Chapter seven! I've been busy with moving and typed this on a laptop...so I'm sorry if there's any spelling or grammar errors! And thank you so much for all the kind reviews! It means a lot to me :)

Jeff slammed the door to his car and angrily wiped the tears from his eyes with the sleeve of his hoodie. He didn't think it was possible to hate himself as much as he did right now. Why did he have to snap at Nick like that? He had no right to tell Nick who was right for him, to stand in the way of his happiness. And he certainly wasn't in any place to speak lowly of Lewis, especially not after Jeff snapped at Nick like he did.

Discovering his true feelings for Nick changed nothing. He never expected it would. It only made Jeff miserable knowing that Nick had Lewis. He knew that every negative thing he had to say about Lewis was only sparked by his jealousy.

He felt selfish. He wanted so badly to just be happy for them, but whenever he saw them together…he just couldn't muster up any kindness. And he sure as hell couldn't tell Nick how he felt. It could ruin everything they had as friends. Jeff was never meant to be anything more than Nick's friend anyways. And that was all they would be: friends.

That thought alone killed Jeff a little on the inside. But he knew he would just have to deal with it. Keeping his feelings bottled up, hiding away in the closet forever and forcing himself to pretend that seeing them together didn't tear him apart from the inside out…

It was so much easier to do that subconsciously, when he didn't know what he was really feeling deep down, but he knew he had to try, if only for Nick's sake. If Jeff loved Nick as much as he thought he did then he could, at the very least, feign support. Right?

It was worth a shot. It wasn't like he had anything to lose, in any case.

…

After hours of contemplating what to say, Jeff finally found himself at Nick's doorstep. All he was here to do was apologize, though, and nothing more. Piece of cake. Hopefully.

He drew in a breath and rang the doorbell. Nick opened the door after about a minute, and his deep green eyes seemed surprised to see Jeff standing on his porch. "Oh, Jeff," he greeted, stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. "What're you doing here? You normally sulk for a few days after we have an argument."

Jeff grimaced. "Er, yeah…about that…" he started uncomfortably, standing away from Nick. "I, um, I kind of wanted to just say I'm sorry…And you're right. I haven't been as supportive as I should be. But I promise I'll try harder with that from now on." He rushed through the apology a little faster than he'd intended to. But at least it was out now…

Nick looked slightly surprised. "Well, um, that's good to hear…I'm glad that you see it my way," he said slowly. "I'm just a little shocked. That apology came a lot quicker than usual." He narrowed his eyes at Jeff questioningly.

Yep, Nick knew Jeff only too well. This kind of thing definitely was out of the ordinary for him. "Yeah, well…I just think it's silly to fight because of Lewis. It isn't any of my business, anyways…" He mumbled the last part a little bitterly.

Nick seemed to notice this. "Jeff…you know that no matter who I'm with, you'll still always be my best friend, if that's what you're worried about," he tried to reassure.

Oh, god, please don't make me cry again, Jeff thought to himself. It was exactly that thought that choked him up: they were friends, and they would never be anything more. But, of course, Nick didn't know that. And it was for the better. Jeff managed a pitiful smile. "Y-yeah. I know, don't worry," he murmured. He swallowed back the lump in his throat, reminding himself that he was supposed to be happy for Nick. Tears wouldn't make his artificial happiness very believable, especially since he almost never cried.

"Um, one other thing," Nick said. "I've noticed that you seem a little…depressed lately. And don't tell me that nothing's wrong, because I know better." He gave Jeff a warning look.

It was true that he couldn't lie to Nick. He'd most likely see right through it. "Yeah. I've just, erm, got a lot on my mind lately."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Nick offered.

Oh, hell no. "I'd rather not, actually," he mumbled. "Sorry."

"Jeff, I know what it's like to be depressed, you know. I've been there," he reminded him. "I'm here for you, and if there's anything I can do to help…"

"There isn't," Jeff told him. "Trust me. I appreciate the offer, but you can't help."

"You could at least talk to me about it," Nick pressed on relentlessly. "I'll listen."

Jeff shook his head. "No. I'm okay; I'll deal with it on my own. It's nothing I'm comfortable talking about." Even if he did decide to talk to Nick about his inner turmoil, what in the world would he say? I think I'm in love with you? That would be suicide.

"Please, Jeff?" Nick pleaded desperately. "You're really starting to worry me. I've never seen you so upset, and there's nothing I can do to help? I tell you everything. Don't you trust me enough to do the same?"

"Of course I trust you," Jeff insisted. "I just…I can't tell you this. It's too personal. Please understand," he begged. And please, stop looking at me like that with those emerald eyes of yours. I can't take it.

Nick sighed in defeat. "Okay, fine. If you really don't want to talk about it, I guess I can understand," he gave in reluctantly. "But if you change your mind, I'm here."

"Thank you," Jeff sighed. "And I appreciate the offer to help. Really, | do. I just need to deal with this on my own for now."

"Alright," Nick agreed unhappily.

Jeff decided he wanted to change the subject. This topic was too depressing for him. "So, maybe we can hang out tonight or something?" he suggested.

Nick frowned. "Erm, I would, but…I've, um… I've got a date tonight… with Lewis…" he said with painful reluctance. "I'm sorry." His eyes were regretful.

Jeff forced a smile even though he felt like crying. Blinking back tears, he said, "Oh, well. Maybe some other time," in a light voice. "I guess I'll just go, then…I'll see you later." He started off the porch before Nick could say a word. "I hope you have fun on your date."

It was a completely empty wish, but Nick didn't have to know that. He also didn't have to see the tears that spilled from Jeff's eyes as he headed back towards home.