"Tell me again why I am doing something so stupid like going to my high school reunion," Lindsay grumbled, sliding into a pair of jeans and making a face at herself in the mirror.

"Because I told you to," Adam replied with a chuckled. "Linds, if you really, really don't want to go, we won't go."

She sighed and turned to look at him.

"I want to go. There's no reason for me to be feeling like this. All that stuff is over now. I just… would rather avoid it all."

"Why?"

"That's the thing. I don't know."

He made sure Ben was safe in the middle of the bed, then stood up and crossed the room, wrapping his arms around her and kissing the top of her head.

"I know you said things got better, they stopped talking behind your back and all of that. But I know how much it hurt you that these people you grew up with could be like that. I think you need to go there and see them now and let it all go. It's been a long time and maybe it still hurts you a bit. I promise you, if it turns out to be a bad idea, we're outta there. You just give me the sign and I'll fake a highly contagious illness, okay?"

"I love you."

"I love you too."

He tucked her hair behind her ear and let her go, picking her shirt up off the end of the bed and tossing it to her.

"You might need a little something extra under that. You know, if you don't want all the guys trying to steal you away from me."

She chuckled and slid into a tank top before putting the shirt on.

"Happy?"

"Mixed emotions here."

She smiled and he grabbed her beltloops, pulling her closer to him and kissing her before her mind had even caught up.

"You're beautiful."

"Thank you."

"And you're mine."

"Yes, let's not forget that part."

Their eyes met and she knew exactly what he was thinking, and kicked herself for not remembering or thinking about it earlier.

"Maybe he won't even be there."

"Maybe."

"And if he is, I'll avoid him. I have no desire to talk to him anyway."

"None?"

"None at all. You'll take one look at him and wonder what in the world I was thinking."

"Sure."

"You will. He's not even attractive. Besides, the dude works in a gas station now. I'm for serious, babe."

"A gas station?"

"He sells bad hotdogs and beer and live worms for bait. And the sad part is, I think that's his potential."

"Then why did you date him?"

"We've been over this part. I was young and stupid."

He nodded and she tipped his head up to look at him.

"But then I got old and smart and I picked you and I have never regretted that for one second."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

He nodded and she kissed his forehead, realizing once again that this would always be an uncomfortable subject with them. No matter how much they said it was all behind them and how much they both wanted to forget those old relationships, the fact of the matter is that they were real and they had happened and there was nothing they could do about it now.

"Hey, where's Colton?"

"He went out to play in the yard. I asked him to please not get dirty and he said "Oh daddy," and rolled his eyes."

"He's so much like me it's ridiculous."

"I know. Are we ready to get out of here?"

"Yeah, I think so," she said, scooping Ben off the bed and kissing his cheek.

They gathered their things and went outside, finding Colton by the barn, chasing the sheep.

"What are you doing?" Lindsay asked, opening the gate and stepping inside the pen.

"I's jus' chasin' 'em," he half drawled, wiping his forehead with his sleeve. "I's gonna ride 'em."

"You were going to ride a sheep?"

"Yup."

"Why?" she asked, taking his hand and leading him out of the pen.

"Cuz."

"Oh okay. Now what about what daddy said about not getting dirty?"

"I forgot that part, mama."

She sighed and brushed him off the best she could, then figured it didn't make much difference anyway.

"Geez Karen you know all the gossip," Lindsay said, taking a drink of her Pepsi. "Do you spend the day trolling Facebook and cyber stalking our old classmates or did you get a job working the city switchboard?"

"Which would make you more jealous?"

"It's like you know people got divorced before they even knew they hated each other."

"It's my way I guess."

"She can smell marital discord a mile away," Doug said. "I clothespinned her nose once."

"You're weird," Lindsay retorted, wrinkling her nose.

"You're short."

"Shut up."

Adam chuckled, suddenly knowing exactly how Lindsay had spent her last year of high school, or at the very least, her first few years of college. It was nice to get to see the part he had missed out on. She seemed so young again, sitting there in the sunlight and giggling over the past and he was once again glad he'd pushed her to do this. Maybe pushing wasn't the right word, but she needed it one way or the other.

"Mama, I gotta go potty!" Colton shouted, running over from the sandbox where he had been playing for the last hour. "Really, really much."

He danced in place, his eyes round as he tried desperately not to have an accident.

"Okay, let's go," Lindsay chuckled, standing up from the picnic table and taking his hand.

"Hurry mama it's comin'!"

They made it to the bathroom just in time and Colton sighed in relief once he was done and washing his hands.

"I not wait so long ever 'gain."

"Sure you won't."

"I won't mama," he said as she picked him up. "I know."

"Okay, I believe you."

They went back outside and he squinted at the sun, then buried his face in her hair.

"Is it sunshiney at our home too?"

"Probably."

"I would go swimmin'," he said. "At the pool. Daddy could take me."

"Yeah, he could. We need to get you into swimming lessons soon."

"Daddy teached me doggie paddlin'."

"I know and you look real funny when you do it."

They chuckled together for a moment before she heard a voice behind her.

"Lindsay."

She knew it well and blinked hard before turning around. And there he was. All six feet four inches of him, sandy blonde hair and green eyes and the smile that had broken her heart.

"Hi Brian."

"I didn't think you'd show up."

"Well I did."

They looked at each other for a moment, sizing each other up, trying to decide how this conversation was going to go.

"Mister, who is you?" Colton asked finally, bored with the silence. "You friends with mama?"

"I'm Brian. And I guess… yeah, your mama and I used to be friends."

"You not anymore? How come?"

Lindsay's stomach churned and she tried to think of something to say, but Brian beat her to it.

"A long time ago, I was kind of mean to your mama."

Colton's face turned immediately to indignation and he crossed his arms.

"You mean to my mama? That's not nice. You say sorry?"

"No, I never actually did."

"You say sorry now or you gonna be in big trouble."

"Colton, stop that," Lindsay admonished once she found her voice again. "You know better than to talk like that."

"But mama-"

"No buts, you heard what I said."

"Daddy would be mad if he knowed somebody bein' mean to you."

"Yes, I know."

"And Danny be mad too."

"I know."

"Austin would kick his butt."

"Colton Matthew."

"I say the truth mama."

"Why don't you go and sit with daddy?" she said, rolling her eyes and setting him on the ground.

"Okay. But you," he said, turning to Brian. "You better say sorry to my mama."

"I'll do my best, kid."

He nodded and ran off and Lindsay stood there suddenly feeling like a ball without a tether.

"So that's your kid."

"Yeah. Sorry he's so… um… he just… he's a little protective."

"He loves you."

"Yes, he does."

"You're happy," he said softly, his voice full of so many different emotions, she almost had to take a step back. He had that look in his eyes, and she wanted desperately to get away. She didn't want to hear what he was going to say because she already knew what it was going to be. She just wondered how her being married now was going to enhance things.

"Yeah, I am," she said finally, wanting to throw up.

"I waited too long."

"No, Brian," she sighed, one had going to her hip. "We never would have been together, no matter when you tried to get me back."

"You know that I loved you, Lindsay."

"Don't do this."

"You deserve to know that. I know I'm not him," he said, gesturing towards Adam who was trying really hard not to look in their direction. "But I did love you. And the thing is, I still love you now. Just as much, even more than I did then."

"You don't even know me anymore."

"You're still you, Lindsay. You're still beautiful, you still take my breath away."

"Brian, stop it, you're wasting your time. I have never once given you any indication that I would ever take you back. And now I show up with my husband and two kids and you somehow think that I'm going to change my mind?"

"I know you won't but I can't say I didn't wish you would."

She cursed under her breath and shook her head.

"You need to move on. You can't spend the rest of your life pining for me. And before you say you're not, I already know that you've been single since I left and you're not doing a thing with your life. You're better than that. From someone who still knows you really, really well, you deserve more than this."

"Lindsay I can't just stop wanting to be with you."

"You're going to have to because if you don't you're going to spend the rest of your life miserable. And no matter what happened between us I believe that you should be happy. You have to let go of me, Brian. You have to, because I have a life now that I love, that I would not give up for anything. You need that too and you're never going to get that if you're still waiting for something that's not going to happen."

"You're really happy, Lindsay?"

"Yes. Happy's not even a good enough word for it, but as I am lacking in thesaurus, we'll go with that."

"You look good as a mom."

"Thanks."

"And that man over there is the luckiest man in the whole world. And he'd better know that."

"He knows. But I'm even luckier than he is," she said, looking over at Adam and giving him a half smile. He grinned back at her and her heart pounded.

"You really are happy."

"Yes, I am. And you should be happy too, Brian. I'm serious. What happened between us, you shouldn't spend the rest of your life paying for. Promise me you won't do that anymore."

"Okay."

"Mama!" Colton shouted, racing back towards her and hugging her legs. "You done yappin' yet?"

"I don't know, should I be?"

"I dunno."

She smiled and reached down to run her fingers over his hair.

"You can come play with me please? I build somethin' in the sand and you can take a picture. And cuz Ben is crying and he don't want daddy."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute."

"How much is that?"

"A tiny while."

He nodded and held onto her, as if he didn't trust that she would only be a minute.

"I guess I'd better let you get back to life, Linds."

"Yeah. You think about what I said, okay? I'm serious."

"I will. Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"And hey. I'm sorry."

"Brian, I could blame a lot of things on you and hate you for a lot too, but if you hadn't done what you did, I wouldn't have moved on and left Montana and found Adam and I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I hated what you did at the time but I'm also glad you did it."

"Is that what they call being the bigger person?"

"Or smarter."

He gave her a crooked grin and a nod and would have tipped his had hat he been wearing one.

"Bye Lindsay."

"Bye."

Colton gave him a little wave as they walked off, and he sighed to himself, watching as she crossed the grass and took the baby in her arms, kissing his cheeks and making him laugh while her husband looked at her as if she was the most wonderful woman in the world.

He had really, really missed out.

"I don't know if you've ever seen Lindsay really drunk-"

"Oh geez," Lindsay sighed, casting a long glance at her old drinking buddy Griff. He'd had a fake ID and she'd just wanted to forget things, so they had become friends of convenience. She hated remembering that time in her life, even if there were some good stories, which she was certain Griff was about to tell.

"This one night she got really wasted. I mean, she had a lot to drink, she was always a pretty sober drunk, but this night she must have had more than I thought she did and she was bouncing off the walls."

Adam gave her a half grin and she winced back, knowing what was coming.

"I took her for a walk to try and sober her up and she just couldn't stop giggling. And I know if she was going crazy or what, but she sees this flowerbed with those red lava rocks in it, and she goes "Griff look, bacon bits!" and she jumps in the flowerbed and before I can stop her she shoves one in her mouth."

"Ah gross," Adam said, wrinkling his nose.

And she sat there for a second then looks up at me and goes "Sweet baby Buddah, this isn't bacon!" spits it out, dusts herself off and starts getting after me for letting her eat it."

"Sounds about right," Adam chuckled, twisting a strand of her hair around his finger.

"Hey, now I haven't had a drink in a really long time and it's been even longer since I've been drunk."

"I'm telling Austin this story when we get home."

"Oh great."

"See, aren't you glad we came, honey?"

She shook her head and buried her face in her hands.

"That's it, no more stories Griff."

"Wait, I didn't even tell him about the time you tried to skateboard."

"Please don't. I have to leave here with some dignity. Besides you were a pretty ridiculous drunk yourself. I seem to recall you wetting your pants a time or two."

"Hey!"

She chuckled and adjusted Colton in her arms, wishing the wind would start blowing and clear away some of the heat. They'd been outside for a good six hours and she really wanted some air conditioning.

"Well I've gotta go spread more embarrassment to people who thought they could trust me in their worst moments," Griff said, standing up from the table. "See ya later, Kokanee."

"Bye," she said, rolling her eyes as he left them.

"You were quite a little spit fire," Adam said amusedly.

"You're just figuring that out?"

"No, I'm just now getting concrete evidence to back up my theory."

"At least I got it all out of my system."

"You so did not."

"Yes I did."

"Honey, you can't get your personality out of your system."

"You don't want me to, do you?"

"Not at all. Come on, we should get out of here and let our offspring sleep in real beds."

She nodded and they gathered their things and left the park, putting the boys into their carseats while the crickets chirped and night became darker.

"Hey, want to go somewhere with me when we get back?"

"Somewhere like where?"

"Oh I dunno, I think I could use a swim in some nice cold water."

"You want me to go swimming with you at night in that pond that is filled with slime and animals?"

"Yeah. But it's really not that bad, I promise."

"I dunno."

"Please? Just for a few minutes? You have no excuse, I packed your swim trunks."

"Alright, I'll go."

"I love you."

"Because I let you have your way?"

"Among other things."

He shook his head as she rolled down her window and let the air whip over her face. He could tell she was tired and knew that it had to be exhausting to transport herself back to one of the darkest times of her life while keeping a happy face on. She seemed to be alright though, accepting that it was the past and that's not who she was anymore. She'd made peace with it all in the last few hours and he couldn't have been more proud of her.

They made it back to her parents house just as the very last of the days light slipped away, and they carried the boys upstairs quietly, changing their clothes and tucking them in.

Pretty soon they were out the door, swimming attire on underneath t-shirts, large towels draped over their arms. They told her parents where they were going so they could keep an eye on the boys, then headed down the gravel path to the pond.

"You alright?" Adam asked, pulling her close and kissing the top of her head.

"Yep, I'm good."

"You seem a little lighter."

"What?"

"You're walkin' all happy."

"Must be the sun," she sighed. He stopped walking and turned her to face him, grabbing her waist and crushing his lips to hers. She laughed against him, sliding her arms around his neck for a few moments before pulling away.

"Come on, let's go."

He sighed as she took his hand and pulled him down the path until they reached the pond. It was a lot larger than he had expected, but then everything in Montana, like Texas, was bigger. The moon was out but not very bright, so he could barely see where he was walking, and he stumbled over a rock near the bank

"I'm kind of afraid of what's in this water."

"Oh Adam, don't be a baby."

"What if I get bit by something?"

"Then you'll have a good story to tell when we get back. Come on, it's perfectly fine."

Her voice was muffled as she pulled her t-shirt off and tossed it into the grass, where it was soon joined by her shorts.

"Am I going to look like a fool swimming alone?" she asked finally, her hands on her hips.

"Alright, alright."

He couldn't see her but he knew she had her hands on her hips, her head cocked to the side and one eyebrow up, and he grinned as he peeled his t-shirt off.

"Uh, Linds?" he asked, hearing her bathing suit drop to the ground. "What are you doin'?"

"What do you think I'm doin'?" she retorted with a grin, sashaying towards the water. Or at least he pictured her sashaying, because he really couldn't see a thing.

Not that he needed to. His memory was pretty sharp.

He heard a splash and then silence before the water surface broke again and he heard her almost teasing voice.

"Water's nice, Adam."

"Yep," he gulped.

"Even nicer if you get in it."

He couldn't think of a retort, so he went ahead and joined her.

"No one's gonna steal our clothes, right?"

"You've gotta be joking."

"Hey, someone here has to be pragmatic."

"Have you ever heard about seizing the day? C'est la vie? Eat drink and be merry? Livin' la vida loca?"

"Are you hurling clichés at me?"

"Just tossing."

He chuckled and moved closer to her, wishing the moon would brighten up so he could see her, even just for a second.

"So, uh, you come here a lot?"

She snickered and brushed her fingers through his hair.

"Not at night, no."

He smiled and rested his forehead against hers, sighing deeply and closing his eyes.

"What are you thinkin'?" she asked softly.

"I'm just wondering if your heart is okay right now."

"It's good. My mind's a little tired, but my heart is just fine. You keep it safe, remember?"

"I'm going to kiss you now, so I hope you don't got nowhere to be."

"Not unless you're goin' there too."

"Adam?"

Her voice was just a gentle noise, gently pushing into his relaxation as they lay back in the grass looking at the stars.

"Hmm?"

"I wasn't teasing before," she whispered, running her hand slowly over his chest. "I've really never done this."

"What, tricked a man into skinny dipping, then seduced him with mere words?"

She giggled and shook her head.

"Literally, you are correct. But that's not exactly what I was getting at."

"What were you getting at?"

"You saw him today, Adam. And you didn't meet him but you knew who that was."

"Yeah, I did."

"And I may have history with him, I may have things with him that I can't get back, but I have more with you that he can never touch. And I know it's not the same, but I need you to know that. You're mine and I'm yours and it's not because you won me or wooed me. It's because I handed myself over to you. I've never done that before, not completely. I wish you could be my first of everything, but as far as heart goes, you are. You have it all, Adam. You have everything."

He wished desperately that he could see her so he could look into her eyes and make her see what her words meant. But he couldn't, so he had to rely on his own words instead.

"I hope that I'm worthy of what you give me, Lindsay. Because it's the most beautiful thing I have ever been given."

Her hand found his and she slowly laced their fingers together before leaning up to kiss him.

"You're more than worthy. So much more."

They lay quietly for a while longer, soft hums of contentment being the only conversation they had. It was warm out but eventually a chill did start to set in, and she sat up a little.

"We should get back. Not that I really want to, but we should."

"Yeah, probably."

They got up slowly, putting their clothes on and making themselves presentable before heading back to the house. Everyone was asleep and they got ready for bed as quietly as possible, finally sliding under the covers with gentle giggles.

"Now I don't want you going home and telling the guys about this or nothin' okay?"

"They'd be so jealous!"

"Exactly why I don't want you telling them."

"Okay, deal."

They shook on it and she buried herself in him, getting as close as she could before sighing deeply.

"I love you, Adam."

"I love you too, Lindsay."

"Thank you for loving me."

"Thank you for letting me."

He kissed her and watched as she fell asleep in his arms, completely trusting, completely loved, completely his.