A/N: Thank you for the reviews! And please everyone wish Classic Cowboy a very Happy Birthday - this is his present from me in that he doesn't have to beta it :D

Chapter Twenty

"Then anything. Come on, Lily!" she urged when her friend continued to look hesitant.

"Voldemort wants you for a reason."

"Yeah, Sirius and I guessed it was because he thinks I know something."

A look of relief crossed Lily's face. "Do you know what?"

"No."

"Well James and Sirius both think it's important. That you're really important. More than you know. Dumbledore told them as much." Finished, she bit her lip.

"Alright, then why didn't Dumbledore just tell me that? Why didn't Padfoot—why all the secrecy?"

"Maybe they thought you'd demand to know what," Lily shrugged.

Helena frowned. That sort of made sense; she might have wanted to know exactly what Voldemort wanted to know, but that could have disastrous consequences for the Order if she was captured alive. They could easily torture the information out of her. Or at least they probably could. She had no idea whether she could withstand the Cruciatus Curse. If she didn't know, they could torture her all they liked and get nothing. It was a pretty cold way of looking at things, but as head of the Order maybe Dumbledore had to think like that sometimes.

But it still didn't answer all of her questions. "No, that makes sense for some of it, but why would Dumbledore trust me with whatever it is? I only joined the Order in May, when I wasn't even out of Hogwarts yet. I was overage, but that was literally it. If this information or whatever is so important that Voldemort himself wants it, then why on Earth would Dumbledore trust it to a teenager?"

Lily blinked, green eyes wide. "I- I don't know, Helena. You're right, I suppose, but didn't Dumbledore say something about needing your cartography skills? What if it's a map that was imprinted on your mind magically so that only you know its secrets? And Bellatrix went an erased it."

She looked so earnest and hopeful that Helena found herself nodding. "Well that sounds plausible I suppose."

"There you go then." Lily patted her on the arm. "So nothing to worry about. Aside from the Death-Eaters-after-you thing."

Helena sighed. "And I can't go to the funeral because of that. Can I?"

"Probably not. If Lucius hasn't been arrested then it'll be too dangerous. A lot of the pure-bloods are in Voldemort's political camp if not his military one, and it'll just be them at the funeral. I'm sure you could visit their graves once its all blown over."

"Yeah," Helena said dully, feeling still unsatisfied with the information that had been presented to her and with no idea what else there could be. "Yeah I can."

Lily put an arm around her shoulders and led her back up to the house. "Come on. We'll get you some tea."

"I should apologise to the guys, shouldn't I?"

"Well…if you really want to. But I think being shouted at them every now and again is good for them," Lily winked.

Helena borrowed a lot of Sirius' books over the next few days—not that there was a whole lot to borrow—mostly trying to do exactly what he was doing, and study Concealment and Disguise. It seemed important that she learn how to hide herself effectively after all. And if not, then it was another useful skill to have. Though she may have forgotten to tell him she was borrowing them. So, when his Concealment and Disguise exam was looming, he wasn't best pleased to find all his books in a so-far empty room of the house.

He was even less impressed by Helena's breezy tone. "Oh I thought we could use this as a library. I plan on collecting a lot of books in my lifetime."

He moved over to her and jerked the tome she'd been perusing out of her hands. "Well stop nicking them from other people, Hellfire! I've been looking for this for days!"

"What are you worried about?" she asked, trying and failing to snatch Most Potente Potions back. "You always pass tests with flying colours anyway. And you know how to brew a Polyjuice Potion, you've been doing it since sixth year. You could probably do it with your eyes closed."

"Try telling that to Mad-Eye."

She tilted her head in question. "Mad-Eye?"

"Moody. New nickname. Y'know, 'cause of the…" he trailed off, gesturing at his own eye with a slightly weirded-out expression.

"Anyone had the courage to call him that to his face yet?"

"Not as far as I know," was the absent reply. He'd opened the book to the appropriate page and was now running his finger down the list of ingredients. "Okay, when's the next full moon? Tuesday?"

"Wednesday."

"Right, I'll have to owl Moony and tell him I won't be able to make it…"

"Won't be able to make it to what?"

He looked up, startled. "What?"

"You said you'd have to owl Moony about something."

"Oh. Yeah. Full moon."

She gave him another funny look but dismissed his odd behaviour as nerves. She could well understand how a man who'd managed to withstand Minerva McGonagall might be a little tense at the idea of Mad-Eye Moody. Though what the full moon had to do with anything she wasn't sure. Instead, she patted him on the knee and pulled another book down.

"Why are you looking at these things anyway?"

"I thought it would come in handy. In case Death Eaters come sniffing I can turn into…I don't know, the next door neighbour or something."

"She's sixty-seven, Helena."

"Exactly. Perfect disguise. I'll start doing a Moody and carry a hipflask around with me," she joked. "Don't worry, Padfoot, you'll be fine."

"Yeah." He didn't sound convinced though.

Unfortunately Helena didn't have too much time to worry about him—she had studies of her own to deal with. There was plenty to learn on the job, as well as a few exams coming up, as practical as Sirius'. The hospital had its own potioneers and its own stock of potions for use in everyday healing, but the junior healers were required to brew their own, either at home or within the potions lab at St Mungo's. Helena was not looking forward to her next assessed task: brewing the potion that had saved her life once; a Blood-Replenishing Potion. It was tricky to make at the best of times, and potions had never been her strongest skill. And Padgett's Potion Parade was completely out of precognitive plasma, so she'd had to mail order it from Toulouse, and it had only just arrived that morning. Normally she liked to check over the merchandise and see if it was up to scratch before she used it, and now she was faced with the prospect of only knowing if it was any good until after she'd brewed the potion. At least she had a friendly and equally nervous face in Lily, who wasn't doing Blood-Replenishing Potion, but Essence of Dittany. Both potions took roughly the same amount of time to brew—which was to say, all day. There came a period when they both needed to simmer for some time (an hour and fifteen minutes for Helena's, fifty-five minutes for Lily's), that the two young women had a chance for a cup of tea—Helena careful not to mix it with her potion, since the tannins in her tea would absolutely devastate the iron balance—and a quick chat.

"When's your next day off, Helena?"

"Um…Monday. Why?"

"We need to go shopping."

"Do we have to?" Helena asked. "Last shopping trip I went on didn't turn out brilliantly."

Lily smiled self-consciously. "Well this one will be. We're only shopping for two things."

"Which are…?"

"Well, a bridesmaids dress and a bridal gown."

Helena's eyebrows shot up. "You want me to a bridesmaid? Lily, I…I'm honoured. I would love to be."

Lily beamed. "I was hoping you'd say that! That's amazing. Thanks, Helena. I appreciate it. You and Alice are my bridesmaids."

"What about your sister?"

Lily shook her head. "Petunia would never agree. I'll be surprised if she even turns up at the church."

"Where are you having it?"

"Well, that's the other thing. We're having it in Godric's Hollow, but in order to get married in the parish church, we have to be living in the parish. Which means we have to move."

"And you can afford to do that?"

"We can now," Lily answered sadly. "James' parents are…giving us…their house, and moving further north. There's a hospice in York that they've decided would be the most comfortable place for Jasper to…"

Here she trailed off, but it was obvious what she meant. James' father was very, very sick by now. He was going to die within months. "When's the wedding?" Helena asked by way of changing the subject.

"September. The fifth."

Helena raised an eyebrow. "Less than a month then."

"Jasper doesn't have long."

Helena nodded, but was saved from having to make a suitably appropriate reply by the simmer time running out for her potion. When she went back to her cauldron, it was the nice crimson colour it was supposed to be. In another seven stirs clockwise and another seven anti-clockwise, she'd add the aluka sugar, raise the temperature to boiling for another eight and half minutes—and then it would be ready. And hopefully faultless.

Sure enough, it was. By the time she was ready to take it out of the cauldron, it was a deep, vermillion red. She dipped an empty bottle into the liquid and filled it, then stuck a cork in the top feeling rather proud of herself. It was certainly a better potion than she'd ever brewed at Hogwarts. Perhaps her skill was simply increasing as she grew as a witch, starting to test the boundaries of her real power. Beaming broadly, she handed it to Octavia Fantaine, who inspected it closely, then dipped her finger into the solution.

Tasting it, she nodded. "Well done, Helena. An excellent potion."

"Thank you."

"What's next on your list?"

"Calming draught. I'm going to brew it at home next week, and my examination is a few days after that."

"Excellent strategy."

"Thank you, Octavia."

"You're one step closer to becoming a full-fledged healer," she smiled. "I trust you have a suitably celebratory Friday evening planned?"

"Just going out for a drink with a few friends I expect. Just like the rest of London."

Octavia smiled. "In that case have a wonderful evening and I'll see you tomorrow."

The evening was wonderful; the Leaky Cauldron was packed, so much to Helena's disconcertment they took Lily's advice and headed into the muggle city. She was half-convinced that every muggle they walked past would know full well they were four wizards and two witches, but of course they didn't get a second look from anyone. They managed to find a bar not far from Hyde Park, and Helena got to try her first selection of muggle drinks. It was odd, not having butterbeer—or indeed anything close to it—on offer, but she let Lily direct her choices, and ten minutes later she was happily sipping on her first lager and lime. Opposite her, Sirius was busy getting himself a Guinness mustache. She'd had a sip of his and decided she didn't like it, finding it far too bitter. Lager though, she could handle. So well that she'd had about six pints of it so far. It was easier to drink than her normal tipple was, so she wasn't as drunk as she normally would be at this point in the evening. In fact, she felt fine, she told Lily.

Right up until the point when she tried to get up to visit the loo, stumbled hard and found herself on the lap of a complete stranger. Who decided that a quick grope was in order, along with a leer. That was of course until Sirius delivered him a glare that could freeze a furnace and jerked her off the groper's lap and into his own. His arm around her waist felt pretty possessive, but as long as there was no alien hand creeping up her leg she didn't mind.

"Thank you."

"Still think you're not drunk?" Lily chortled.

"I'm just fine."

"Of course you are. Need help finding the loo, Helena?"

Helena looked down at her fairly numb legs. "I might."

Lily laughed again and pulled Helena off Sirius' lap, holding her hand until they'd gotten safely to the pub toilets. When she came back, Sirius was fishing a cigarette out of his pocket. Putting it to his lips, he lit it and took a drag. Then noticed her gaze. "What?"

"Can I try it?"

"What, smoking?" He grinned. "You'd hate it, Hellfire. It's why I smoke in the garden at home."

"Well let me try it now." He shrugged and handed it over to her, watching as she took a drag. It wasn't that bad actually, but neither was it enjoyable. When she moved to hand it over to Sirius again, he shook his head. "No, Hellfire, you have to do it properly."

"But I did."

"No. No first-time smoker doesn't cough with their first breath. You need to take it into your lungs, not just your mouth."

Frowning, she took a deeper breath—and immediately her lungs were aflame and her throat burned. Everyone else laughed uproariously while she spluttered and choked on the noxious fumes now being emitted from her mouth and nose. She almost threw the cigarette back to Padfoot. "You bas-" she had to cut off the rest of her defamation in order to cough some more. "You bastard," she managed finally.

He only grinned at her. "Warned you."

"Okay, you're right, I hate it."

"Hey, do you guys want to go and check out the ascension of Venus into Aries?" Peter asked suddenly. "It won't be visible for very much longer, and you can see it without a telescope."

Astrology was one of the only—or the only—academic subject Peter had ever shown any talent in, and because of that it was almost the only option available to him, career-wise. That or some admin role which anyone, wizard or muggle, could have done. He had wanted to follow Sirius and James (as he always had in everything) into auror training, but in fifth year when choosing OWL options, McGonagall had informed him (kindly, Helena hoped) that he didn't have a hope of being accepting into the training programme. Potions, Herbology, he could do, as they were based in practical skill rather than grasp of spells, but without O Charms and Transfigurations, it was simply not going to happen. He'd managed to get an internship at the Daily Prophet as a trainee astrologist. For obvious reasons, witches and wizards tended to put more stock in such things than muggles did. He could make a good future for himself, which was probably more than most of the teachers had expected of him. And he truly did love his subject, that was obvious now more than ever. His round face was shining in excitement at the prospect of seeing Venus with the naked eye.

"Why not?" she smiled. "We can go to Hyde Park; it's not far and we'll have a clearer view."

Sirius and James both had expressions which indicated they were about to moan about the idea, but disapproving looks from their respective bedmates convinced them it would be a bad idea. Pete didn't get enough things going his way, after all. It was good that things had worked out for him at work, just like they had for the rest of them. Except Remus, she suddenly realised, her gaze falling on the quietest figure in the group. Sensing it, he gave her a pale smile, which she returned. He hadn't gotten a job yet, as far as she knew, at least not in the wizarding world. She couldn't comprehend why not; he'd gotten brilliant results from Hogwarts, and while he rarely spoke of them she knew he wasn't without ambitions. Yet his robes were as shabby and patchwork as they'd always been, and he still looked desperately tired. Feeling a stab of guilt, Helena realised it had been too long since she'd spent any time with him just as her friend, not simply as part of the group.

With that in mind, she made a point of walking next to him on their way to Hyde Park, about a five minute walk away. "You're quiet."

He looked up. "Is that a note or an accusation?"

"Depends. Anything bothering you?"

"No more than usual."

"See, I never understood what that meant," she said. "As long as I can remember you've said that and I still don't. What's 'usual'?"

He shook his head but wouldn't answer.

James' laughter in Sirius' ear distracted his attention from watching Helena and Remus talking quietly together. "Could you be any more obvious if you tried?"

"What?"

"You need to get to a mirror, mate, make sure your eyes haven't turned green."

"Prongs, what are you talking about?"

"You're jealous."

"Me? Of what?"

"Helena's attention not being on you."

They both looked over to where the aforementioned witch was laughing quietly with Moony. She stumbled over a tilting slab on the pavement in her heels, catching onto Remus' arm to stop her falling completely. Before he could stop it, something horribly akin to a growl came out of Sirius' mouth. James had to stop because he was doubled over laughing.

"Okay, you have to tell her," he said when he finally found strength to stand straight again, wiping tears from his face.

"Tell her what?" was the snapped reply.

"Alright, you see that?" James asked, pointing to where Peter and Lily were walking side by side, almost laughing together. "Know why I'm not growling?"

"I don't care."

"Because I've admitted how I feel about Lily, and vice versa. It makes everything about a million times easier, trust me. There's no conflict, there's no guilt, there's no jealousy. We're strong and secure. Confident in each other."

"You sound like you nicked that from a book."

"Stop intentionally missing the point."

"I'm not missing anything."

"Then what's the problem?" James asked as they reached the park and left the path to stroll on the grass.

Helena stopped to take her heels off and wiggle her bare feet deeper into the cool grass with an expression of deep contentment, so serene that he had to smile back. When he looked back at James, there was an extremely smug look on his face. Before he could decide between the urge to either:

- punch his best friend or

- walk away,

Wormtail chose that moment to interrupt, gasping and pointing excitedly up to a golden star in the western sky. "Look! There she is!"

It was late and the park was all but deserted aside from the six of them, so there was no danger of being overheard as Peter went on to describe the ways that Venus being in Aries might affect their spell-casting. Aries being the sign of war, it meant that offensive spells might be stronger, though not as strong as if Mars were the planet. Venus being the planet of love and Aries the most energetic star sign meant that relationships would be infused with impetus and movements. A very good time for new relationships, apparently, and for changes in relationships, whether that was reconciliation or the shift from friendship into something else. Sirius began to wonder if Wormtail and Prongs had got together and were now ganging up on him.

He made sure no one was paying attention and let out a heartfelt sigh. It wasn't that he wanted to be more than friends with Helena, he just didn't want not to be more than friends either. If he knew how he felt, then maybe he'd be more than happy to share it…but he doubted that was true either, if he was honest with himself.

"Hey, Padfoot, what would you say my colour is? Because it's not gold, is it?"

He frowned at Helena. "Your colour? I'd say it was sort of creamy, actually…"

"No, you idiot, what colour do I look best dressed in?"

"I'm not answering that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's one of those questions men should never answer. I say gold isn't your colour, you say, 'Does that mean I look bad in gold?' and then I'm in a really big hole that could have easily been avoided. So not answering."

Unfortunately for Sirius, Helena proved that even by giving any answer, no matter how non-committal, Sirius was already at the bottom of that hole and digging his way to Australia. "Well you must think I look better in some colours than others."

"Nope."

"So I look bad in all colours?"

"I didn't say that."

"You implied it."

"How- How did I imply it?"

"You just said I don't look better in some colours than any others. Since it's impossible for me to look good in everything I wear, then you must think I look bad in some, so you must think I look bad in everything."

"I don't- How did- Hellfire, that's not even approaching any kind of logic. Believe it or not I actually don't care what you wear, since whatever you wear I generally end up taking it off anyway, and as far as I'm concerned the thing you look best in is your skin."

She looked like she didn't want to smile, but the corner of her mouth quirked up in a pleased smirk anyway, and she and Lily went back to chatting about bridesmaid dresses. Seemed like midnight blue was the consensus. Which would probably make her eyes just glow. Stupid beautiful woman.

By the time 1 a.m. rolled around, most of the heat from the day had faded, and dew was beginning to settle on the grass. Helena had long since commandeered his jacket from him by the time they decided to call it a night. Everyone else stood, preparing to disapparate, while Helena carefully put her shoes back on.

"Aren't you just going to apparate home?" Lily asked.

"It's not far, I can walk."

"We can walk," Sirius corrected. "All the Death Eaters in Britain are after you, woman. You're lucky I'm letting you go to the toilet alone."

The others bid them goodnight and left—after checking that the darkness hid them from muggle view—leaving the two of them alone. "Come on."

"Race you," she grinned suddenly, running past him.

"Helena, don't be an idiot-"

"Just because you can't catch me!" she called over her shoulder.

Sirius did the natural thing, and transformed, easily catching up and passing her. Expecting to hear shouts of 'That's cheating' follow him, he was instead given a shocked gasp and a complete lack of running footsteps. He turned to see what the problem was, to find Helena staring at him in complete shock. The dog drew his eyebrows together. Surely she knew-? No. She'd forgotten.

With a sigh, he transformed back.

Helena carried on staring. Then she punched him in the chest and stormed off. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You lied to me!" she yelled furiously over her shoulder.

"I didn't lie," he argued, running to catch up with her. "You guessed, I just talked you out of your guess. I never said you were wrong."

"Semantics!" she snapped. "I guessed right and instead of trusting me and telling me you were an animagus, you let me think I was being paranoid!"

"What choice did I have? If you'd let slip to Lily while she was still Head Girl-"

"How many bloody secrets have I kept for you over the years, Black? How many times have I covered for you with McGonagall, or Lily, or Dumbledore-"

"Alright, alright, I'm sorry," he ground out. "Fuck! You weren't like this the first time you found out."

"Oh wonderful. So this is yet another thing I've forgotten? How many other things are there? Has Remus been made Minister for Magic? Has You-Know-Who changed the Dark Mark to a pink fluffy bunny?"

"Calm down, alright," he snapped. "You're shouting."

Helena did lower her voice, but her tone remained furious. "Whatever happened in those six months, I have a right to know it all. I am fed up of people keeping things from me; it's not fair and I've had enough!"

He couldn't tell her everything. He couldn't. Bound not only by the promise he and James had given to Dumbledore…he couldn't face what she might do. But there were things she could know safely. "Alright. There is one more thing. How you found I was an animagus. Actually, we all are. Me, James and Pete."

She frowned. "What about Remus?"

"There's the reason we became animagi. Think about it," he said carefully. "I'm Padfoot because my other form is a dog. James is Prongs because he turns into a stag. Peter turned into a rat. Remus…"

"Moony," Helena said softly. The moonlight showed her puzzled expression; puzzled, but shifting slowly through the layers of the mystery until meaning began to shine through. Like it was a spell she'd yet to understand. He loved that expression. He knew she had it when her eyebrows shot up briefly, then just as quickly back down again. "Merlin's beard. He's a werewolf, isn't he? He has lycanthropy."

Sirius nodded. "Since he was a kid."

"So you…?"

"So we could keep him company, yeah."

Helena laughed in a short, startled chuckle. "'Keep him company'?" she repeated sharply. "Keep him company? You don't keep a werewolf company!"

"Why not?" Sirius asked fiercely. "Isn't he as deserving as friendship as everyone else? Isn't he a person like you or me? It isn't his fault he got bitten-"

"No, no, no, I didn't mean that," Helena said, putting her hands up. "I'm sorry."

Sirius nodded shortly. "Because James and I are so large as animals, we can help control him. He's not as vicious when he's with us. We have fun."

"Oh God, it's all about fun with you lot, isn't it?" she muttered, suddenly angry again for reasons he had no idea of. "The Marauders…with your maps and your pranks and your immaturity. You know, just for once, I'd wish you'd take something fucking seriously."

Before he could say anything else, she'd turned on the spot and vanished.

A/N: Btw, I have no idea about anything astrological - most of that was guesswork, so I'm sorry it it's all bunkum. Review please!