While You're Making Other Plans
by Glistening Sun and Miss Shannon
Chapter 31
Provenza was trying very hard to ignore Flynn's thunderous expression, but his best friend was wearing the deepest frown he had ever seen while his arms were crossed tightly in front of his chest, fingers painfully digging into his arms. The source of his aggravation was quite obviously the very thing that was making everyone else smile or at least try very hard not to. On the screen of Tao's laptop was Sharon Raydor, her eyes bright and her cheeks slightly flushed. A few years ago Provenza wouldn't have admitted to it, but now he couldn't deny that she had what was the unmistakable look of a homicide detective who'd gotten a whiff of blood. She was one of them and just like every one of the others would have, she was slowly going out of her mind with boredom now that she was confined to her house.
"Okay, so I rewatched the entirety of season 4 and I am pretty sure I have figured out which episode the kiss was cut from," Sharon was telling them brightly, her hands a lot more expressive than they would have usually been with the restraints of being the head of the team suddenly lifted. Her knowledge of Badge of Justice had just given them some much-needed background on their case, so they were happy to indulge her now even though it didn't really matter to their kidnapping case which episode exactly had initially been meant to feature the annoying rule-following Captain and her even more annoying hothead of a lieutenant smooching. Personally, Provenza couldn't have cared less, but he enjoyed Flynn's expression too much to stop her now.
Sharon leaned back in her chair when she concluded, turning her palms up in a gesture of finality. "It was after the hug, of course!" She leaned in again almost conspiratorially. "I mean, not that I think it warrants a kidnapping, but I do agree that this long rather pointless conversation the lieutenant's foster daughter had on whether she should major in law or medicine was pretty drawn out as it was! They could have easily saved some screen time to show that kiss!"
She sketched a wave. "The fandom is going nuts, I can tell you!" She scrolled through something on her phone and then turned it around so the screen was visible. "Hashtag BadgeofJustice," she said proudly. "is trending on twitter." She looked at the screen and read from it "Right in the feels."
"What is that supposed to mean?" Provenza scoffed and she shrugged.
"I am not sure, Lieutenant. It sounds painful, anyway," she said airily. "Here's another one." Sharon frowned. "Talking about how Dusty – that's the daughter – will probably be shown accidentally signing up for travel insurance before we got a meaningful scene with our lovers."
She gave a short laugh then seemed to notice the way her team was staring at her and shrugged. "I might have gotten a little bit carried away, but I was on tumblr all afternoon."
Provenza rolled his eyes. "What on earth is The Tumblr? Is it like The Youtube?"
"It does have cats," Sharon confirmed excitedly.
Hopefully not poor baby cats left out in the rain, Provenza hoped with some amusement. The story about her crying at a commercial had made the rounds and had provided a source of great amusement to all of them for weeks. Flynn had made them swear that they wouldn't tease her about it.
Sharon looked past Provenza and frowned sadly when she saw the picture of Jane Cuff pinned to the murder board. She was in her late fifties with short blond hair and clear blue eyes, wearing a knowing little smile. Not wearing any make-up at all and wearing a checkered shirt, Jane did not look particularly posh but was far from plain with her intelligent gaze and relaxed posture. Provenza followed Sharon's gaze to the picture they had printed off of the The Tumblr. Cuff was on the floor looking dazed, her hands cuffed to wooden beam in what looked to be some kind of rural home nondescript enough not to be easily identifiable.
"Captain, maybe you can monitor The Tumblr a little longer," Provenza had a hard time preventing his amusement from showing on his face when he saw the look on Flynn's. The sheer amount of anger that was brought up by the combination of Badge of Justice once again being the focus of everyone's attention and Provenza putting Sharon to work when she was supposed to be on maternity leave was fascinating to watch.
"Will do. See you later, guys." Sharon smiled at Andy. "Let me know whether you'll be home for dinner, honey. I can throw something together."
Andy just grunted, probably aware that she wouldn't listen to him anyway if he tried to tell her to take it easy.
The screen went black and Flynn turned towards Provenza without missing a beat. "What do you think you're doing, putting Sharon to work like this? She is on maternity leave for a reason, dammit!"
"She seemed fine to me," Provenza ignored his friend's irritation. "Glad that she has something to do now, in fact."
Flynn snorted. "She is supposed to rest. Baby doesn't let her sleep at night with all the kicking."
"I am not the one who did that to her," Provenza said pointedly and to a chorus of disgusted groans.
Despite his almost overwhelming concern for Jane, Rusty couldn't help but be amused by the sight he happened upon as he came home from college. Home. Andy's house had become home more quickly than he would have ever expected. Maybe it was the familiar furniture from the condo, maybe it was Sharon's touch that had turned Andy's space into theirs or maybe it was Sharon herself who made it all feel warm and welcoming and homey. He didn't care as long as the fuzzy feeling that gripped him every time he walked through the door to the sight of Sharon doing her weird stretching exercises or to the smell of dinner on the stove or to the sound of her humming to herself would never fizz out. Today he found her wrapped in a big, fuzzy cardigan on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, the ipad resting on top of her belly. Her glasses were perched on the tip of her nose, her brows pulled together in a frown of concentration. She only looked up when he cleared his throat.
"Hi, honey." She smiled brightly, albeit a little distractedly. "Is it that late already?"
"Yes, almost six," he replied cheerily.
"You must be starving. I was going to start dinner!" She ran a hand through her hair and looked at him sheepishly. "Can you help me up? I'll make some sort of stir-fry."
Rusty chuckled at the now familiar question, still endlessly amused by the fact that the almighty Sharon Raydor was having trouble getting to her feet by herself nowadays. She was always trying to show Andy that she didn't need him to wait on her, but her attitude was a lot more lax with Rusty. He appreciated that they had their little secret. He took her outstretched hand and pulled her to her feet where she took a moment to gain her balance and then hugged him tightly.
"How are you doing with the whole kidnapping thing, Rusty?"
He shrugged. "I really like Jane. I mean... we are not super-close or anything, it's not like you had been kidnapped..."
"Oh don't worry," Sharon huffed in one of her sporadic bouts of dry humor. "I am far too big to be kidnapped at this point." She grimaced. "Sorry, honey. Go on."
Her hand found his and he squeezed it, leaning into her a little more. She smelled of her flowery perfume and of herself and he wanted to step into her arms and let her hold him for a bit. It felt so good to have a mother like that who cared for him and was ready to listen to his every concern. As if she had read his mind, Sharon wrapped her arms around him and held on to him as tightly as her protruding belly allowed. She hummed a little bit and his hand felt the tight muscles on her back.
As much as she tried to hide it and counteract it with exercise and physical therapy, carrying the baby was hard on her and there was no way either he or Andy could make it any easier on her. He felt her lips on the top of his head.
"They'll find Jane. They just have to release that kiss. And when they do, I am so going to watch."
He stepped back and shook his head in disbelief. "You are such a fangirl, Mom."
Sharon chuckled self-consciously. "I know, right?" She looked pensive for a moment. "Or as this say on tumblr-" She mimicked quotation marks in the air with her fingers. "Hashtag IKR."
"You're a total geek, Mom," Rusty told her earnestly. "Now let's make that dinner, I am starving."
He scrolled through his phone while Sharon was heating up water for the pasta and cutting vegetables. She had assured him that she did not need or want his help, so he felt comfortable just watching her. Rusty understood how useless she felt and how it helped her to have a task to complete, so he decided not to interfere with her cooking. She was stirring the contents of the pan with one hand while the other one was rubbing soothing circles on her belly.
"Sharon, I was wondering," Rusty began, causing her to turn around and give him a watchful glance over the rims over glasses. She could always tell when something was up, but he soldiered along anyway, trying to make his voice sound light. "Are you really okay being caught up in this case? I mean, shouldn't you be shopping for baby stuff and resting and doing your swimming?"
Her tense expression dissolved and she nudged his shoulder playfully. "I am doing all that. And I am not actually caught up in that case. Just doing a bit of research from the safety of my home." She smiled at him. "I am grateful, actually. I am not used to having so much time on my hands. It helps me not to worry."
"Worry about what?" Rusty asked. "Stroh?"
Sharon placed the spatula aside and stepped away from the stove. "Him, too. But mostly- you are aware that my pregnancy is not exactly textbook, are you?"
Rusty frowned. "Now what is that supposed to mean?"
"I am ancient, Rusty," she grimaced self-consciously. "For this type of thing anyway. So far the baby is fine, but my doctor's been talking to me about the birth. She thinks it would be too hard on both of us to do it the natural way and wants to schedule a C-section as a precaution."
"So?" Rusty asked, remembering what he had read online to gain a better understanding of what Sharon was going through. "A C-section is not a big thing anymore, is it? Unless, well... they do cut you open."
"No, it's fine. I am not particularly worried about that. It is just that it makes me feel so fragile. And it reminds me that even though the baby and I have made it this far, I can't take for granted that everything is going to be okay with him." Her eyes looked a little watery right now and she was pressing her lips together in that way that Rusty knew was a telltale sign that she was trying to contain her emotions.
"Or with you," he added quietly, suddenly catching another glimpse of what was upsetting her so much. "You're also worried that something is going to happen to you, aren't you?"
She touched both of his arms, caressing them in long, gentle strokes. "You do know that I would never leave you if I can help it, right?"
Rusty swallowed hard. "If you can help it? Please don't talk like this, Sharon, okay?"
She gave him a sad smile that did nothing to reassure him, but didn't let go of his arms. "I don't like to think about it either, honey, but it is something we have to address from time to time."
Rusty shook his head, upset by the notion of Sharon dying. He couldn't imagine her not being there to welcome him home and to reassure him when he felt off-kilter as he still did so frequently. He felt himself beginning to panic and the silence seemed so heavy, so he rambled the first few words that came to mind.
"Why are you even having the baby if it is so dangerous?"
He regretted the words as soon as they'd left his lips, but Sharon didn't seem too fazed. Maybe she had asked herself the same question. When she finally spoke, her answer didn't sound rehearsed.
"I didn't plan on having a baby, Rusty. You know that. But once I found out that it had happened, embarrassment and all, I started loving it as fiercely as I love all of you."
Rusty was silent for a moment, the vivid images of a funeral with a pink-faced infant and a broken Andy Flynn refusing to be chased away. For a moment he wanted to hate the little boy for threatening to take his mother away, but then he reached out, searching Sharon's eyes for approval. As he gently laid his hand against the side of Sharon's stomach, she smiled and covered it with hers.
"There he is," she said, moving it a little to the right. When he looked up at her again, she was crying in earnest, silently and dignified as usual, but crying nonetheless with tears rolling down her cheeks one after another. "That's your brother."
He wasn't sure whether she was talking to him or to the baby or even to both of them, but then it did amount to the same thing. He was so much a part of Sharon's family now that there was no question as to whether the new baby would consider him a big brother.
"Hey stop crying, okay?" Rusty said in an effort to lighten the mood.
"I'm sorry," Sharon's voice went up the same way it always did when she was emotional and she self-consciously reached up to wipe the tears away with her sleeve. When she hiccuped – now rather undignifiedly – the baby gave a swift kick in response and Rusty jumped, causing Sharon to take a step back in surprise and knock over the salad bowl. Even though, fortunately, she hadn't added the dressing yet, they both looked on in dismay as the contents of the bowl rolled on the floor.
"Great, little brother," Rusty said dryly, not just a little grateful for the distraction – he had been a little worried that he would find himself prompted to maybe cry as well. His throat had felt so tight and his eyes had begun to burn. "There you go, causing trouble before you are even born."
"Just like Daddy." Sharon smiled at him, her eyes, as always, looking greener as they were still shining with tears. She soothed the baby with her thumb while she surveyed the damage.
"Oh, well. Looks like there will be no salad tonight then," she said dismissively. "Let's clean up this mess."
Rusty really wanted to tell her to leave it and let him do the cleaning, but he also really enjoyed the funny way she behaved whenever she was forced to pick something up from the floor. Luckily for him, it was something that continued to become even funnier as her pregnancy progressed. As hell-bent as she was on doing things the way she always had, he didn't have to wait too long before she awkwardly lowered herself to the floor, holding on to the fridge all the way down and sat down next to the bowl into which she began to collect the scattered vegetables. Chuckling, the tight feeling in his chest if not dissolved at least less painful, Rusty joined her on the floor. Only after a moment of silently picking up salad leaves while grinning to himself, he became aware of the fact that she was looking at him sternly over the rims of her glasses.
"It is not very nice to be amused by your old, huge mother," she said pointedly, albeit with traces of humor flickering behind her eyes.
"I am not amused," he said, sadly betrayed by the bubbling laughter he was unable to contain.
She threw the last piece of carrot into the bowl and folded her arms in front of her chest. "Forgiv me if I do not believe you, Rusty."
"Be nice or I won't help you up," Rusty shot back, causing her to draw her brows into a frown.
"Not very nice," she repeated, but the corners of her mouth were twitching.
"Sharon, are you okay?"
They hadn't heard Andy come in over the non-existent noise of their silent staring contest and both rolled their eyes in perfect unison as well as in a perfect imitation of each other that wouldn't have been so surprising if they had actually been related by blood. Sharon looked up and smiled, her hand on top of her stomach.
"No, I am fine, honey. It is just our son making fun of me, because I am big and can't handle myself so well these days." She pulled her lips into a perfect little pout that Rusty knew would always melt Flynn's heart.
"That is not very nice of you," Flynn said to Rusty, halfway caught between actual consternation and amusement. He sat down next to Sharon on the kitchen floor and kissed her sweetly on the lips. "I think you handle yourself very well, my dear."
"Uh, gross!" Rusty called. "Don't flirt and make out in front of me."
His heart felt suddenly light. Sharon hadn't referred to him as her son, as she had taken up doing a long time ago, but to their son and Andy hadn't even batted an eyelash at that. As nausea-inducing as he pretended to find the way they were with each other, he was glad that he had gained not only one, but two parents.
Sharon snuggled into Andy's side, obviously busy inhaling his after shave as he placed his big hand on her stomach to say hello to their other son.
"Something's burning," he said matter-of-factly, causing Rusty to jolt to his feet and try to savage whatever was left of their stir-fry. Though busy with the already half-burned mess, he spotted from the corner of his eye how Andy helped Sharon to her feet and pulled her against him, noticing the barely dried tears on her cheeks. Rusty also didn't miss the look of understanding that passed between the two. Andy didn't inquire, not even silently, why Sharon had been shedding tears. He seemed aware of their cause and that brought the tight feeling back to take up permanent residence in Rusty's chest.
He had just gained a family and he could not bear to lose his mom again.