the top of his head while his tiny hand rested on her collarbone. She knew no feeling quite as sweet as her babies curled up against her, their hearts beating against her own.

She rocked the swing gently with her socked foot and hummed a little as the birds started to chirp in the trees, a sign that the sun was about to peek over the mountains. She yawned and closed her eyes hoping to catch just a little sleep before the day started.

It was only a little while before Adam opened the front door and found them both asleep. He hadn't got much more sleep after she'd gotten up, and rather than lay upstairs and toss and turn, he figured he would come and find them.

The morning sun glinted off them both, a warm, rich color that nearly hugged them as they slept. He reached down and brushed Lindsay's hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear and smiling at the sleepy sigh she gave him. Ben was content where he was in his mama's arms, his cheeks drooped and rosy in sleep. As much as he would have liked to stand there and stare at them like this all day, he knew Lindsay couldn't be comfortable. He slid one arm behind her back and one under her knees, then carried them inside and up the stairs, settling them into the messy bed before opening the window. The cows were lowing outside and the sprinklers in the fields had started to come on already. A slight breeze nearly brought in the yellow sun and the blue sky and for a moment he fully understood why this place was so indelibly in Lindsay's heart.

He leaned down and kissed her and Ben, then slipped out of the room and let them both get just a little more sleep.