"On December 7, 1941, World War II began. Not since 1914 had a war this influential shocked the world," Mr. Feeny was saying.
It was 8 a.m. and we were in U.S. history. I was unbearably tired; not just physically but emotionally as well. All I wanted was to go to sleep. I tried my hardest not to. I needed a rest 'a genuine rest', to quite Val, the nurse played by Whoopi Goldberg, in the movie Girl, Interrupted. Or, in my case, life, interrupted.
As much as I tried not to, I'd fallen asleep by the end of class. In school no less but I was too tired to care.
"Miss Matthews," Mr. Feeny said, waking me up.
I opened my eyes, blinked and sat up.
"Huh?" was my response: "I mean, exscuse me? Er, yes?"
"I believe you fell asleep."
"I I'm sorry Mr. Feeny. What time is it?"
"It's nearly lunch time."
"Oh no I missed the rest of my classes! I better go and explain and-"
Mr. Feeny came out from behind his wooden desk. No one else was in the room.
"Miss Matthews it's fine. It's alrite. Normally I wouldn't allow this kind of behaviour but I know that there's something going on. You've such a strong work ethic that it's hard not to notice. I won't push you to talk I know that's the last thing you want right now. But…" he indicated my gauze-wrapped wrist.
I was now more awake, but still tired. Rested, I think you would call it.
"I I'm sorry," I apologized for lack of something better to do, to say.
"It's alrite. It's not the first time I've seen something like this, in all my many years of teaching. A dear dear friend of mine lost her life to suicide."
"But I'm not-"
"I know you didn't try to kill yourself, Morgan. Unlike most, I know the difference. Another friend of mine dropped out of school because of her inner turmoil. I don't want to see that happening to you. I care about you. i'm not going to tell anyone unless you give me permission. Though I imagine some already know."
"Yes. Eric does, and he has the same approach as you."
"Ah. He's a wonderful person. Good to talk to."
"Yes, he is."
"And, Leo knows, of course."
"Of course. It's wonderful to see two people be as good friends as you two are."
He paused; "Miss Matthews, I know you're falling apart."
I wasn't sure what to say. Mr. Feeny sensed my hesitation; "it's alrite I don't expect you to say anything right now."
Another pause; "as it's lunchtime how would you like some tea?"
"Yes that would be lovely."
We left the classroom and went into the small teacher's lounge. Teachers were coming in and out.
"George I need to talk with you about an upcoming test," Mr. Turner, my English teacher, said when we arrived.
He was getting water out of the water cooler.
Mr. Feeny held up his hand; "not right now Johnathon I've more important matters to attend to."
Mr. Turner backed away a few steps; "alrite."
Mr. Feeny pulled out a dark blue plastic chair from where it was pushed against the long rectangular gray wood table.
"Miss Matthews, sit down," he told me.
I did so, and waited while he prepared the tea.
My brother Cory's best friend Shawn came in; "Hi Mr. Feeny,"
Cory and Shawn were both 19.
"Ah Mr. Hunter hello."
"Shawn, what can we do for you?" Mr. Turner asked.
"Well actually, I'm here to see Mr. Feeny."
"Can it wait?"
"I'm not entirely sure."
"It's just that I'm with Miss Matthews right now."
Shawn spotted me and smiled; "oh Morgan hey."
He pulled out another dark blue plastic chair and sat next to me.
"How are ya?" he said.
I sighed, my bandaged wrist in my lap. Shawn noticed.
"Oh Morgan," he said.
"I…..I guess this pretty much explains how I am."
I was going to swear but there was a teacher in the room.
"Yes. Yes it does."
"It, it wasn't a suicide attempt, if that's what you're thinking."
"I'm not I wasn't I know the difference."
"Ok. I just…."
"It's ok, you don't have to explain anything."
Mr. Feeny set the tea in front of me on the table; "Mr. Hunter, would you like anything? Coffee, tea?"
I smiled, because he sounded like an airline stewardess.
Shawn looked up at Mr. Feeny; "um coffee. Black."
"Alrite."
Shawn looked at me; "you don't have to tell me anything right now."
"Ok."
Mr. Feeny turned to Mr. Turner; "Johnathon, could you exscuse us?"
"Oh, sure."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. I'll talk to you later then?"
"Yes."
Mr. Turner left, closing the tall wooden door behind him as he did so.
Shawn's coffee had finished brewing. He stood up to get it.
"I'll get it."
Mr. Feeny put up his hand; "no."
Shawn sat back down.
"You'll want to sit down for this."
We were both already sitting.
Mr. Feeny poured the coffee, and brought the cup and some tea over to the table for himself. He set the coffee cup down in front of Shawn, and went around and sat down at the other side of the table, across from us.
"Thanks," Shawn said.
Mr. Feeny nodded.
"Miss Matthews, Mr. Hunter," he told us.
It was quiet, the clock was ticking.
"Yes?" I said.
"I'm afraid I've some bad news."